Over at Catholic Vote we encounter the sort of story that could only emerge from the PC precincts of my beloved and absurd home town, Seattle. Jessica, a 16-year-old private school kid, decided to volunteer at a public school in our famously wretched and embattled Seattle system. Here’s her story:
“At the end of the week I had an idea to fill little plastic eggs with treats and jelly beans and other candy, but I was kind of unsure how the teacher would feel about that,” Jessica said.
She was concerned how the teacher might react to the eggs after a meeting earlier in the week where she learned about “their abstract behavior rules.”
“I went to the teacher to get her approval and she wanted to ask the administration to see if it was okay,” Jessica explained. ”She said that I could do it as long as I called this treat ‘spring spheres.’ I couldn’t call them Easter eggs.”
Rather than question the decision, Jessica opted to “roll with it.” But the third graders had other ideas.
“When I took them out of the bag, the teacher said, ‘Oh look, spring spheres,’ and all the kids were like ‘Wow, Easter eggs.’ So they knew,” Jessica said.
Okay. Before we go any further, just savor that for a moment:
“Spring Spheres.” Not even “Spring eggs,” which would at least be easy to say and accurate. Nope. It’s gotta be “Spring Spheres” combining the manifold virtues of PC cowardice, unpronounceability and inaccuracy (because eggs aren’t, y’know, spheres). Triple threat.
I’d like to move on to my next point, but ... indulge me. “Spring spheres. Springspheres! Spriiiiiiiiing Spheeeeeeeeres!”
That is just so many kinds of stupid all wrapped up in one. Only the bluest of blue state public school systems could come up with something that magnificently and juicily dumb.
Spring spheres ... ah me! Splendid!
But. Moving on. What interests me about the incident is the curious paradox of who is getting upset about it and who isn’t. In the comboxes after the article, you get a lot of the usual suspects turning up with their faux scholarly analyses of the “origin of Easter” (it’s pagan, as they all agree with each other), and so Christians are, per the Blue State Groupthink Manual, dumb, while people who insist on Spring Spheres are, y’know, really smart (according to themselves). That’s to be expected from our theologically illiterate clevers out here in the Land at the End of History. Pseudoknowledge abounds and no Seattle Sophisticate would ever be expected to look beyond the level of Internet Gossip to discover the actual origin of Easter, nor still less to realize that “Easter” is a linguistic accident for English speakers, while much of the rest of the world calls it by a name that derives, not from “Eostre” but from Passover. The whole “Easter is pagan” thing doesn’t work so well when you realize it is rooted, not in bunnies and eggs, but in the feast Jesus celebrated on the night he was betrayed.
So the Seattle Sophisticate Narrative about Easter, as about so much else pseudo-sophistication of the “Jesus Never Existed” school of ignorance, is the glass-half-empty narrative here.
But there’s also a curious glass-half-full side, too. Because, once again, we also see the odd spectacle of Protestants—many of them imagining they are quite anti-Catholic—going to bat for Easter and its trappings in much the same way that they go to bat for ChristMASS and fight to preserve Catholic feasts and culture from the depredations of the Correctors. Some of it is rather luridly over-dramatized (favorite over-the-top response to this silly story):
Easter and Christmas are now taught in school to be pornographic words as America slumbers in darkness. As America sleeps, Gog and Magog form their alliance.
Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.Muḥammad ibn al-Ḥasan al-Mahdī will soon appear. Let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains.
But though the hysteria is, I think, a bit much, it’s nice to realize that this guy, whoever he is, is defending something his Puritan ancestors would have damned to the pit of hell as popish trumpery.
It is like the odd spectacle I participated in few years ago down in Hollywood, when I was asked to join a panel to discuss The Da Vinci Code and discovered myself in the odd position of being the sole Papist watching four Evangelicals arguing, in various ways, in defense of the Catholic Church from the pseudo-scholarly charlatanism of Dan Brown.
Moral: one happy side effect of our darkening anti-Christian culture is that, as the water comes up the beach and threatens to drown Christian culture, people from Christian traditions are forced closer together and many Protestants who used to think of the Church as the !@#$% of Babylon are coming to recognize that the Romish spirit of antichrist is not all it’s cracked up to be. For them, I ask the prayers of St. Hippolytus, the only anti-pope to be canonized a saint. Reconciliation is always possible, even if it has to be found in a salt mine under the lash of pagan oppressors (which is where our culture seems to be heading in short order).
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And they´re not even spheres! Ovoids!!!
Shalom
Hermann
Deciding to see Hop before reading our good friend’s review (SDG, right here), we were amazed the writer’s gave the good old Easter Bunny a 4000 year history! Seriously. My older kids - suffering through the movie for the sake of their littler siblings nearly choked on their popcorn! Wonder what the geniuses in Seattle would do with that little bit of history?!
An excellent article Mark and although it elicited some great laughs, there were a few head-shaking (in disbelief) moments too. It also made me wonder if one of my favourite dishes at the Chinese restaurant namely Spring Rolls aren’t some Oriental,hidden religious symbol i.e. Easter Rolls? Naw, they are just what they say they are, delicious!
Such ‘uptight seattleites’. Insist calling them Spring Eliptical Spheroids
Reading this article is like listening to the band play as the Titanic goes down. What’s the point? That a few evangelicals unknowingly now “defend” the Church? It’s absurd.
The foundation of the Christian faith : Bibilical revelation : summaries of the Christian faith ( Galayisns 1:3-4, Romans 10:8b-9, Romans 10:8b-9,Romans 1:1b-4, 1Timothy 3:16)
Secular language define faith, As I Quote the Oxford dictionary: ” complete trust or confidence in someone or something , strong belief in a religion ,system of religious belief .The origin of the word from Latin ( Fides)
In the revealed language ( biblical revelation , faith is used 274 times throughout the bible) . As I quote the book of Leviticus 5:15 ” if a soul commit a trespass ,and sin through ignorance, in the holy things of the Lord ; then he shall bring for his trespass unto the Lord a ram without blemish out of the flocks ,with thy estimation by shekels of silver ,after the shekels of the sanctuary ,for a trespass. ” The background of this scripture passage ( Doctrine of Sacred Rites and Forms in relation to the trespass offerings for special sins and for witholdingwhat was due to God. The book of Leviticus dealt with the priestly Teaching ,and Leviticus 1-8 is in reference to the sanctuary and it’s ministers ; the sacrifice of reparation
When we compare this scripture passage along other translation we can be certain there are no ambiguity in the word of God :
Parallel translation of ( Leviticus 5:15 As I quote the various translations.
NRSV: “When any of you commit a trespass and sin unintentionally in any of the holy things of the Lird, you wahoo bring, as your guilt offering to the Lord , a ram without blemish from the flock , convertible into silver by the sanctuary shekel; it is a guilt offering.”
REB: ” when any person commits an offense by inadvertently defaulting in dues sacred to the Lord ,he must bring to the Lird as his reparation - offering a ram without blemish from the flock; the value is to be determined by you in silver shekels by the sacred standard , for a reparation - offering.”
NAB:” if someone commits a sin by inadvertently cheating in the Lord’s sacred dues, he shall bring to the Lird as his guilt offering an unblemished ram from the flock, valued at two silver shekels according to the standard of the sanctuary shekel.”
NJB: ” If someone is unfaithful and sins inadvertently by infringing Yaweh’s sacred rights ,as a sacrifice of reparation he must bring Yaweh an unblemished ram from his flock,the value of which will be decided by you in silver shekels according to the rate of the sanctuary - shekel.”
A deeper reflection on the commentary on this scripture passage ( Leviticus 5:15). As I quote ” Here we have the law concerning those that were properly and peculiarly trespass - offerings ,which were offered to atone for trespass done against a neighbor . Now injuries done to another may be either in holy things or in common things; of the former we have the law in these verses; of the latter in the beginning of Chapter six. Now if a man did alienate or convert to his own use any thing that was dedicated to God, unwittingly ,he was to bring this sacrifice ; as suppose he had ignorantly made use of the tithes,or first - fruits ,or first - born of his cattle, or had eaten any of those parts of the sacrifices which were appropriated to the priests ; this was a trespass . If it was done presumptuously ,and in contempt of the law, the offender died without mercy , ( Hebrew 10:28) . But in case of negligence and ignorance this sacrifice was appointed .the trespassed must bring an offering to the Lord,which ,in all those that were purely trespass - offerings, must be a ram without blemish.He must likewise make restitution to the priests, according to a just estimation of the thing which he had so alienated , adding a fifth part to it. ( commentary on Leviticus 5:14-19)
Review of the first commandment ( Theological virtues : Faith, Hope and Charity) # 2084-2132)
As Christians we are affirmed in our knowledge of our faith. We are always asking for the grace to be filled with the Holy Spirit , therefore we are never half empty and half full. Only the culture of death thinks in this particular ideology.,we can defend an objective criteria of good and evil.
Peace to all during this Holy Week
I have to say, I find the phrase “spring spheres” offensively borealcentric. It completely marginalizes the entire half of the globe that doesn’t celebrate spring at this time of year.
“That is just so many kinds of stupid all wrapped up in one. Only the bluest of blue state public school systems could come up with something that magnificently and juicily dumb.
Spring spheres ... ah me! Splendid!”
^ ^ ^
This. Most especially the first sentence.
An indirectly relevant quote from the first page of A Confederacy of Dunces, by John Kennedy Toole:
“Possession of anything new or expensive only reflected a person’s lack of theology and geometry; it could even cast doubts upon one’s soul.”
A “spring sphere” likewise lacks both.
No one’s been able to confirm the “spring spheres” story, as far as I know. Looks like a manufactured conspiracy to me…
Clearly Spring Spheres discriminates against all angular objects. I’m calling the ACLU…
“Only the bluest of blue state public school systems could come up with something that magnificently and juicily dumb.”
Unfortunately, the depth of stupidity cannot be measured with political spectrum. Idiocy has no party or creed, therefore attributing it to either end of the spectrum is nonsensical.
Snowballs are now a “winter orb”
Funny. I laughed out loud.
The Emperor’s New Clothes strikes again.
I guess it would have been a bad slip of the tongue if she called them Easter spheres.
According to my Websters, the etymology is [ME ester < OE eastre, pl. eastrom, spring, Easter; orig., name of pagan vernal festival almost coincident in date with pashcal festival of the church < Eastre, dawn goddess < PGmc. *Austro (whence G. Ostern): see EAST]
So does this mean the points of the compass will be changed as well since the words East and Easter seem to be related? Would it now be North, South, sphero-opposite-of-West, and West?
I call it madness and ignorance. What is wrong if the school authorites recognise that the student’s easter egg stands for their faith in the resurrection of Christ. How can you creaye darkness by closing your eyes ?
I didn’t know that Easter eggs had anything to do with the resurrection of Christ. They are not even religious. I’m staying tuned to the new name for Christmas trees.
Pagan Dionysian fertility ritual ovular tissue orbs
Makes ya wanna breed like a bunny, don’t it?
Vernal Ovoids!!!
That kinda sounds like an STD, though…
I made comments on my facebook about the “spring spheres”, & the earth day people wanting priests to do their homilies during Easter about the earth. For calling these people pagans, I was called hostile towards those attacking the Catholic Church. Hostile? Yes. Pagans just want to be treated the same. The woman that said I was hostile, well she says she is Christian. Not Catholic. All I did was call them pagans.
Words cannot express my grief over this problem. I, in public elementary school, had to stand just outside of the school yard to teach Jesus to the other students. I had a great following. Then I got into trouble because if I got hurts, because my toes were just a centimeter off of school property, I would not be covered by school insurance. But then Jesus led me to writing notes. So I left notes in the bathrooms, including the boys bathroom on the chalkboards, everywhere I could think of. I even argued that since education (learning) was not going on during lunch time, I could teach about Jesus then. So then I just started discussing my opinion about Jesus, which the school system still said no. What-pray tell- would be the worse damage to our society if the Holy Scriptures were taught or at least the Ten Commandments in public schools?
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