Outnumbered: Raising 13 Kids With Humor and Prayer

by Mary Ann Kuharski

Servant Books, 2006

198 pages, $13.99

To order: (800) 488-0488

AmericanCatholic.org

Summertime is the perfect time to pick up Outnumbered, a great beach read about a real-life mom and dad who took many of their parenting cues from the Blessed Mother and her son. The book is a breeze, yet it also works as a wry rejoinder to the feminist movement’s portrayal of stay-at-home moms as lagging behind the times.

Author Mary Ann Kuharski gives us a glimpse of everyday life in a large but modest Minnesota home. We learn what it took to parent 13 children — seven by “tummy” (birth) and six more by “airplane” (adoption). Along the way we pick up practical tips on such things as taking toddlers to Mass and we kick back with the humorous antics of, for example, her thrifty husband — whom she dubs “the coupon king.”

It’s easy to read between the lines that Kuharski’s sense of humor, combined with her reliance on heavenly help, was a major boon to her extra-big, blended family.

The Kuharski household may have been utterly unique in its particulars, but, in telling its story, Mom Mary Ann brings to light universal principles that apply to all Catholic families.

First — and quite simply — family life is a blessing. Kuharski urges the reader to take the time to treasure it. All the bickering teens and the dirty diapers were not too high a price to pay for the gift of time spent with her kids. Job opportunities will always be there, but children will only be young once.

“Love really is a four letter word spelled t-i-m-e,” she writes. “I love you enough to give you my time. A sense of bonding and belonging is guaranteed only when a child receives quantity time and not the quality time that some espouse.”

Second, parents can’t do it alone. They must lean on God daily. With so much activity in the large Kuharski household, they had their fair share of trying times and messy moments. Through it all — including a brain tumor that struck her husband — she clung to Christ through hope and prayer.

“Here’s one mom who is a firm believer in spontaneous prayer,” she writes, “though I must confess that my initial reactions are not always prayerful.”

Finally, going against the grain of a materialistic and selfish society is not easy. Kuharski is the first to admit that not everyone is called to parent a large family. She also is the first to confess that she was not worried about being the most popular parent on the block.

In fact, she took pride in being “old-fashioned.” Rules such as no TVs in her children’s bedrooms, no bikinis for her teenage girls and mandatory Sunday dinner at home didn’t always sit well with her kids. Unflinching, she courageously answered the Church’s call to lead her kids away from temptation and point them toward heaven.

In a day and age where marriage and the family are under constant attack — all the way to being redefined into virtual meaninglessness — Outnumbered is a refreshing affirmation that family life is still sacred. The Kuharski family’s struggles and stories are an inspiration for those families who feel out of touch with the ideals and values of mainstream culture.

I would have gladly traded some of the practical tips for more of Kuharski’s colorful anecdotes and engaging adventures. But now I’m nitpicking; this book is a delight. Bring it to the beach, bed, bath and beyond.

Eddie O’Neill writes from

Green Bay, Wisconsin.