Deena Burnett was not unprepared for her husband’s death.

Tom Burnett helped orchestrate the passenger revolt aboard United Airlines flight 93 on Sept. 11, 2001, a flight that ended in a crash in a field in Pennsylvania.

A mother of three girls, Deena burnett recently remarried. She has become one of the leading voices for those who lost loved ones in the terrorist attack five years ago. And she tells Tom Burnett’s story in a new book, Fighting Back: Living Life Beyond Ourselves, which is being distributed through Ignatius Press.

Burnett spoke with Register senior writer Tim Drake from her home in Little Rock, Ark.

It’s been five years since the loss of your husband. How are you doing?

I think we’re doing really well. We’ve come a long way in five years. I can only attribute how far we’ve come to God’s grace and the many prayers that have been lifted up for us. Five years ago, I couldn’t have imagined that we could have as much joy in our life as we have now. God has given us our joy back.

How did you first meet Tom?

We met through a friend while living in Atlanta. My roommate introduced us. I was one of 15 newly trained flight attendants with Delta Airlines. We had just gotten out of training and went out to happy hour to celebrate.

Tom was staying at a hotel next door. He had started a new job and was looking for an apartment. When I walked into the restaurant, my roommate introduced him to me. She invited him to go to dinner with us. At the end of the dinner, she gave him all 15 flight attendants’ phone numbers, even though he didn’t ask for it.

A week later he invited us both to go to dinner. My roommate couldn’t go, so I met him at Applebee’s for dinner. Dinner only took 35 minutes, but we sat there for six hours talking and closed the place down. He called a few weeks later to ask me out. That’s when I knew it was a date. We were married at St. Mary’s Catholic Church in McGehee, Ark., in April 1992.

You didn’t grow up Catholic, did you?

No, I was Baptist. I converted after I married Tom, in April 1995, just before I found out that I was expecting. I felt that faith was something that we should share as a family and didn’t want to be of a different faith from my children. It was more important to Tom to remain Catholic than it was for me to remain Baptist. I’ve been very satisfied. I think being Catholic is a beautiful way to worship God.

Did your Catholic faith help you to deal with the tragedy?

One of the things that I experienced in converting was learning that God is a God of love and compassion. I believe that knowing that he is compassionate prevented me from being angry at God for what happened. I think, had I not had my Catholic faith, I would have experienced questions about why Sept. 11 occurred. So many people have asked whether I lost my faith or experienced doubt in my faith. I have not, and I think that’s because of my Catholic faith. Converting gave me a different perspective.

You fought to listen to the tapes from the cockpit. Did you learn anything additional about Tom or his role from listening to the tapes?

He had told me on the telephone that he was putting a plan together to take back the airplane. In the months that followed, the media gave credit to someone else on the plane. Listening to the cockpit voice recorder, I could hear Tom’s voice and the actions that he took. It reaffirmed what Tom had told me he was going to do, and it gave me a sense of peace that he had acted courageously and without fear. Hearing the cockpit recordings gave me additional insight into what Tom’s role was.

I understand that Tom had some foresight about Sept. 11. Can you tell me what Tom had revealed to you prior to that?

Tom came to me one day, about a year before Sept. 11. He asked, “Have you wondered why I haven’t been coming home to lunch lately? I’ve been going to daily Mass.”

This was unusual because Tom usually never spoke very openly about his faith. He never sought out opportunities to talk about it, so my first response was, “Why?”

He said that he felt like God was trying to tell him something, but he didn’t know what it was. He said that he felt that if he could spend more time in church, sitting in God’s presence, and more time in prayer, perhaps he could figure it out.

Because this was such an odd conversation to have with Tom, I took him very, very seriously. I could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. He seemed baffled.

I asked him if he had any idea what God’s message to him might be.

He said, “All I know is that it’s going to impact a great number of people and it has something to do with the White House.”

We stood there brainstorming. I thought it meant that God wanted him to run for office. He said, “No, I don’t think that’s it.” That was the end of the conversation and we never talked about it after that.

He traveled extensively, but when he was home he would come home for lunch. His office was less than 10 minutes away. While he had gone to daily Mass off and on before that, he started attending daily Mass consistently at that point.

Are you able to look at the events of Sept. 11 and say that they happened for a reason?

I can. I’ve said that many times. I believed this right away, that this was part of God’s plan and that it went far beyond ourselves. It was something far greater than Tom or me or anything we could do. Perhaps it is part of God’s plan for bringing our nation back to the level of spirituality we needed to go forward. Perhaps it was part of God’s plan for restoring our nation to the principles we were founded upon — principles of morality.

Both a television program and motion picture have been made about the actions taken aboard United 93. Did you watch either of them, and did you feel that the portrayals were fair?

I watched them all. I think the motion picture United 93 did a very good job of portraying all of the characters. The family members have been pleased with how their loved ones were portrayed. The actor who portrayed Tom was able to portray his authoritative nature in an accurate manner. I understand that his role was the most difficult to cast for that reason.

One of the things that I wasn’t sure why they did what they did was that they didn’t use the actual conversations from the transcripts that existed. They made up their own. I thought that was interesting. If you know what was said, why not use that? They did capture the essence of the conversations. I don’t think it had much of an overall impact on the accuracy of the movie.

Do your children have a sense of their father as a hero?

Many of my children’s memories of their father aren’t as vivid as I would like them to be. Most of them are based on stories, photographs and videos trying to spur their memories. So, to be able to tell them the legacy that Tom left for our family, they take a great sense of pride in knowing that their father was a hero. With that comes an enormous responsibility to continue what he started. I tell them that people are going to be looking to them to make a difference in the lives of others because their father did.

They not only understand what he did, but they understand that he lived a life of integrity and faith, and that they have a responsibility to carry that through future generations of our family. Each of us has that responsibility.

I understand that you also had the feeling that Tom might die young?

Not long after our third child was born, I was holding her when my mom came into the room. “I guess you’ll have to have a fourth child, so Tom can have a son,” my mother said.

I don’t know why I said it, but for some reason, I said, “God isn’t going to give us a son.”

My mom asked why.

“God knows Tom won’t be here to raise his children, and I can’t raise Tom’s son alone,” I said.

“What are you talking about?” my mother asked.

I told her that I always had a feeling that Tom would be in a plane crash. That frightened her and my mom didn’t ask any more questions. I wasn’t thinking about what I said. I just had an incredible sense of peace.

When my mother walked through the door, after the plane had crashed, she asked, “Do you remember what you said to me when Anna was born?”

It was God’s grace preparing both of us for what would happen. I really believe those were grace-filled moments in which He was preparing us.

Did you write the book Fighting Back for your children?

I did. It began as a story for my children, chronicling Tom’s life and what he did on Sept. 11. It evolved into something that will benefit anyone who reads it and will hopefully inspire them to make a difference.

Tell me about the Tom Burnett Foundation.

The foundation provides a curriculum for eighth-grade students that we provide free to schools. It complements their existing social studies program with lessons about self-accountability, responsibility and Sept. 11. It includes a pledge children can make to become better citizens. It focuses on community service and the difference that they can make as children.

What do you miss most about Tom?

First, it would have to be his sense of humor. He had the ability to make me laugh in every and any situation. Second would be being able to ask him questions and gain his perspective on national and global issues. He had the ability to take information and analyze it in a way that I’ve never seen anyone else do. He could always see the things that no one else could see, whether in personal or political situations. He had a perspective that went far beyond his 38 years. He had a maturity of intellect that exceeded his age. He was a wise soul. I miss being able to say, “What do you think about that?”

Tim Drake is based in St. Joseph, Minnesota.