Lovely post. You know, when my husband was out of work everyone felt sorry for us, but we were, in a very much onlybythegraceofGod, happy. When he was once again gainfully employed it was much harder to tell the kids no to seemingly reasonable requests. But as you know, when you have a big family, sometimes poverty comes in the form of time rather than money. Not everyone can do their activity of choice, including mom and dad. So, sorry kid, I can’t let you have drum lessons. THANKS POVERTY!

Along with making due with slightly used clothes is a penchant to saving clothes for the next child.  With the flux of fashion and my bins of clothes saved over the years (along with a large family) my younger girls are happy to see that what was “in” 10 years ago w/ big sister is “in” again for them!  Thanks poverty!

Thanks to poverty I was unable to grow to love the variety of things that I was marginally interested in as a child and teen, including skiing, photography, swimming, violin, dance, fashion, oh yeah, a college education ...the list could go on. Like your children I did spend my time reading, using my imagination and joining my siblings and other kids in the neighborhood in free fun of our own making.

I give a great deal of credit to our lack of funds that I am now able to, and find tremendous satisfaction in, service to Our Lord by volunteering, continuing self-guided Catholic studies, attending Mass most days and Adoration with regularity. If I had developed the “habit” of my earlier interests I would surely be spending my time and money on those activities and my relationship with Christ would be suffering. THANKS POVERTY!

In the spirit of helping others, I will gladly accept any donations from others in order to help them experience the blessings of poverty ;-D

p.s.  That was written in a joking manner, not a ‘Why don’t you pay me hundreds of dollars to take care of your pets after you get raptured’ sort of way :-)

The wife of the deacon at my parish told me one day: “We are always happiest when we’re poor.” Hmmm.

My philosophy:  Money doesn’t make you happy, but not having enough can sure make you sad.  Though “enough” is subjective, of course…

You are right, there is something about having just enough to live on that makes your spirit sturdy (as long as you view it as a discipline, that is). I wish the health-n-wealth churches could understand this. My in-laws are caught up in that movement and I know they see our low income status as a lack of faith. Even as their marriages fall apart and they sink into debt they tell us “Don’t worry, someday God will bless you with a vacation to Mexico too.” Ick.

All I want is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy. ;-)

Some people spend a lot of money on seminars about “voluntary simplicity,” but there’s definitely something to be said for the involuntary kind! It keeps you focused on what’s really important, and as you said, it makes you appreciate the treats and privileges SO much more.

lol! This makes me grateful to be slightly less poor!

“Those who want to be rich are falling into temptation and into a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires, which plunge them into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is the root of all evils.
  1 Timothy 6:9.10

We create an artificial poverty by using any extra money to pay down student loans/give to charity/save in an account we don’t look at much. We’re simply happier when there is virtually no spending money.

It is SO true that this makes small splurges feel major. We don’t buy junk food almost ever, so when I buy my husband a bag of these nasty spicy chips he likes, he lights up. Because I can’t just get foo-foo coffee whenever I want, it makes an excellent bribe to make myself tackle something I’m not crazy about….Self, you can have a coffee, as long as you add 2500 words or more to your book. It’s like hiring a babysitter for myself for a couple of bucks. :)

See my site at: lettersto.us

It is easier to be the beggars we need to be when we are poor.  Much easier to see our true need…reliance on God.  We cannot and do not ever provide what we truly need for ourselves and it really is easier to see that when we have less.  Blessed are the poor in spirit, theirs is the kingdon of God.

Our real poverty in America is we live to gain money rather than live to enjoy our lives and give God glory. And we’re proud of our worship of the gain of money. In our system someone must be oppressed by the oppressor, a victim and a victimizer. No one wins albeit one loses in better comfort like the rich, greedy victimizer of Lazarus in Jesus’ parable. Living a “simple” life appears to look like poverty (and I think that is what is described here in Simcha Fischer’s blog) but it is nothing like true gut-wrenching and spirit-grinding material poverty where one not only has nothing but little means to acquire enough to survive upon. But there is the grinding poverty of spirit that many here in the good old USA find themselves with the 2 cars and all the bells and whistles and living empty lives filled with androids and Lady Gaga. What Tevye could never understand is true riches is having all that you need without taking another’s daily bread from him. Tevye could never understand that true wealth is the beauty of nature and the freedom, health, and time to enjoy it. That’s why at the end of Fiddler the family packs up and moves their lives into a new life or real prosperity. May these economic hard times bring new and simpler blessings to US citizens so that we move away from conspicuous consumption to truly ensuring that Lazarus too is seated at the banquet table.

I have always been thankful for the different levels of poverty in which I have lived. Mainly because of the difference in character it made in my children. They are thankful for what they do have, and see so many of their friends that are drowning in stuff who have very spoiled, unpleasant attitudes. As I am getting a little older, I wouldn’t want the same amount of hardship, but it is nice to not feel oneself a slave to material things.

Ah yes, the humility only gained by a bit of humiliation and having to be at another’s mercy. But then we are always at the mercy of another… I know I just forget.

Great reminder for me this week!  Thanks!

Thanks, Simcha. This came at just the right time. We bought a short-sale house a few months ago, discovered that we immediately needed to plunk more cash into it to make it livable. Then, we found out we were expecting a little one (our first).  The house continues to suck more and more money out of our bank account and we haven’t even moved in yet (thus doubling the monthly bills).  My husband is possibly facing a salary reduction in a month for no good reason.  And the money just keeps slipping away.  I remember that I had once prayed (sincerely) for God to help me stop basing my security in our finances. “Knock and the door will be opened to you.”  Okay, Lord, but I meant “spirit of poverty…” not REAL poverty! But after reading your post, I doesn’t seem quite as bad anymore. Thanks, Simcha (and poverty?)!

Okay, I am laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes, AGAIN.  Thank you, Simcha!  I needed that today, especially given that I was just last evening thinking with dread of our upcoming car inspection, wondering whether it will pass, and what on earth we’ll give up in order to make it road-worthy if it doesn’t.  So, a little levity on this topic is very timely indeed.  :)

Great article! Really made my day reading this. I love babs “drum lesson” comment. And Dennis jokes were “right on”! Sam, though, does have a point. Those with little money are often very stressed, not to mention overworked.  Right now my husband and I are uncertain how we will pay for dental work (braces) for our older children. They are in great need of them but we have no idea how we will get the money. We have dental insurance but finding someone who takes it is not easy. If they do take our insurance, they want the money upfront (and let insurance give it back later).

Hello Simcha!
Yup, our income is so low that we qualify for almost all the programs.  It will never get any better, due to the field my husband is in, which is due to a series of unfortunate events (or fortunate, actually, as he was a Protestant pastor and now we’re Catholic!).  We figure that our state’s medical help allows us to have lots of Catholic babies ~ 6 so far!  Certainly keeps things simple.  Thanks, as always, for writing.

Also from Fiddler on the Roof:
“Money is the world’s curse.”
“Then may The LORD smite me with it.  AND MAY I NEVER RECOVER!”

And poor churches can’t “wreck-o-vate”!

Golly, I needed this today! We got disinvited from a “rich relations” event because we’re poor. After the tiny commie who lives deep down inside stopped shouting about the rights of the proletariat, I settled down and remembered that my little family actually loves each other and we’re happy despite unemployment and student loan debt. More than can be said for our rich relations.

Very cute, so I hate to remind you that it is entirely possible to be really hungry, ragged, and homeless in America.  My childhood was spent in thrift shop clothing, and shoes shaped by someone else’s feet, often right down to feeling the cement through the hole in the sole.  The rent and utilities were covered by all of us sharing the building superintendent work for “free” rent.  And when the groceries frequently depended on my mother not just house-cleaning, but getting paid for it, we lived on black tea and much-more-than-one-day-old bread.

What we had for free was the ever-blessed New York Public Library!  We took the shopping cart there every week.  My reading was in a city park, or the backyard of the apartment house, but I learned everything from opera to religion to crocheting from the library books!  That was the blessing of poverty.

Right-o, from my email I now see that when I said “We never go hungry, we have a roof over our heads” etc. some people took it to mean “we Americans.”  I didn’t—I meant “we Fishers.”  I guess I’ll go ahead and edit the post to prevent further confusion.

And we can blissfully ignore all those commercials urging on us the importance, nay, the absolute necessity, of investing in gold, or real estate, or books that tell us the very BEST way to invest our money so that we can retire as millionaires. I really do know people who stay up at night worrying how to make financial decisions that will never be issues for me. Thanks, Poverty!

@Daria - Right!  When you hear that stentorian voice demanding, “Is your money working as hard for you as it possibly could?” you can look at the bottle of Bud in your hand and say with certainty, “Yes.  Yes, it is.”

My husband and I both grew up very poor.  For me, that means I just don’t get so worried about being worried about money all the time.  For him, that means a kind of crushing dispirited attitude about being behind in every way, all the time. 

For me, it is being spared the burden of having to plan family vacations (ugh) and for him it means failure, failure, always the sense of failure and never having a moment to breathe.  It’s not just the poverty, it’s what it means to you.

It’s the age-old truth: mo’ money, mo’ problems.

Apparently, we grew up pretty “poor” by most standards, especially when in a leap of faith, my father quit the job that cut so much into his time with us.  I was blessed with oblivious youth, so it never really bothered me—I had the clothes, food, shelter and all the fun a kid could ask for!  We didn’t watch television (occasional rented movies with the whole family was a treat), we didn’t have fancy computers or Game Boy or anything like that.  Instead, we read books and played outside for hours on end, trekking around the neighbor and exploring the woods.  It was a wonderful way to spend childhood, and if I am ever blessed with children, may I curse them with the same! :)

Allison (ex-Protestant minister’s wife- now Catholic)- I encourage your husband to look into chaplaincy (either hospital or prison) if he already has a Master’s degree. email me at remnantofremnant@gmail.com for info- it is a good paying (high stress) job

This article serves as a good reminder to me that there actually are some good things about growing up poor (by American standards).    My husband and I both tend to remember the cardboard in the hole-y soles of our shoes and the bad teeth and the lack of opportunity to explore our God given talents and the stress, oh the stress of being poor!   

I remember when my widowed mother in law died and her piddly estate needed to be split equally amongst her ten adult children, there was no arguing over the money, there wasn’t any.  Meanwhile my neighbor lost her MIL at the same time and the woman’s two sons stopped speaking to each other over the division of her assets.    I remember at that time saying these exact words:  Sometimes it’s a blessing to be poor.

You know, my mom IS an old lady with narcolepsy.

In the indignant words of Tevye, referring to his indigent daughter and-son in-law: “They’re so happy, they don’t know how miserable they are!!”

Simcha! Poverty means God has already removed from my path dozens of obstacles on the way to our “retirement estate”...HEAVEN. When you are thousands of dollars in student loan debt that will take a lifetime to pay off and yet have decided to be a one income family and homeschool your children it does not garner admiration from many circles. However, at age 55+(and still paying that debt) we have had A WONDERFUL LIFE! Never let the world tell you what you are missing…when you look back you will see God has given you more than you ever dreamed. And my children are the first ones to echo these thoughts. Do not be afraid!Thank you for your wise and wonderful post.

Growing up I never realized how poor we were.  We had no car, “because my grandfather was too old to drive”, no TV, lots of trips to the library.  In spite of everything, my grandmother kept a roof over my head, sent me to Catholic schools.  She made “poor man’s” stews out of potatoes and onions, and many dishes that I found so delicious that I begged her to make them.  Little did I realize then, that we couldn’t afford meat.  Life now for my husband & I is better, but we struggle.  We’ll never have that second home, expensive car,  we’re content to drive the cheapest cars on the market.
I do regret though, not being able to send my kids to “Clown School”.  Oops, they turned into fine clowns anyway.
Love readig your articles.

I often think about how relative the feeling of poverty/wealth is.  We live is an affluent suburb of Chicago.  Our household income is close to $200K - and by every standard that is a lot of money.  We have six kids, 5 of whom attend the parish school. In our school most of the families have two, maybe three, kids and have household incomes closer to $300K or more! so I am often “feeling” like we’re lacking something.  They drive great cars, live in huge, well appointed houses, their kids go to all the cool sports camps, will attend the $$ Catholic high school and have college tuition in the bank.  And, 99% of them are great people too ;-) I hate that I feel any lack and fight it constantly. 
*****************
My once read an article that cited a study about how we feel about our wealth.  One of the questions was “How much money would you need to make annually to feel rich?”  Almost universally people answered that they only needed 20% MORE than what they currently had.  So if they made $200,000 they felt that $240-250k would do the trick . . . .crazy!

I have always loved Fiddler on the Roof.  Remember, at the end of the song, what Tevye wants most of all is to sit in the synagogue and pray and discuss the scriptures—he calls that the sweetest thing of all.  Tevye has his priorities right…but maybe that’s because he’s poor….

My husband and I often wonder if some religious vocations in young people are ruined because their parents gave them too much “stuff”- be it iPods, cars, vacations, clown lessons, etc.  To say “yes” to a religous vocation means saying “no” to many other things.  The more things we give to our kids, the more they have to say “no” to, the harder it could be for them to say “yes” to God.

Wow Corita I cannot stop thinking about your words.  I did not grow up poor, but we were much poorer than our relatives and most of the people in our town and social circles.  I grew up feeling ashamed of this because it was so obvious my father was ashamed.  He is like your husband, and disparages those who are “Rich”.  I was plagued by anxiety about economics from an early age.  I still struggle.  Hearing all of your words is really amazing to me. 

This is a great post that made me stop and think.

I often shop at the supermarket in the “poor” town that is loaded with new immigrants, and almost everyone is kind and happy to see my three boys helping (or not) as I go up and down the isles.  They stop and notice and say hello with big smiles in various languages.  It is fun.  At the posh place a few towns over where I occasionally go for fabulous (though expensive) greens, it seems like everyone is annoyed by my children.  Almost nobody notices them, or stops to engage.  They seem far to rushed and or intent on accomplishing their shopping.  I cannot tell if wealthy people become cold because of money or if people who are very focused on themselves become wealthy. 
What do you think?

First of all, it takes great fortitude to write a post like this one.  Praise God, Simcha.
The post and comments to follow is a great comfort to many, I’m sure, including me.  Having little income or as this post describes, limited but still regular funds, builds great trust in God as many have said. We can choose to love Him for this… He is really stripping us away from what is unimportant, and helping us to focus on Him alone.  I have a theory that everything we desired and missed out on in our fallen state
while here on earth, will be made up SO GREATLY in heaven that this life will seem beautifully fleeting.  So, for me, that would be world travel to all the beautiful historically Catholic places and a few tropical and exotic islands, too!  For my 9-year-old, it may be violin lessons.  For my 18-year-old, it may be achieving a girls’ level 10 in gymnastics with a 9.9 floor score.  Instead we were stripped of all these focal points and distractions.  And we are still happy.  All we needed to do was say “yes” to His plan, and his pruning.  Thanks, poverty!!

My son came home from school one day and said in very sincere tone, ” Dad, why are we poor?” I look into his eyes and put a hand on his shoulder and said, Son, we’re not poor. We just don’t have a lot of money.”

My wife and I came to a mutual agreement that we would be a one income family. She built a strong and supportive home and I worked to meet our financial needs. We had wonderful home life which included having dinner together as a family every night. Dinner was filled with lively conversation, a chapter or two read from one of the great books, and sometimes a quick game of hearts before homework.
Compared to families of the children my son went to school with, we didn’t have a lot but we were rich in the intangibles especially with solid faith, love and a home filled with laughter. It was the home that all of his friends wanted to be at in their spare time. It became obvious over the years that some of the intangibles were missing in their lives.
Their night would end with prayer as I laid my hands on there foreheads and prayed that they would sleep peacefully, protected by the Lord. And even till they went off to college, a kiss good night.
“There are kings even among the poor!”

I hate money. Hate it. But I do love Fiddler on the Roof.

I remember a quote (vaguely) that the rich may be closer to heaven, since they know that money can’t buy happiness. 
I fully concur with your thoughts, Simcha, but there is a level of poverty where the worry and stress of caring for a family can force out a “rich” spiritual life.  The abundance of small worries can cause one to lose sight of the big picture (I have seen this first-hand with my own relatives). 
And more practically, poverty can become expensive in its own way (late fees, forced interest on late payments, increased major medical bills when minor health problems are ignored, bad credit, missed appointments and job interviews, increased fees/interest when buying home or vehicles, having to buy cheap, high calorie foods with long-term health consequences, etc).
As much as I love St. Francis, he was single and able to live in a time and place where alms would get you by.

Love you, Simcha.

Richard, I had to read your first line a few times, probably some truth to that! When you don’t have much of the material trappings of the bourgeois mentality, you are free to what is really beautiful in life. Sometimes you may not appreciate it until it is hind sight though? “Half the time my heart aches that my kids can’t enjoy these things—and the other half, I just feel good because my kids spend their Saturdays sitting around reading under a shady tree while the little ones splash happily in a bowl of water.  Thanks, poverty!” So true and beautiful! Very heartfelt, thanks Simcha

Simcha, when you write a book, you will be far less poor.  I’m anxious to read it, so get writing! : ) 

My dad always says that winning the lottery would ruin his life, but he still buys tickets.

Let me know if you need help finding a publisher.

This is right on. As I type the window behind my computer is covered by a ratty lace tablecloth (hung over a tension rod). No shopping trip for curtains. Thanks, poverty!

As we cannot afford to get another mattress and do not have room for another anyway, my two youngest girls share the bottom of a bunk, each sleeping at an opposite end. Thanks, poverty!

But as has been said above, we’re not really poor at all. We have what we need, and we’re together. God has blessed us with health and a peaceful place to live. And occasionally, we can buy wine, or pizza, or take a road trip to visit family.

God bless everyone who is poor. May those of us with more always be there to help out.

Eh. I’m kind of with Richard on this one. It’s one thing to love money and to make it your primary goal to the exclusion of all else, where flaunting your wealth is the only thing of value. It’s quite another thing to focus on the kind of earning and saving that will only help your family gain….things like medical care, good credit, good education, healthy food, and reliable transportation. Life is hard enough. Poverty can be shouldered, but it doesn’t mean you have to surrender to it.

When my children were younger I remember telling them “it’s a blessing to have nothing, because then you appreciate everything”.  My children thought garage sale were where everyone bought their clothes, they would get so excited if we stopped at one.  Many hand me downs were many blessings.  I taught my children that “wants” don’t weigh heavier than “needs” so they now as young adults make very wise choices and save diligently.
My oldest was at school one day and one of her best friends made the comment to her “your poor”, my daughters reply “Jesus was poor too”.  And one of my favorite songs from children and throughout my whole life is “The Little Drummer boy”—-that was me, but I always gave my all and best to HIM, which was all I had, myself.  I have many fond memories of not having much of anything—-they were the best of times because I truly Trusted and leaned on God for everything.  He’s an awesome Father and always provides for our needs.

Love.this.post.  Oh my goodness, this was great!  And so, so wise.  We have five children (three biological, and two adopted) and we live oh so simply.  My kids aren’t involved in tons of activities, and yet there is so much love in our home, our kids are so easily entertained, it is great.

A friend forwarded this to me and I’m so happy she did!  Less than a year ago, we took the leap into poverty and have never looked back.  We have only 1 car, but we have only 4 children, so we make it work.  No extracurricular activities mean my kids have more time to teach themselves how to play Ode to Joy on that penny whistle they found and to choreograph an interpretive dance to “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” (both of those things actually happened.  True story.).

But most of all, I think we love each other even more now that we know we’re all we’ve got :)

I agree with your first paragraph—you are not poor—at all!!

Dwija borobia. Great comment. Less than a year ago, we took the leap into poverty and have never looked back.

It may be a blessing to be poor and a curse to be rich.
One thing the poor can not deny it is much easier to live the live of the rich.

Thank you for the post.  One year ago, my husband and I made the faithful decision for me to resign my job so I could stay home with our girls.  This year has taught me humilityand trust in God.  Still these have been difficult lessons for me to learn.

If God wanted us to be Poor and worship him, he would not have let mankind invent money.
If God wanted us to remain poor,God would not have created greed,he would of let all of us live like a genuine communist.
God needed to make sure that the hell he invented had enough people to stoke the fires, so that when winter came he could let the hot water central heating the burners are in hell and the pipes that he had installed are in heaven.
Just a thought if God did not want us to war against each other he would of made us so that we could breath fresh air but could not live outside of sea.
All mankind would of lived like Dolphins.
No gunpowder no atomic bombs, no gas chambers, no guns, for all those implements need heat material and oxygen.There be no money as we know it,the best there be are sea shell we could use as money, no multi billion projects, no rockets to inter space.Just my thoughts

yes, except….We’re poor, and my retired parents are poor. I live a thousand miles from my parents, which means they only get to see their grandkids once every few years. And that’s not likely to change.

Thanks for the article and to those who have written so many comments. It is a good reminder to know I am not alone in the struggle to raise a family. My husband and I have never wanted to be rich. But we did not want to be branded by family members as poor either. We understood that there must be something special with being considered poor as the Holy Family was considered poor as well, but most family members seem to think less of our inability to keep up with their lifestyles. The Lord and St Joseph will provide and they certainly have over the last 30 years. We have poverty to look forward to in our old age years as well. What I find hard is seeing my older 3 children stuggle while other people’s children seem to land well paying jobs that will take them to retirement even without a good education. I am surrounded with a large extended family that take glorious vacations and seem to have it all with their children having bright futures outside of poverty as well. I feel sad when I hear young children basically brag about their trips to a vactionland to those who will never get to go and they feel so entitled, and this happens at catechism class.

I wish I had seen this sooner. AND I wish I had your pluck and verve, Simcha. A couple years ago we were thrust from the cradle of the middle class to the thrashing floor of “the new poor”.  It hasn’t been easy, but the greatest challenge has been the psychological ones.  I wrote a lot about it so I could cathart and not drive my friends crazy with my whining. www.newpoorzone.com.

i love you! my husband works for the Church as a DRE and so we will always struggle to make ends meet. i can totally relate to everything you wrote. it IS beautiful and i am finally embracing it rather than resenting it. thank you!

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