It is with great joy that I announce my conversion to that most ancient and mystical of religions: the Faith of the Jedi Warrior.
Many of you will ask me: “Mark, why? We thought you were a serious Catholic!”
All I can say is, it just feels right for me, and I like the Jedi ethos which teaches us all to trust our feelings. Because, after all, if you can’t trust your feelings, what *can* you trust?
Others ask, “But isn’t this just from a movie? Didn’t George Lucas just make it all up?”
To them I say, “Name one religion somebody didn’t just make up!” Ha! Got you there, didn’t I? You don’t even know how to answer, do you? That proves the Force is with me.
You see, it’s that kind of quick thinking theology that I most admire about the Jedi faith. That and being able to lift an entire spacecraft out of a swamp using only my brain. Also, being able to have a powerful influence on weak-minded storm troopers is useful.
You may ask when I’m going to be able to do that spacecraft-lifting thing. I reply that I will do it when I am ready and not before. These things take time, and I am only a young apprentice. But stay with me and you will see great things.
I’ve had a great run as a Catholic, and I appreciate all your support, Gentle Register Readers. But from here on in it’s Jedi for me!
So let me say to one and all, with all the sincerity this most special Day of Days deserves: “May the Force be with You!”
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The Force is strong in this one.
Haha! You almost got me there, but the fact that you didn’t mention anything about lightsabers gave you away. Better luck next time!
And a happy April fools to you, too!
Rotflol !!!!!
May the Farce be with you, Always!
I find your lack of faith… disturbing.
The Force be with you. And also with you.
Coming soon:
The Force be with you. And with your spirit.
This is not the Dark Lord you are looking for.
As one of the weak-minded storm troopers, I am totally against this idea!
As an occasional reader dragged here by Frank Weathers, I must say…
There is no try. Only do. And you did.
Come to the Dark Side,
we have cookies!
Faithful Catholics, what more evidence do we need that George Lucas is the anti-Christ. Consider—he released six Star Wars movies. But not in order—look at the perversity: he released the last three first and the first three last. Isn’t that just what you would expect of the evil one, mocking the statement of our Lord that the first would be last and the last would be first. And both sets of three were released at 3-year intervals. Big hint there! What does 3 sixes mean? Seriously people, open your eyes before more of our otherwise intelligent brethren succumb to this deception.
Well, jumpin’ Jedi! You’ve convinced me. I’ll follow you. Can I get a pink light saber? ;)
What joyous news, Mark!! I am looking forward to receiving instruction on these skills. While I have no need to lift a spaceship from a swamp, I’d love some help in convincing my children to always obey me. As that is a Jedi mind-trick worth learning. Or maybe the Force isn’t even strong enough for that?! Oh, no! I’ve become a doubter of the Force, I am forever condemned….....
Too old. Yes, too old to begin the training.
Impressive! Most impressive. But you are not a Jedi yet.
One of those rare occasions where your readers’ responses were even more entertaining than your own post. Meaning no offense, young Mark. I’m still laughing. (Well, alright, chuckling, but in my world, that’s downright guffawing.)
You’ve taken your first step into a larger world.
The Jedi ethos teaches us to trust our feelings? Are you sure? Last time I checked it taught emotional detachment since fear, desire and hate tend to lead one straight down the path to the dark-side. Maybe you’ve stumbled across some breakaway sect I’ve never heard of.
Barbara - that all changed with the 2nd Coruscant Council.
Oh not “Jediestants” those are the stubborn ones !!!
Mark, you know you’ll only end up becoming a Sith so that you can be a truly brooding dark lord! (or is it Darth lord?)
I knew it—you’ve finally swum the space-time continuum. My only question now is, when do you get that ugly little pony tail?
I´m looking forward to your first liturgical dance as a Jedi!
WITH lightsaber!
Shalom
Hermann
Are there Jeduits?
I assume you will be received into the Jedi faith by Archbishop George Lucas? :-)
It is as I have foreseen.
Not cool. In England, the Jedi Faith is a government recognized religion. To make light of another faith is pretty inconsiderate.
“Not cool. In England, the Jedi Faith is a government recognized religion. To make light of another faith is pretty inconsiderate.”
I don’t know whether I should just laugh, or whether I should laugh really hard. I picked the latter.
Great article, followed by one of the best comment threads I’ve ever read!
@don’t care if you’re unamused
Hey buddy, four words for you.
Happy (belated) April Fools!
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