A reader writes:
So, It's 1am, and I just finished a cake. All the while I was painting tiny little gold letters on said cake, all I could think about was how freaking terrified I am about the future of our country and the world. I feel as though all I can think about involves fear. I know that this is "not of God", as they say. How do I deal with fear like this? I'm growing weary of constantly feeling like I'm going to hyperventilate. :)
Oh yes, fear. Fear is exhausting, and it sucks all the joy out of the day. There are some practical things you can do to relieve fear over the state of the world:
First: when the source of our fear is the news, there is a really simple solution:
Just turn it off. Call it sticking your head in the sand, if you like, but is there really any genuine benefit to knowing about every last angry mob, every ugly bit of rhetoric, every destructive bill that may or may not make its way through the House? Some people's jobs truly require keeping up with the news in detail, but most people's don't. It's not our duty to be submerged in muck at all times. It's okay to tag out for a while. Try just turning it off for a week -- or read the headlines only once a day, and skip TV and internet news altogether (or hide the Facebook friends who post about it all day long). Instead, listen to good music, or just have silence.
Second, recognize that exterior circumstances that are out of our control (war, bad laws, worrisome societal trends) can terrify us more when things in our own lives feel out of control -- at least, that's how it works for me. When the outside world seems ready to overwhelm me, it's because my inside life is not in order. It never hurts to go to confession a little bit more often, or to add some regular spiritual practice to the routine. Maybe readers can suggest a specific act of hope or trust that has made a difference in their lives.
NB: I'm not saying that people who are afraid are guilty of some secret sin! I'm just saying that peace starts from the inside. This is why you see wealthy, safe, healthy, pampered teenagers who are full of angst (and why people who own million-dollar safe rooms with food and oxygen for ten years still don't sleep well at night), but the early Christians could go to their martyrdom calmly singing hymns of praise to God. I'm no martyr (not even if they killed me quick), but I have gotten better at identifying the difference between fear that is an appropriate reaction to external events, and fear that has more to do with the war inside my own soul. It's always easier to solve a problem when you understand what the problem actually is.
Or sometimes, just getting a little more sleep and a little more protein makes all the difference.
Third, remember that the world has always been an ugly place. Maybe it's perverse, but I always take comfort in reading some history and realizing that things truly have been this bad before. Degeneracy -- yes, even socially-accepted, state-sanctioned, utterly pervasive degeneracy -- has always been with us. It rises and falls like the tide, peaking in one society while it ebbs in another, sometimes taking one form and sometimes another.
So if you feel like the world is being taken over by evil, you're right. It is. But this is nothing new.
What is new is what God has promised He will do: He will come again in glory, and He will set everything straight -- every last little thing, from the dirty look you got from another driver, to the wholesale slaughter of innocents in every corner of the world.
This is true. Do you believe it is true? Do you set this idea before yourself regularly?
We will never get anywhere if we simply try really, really hard to stop being afraid. Fear needs to be replaced with something, not just beaten down or chased away. Replace fear with the image of a strong and joyful God who loves us, and who will not leave us alone forever.
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And one more thing: laugh!
Simcha,
Really. I simply do not understand how you know exactly what to write and when to write it. I’m blown away. I’ve been unsettled each moment since that damned HHS mandate was finalized in January, and I’ve prayed and prayed and prayed about it. I still feel sick. I knew that it had more to do with my “insides” than the mandate, which you nail above. Confession gives momentary reprieve, but my big fear is that I won’t have the courage to calmly sing on my way to matrydom if that is what God requires. Will I fold under even light pressure and damn my soul to Hell? Yup, I need to take concrete action to trust God and know that he’ll provide any grace I need to carry out his will. Easier to type than to do, however.
Thanks for another stellar piece.
Marc
This was exactly the topic of my latest confession! The priest told me to say, daily, the prayer “Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Thy faithful and kindle in them the fire of Thy love.” It truly helps. I have also found the prayer to St. Michael the Archangel helpful.
Excellent article, especially #3. I often remind myself to get some perspective, after all the Early Christians had to worship in secret or risk being killed. I can drop by my Church any time of day, in daylight, and not risk being hauled off to my martyrdom. I find a 3pm Divine Mercy Chaplet (especially a musical one)helps to calm me before the rush of the afternoon. “Jesus I Trust in You.”
Big fan of that nod towards O’Connor.
Your point about how this is the way the world has always been is such a good one. We tend to forget that and also not to realize that we are actually better off than most generations that have preceded us, safety and health wise. I blame the constant media bombardment for our lack of perspective. While I love reading about current events and politics, I can’t stand the constant fearmongering utilized by less reputable media outlets.
Really all I need is “breaking news”. There are so many other interests that I pursue that my day flies quickly. One Rosary per day seems to help me keep things in perspective.
Yes. There will be no mistaking Our Lord when He returns again in glory.
I am breathless with delight at the juxtaposition of your first point and this, “Stay informed and active with comprehensive election coverage found in the National Catholic Register! Click here for 3 FREE issues,” at the bottom of the article.
AMDG
Our parish priest gave a talk to our homeschooling group last week . He was asked this very similar question, and he told us to remember simply that God has already won the victory.
It may be that we will all be asked to live as members of a persecuted church (my note: persecuted in such a way that we will be ridiculed for calling it persecution), and if that’s so, then “Thy will be done.”
But God has already won the victory.
Thank you for this. It’s what I needed after three straight nights of societal disintegration nightmares.
Bearing: I think that is exactly correct.
AMDG
That was just what I needed to hear. Reading your blog is like having a cup of coffee with a really good friend. Thanks for what you do. God bless you, Simcha!
In addition to turning off the Facebook feed, please also consider an Ostrich Nap Pillow. I intend on wearing one between now and November.
This is what helps me: Romans 8 28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. ... 31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? 33 Who will bring a charge against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies 34 who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. 35 Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 Just as it is written, “For Your sake we are being put to death all day long We were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” 37 But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I have found that when I’m afraid of societal forces gaining the upper hand, it’s because I don’t know arguments or reasons for my own faith and beliefs well enough.
So I would add a little study & research time to the list.
The Chaplet of Divine Mercy (or simply, “Jesus, I trust in You!”), the rosary, and the prayer to St. Michael are all prayers I use when faced with similar angst. Also, I find when “it seems like to much,” that usually means I’m past-due for confession.
—-
As an aside, we “got rid” of TV (no cable/satellite; only what we can get on rabbit ears - which isn’t much in our basement) about 8 years ago with a return of only 10 months somewhere in the middle. We do still watch some things streaming via internet or some sporting events, but that’s pretty much it. I cannot tell you what a difference that has made in terms of bringing peace into our home. (Not to mention, it’s great that we don’t have to explain certain commercials to our young children!) ;-)
Thank you. I really needed this.
Thank you, Simcha. I could have written the first letter. I was cramped with fear and couldn’t function. We haven’t had a TV for umpteen years but I was watching Sky news on the internet. My kids were really worried. The world can fall to pieces, but mom?
A lot of what is happening today is very worrisome and terrifying, since it affects each one of us personally. That being said, it is hard to maintain the fear just knowing that we have an abundance of allies in the Church Triumphant waiting to come to our aid, not to mention we have God Himself in the Holy Persons of Father, Son and Holy Spirit to aid us whenever we need it. You are right that we need to replace our fear with something, and that something is, as you mentioned, trust in God. Give your fear to Him, and let Him handle the rest! :-)
Such good and balanced advice, thank you! I find that aside from all of the usual fears and worries, there is an especially difficult oppression that can happen literally in the darkest part of the night. I suffered from this for a while until I learned to identify it for what it really was. The Holy Spirit brings deep and abiding peace. What I call “the dark voice” does not. It whispers darkness, fear, and oppression. The simple words of Mother Teresa are so apropos: “Give it to God”! Whether it is our own wretchedness, our material needs, or the health of our spouse and children..give. it. to. God. Leave it in that furnace of Love, which is His heart.
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There is this part in the Diary of St. Faustina, “Divine Mercy in My Soul”, in which in the middle of the night, she finds herself suddenly in spirit, at the side of a dying man in the hospital. He is literally under attack. As soon as Faustina begins to pray the Chaplet of Mercy for his soul, her arms cruciform, these dark spirits flee, and the man is visibly relieved.
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I’ve learned to recognize that special, awful feeling that evil brings. There’s actually a line from the prayers of the Church that literally tells Satan to drink his own poison! So I turn my own sense of pain into a prayer, for all those who don’t have the gift of faith, who are suffering that same agony. I pray for the dying, and those despairing. It actually gives me a sense of power over evil. Ha ha, I consider it one of my “secret weapon” prayers, and I believe it to be particularly powerful. Needless to say “he” or “it” doesn’t come around much anymore!
</b> Just giving this thread a closing </ b> bracket to try and stop the bold text from spreading.
<b></b> Oh well. It was worth a shot.
Ooh, I didn’t notice the bold, since I get comments via email! I’ll see what I can do.
I enjoyed reading the article. I would add: take courage. Do something good.
You mean that turning the clock back to the year 950 won’t fix all our problems?! :-o
I wish more Catholics of the faithful homeschooling trad crowd knew about the violence and perverted debauchery of the past…reading about public fertility rites of ancient Egypt, and excerpts from the poetry of Sappho (Greek, d.570 B.C.) sure helped me stop freaking out about the moral degeneracy of today.
awesome, awesome, awesome. Totally what was needed. Gracias!
Some terrors are rational, some are not. Especially true for the believer.
Your reader wrote “how freaking terrified I am about the future of our country and the world.”
The world [planet] is God’s affair, he created it and “he did not create it in vain: he formed it to be inhabited.” Isa 45:18
The world [of certain people] is indeed in danger, but still under God’s control: “the day of judgment and perdition of the ungodly men.” 2 Pet 3:7
The country, like all others, is on its way out. “But in the days of those kingdoms, the God of heaven will set up a kingdom that shall never be destroyed, and his kingdom shall not be delivered up to another people: and it shall break in pieces, and shall consume all these kingdoms: and itself shall stand for ever.” Dan 2:44 Not worrisome for Christians, though, since we pray for just that to happen, right? “Thy kingdom come on earth ...”
Psychologists have long noted that we deal with our fears better when we have accurate knowledge about the source of the fears; knowledge is indeed power. That’s why I find the Bible so comforting.
I read something just the other day that enables me to get a handle on those fears that pop up. Anne, A Lay Apostle writes in her book (Mist of Mercy)that when she was feeling overwhelmed and afraid from attacks being waged against her and her mission, Jesus tells her. “Anne, I have conquered the world. I can handle this.”
Whatever “this” may be, Jesus can handle it. And he will. ALL things work for the good of those who trust in Him!!
Melissa ,
True, but I think the Catholic homeschooling folk may have more time, incentive,& energy to read history books about how messed up the ancient world really was. I know I did.
After we stopped homeschooling I seemed to do far less reading & studying & much more relying on the media for information.I think homeschooling was at least as beneficial to me as it was to my children.
But, you’re right.Reading about the good old days can make you more appreciative of the bad, old, modern days.At least sometimes.
Thanks for all the good comments and suggestions. Just to add my 2 cents worth - keep in mind that much of our media has become very sensationalistic. Reminding viewers constantly that the sky is falling is how networks keep the viewers tuning in. The media can be very manipulative. Be discerning about where you get your news, use your critical thinking skills to sniff out hyperbolic, alarmist stories. Watch for the lazy newscasts where they do nothing more than jump on the sound-bite bandwagon that everyone else has jumped on, all while trotting out so-called experts to stir up the passions even more.
For example, I have lost a lot of respect for CNN over the years. I think the push for ratings has diminished the integrity of many news sources. Pumping up the fears of a nation draws in viewers.
Thanks. It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one terrified. And, Marc, that’s my fear also: that I’ll cave at the slightest thing.
Most of my fears are of the circumstances in my life over which I have no power to change (my children have autism, my husband has a long commute, etc.), but yesterday I was reminded of the verses given to me 16 years ago by the father of my best friend from childhood:
I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.
Ps. 27:13-4
“Or sometimes, just getting a little more sleep and a little more protein makes all the difference.”
HA! That’s actually an active part of my daily discernment: Am I just tired? When was the last time I had meat?
Talking to a spiritual director or therapist (depending on the root cause of your anxiety or fear) can work wonders for your overall health and human flourishing.
I don’t watch the news anymore for the same reason. But I also had to stay off a certain Catholic “news” website that had the same, and sometimes worse, effect. This website is replete with end of the world or chastisement prophecies. It got to the point I couldn’t eat or sleep I was in so much fear. So my husband forbade me to go back on that website. He’s a saint.
I think it is important to deal with fear properly also for the sake of our children. They’ll follow our example. Sometimes when my husband and I get to talking too much about “the reality out there” my 10yo pipes up with “Do we have to talk about this? It’s giving me the fantods.” (see Huckleberry Finn)
That kind of puts a brake on the dumping and helps us refocus.
I know this was a serious piece, but I’m surprised you didn’t mention a glass of wine. What about a glass of wine and a Marx Bros. movie? Or homemade chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk? It works for my kids.
I think that the unreasonable fear is driving some of my friends and relatives to believe that our votes in the upcoming election will be the deciding force in the collapse (or not) of American society, and thus All That Is Good. I may be off here, but I beg to differ. I myself can always tell I am at my most spiritually wretched when I am panicked and upset.
Thank you Simcha for your straightforward comments. - Rosary and Divine Mercy Chaplet indeed. May God bless you abundantly.
My husband and I have an unspoken rule: since I’m hypersensitive and he has the thicker skin, he keeps up with all the news and I don’t. He lets me know, without the sensationalism, what’s going on in the world. I also see the headlines on Facebook, so when something big is going on I know what it is, but I often don’t click over because I know it will just upset me. My job is to raise two beautiful boys, keep my house, and tend my garden. None of that requires up-to-the-minute news updates.
Great article. Another idea…pray the Rosary, even at night. Waking up often at night, finding the rosary still in my hands, is a good reminder to pray always.
I find solace many times upon remembering our great Blessed John Paul II’s first directive to all of us - “Be not afraid.” If any person had cause to be fearful, humanly speaking, it was he! BJPII, pray for us!
@ victor: hahaha the ostrich pillow!
“God is love…In love there is no room for fear, but perfect love drives out fear…” 1John 4:18
God is love. Words cannot describe the depth of His love. To get some idea just how great His love is, the Kindle e-book for just $1 goes a long way in portraying it—http://www.amazon.com/God-is-Love-ebook/dp/B009EGHXVK/ref=sr_1_7?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1348514513&sr=1-7&keywords=God+is+love
I love that you reminded us gently of history. We have been here before, us Catholics, and we survived. We survived because Jesus is not a liar. Great writing and thank you!
Thank you fabulous. With God’s love there is nothing to fear since in the end everything will turn out okay. The depth of His love is truly comforting and reassuring!
http://www.amazon.com/God-is-Love-ebook/dp/B009EGHXVK/ref=sr_1_7?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1348514513&sr=1-7&keywords=God+is+love
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