Now Dear Giacomo, time to introduce myself. In 1975 I got into a fight with my father. A police officer was there and witnessed the fight and thought taking me out of the house for the night would cool things off. He thought the safest place for me, was St Thomas More parish in Durham NH. It was anything but safe.
Right after the cop left was when my night of horror, pain and suffering started. “Father” Leon Gaulin was first. He took me into his bedroom. Would you like me to describe it? I can still see it in my minds eye and everything he did to me in that room.
Gaulin told me I had broken the commandment of honoring my parents and I was doomed to hell, unless I did EVERYTHING he told me to do. First, he sucked me off, claiming he was going to suck out the demon in me. Next, he forced me to suck him off and “swallow his sacred sacrament”. Even though I puked into the wastebasket in front of the left nighttable, he still wasn’t done with me. He then raped me anally, forcing me to do a pennance of Our Fathers and Hail Mary’s, all the while telling me over and over again, if I told anyone about his special healing? I would burn in hell for all eternity. After he was done, he went and got me a glass of water and forced me to drink it. I started getting drowsy right afterwards and I remember him laying up against me, with only his robe on, spooning with me and masturbating me. He had drugged me you idiot.
I also know that “Father” Joseph Desmond and one other priest I have not been able to recognize, along with Gaulin spent the night raping me over and over again. My mind kinds of shuts down when I try to force what they did to me to come out. Even my therapists say it was so evil and horrifying that my mind simply refuses to allow it to come out, because it is a protection and defense mechinism we all have that when something is so horrifying, our minds blocks it to save our sanity.
But I catch glimpses of it every once in a while, and it is not very pretty.
I do remember that I called out to gawd and jeebus to save me from what these disgusting perverts in a Roman Catholic garb were doing to me. They must have been busy though, masturbating to what was happening to me. I mean gawd and jeebus are suppose to see all, be everywhere and know everything right? So they knew I was being brutally raped, body, soul and mind, and decided not to send those guardian angels to protect me like we were always told would happen, growing up in the RCC. I also guess they decided the free will of these disgusting rapists, was more important than my free will to not be so raped, tortured, violated and destroyed by their acts eh?
I lived in shame and silence for oh so many years. I did tell a friend at a boarding school I went to, but he did not believe me, no one believed at that time, that priests, supposed holy men of gawd, would do that to kids…yet.
I thought that I was so evil, I actually took the name Damien from the Omen series of movies, claiming I was the Anti-Christ. This can actually be proven when I got arrested in Daytona Beach for burglaries, my alias on my police reports is Damien.
I became a drunk and a druggie. Anything to stop the pain and horror I was going through, especially my nightmares. I would be in hell, being gang raped by priests, bishops and others. Why even the very demons of hell were banging me. The nightmares always end the same way, Gaulin, now with a face of a demon, comes over, rips off my penis and starts eating it, telling me, see I told you this would happen if you told.
I couldn’t have relationships. I thought I was a queer. I thought no woman would ever want to be with such a damaged person such as I. I tried, but most relationships I had? Fell apart within months.
I have tried at least 6 serious suicide attempts. I have woken up in the hospital having my stomach pumped. Right after I tried in Dec 1991, I was put into a mental hospital. I stayed there for 15 days and when I got out I said, well they can’t pump my stomach out if I do this. I took a bunch of valiums and dissolved them in a glass of vodka and drank it. Some reason a friend, who just happened to be a nurse at that, thought something was very wrong and came by. She saved my life that day. Right after your disgusting church used their lawyer and then used the statutue of limitations to get my case dismissed? I tried again. I was at a friends house and he was cleaning his gun. He had finished, put the clip in and chambered a round. I snatched the gun from his hand, I told him I could not take this pain, suffering and horror any longer, stuck the gun to my head and pulled the trigger. Funny the gun jammed for some reason. What is even more amazing? My friend told me that gun has NEVER jammed in his life.
I guess that was the last time because I realized I was supposed to be around. All those times I tried to kill myself over this and I was still here, that meant I had something that had to be done.
So I came out swinging. I started my blog, Rape Victims of the Catholic Church. I came to find out and realize, where I thought I was one of the few who went through this? There were actually about ONE MILLION of us who went through this since the 50’s at least. Oh and it was just not us being raped and brutalized in the churches either. Oh no. Magdalene and Good Shepherd Laundries, Industrial Homes such as Artane and Bindoon. Women’s and Children’s Homes such as the ones at Taum and others. Last but certainly not least, the First Nation/Native American Industrial Schools.
Yeah about one million children and teens, raped, tortured, beaten, brutalized, enslaved, and murdered, by priests and brothers, nuns and sisters and covered up and protected by far too many of the leaders. From Pope John Paul II, who covered up for Marcial and others, to Pope Benedict XVI, to even your current Pope Francis, who is protecting the Pedophile Pimps such as Bernard Law, George Pell and how come he has yet to have that disgusting Archbishop Josef Wesolowski not prosecuted yet, for his having over 100,000 child porn pictures and for raping children? Why it is been over a year. Then you got him protecting Carlos Urruigoity and others.
We victims of your cult of disgusting pedophiles and child abusers, still go through it to this very day with all your attacks against us.
1. We seduced our rapists. “Father” Groelsch
2. Because we did not punch our rapists in the face, that means we not only wanted it, we enjoyed it and we are homosexuals because of it (what with the connotation of being declared a homosexual brings by the RCC) Bill Donohue of the Catholic League. Also Donohue compares what we went through as being slapped on the wrist by a nun. He also has gone after one victim who stood up to Robert Finn. Yeah, this victim witnessed a drug gang murder and did what was right. He went to the police and testified and got those murderers put into prison. His identity was protected though, so the death threats by the gangs for him standing up against him. But Bill Donohue outed him. He went on the rampage against him. He started saying that this victim was actually the murderer and the prosecutor and police were protecting him. He revealed this victims name in news. Now the victim is in hiding and so is most of his family, because once Donohue revealed his name? The drug gang he testified against, started making death threats against him and his family. So now the victim is suing donohue.
3. “Father” Richard Ross hates us victims and has absolutely no sympathy for us. Matter of fact, he would love to bring us into a room and beat us with a baseball bat to show us what true pain and suffering is.
4. We are all liars, gold diggers, out looking for a payday from your church.
5. We should simply forgive you all for the crimes you all committed against us. But if we seek the prosecution of the criminals, or speak out about this evil, or demand justice, or demand all your pedophile pimps who covered up these crimes be arrested and prosecuted? Why then we are all haters, bigots, out to destroy the church.
6. When pew polishers find out I have attempted suicide? They tell me to try harder and kill myself.
I got lots more of these kinds of insults. Including how many of you disgusting pew polishing apologists, would love to stomp my face in, or even rape me or my sons. Yeah I got two sons. They want to rape by sons simply because I am speaking out against this evil and demanding justice.
Your cult uses their lawyers to deny us justice, by using the statutue of limitations against us to get our cases dismissed, and then your leaders, like Cardinal Timothy Dolan and others, fight tooth and nail any time some legislative body seeks to change the statutue.
So hey….I got reasons to hate you all. I got every right to hate you all. It is not bigotry, unless I am a bigot against people who proclaim themselves as the Holy Roman Catholic Church, the protectors and defenders of children, with all this complete and utter hypocrisy your church has done to children and teens, throughout the world and continues to do, to this very day.