I’m the anonymous inquirer—thanks for the thoughtful response, Mark!

Please pray for God’s wisdom for me and my family.

Well said Mark!

Love the response. I’m a recent convert and what you wrote here was very edifying. God bless!

As a recent convert to Catholism via Evangelicalism, I have two short things to add concerning each question:

(1) Two of the best introductions to Catholic devotional life are “The How-To Book of Catholic Devotions” by Mike Aquilina and “Introduction to the Devout Life” by St. Francis de Sales. Both of those books will take you deep down the path toward holiness.

(2) Your wife’s concern was actually my biggest concern before becoming Catholic. My Methodist church was so alive and vibrant and faithful yet when I attended Mass the mood was mellow and dry. Why would I would to convert to that? What ultimately caused a shift was my exploration of the saints. Don’t judge Catholicism by those who passively sample it—judge it by those who have wrapped their mouths around the whole thing and devoured it whole. Read the Church fathers, St. Augustine, St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, St. Francis, and St. Therese of Lisiuex and see if you then desire the faith that they have. The saints paint the best picture of Catholicism-gone-right.

Hope that helps!

1- The Rosary is a great family prayer.  It can bind a couple together in Christ, and raise up godly children.  Also helpful is the Liturgy of the Hours, which can be prayed in full or in part, depending on your schedule.  The best prayer is Holy Mass.  Daily Mass is available in most US communities, and well worth the investment in time and effort.

2- In my Christian walk, I found that God always openned the door to me when I confided in him my needs.  If I needed Christian fellowship, he put people and groups in my way.  When I prayed for a believing wife, he gave me one.  When I desired a family, God provided.  Don’t consider faith in the abstract.  Appeal to God for your real, actual needs - he will provide.

I have also come to understand that the principal vocation of the Christian layman is his home and family.  A lot of non-Catholic Christians believe that you have to evangelize, teach and preach scripture, send out missionaries, etc.  But at bottom, a lay person’s first obligation is to his wife and children.  Catholics remember this.

God bless you!

My husband converted to the faith a few years before I met him (I’m a cradle Catholic) and this has come up a few times.  After his conversion he landed himself in seminary for a few years and was surrounded by faithful men preparing to give their lives to God’s service.  Now that he is married and out in regular parish life some of the problems you’ve mentioned are even more apparent.  While there may be a great many of our fellow Catholics sitting in the pews dead to what is actually happening up on the altar at Mass, don’t be too disheartened.  These are a few suggestions I thought while reading this post:
1.  Get involved in at least one thing at Church.  When you are on fire for Christ it is easy to get carried away and sign up for everything and then go to nothing because you are overwhelmed.  Pick one thing to start - RCIA, volunteering with St. Vincent de Paul, a mens bible study, etc.  People who go out of their way to get involved generally have a more vested interest in their faith and living it out (and sharing about it with you).
2.  Make a Catholic friend - someone who really knows and cares about their faith.  This is someone you can talk to and know they will share in your morals and beliefs.  You don’t need to to have a structured “faith talk”, this is just a friendship.  Have a game night, double date (pray before eating), movie (something that might be uplifting to a Christian) and discussion over coffee.  Keep it fun!  Its not all orthodoxy.
3.  Know that priests are not scary unapproachable people.  One of the benefits of my husband spending time in seminary is that we now have access to several newly ordained priests to talk to.  Clearly not everyone has this luxury, but your parish priest or another priest close by can be a treasure.  Check your diocese news source for local events (perhaps not just your parish events) and meet a priest at a prayer day, praying in front of Planned Parenthood, etc.  Or just stop by your parish rectory and introduce yourself, let him know you are interested in learning more.  They are not high pressure people, they are there to answer your questions and help you to discern and pray through things.
4.  Pray in several different ways and see which works the best for you.  Pray the Mass as often as you can.  Go to Adoration and pray quietly before the blessed sacrament (to incorporate a Catholic aspect).  Pray the Rosary and read the passages associated with each of the mysteries to incorporate a bit of Bible study.  Pray in quiet conversation with Christ waiting in line at the grocery store.  Your prayer life can be as structured as much or little as you like.
5.  Remember the Catholic Church is older, and larger - the only Church instituted by Christ.  People remain Catholic and continue to identify to the Catholic faith because there is Truth here.  This analogy has helped me explain some of the differences you pointed out regarding surface happiness.

Christian denominations are like going to a buffet.  You can find a church that has a lot of one thing that you really like (community or bible study).  People are fairly happy at a buffet because they decided what they want, and they went for it.  Gorging yourself on one or two things you like at a buffet is generally not the healthiest way to go, the same is true spiritually.

The Catholic faith is like having the greatest chef in the world prepare for you a complete multiple course tasting menu.  Some of the things you are offered may not be your favorites, but they are part of the WHOLE package and are to be experienced together.  Such a meal is intended to be deeply satisfying, rich in flavors and textures.  A waiter will help explain and walk you through the meal as you experience the combinations of food, or taste each piece individually on the plate.  Clearly this is a dining opportunity of a lifetime, but it takes a little bit more faith and courage to dive in.

ditto Tito. and @emjay…be assured that many will be praying for you on your journey. God Bless you and your family.

“No. Evangelicals are human and need friendship and love like any normal human. Catholics should stop boasting about how lonely our parishes are and start facing it as the problem it is.”

I’m sorry, but this is a soap box. As an introvert who has been at several new parishes, the ones that tried to be “welcoming” by singling out the newcomers at the beginning of mass were the most frightening. I had a stare-down with one priest who kept insisting that “any Newcomers stand up so we can welcome you!” Yes, he knew I was new, everyone who could discern the direction of his gaze knew I was new…but was was NOT going to stand up.

If I want to get involved in a community there has never been a problem meeting people after mass, finding a bulletin with events to go to in it, or, simply by going to daily mass and talking with the fewer people who are there (a much more comfortable situation than the huge crowd of people on Sunday).

Perhaps there are parishes that have no bible studies, no service activities, no welcome/info tables and no one sticking around after mass…but I haven’t seen them. Perhaps I’m wrong for thinking that there might be other introverts out there who don’t like being accosted at their first trial of a parish, but the temporary “loneliness” is a feature for me.

Mr. Shea, yet another well-written piece. 

Emjay, one devotion that you should add (especially if you’ve drawn the connection between lectio divina and the Rosary) is Eucharistic Adoration.  It’s not just quiet time with the Word of God, but with the Word of God made flesh, and which we receive at Mass in the Eucharist.  I’m a revert, and now that I actually know more about what Eucharistic Adoration is, I can tell you that it’s helped me along my faith journey, whereby quiet time with the Blessed Sacrament literally means bringing my needs and my many questions before the Lord.  Understanding the Church as being centered on the Eucharist is key.  Because it shows us at once how these quiet times spent with the Eucharist stresses how Catholic spirituality is both intimate and a lot bigger than ourselves.

Lady Cygnus, I’m inclined to agree with both you and Mr. Shea.  I’m also a bit of an introvert (and have spent some time as a loner), but I also take the point that many Evangelicals raise about our parishes being “cold.”  Thing is, I don’t see the Catholic Church as “cold,” precisely because I do see that the Welcome is Christ himself—the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and not necessarily whether the guy sitting next to me at Mass is super friendly.  Maybe I’m just rather reserved (even though I don’t have much of a problem speaking up).  As for finding people to talk to, well, I talk to them.  After Mass, and always respecting the prayer time of others (for example, I don’t think that wanting to chat people up all friendly like, and in a pretty loud way, before and after Mass is a good thing).

Don’t do it!  Catholic priests are known far and wide as pedophiles.  You don’t hear that about Evangelicals.
Other reasons to stay protestant:
1)  It sounds like your wife isn’t keen.  You go and she doesn’t - divorce.
2)  Catholics pay, pray and obey. The laity do not think, read the bible or practice the faith.  Sunday obligation is rote.
3)  The rosary is for Mary worshipers.  You know Mary is not god, nor is she to be worshiped. RCC thinks otherwise.

I’m slow, Mr. Human; forgive me. Are you a Catholic making a joke, or an anti-Catholic looking to pick a fight? If the former, am I meant to take *any* of your comments seriously? If the latter, um, seriously? Or rather, srsly?

Mr. Human is a fine illustration of the curious affinity between atheists and fundamentalists.  The tropes he offers are all straight from the fundamentalist manual of Ignorant Things to Say About Catholics.  Yet, funnily enough, the email addy he give (for those of us who can see it cuz we write for the Register) is “info@ffrf.org”).  That’s the Freedom from Religion Foundation, dedicated to the gospel of atheism.

Scratch an atheist, find a fundamentalist.  And, apparently, it’s vice versa if some fundamentalists are confronted with a choice between the Catholic faith and atheism.  Talk about cutting of your nose to spite your face.

Not that this silliness is in any danger of making an impression on you, emjay.  I simply note it for the benefit of other readers.

Mr. Human, your response is unfotunately… human…  all too human.  (Sigh)

In the event that Mr. Human is an actual anti-Catholic:

“Catholic priests are known far and wide as pedophiles.  You don’t hear that about Evangelicals.”

You better inform the folks at www.reformation.com and www.stopbaptistpredators.org that their sexual abuse scandals are wholly imaginary…

emjay - you and your wife are in my prayers.

Even if one grants the Catholic Church’s claims about herself, the fact remains that we need fellow Christians around us in order to live the Christian life well.

Under normal circumstances, I entirely agree with you. But every life has a few times of extraordinary circumstances, some of which may force us to choose between Jesus and [insert good and valuable thing here]. It is possible that, for a time, you may have to forgo the support and fellowship of Christians that you are close to or connect with easily. You can trust that, despite your struggles - probably exactly in your struggles - Christ is making your Christian life a good and glorious gemstone in the Living Temple of His Body.
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That said, such a trial (like all the difficulties and dark nights of the Christian life) is temporary. Don’t simply give up on seeking fellowship, either with Catholics or with non-Catholic Christians. Just accept that, as with all good things, it will come in God’s time ... which may not coincide with our own preferences.
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Meanwhile, I’m including you in my prayers. Mark has my email, and I give him permission to share it if you want to talk further.

As another Evangelical convert, I’d like to throw out another option for your prayers (out of the endless variety to choose from):  http://www.chnetwork.org/readguide04.pdf .  If the link doesn’t go through, then search for “Read the Bible and the Catechism in a Year”.  It’s a wonderful way to organize your Lectio Divina.  If you have the opportunity to do it in Eucharistic Adoration, it’s all the more wonderful!

Thanks to everyone* above for the suggestions, kind words, and prayers. All are much appreciated. I’m receiving email notifications when comments are posted, so please do continue to share any thoughts you have on the matter. I’ll be reading and thinking about all of them.

*Certain restrictions may apply.

Prayers for you and your family, emjay! There are a lot of good comments above.
1. One of the glorious things about the Catholic faith is the variety of spiritual and devotional practices that it includes and the freedom that individual Catholics have to form their own devotional lives as the Spirit directs. Probably everyone who explores Catholic spirituality finds practices and styles of spirituality that deeply appeal to them and others that (temporarily or permanently) don’t at all. This is perfectly fine. The important thing is to be serious and steadfast in pursuing the types of prayer that do appeal to you – and, of course, to frequent the sacraments.
2. I notice, and I’m sure you’ve noticed yourself, that there’s an awful lot of “apparent” and “seems” and “impression” in your statement of “how it looks to an Evangelical”. Now, I absolutely believe it’s false that most Catholics’ religion is mere rote observance. And I do think Catholics by and large tend to be reticent about expressing their personal spiritual fervor even when it is very real and their religion means everything to them. But apart from that, one thing to remember is that the Catholic Church is just that, the universal Church and not a self-selecting group of enthusiasts (a sect). So the whole spectrum of people will be there, from the saintly to the semi-lapsed. It’s unfortunate if there are many half-hearted Christians, but it’s a very good thing that even the half-hearted Christians are *there* (hope I’m not making myself too obscure!) Not forgetting, of course, that today’s spiritually sluggish person may be tomorrow’s saint.

May I second Brandon’s comment re: studying the saints? There’s a multiplicity of ways to be holy out there- might as well learn from the masters.
Prayers for you and yours.

Mark, this is really excellent.

@Lady Cygnus—I too do not stand up when a parish asks newcomers and visitors to do so, so they may be greeted.  Like you, I am somewhat introverted, but even more so, part of being Catholic is being part of one Church in all the earth.  If you are a member of the Church, you are not a visitor in any Catholic church in the world; as St. Paul taught us, we are all members of the one Body of Christ.  Certainly that one Church, that one Body is too big and widely dispersed to all meet under one roof, but it’s still one and we’re not visitors regardless of which roof we’re under.

This persons perceptions have led to an unfortunate opinion. “Evangelicals” tend to be strong on “fellowship”- their style would lead me to believe that they are centered much of the time on each other and their “experiences”  Where as the Mass is the “Holy Sacrifice of Calvary”,if you do not understand it you shouldn’t critique it as empty ritual. Our worship is God centered and not conducive to entertainment style music and speeches on scripture, this seems shallow and empty to me,(and I’ve attended different Protestant churches for a time). I know many fervant Catholics who are the kindest and most self-sacrificing Christians I’ve ever met, so your conclusions are unfair. To receive Him in the Eucharist is the deepest way you can “abide in the Lord and Him in you.” My Church is not primarily a “social club”-She is the “Ark of Salvation”-Her roots are in truth. There are many wonderful ministries in our parishes, and we know who Jesus is, we just don’t express this they way you are accustomed to, according to your faith traditions. I sincerely hope you continue on your pilgrimage toward the truth, otherwise why consider leaving your own church if things are so great.GodBless

One comment that might be relevant:  I am a Catholic, and I have found that Catholics don’t care much for “enthusiastic” religion, in all of its varied forms.  We find it rather presumptuous.  Most of us love the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, whether we admit it or not, and we don’t want to screw it up by injecting our petty selves into it. I recommend Ronald Knox’s book “Enthusiasm” to all of you out there.

David:

I highly doubt my reader’s wife is referring to the Mass.  Such concerns tend to focus more on the perceived quietude and coldness of Catholics outside the Mass.  As I say, I don’t think Evangelicals should trust that perception, but the phenomenon of deep loneliness in many parishes is not purely an Evangelical fantasy.  Many Catholics report it too.  Saying, “that’s a feature, not a bug” does nothing to deal with the loneliness, nor with the hemorrhaging numbers of ex-Catholics who result from such loneliness.

You seem to be asking great questions, emjay!  God be with you on your journey.

I’m a recent convert to Catholicism from a Protestant background, so I’ll throw my two cents in. I actually love the somewhat-reserved way that Catholics worship.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with enthusiasm. But before I found the Catholic church, I would often get the sense (especially in myself) that my devotion resembled a flashy advertisement. McDonald’s makes flashy ads.  Gourmet restaurants in Paris don’t; they don’t need to. 
I subconsciously tried to persuade myself that what I had was real, that I was a good Christian, that I understood my beliefs, and so forth.  It sprung from a deep-seated fear that my faith was illegitimate in some way. 
One of the many things I love about the Catholic Church is the calm assurance of it all.  There’s a sense of, “Yes, this is real. Christ is in our midst there on the altar.”
I realize how incredibly rude and judgmental this must sound.  But I know many Protestants with beautiful, deep faith; I’m judging no one’s exuberance but my own.
May you find your answers.  God be with you.

Hello Emjay,

Isn’t it cool how within hours of this post, so many brought out different ideas for your spiritual journey? =)

I’m going to hope on the bandwagon and mention too really cool things to do: Stations of the Cross and Divine Mercy Chaplet. I’m not sure if these will fit your experiences or personality but its amazing spending that quiet time in front of the stations and remembering what Christ has done to fulfill the Father’s Will. Christ really lived out His calling and love for us.

Wiki info on Stations of the Cross:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stations_of_the_Cross
You should be able to find the carvings in every Catholic church along the walls behind or between the pillars. There are prayers for them which you can ask a priest but you can just spend time meditating on them without historical prayers. You can walk with Christ during this quiet time.

Wiki info on Chaplet of Divine Mercy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaplet_of_Divine_Mercy
Many churches have these small 3x4 cards with the prayers that you can carry around and pray. You can spend just quiet time with Jesus then pray it, pray it before studying the bible, pray it during morning commute or anytime else you want to be near Christ.

FFRF…ugh!

One more thing, emjay.  If you haven’t already, you might like to read Scott Hahn’s Rome, Sweet Home, which is not just a conversion story, but the story of a marriage and the initial tension and the grace involved (it was Dr. Hahn who first swam the Tiber, and Mrs. Hahn who held back and did not want to become Catholic [also, some of their friends advised her to leave him].  She later joined her husband and was received into the Catholic Church).  Needless to say, you and your wife are in my prayers.  God bless you both.

Mr. Human, thanks for providing us Catholics with a few cheap laughs.  Namely, because folks such as yourself can’t ever seem to come up with anything new.

Lots of great input, huh?! I am a revert who was away from the Catholic Church for 30 years - most of that time in evangelical & charismatic circles.

Regarding prayer I highly recommend subscribing to the “Magnificat” monthly… and using it as daily guide. It includes morning & evening prayer, daily Mass readings. The meditations & other articles are incredible.

http://www.magnificat.net     I don’t work for them. ;-)

May the Holy Spirit lead into the fullness of God’s will for you & your wife.

Wow, I had the same thoughts when I first converted. Brandon’s advice on the books is excellent. I would recommend any of Saint Francis de Sales’s books. Don’t pay too much attention to how some Catholics act. Just jump in and be the best Catholic YOU can be.

Grateful that the Holy Spirit has guided Mr.Human to this blog, for this is how conversion journeys often begin. My journey to Rome spanned twenty years of solid foundation in the Presbyterian Church (50’s era), a brief visit to the Methodist church of my husband’s family, then thirty-three years as a pre-2003 high-church Episcopalian.
Finally made it safely to Rome in 2005.

In 1971, I was given a book by Emily Gardiner Neal, a journalist who set out to write an article for Life magazine exposing the falsehood and hypocrisy of Christianity, which ultimately resulted in her own conversion. She devoted the remainder of her life to Evangelization, and brought many souls to Christ.
Please God, that Mr. Human will continue to visit these sites, and that God will touch him.

St. Augustine, pray for us.
St. Therese of Lisieux, pray for us.

I’m a Catholic revert.  I didn’t really have a clear understanding of what the Mass all about when I was growing up.  I would have been one of the people in church who looked bored, like I was just going through the motions, that’s because I was.  My problem, at that time, was that I projected my ignorance and boredom onto everybody else in the church.  I just assumed everybody else was like me.  I would have made the same presumptions at an opera or a lecture of physics.  This is boring and I’m not getting anything out of it, so neither could anybody else.  I was the type who believed that unless you were jumping up in down, you weren’t passionate or excited.  So people at a rock concert had passion and those at an opera were all a bunch of poor souls forcing themselves to sit through something they hated to prove they were enlightened or mature.  It never occured to me that some of these people were being moved on a deep level by the storyline and they were quite joyful inside.    God in his goodness has opened my eyes over the years.  I have no doubt that there are quite a few people who just go through the motions at Mass, just as I did in my youth,  but I have since discovered those who understand the Mass can have a very profound spiritual experience.  I know that to be true for myself as well as many others.  I was probably an extreme case with my childhood observations and judgements, but I think there are alot of people out there who judge other’s passion, commitment and love by loud proclamations, eye gleam and excited hand gestures.  I was one of those people.  I am so grateful to the good Lord for opening my eyes and helping me see what was oftentimes right under my nose;  holy people who have a profound and deep spiritual life that I couldn’t even begin to understand. They are the type of people that most people overlook. I overlooked them for years.  Today I don’t worry about what percentage of my church is really passionate for Christ or whose going through the motions and whose sincere.  I’m just grateful that God has given me the grace to see what the Mass is all about and what a gift to me and all humanity.  If an evangelical comes in my church and pities me for being lost and dead inside, I say thank you!  I deserve it!  It takes a little of the sting off me for all the years I lumped everybody without charm,  charisma and flair into the “your spiritually dead inside”  category.

At the risk of sounding disrespectful, which I am truly not trying to do, the question is “Is it Truth I am after, or a feeling”?

It seems you have two choices…join an enthusiastic which does not embrace the full truth, or settle for partial truth, but do it whole heartedly.

If this were any other choice, say for instance whether to eat spam with a group of enthusiastic spam eaters, or eat a porterhouse alone, which would you choose?  One is a meat product and one is actual meat.  Are you interested in the real deal? Or the company?  Either product will fill you up and nourish you, but one is only a shadow of the other.  In the end, it our relationship with God, not each other that matters.  Our relationships with each other, which are of immense importance, are only as real as our relationship with Him however.  It can be summed up nicely by comparing communion in a protestant service and the Eucharist in a Catholic Mass.  For me?  I’ll take truth over companionship every time.  Peace, and no offense intended.

At the risk of sounding disrespectful, which I am truly not trying to do, the question is “Is it Truth I am after, or a feeling”?

It seems you have two choices…join a congregation which embraces the full truth but lacks the outward signs of enthusiasm, or settle for one that teaches a partial truth, but does it whole heartedly.

If this were any other choice, say for instance whether to eat spam with a group of enthusiastic spam eaters, or eat a porterhouse alone, which would you choose?  One is a meat product and one is actual meat.  Are you interested in the real deal? Or the company?  Either product will fill you up and nourish you, but one is only a shadow of the other.  In the end, it our relationship with God, not each other that matters.  Our relationships with each other, which are of immense importance, are only as real as our relationship with Him however.  It can be summed up nicely by comparing communion in a protestant service and the Eucharist in a Catholic Mass.  For me?  I’ll take truth over companionship every time.  Peace, and no offense intended.

One thing I find missing form this list of helpful ideas is the pratice of mental prayer.  Here is a link to an outline aid I made largely taken from a 17th century book called, ‘A Short Method of Mental Prayer’ by Nicholas Ridolfi, OP (Order of Preachers).  This is a method and not the only way to practice mental prayer, but is a very effective place to start.  St. Theresa of Avila says that the practice of mental prayer is so important that those who practice it faithfully are certainly saved and that those who do not are certainly damned.  The Rosary is also ment to be mental prayer but often the preperation and conclusion are missing from this prayer, greatly diminishing it’s effectiveness.  The most important thing to remember is that the purpose of prayer is for the intellect to move the will to love.  As you progress, the Holy Spirit takes over more and more and the role of the intellect decreases.  To embark on the journey of mental prayer is to undertake a life long journey.  I hope this helps you on the journey you have begun.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1z9npbiWE7DhaeT3nq62lGP9Rh7JZaFqM2x3M3SCvJfY/edit?hl=en_US#

I am put off when someone judges someone else’s spirituality or lack of it.  The wife is very judgmental.  You never know what is going on in the interior of a person.  You can judge them to be a bump on a log and they may have the most incredible spiritual life but they’re humble about it and not trying to sell anything.  A convert friend said he was afraid at first to come to the Catholic church, but he was impressed by how real people were—no Sunday game face.  He had realized he had a particular posture, gestures, facial mask, and expressions for Sunday, that wasn’t true for the rest of the week.  He didn’t want to act like a Christian any more.  He wanted to be real.  His words.

I think your “quiet time” with the Lord is perfectly acceptable.  I wouldn’t limit Catholic spirituality solely to one form of prayer or another.  It’s an attitude of seeing Christ in all things at all times, and it takes a life time of practice.  The Benedictines have a saying, “Ora et labora” which means prayer and work.  It’s difficult to be engaged in mental prayer all the time.  Our work, done well and in love of God and neighbor, can be part of our prayer.  By work I mean all of our actions outside of a set prayer time—doing dishes, writing a report, paying bills, helping a neighbor, playing with our kids…

It’s good to know different prayer practices, because one might speak to you at a different time in your life or you may find one that brings your prayer life to a new level.  I blog about Catholic spirituality at www.daysofgraceandstumbling.blogspot.com.  I have a post about different ways to pray the rosary and am currently working on a series on praying the Mass. 

The Catechism has an excellent section on Christian prayer.  It’s section 4 and begins at paragraph 2588.  The Liturgy of the Hours is wonderful, and if you don’t want to get the 4 volume set, you can get the Shorter Form of Christian Prayer, which is LOH in condensed form and especially for the laity.  When I pray Morning Prayer (Lauds), I pause after each psalm and do a sort of Lectio, and pause again at the end for my own “quiet time” with the Lord. 

You might also consider getting a little magazine called “Magnificat”.  It’s a monthly missalette and contains the readings for the Mass each day of the month as well as a short morning, evening, and night prayer similar to the LOH.  There is also a reflection each day from great spiritual writers of the Catholic Church throughout the centuries, short articles about saints, and other articles of interest.

In the end, the best advice is pray as you can, not as you can’t.  And, you can’t judge the effectiveness of the medicine by those who don’t take it.  Lot’s of Catholics are just not aware of the Spiritual heritage and don’t “take the medicine.”  But you look at the ones who have, and WOW!  Those men and women have changed the world.  We should all aspire to be more like them.

Blessings on your journey.

Mark Shea,

why do my comments constantly go into moderation as spam?  Have I done something to get me banned???

I put much effort into a post that was labled spam.  Can I ask why it was not posted?  Does the NC Register use a blogbot to filter?

Continuing thanks to everyone for the thoughts, suggestions, and prayers.

Kentuckyliz, if I may be so bold, allow me to point out that there’s at least a little bit of irony in accusing someone you’ve never met of being “very judgmental” on the grounds that you don’t know what is really going on with that person. In the case of my wife, she has known (as have I) quite a few people who have called themselves “Catholic” and attend Mass regularly, but whose lives otherwise suggest an utter lack of interest in the things of God. Indeed, such folks constitute a very, very significant percentage of the Catholics she and I have known. This is not a case of someone wandering into a Mass, looking around, deciding that the people look bored, and then rejecting Catholicism as a whole. Rather, it is a case of someone encountering multiple Protestant communities filled with people whose lives are oriented around Jesus Christ and noticing that a huge number of the Catholics she knows don’t seem to have any particular concern for who Jesus is, what he taught, or anything of the sort.

As I mentioned in my initial email, this perceived lack of spiritual depth isn’t really an obstacle to me. Here are some reasons why:

1. As Mark (and/or others) pointed out, it’s a big mistake to compare the worst of Catholicism with the best of Evangelicalism and assess their relative merits that way.

2. For my part, I have known a number of deeply pious Catholics. I think it’s obviously false to assert that there is something about the Church that is inherently hostile to personal piety and a love for Jesus.

3. It seems to me that the real issue is this: is the Catholic Church the institution Jesus founded, or not? If it is, then—unless her teachings are so deeply heretical that schism is justified—all Christians ought to be Catholics. Insofar as there are real problems within the Church, those problems should be addressed from within, not used as an excuse for abandoning Christ’s church.

4. There’s an important sociological issue in play here that hasn’t been mentioned yet. Because there are so many different Protestant churches out there (especially in the American south, where I live), and because relatively few people strongly identify with a particular Protestant denomination (especially in our generation; maybe not for our grandparents), like-minded Protestants tend to cluster together. A very liberal Protestant, for example, would not be comfortable attending my church, and would almost cleanly seek out another congregation. Conveniently, there are at least three more liberal Protestant churches within 1-3 miles of mine. Likewise, a Protestant who is merely culturally Christian would probably not stick around at my church, because there’s too much pressure to actually try to follow Jesus.
For Catholics, of course, things don’t work quite like this. Obviously, not all parishes are created equal, and as Mark intimated, one might need to find a parish other than the nearest one in order to find many like-minded believers. But in general, most folks who think of themselves as Catholic will simply attend whichever Catholic church is closest. The lukewarm Catholic doesn’t have as many options as the lukewarm Protestant, and the result is that we end up with a much wider range of religious seriousness in Catholic churches than in Protestant ones. Or so I suspect, anyway.

In short, I guess what I’m saying is, please don’t say unkind things about my wife.  :-)

I came into the Catholic by way of the Anglican church, but I was raised Baptist Fundamentalist. The top reason I converted was the Eucharist, the actual spiritual food that we all long for. Once you find Jesus, the spiritual warmth in your soul will make up for anything lacking with the folks around you. And truthfully, by just resting in the ritual and liturgy, I become transported closer to heaven.  You know the Baptist hymn “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, In the light of His glory and grace.”  This is what the Catholic church in its fullness offers, a chance to come closer through not only a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, but an intimate sacramental relationship with Jesus Christ.  We actually become little tabernacles with Jesus inside of us! The responsibility is awesome but when we receive Him in a spirit of grace, He bonds with us, He remains in us, and that is worth it all.  When you get inside the church, I know you will find like-minded folks who will share your enthusiasm.  And I LOVE the Catholic devotionals.  Might I suggest Magnificat devotional magazine?  Morning prayer, Mass readings, Meditation for the day, and evening prayer.

Blake,

Hear, hear!  That keeps happening to me also.  It’s quite frustrating.  I have no idea why…

Another commenter wrote: “I am put off when someone judges someone else’s spirituality or lack of it. The wife is very judgmental.”

I appreciate that sentiment. I really do. However, in the wife’s defense, if your spouse were considering jumping ship to join another group of people, you would feel to a certain extent *tethered* to that jump, like it or not, and if you’re wise, you had better take a long, hard look at the crew aboard the other craft to evaluate whether you will try to fight the jump, delay it, or join it.

It’s one thing to evaluate another’s spirituality with the sole aim of achieving the fore-ordained outcome of comparing it to my own imagined excellence, thus further inflating my own sense of smug superiority. It’s another to evaluate another’s spirituality because my life depends upon my make the correct decision about my spiritual future. A long, hard look is definitely, definitely in order in the latter case.

Folks:  I have no control over the spam filter.  Sorry!

My husband and I are Catholic converts and we bring with us a deep Christianity from our Evangelical faith but also we gain the richness of the Catholic Faith - so much more from the Eucharist and Adoration to the Liturgy and the History of the Catholic Faith and the Saints.  I don’t think there are enough days left for me to explore all there is to know about the Catholic Faith.  Don’t just explore your local Church (where I admit there are one or two who only want to be in the service for an hour) but explore retreat days say with the Franciscans and Charismatic prayer groups and retreats.  There are many avenues to explore in the Catholic faith and I like both the Charismatic and the Contemplative.  I bring the Holy Spirit with me and I cannot get enough of the Holiness of the Catholic Faith.  You will enjoy so much.  If you want to explore other people’s journeys check out The Coming Home Network and they have programmes on EWTN and You Tube - both you can get on the Internet of other people coming from the Protestant faith to the catholic Faith and people like Dr Scott Hahn and Patrick Madrid.  God Bless your journey.  I came in to the faith first and my husband followed two years after, so it can happen.  Love on the journey Joanna

MK - Our comments have been sucked into a black hole in space and are set to emerge yesterday on the far side of the universe as rational thought.

Re: welcoming—Obviously something has to be done by a parish, because welcoming strangers is one of the corporal acts of mercy.  OTOH, “sacrificing the stranger’s modesty and privacy on the altar of welcome” is not one of the corporal acts of mercy.

You know, it occurs to me that since parishes are always setting up little tables and displays with people manning them, it might be a good plan to have such a table up at every Sunday Mass. You could have little info ackets for people joining the parish, and you could have other info packets or just a little pamphlet, for people just visiting. (You could include info in each about after-Mass donuts or whatever, as well as more meaty info.)

Then, if you saw somebody walking around after Mass with an info packet or a pamphlet, you could say hi, but there’d be no embarrassment or enforcement.

emjay, the issue is truth. Enthusiasm is no substitute for the truth. As an evangelical I ignored scripture and never blessed Mary the mother of our lord and savior. As an evangelical I never received the body and blood of our lord therefore I could not abide in him and he in me. As an evangelical it was easy to believe that how I lived mattered only a little because I was “saved and secure for eternity”. As an evangelical I, and many of my evangelical patients, could never truly feel forgiven for confessed sins from our childhood and young adulthood because we were not seeking forgiveness from those to whom Christ gave the power and authority to forgive our sincerely confessed sins. Christ said we must be willing to give up all - mother, father, brother, sister, child, wealth - and follow him. The issue is: Christ is the way, the truth and the life. The church is the channel of his grace.
Love in CHrist

Enthusiasm is no substitute for truth, but if you’re from a background where truth creates enthusiasm (e.g. Evangelicaldom), it can look a bit odd if the allegedly fuller, purer truth of Catholicism creates something resembling total apathy. (Not that I disagree with your point.)

“If this were any other choice, say for instance whether to eat spam with a group of enthusiastic spam eaters, or eat a porterhouse alone, which would you choose?”

Enthusiastic spam eaters, no contest. Why would anyone go to a restaurant alone?

I don’t think Catholicism creates anything like total apathy, godescalc; you’re entirely broadbrushing it.  And I don’t think “evangelicaldom” creates enthusiasm, either.  What you’re thinking of is “mania,” a condition promoted by the sacramental use of coffee and donuts.

I love Catholic Churches. They all have the presence of God in them. I have never felt that same reverence or holiness in Evangelical churches or any other denomination for that matter.

Matt B, I object to that remark. I grew up in a highly manic church which had little to no need of donuts and coffee to achieve that state. Apathy, conceded: that’s how it looked to me when younger; now I’m older and actually Catholic, I understand it’s not quite the case.

As Curley said to Moe: “Hey, I resemble that remark!”

To my mind the Catholic - Protestant antipathy is really quite unfortunate, and more a matter of our limitations than God’s predilictions.  I just find it amusing and ironic how many evangelicals talk about God as if they discovered him.  But I guess “unless you come to me as a little child…”

Emjay wrote:  In the case of my wife, she has known (as have I) quite a few people who have called themselves “Catholic” and attend Mass regularly, but whose lives otherwise suggest an utter lack of interest in the things of God. Indeed, such folks constitute a very, very significant percentage of the Catholics she and I have known.

I’m a cradle Catholic and a “revert”, and let me say that I am astounded that some of the Catholic commenters here have indicated that your observation is inaccurate.  I grew up in a Catholic family and went to Catholic schools much of my life.  I graduated a Catholic high school in 1982, and while most of my classmates didn’t attend Mass after high school, a significant minority did.  However, among all my classmates, I did not know a single one who would pray before an important life decision.  Should I quit my job?  Should I marry this woman?  Should I be drinking so much coffee?  I never knew anyone—family member or friend—who thought that these were questions that one could take to God in prayer.  The only people who did that were Evangelicals.  Similarly, I didn’t know any Catholics who intended to wait until marriage to have sex.  There were a very, very few who sometimes read religious books, but I don’t remember this ever being done in a “lectio divina” spirit—rather, these people were the same people who read lots of books.  In other words, they were reading the Bible because they were big readers, not because they were Catholic.

This all changed in my mid-thirties, when I joined a Catholic parish that had a vibrant life, with young adults and older adults both being very active and devoted to their faith.  So I agree with Mark’s suggestion that you may need to parish-shop to find such a place.

A lot of the perception of Catholics as apathetic comes from their refusal to wear their faith on their sleeve.  More Catholics are living the faith than there are talking about it.  My Dad is a man who is retiscent to talk about “things religious” with anybody but his closest family and friends.  But to call him apathetic or uninvolved would be the most pathetic of mistakes.  Indeed, I know no one more deeply faithful and committed.  The converse is also true.  What sounds like a duck is often just a quacker.  I’m reminded of all the bold, outspoken “contraceptive” christians.  “I really love Jesus!!! - (but don’t ask me to give up my contraception).”  It’s like the second brother from the parable, or “they preach, but they do not practice what they preach.”

Not a fair appraisal of Protestants there - some of them do forego contraception, and quite a few would if they believed it was actually what Jesus wanted. I don’t think too many contraception-using Evangelicals are actually being disobedient. (...well, everybody’s disobedient about something somewhere, Original Sin and all that. But not on this specific issue.)

Re: refusal to wear one’s faith on one’s sleeve - I don’t want to diss the reticent (especially being one myself), and not everyone is called to witness in the same manner; but if the vast majority of Catholics are keeping the Faith like a state secret, this doesn’t quite seem like what Jesus had in mind when he talked about not lighting a lamp and putting it under a bushel.

The most effective witness is by deeds, not words.  I’ve met many a voluble christian whose deeds, including the obligatory 1.6 progeny, do not compare to their brave words.  God intended lay people to live out their vocation principally within the 4-walls of family life.  To earn a living despite the trials that entails.  To stay married despite myraid temptations.  To pass along the faith.  The problem with this model is that so many erstwhile faithful catholic families have devovled from it into a uniquely american (protestant) vision of faith that sounds brave (big self-help books, big christain music, mega-houses of worship, rock star preachers) but lives little.  If our country is going down the toilet, protestants and protestantized catholics deserve as much of the credit as atheistic liberals.  BTW, I don’t absolve myself in this regard.

“Deeds, not words” - true, sometimes (someone needs to do the street preaching, though that’s not everyone’s calling); although if you’re being an effective witness at all, that’s wearing your faith on your sleeve another way. I guess we understand “wearing X on your sleeve” differently.

I’m not from your country, but I suspect that what you describe isn’t so much a “protestant” thing as an “american” thing. Protestantism elsewhere in the world doesn’t produce the self-help/megachurch/rockstar-preacher/prosperity-gospel style, except under american influence (American churches being rich and influential, they do a lot to spread the Gospel, and also their own pathologies, around the world). The self-help-book mentality in particular is not something you can blame on the Prods, just because it infected them before the Catholics. (Re: “christian music” being a bad influence - do you mean the traditionalist “Evangelical worship music is bad and wrong and Catholics shouldn’t use it” line, or something else?)

I tend to agree with godescalc because the truncation and bare-bones version of Christianity that seems prevalent in some Christian groups are really American in culture. Rugged individualism, rags to riches, white picket fence driven culture. That combined with the historical anti-colonism and defiance of authority makes for a mentality where if ‘I don’t like what’s being said or taught I can go and make my own group’. Now add in the heretical views of the bible and of the Bride of Christ from the 16th century and that does seem to paint a picture of 30,000+ groups with different ideas about the same words from the same text spoken by the same God.

godescalc, I’m sorry if I’m being parochial, but I’m assuming (maybe incorrectly), the cultural context to be my own.  I have nothing against using scripture in political, cultural or any kind of context.  I read scripture, I love scripture.  I enjoy “christian music” and use it in a worship context - though I doubt most of it is appropriate for use at Mass.  I think that christian witness should not be restricted to the secrecy of one’s own home, but that evangelizing is an appropriate and necessary response of christian charity.  I have indeed been something of a street evangelizer myself.  What, then, is the rub against protestantism?

Faith is good as a feeling, but there’s a content element as well: what exactly do you believe in?  Most christians have the fundamentals, and more power to them.  They go pretty far with what they’ve got.  This is also why it’s difficult or unhelpful to criticize most christians - they can be pretty good catholics at times.

But at the end of the day, it’s not about what I think catholicism is.  It’s what Jesus says catholicism is.  Everybody’s going to turn off the road if left to their own devices (thoughts, opinions, ideas, interpretations).  If I gave myself the keys to the kingdom, either everyone would get in, or nobody.  Only God is capable, only God is the judge.  I fool myself to believe in “sola scriputura” or in any other non-authoritative teaching, if I am a protestant - and it shows.

The contraception debate is just another example of this general principle.  Of course, the overwhelmingly “human” thing to do is go ahead and strap on.  That’s why 99% of “christianity” has signed on to this “interpretation.”  But “your ways are not my ways.”  (Besides, the human animal is disinclined to rise up from the mire, if given a pretense to wallow in it.)  The consequences of this widespread apostacy are clear to anyone who possesses vision.  Yet here are our brethren protestants - not only pharisees, but philistines: proslytizing pigginess.

Churchy music is important.  But not as important apparently as putting lipstick on the pigs.

Emjay, God Bless you on our journey.

I believe a previous poster mentioned Eucharistic Adoration - very Powerful. And, the Rosary, as it is like a rose presented to Our Blessed Mother, which she uses to do great good, especially for the Holy Souls and the unborn. And, in addition to the Holy Rosary, here is another powerful Devotion: The Divine Chaplet of Mercy.

Learn it and try to say it sincerely daily; during the 3:00 hour, if possible. Our Blessed Lord will draw you closer to Him, right down the path to His Passion, to the Foot of the Cross. He will fill your soul with His Love and Mercy, and will draw you down the Path of Sorrows to His Passion: The Mass, and Calvary continued. And, your soul will be filled with that which may be missing in your life, and it will overflow with His Goodness and Mercy - as He is never outdone in His Generosity.

God Bless.

http://thedivinemercy.org/mercysunday/christswords.php

Dear Emjay,

Tried to type in some inspiring words about The Divine Mercy Chaplet—but the spam editor wont let me do so. Look into the Divine Chaplet of Mercy, both the history of it, and the power of it. It will lead you to the foot of Our Lord’s Cross. God Bless.

Don’t judge a church by how warm and fuzzy it feels but by its doctrines.

Suggest you delve into CENTERING PRAYER. Basil Pennington OSB is a good teacher, deepens your deep-down faith and would I suggest move you from the quiet of your past to a conviction to find Jesus the Christ and then “hear”  Him in the vulnerable, and “see”  HIM in the vulnerable. Prayers for your journey.