When I first converted to Christianity, one of practices that was most foreign to me was the idea of Sunday being a day of rest. I already tried to do about ten days’ worth of work in the seven days of any given week, so the idea of subtracting one seemed impossible.
Then one day a wise spiritual advisor pointed out something that got my attention. One way to get an idea of how much God expects us to accomplish in a week, she suggested, is to look at the traditional Christian cycle of work and rest: No work on Sundays, and minimal work after Vespers at sundown.
It got me thinking about how much I try to accomplish versus how much I should try to accomplish. I realized that I have a bad tendency to push myself past my God-given limits, and pile more and more and more on my plate until I reach a breaking point. It was probably easier for previous generations to live within their limits: After Vespers, the prayer of the lighting of the lamps, there wasn’t enough light to accomplish a whole lot. And in many times and places there were hardly any businesses or markets open on Sundays, so there weren’t as many opportunities to run around and frantically check items off of your to-do list on the Lord’s day. But now we can switch on the lights to keep working well into the night, and we can run errands and do business on Sunday just as well as any other day. This modern setup is convenient in many ways, but it makes it really easy for people like me to bite off more than we can chew.
Even though it felt like it would be impossible, I decided to get more serious about making Sunday a day of rest. Also, on the other six days, I tried to get most of my work done before sundown. The results were striking.
First of all, I learned that growing in holiness is a lot easier if you have some buffer in your life. With my to-do list cut in half, I was amazed at how much more peaceful I was. For once, I could take time to enjoy simple moments that would normally have passed me by. I actually made regular time for prayer when I didn’t feel like I constantly had to be rushing from one thing to the next.
I learned that my overloaded lifestyle requires that nothing go wrong for it to work. During this experiment, one of my children got a bad cold, and I was surprised by how easy it was to handle. Normally I lived like a juggler trying to keep a dozen balls in the air at once—if the slightest thing went wrong, it would all come crashing down. Because I was no longer running in the red zone every day with my new schedule, I could give this unexpected situation the attention it needed without having to worry about it setting off a chain reaction of chaos.
I learned that living within your limits requires you to trust God. It was far from easy to ratchet back my expectations of what I could get done in a day. Turning down requests to do more work in the organizations with which I’m involved made me feel guilty. I worried that I’d get too far behind on everything if I set such strict limits on what I tried to accomplish in a day. But what I found, over and over again, was that the practice of accepting my human limits brought tremendous grace into my life. When I didn’t work on a project on Sunday, even though a Tuesday deadline loomed, it turned out even better than if I’d slaved over it both days of the weekend. Amazingly, I seemed to have more time than back when I was pushing myself to exhaustion seven days a week. I came to see that God doesn’t require more of us than we can accomplish in a sun-up to sundown workday; that when we do our best within reasonable limits, and respect ancient Christian customs about times for rest and prayer, God will bless our efforts more than we could imagine.
All that said, I am not always great about observing these limits. Ever since the homeschool year began, for example, I’ve been back to pushing myself too hard, too often seeing Sundays and evenings as opportunities to check more items off of our endless household to-do list. This Advent, one of my plans is to get more serious about setting limits on work, and make sure that our week includes regular times of rest.
What about you? Do you always make Sunday a day of rest? Any practical tips for making this a reality for the long-term?
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What a wonderful essay as we are starting Advent! How good it would be to make our Advent Sundays a prayerful gift to the Christ child.
It does take a long time, and a good deal of prayer to realize that all you are required to do is what God asks you to do. This is true on every day but especially on Sunday which we often see as an extra day for shopping or cleaning. You are not called to do what Martha Stewart is telling you to do (poignant after Thanksgiving when we want everything perfect), or other magazines, books, friends and family are telling you to do UNLESS God is asking it of you as well.
There is a wonderful ‘booklet’ about Sunday as rest from the late Maria Augusta Trapp (yes, that Maria Von Trapp) called the “The Land Without A Sunday”. It is actually a chapter from her book about living the liturgical year but you can get just this chapter from emmanuelbooks.com
It gives you a great deal of thought about how to better understand and appreciate Sunday but will admit we are still working on implementing it!
It would be nice if you could write about some of the concrete things you did to make this happen. I have the same problem - one day, I snapped at my husband “I’m just trying to get stuff done” and he said “You’re always trying to get stuff done and there will always be stuff to do”. I know he was right, but I really struggle with it. Anyway, any thoughts from you or your readers on exactly HOW to do this would be GREATLY appreciated!
Yes I do make Sunday a day of rest, since our pastor long ago pointed out that we safe supposed to. Time for family, reading, maybe a football game to view—just mainly relaxing. No shopping, no balancing the checkbook or bill paying—and if light yard work is a way for some to relax, that is allowed. But Sunday should be different from the rest of the week. And every day should be lived for the honor and glory of God.
This is an excerpt from the book “The Land without a Sunday” by Maria Von Trapp that is noted in RW’s comment. http://www.fisheaters.com/sundaysbytrapp.html
Thanks for the Advent reminder. I am trying to make an effort to make Sunday a day of rest for my family. Two of my children work on the weekends and one or more have a sports activity as well. Sunday is a day that after Mass there really is a lot less hustle and bustle than we have during the week. It’s a day where family gathers for dinner, conversation and some TV watching. I won’t say that we’ve been able to rest completely and I don’t want my kids to miss out of their favorite sport just because it’s Sunday so for now I’ll go along. Someday when it’s just my husband and I at home we’ll be sure that Sunday is our day of rest!
Thank you, RW and CINDYOMLIN! What a challenging and enlightening read.
In response to Amy Culver above, first a thank you for getting me to think about it! Its been 3 years that we’ve been actively working towards that day of rest and we still aren’t there yet. I tend to work in a longer cycle, often my “day of rest” isn’t Sunday but about every 9th day or so - so this really is ideas for the journey while still dodging headlights.
Before you begin get an idea of what that day of rest looks like. Never having a pause button, it took me a while to realize what rest was for me. I include time for prayer, reading (both spiritual and fun), some time for things like music, tv, and time for those I love and time alone.
Next, start in small doses. We started just with lunch after Mass. By packing regular workday bag lunches, or a treat at a restaurant, we were able to have family down time after church. While the kids raced around the park or the indoor playzone of the restaurant, my hubby an I were able to chat about the homily. Then we added in an afternoon get together with his family, eventually extending the time till dinner.
Yes! I think the hardest thing for us was remembering to keep Saturday a work day so that Sunday we didn’t have chores hanging over us. Our Sundays are awesome. Nothing amazing, it is just so good to be at rest, and be confident of that. I hadn’t heard the sundown thing . . . I like it. Need to think that through.
Great article! My family makes Sunday, the Lord’s Day, the most important day of the week. The only thing we make sure to do is go to Holy Mass. The rest of the day we reflect on the progress of the week and how God has blessed us with Sunday, a beautiful day of rest. We try everything in our will not to even go to a store or out to eat, because then we would be making others work for us. For the last couple of years, we have been taking Sunday off and we have been able to make so many amazing changes in our life that keep bringing us closer to the Kingdom of God. We remind ourselves that God made Sunday for us and in return we praise Him for his goodness.
Thank you, Camille, for the tips. It seems like I was getting there at one point, and then something went awry - no idea what - things just do, I guess. I don’t even have small children - we are empty nesters. But there just always seems to be so little time. Partly, I think because my husband still works and I desperately try to pack in all the “honey-dos” when he is around. I have been sincerely wanting to focus more on Advent this year, and here I am, already into it and rushing around like always. Ok - pray, pray, and pray again. I think I will try to make sure and get an adoration hour in this week and talk to The Lord about what I might need to let go of.
It may help to check out some of the books on simplifying your life. I recently went on a weekend about it and found it very helpful. Making lists and being flexible helps too. I like the idea of starting small and working up. And I too try not to go to stores etc on Sunday, as I do not want to be responsible for making others work. There can’t be anything more important than spending time with loved ones and helping each other get to know and love Our Lord - in prayer and play.
The Lord is speaking to me through this and through Maria von Trapp’s words…if only I would listen. As Wordsworth wrote, the world is too much with us. I am a 40-something, married, father of two. I am a teacher and writer, and I love the very many things that I do. Yet as I pause to write this, I see what I have long known. My constant activity and endless coming up with new projects is at once a narcotic and a thrill drug. I use the great and wonderful activities that I invent for myself as a shield of protection for fear of what others may ask or demand of me. If I keep myself busy enough with my own projects, I will not have to be busy with the demands of others. At the same time, the world gives me much praise for the many things I do, and I thoroughly enjoy all of them. There is an addictive quality to acts of creation, whether writing, woodworking, or leading a venture, to name just a few of my favorite drugs. I post this in part as thanks to Jennifer for this piece, but mostly as confession. I pray for the strength to approach such peace.
We’ve made Sunday a day of rest for a long time in our household. The way we do it has fluctuated and changed over the years; currently, most Sundays, my husband gets up early and takes the baby (who also gets up early) with him to the earliest Mass. Then I get a half hour with a cup of tea before my other kids get up, and I get myself ready for church. Later I take my older kids to noon Mass with me; some weeks we head to the library (ours is open on Sunday) to return books. Some weeks I take the kids out for a special lunch. We try not to eat out too often on Sundays, but it is a treat to not be making lunch.
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Unless absolutely neccessary, we do not do housework, including laundry, on Sundays. I try to get caught up by Saturday, and my kids do their laundry on Saturday. We get the grocery shopping done on Friday or Saturday, so we are all stocked up for the weekend. Meals on Sunday are made by Dad, or are very easy like frozen pizzas.
The Lord has put it on my heart to try to avoid driving long distances on Sunday. In the past, I have often driven back to West Virginia from my mom’s house in Detroit on Sunday. It is a trip of over 350 miles and puts stress on both me, the one doing the driving, and her, worrying over my safety. For this Thanksgiving, I made my return trip to the Mountain State on Saturday. This allowed me to relax on Sunday before returning to work today.
Great article! I’ve been pondering making Sunday more restful, but I travel for work Mon-Thurs, and leave on Sunday afternoon. But my goal is relaxation from noon to 3 PM.
Thank you so much for this article. I needed to be “reminded” that God has given us a simple directive to live our lives on a daily basis… simply put…by doing things His way. I am one of those people that more times than not, will stay up through the night, trying to get “caught up.” I am thankful for this timely reminder… just in time for Advent.
Thank God for Sunday and Sunday rest!
My husband and I (married 49 yrs) live next door to one of our 4 married children and each Sunday we have “family meal” together and then pray the Family Rosary and all 5 grandchildren (oldest: 12 and youngest: 2) pray with us and look forward to our “PrayerTime”...the youngest has the “duty” of passing out the Rosary beads!
This time of peace & prayer are gift from God!
Great post Jennifer, this really resonates and convicts me.
Thanks for this article. It has always been a struggle for us, and even more so now that kids are involved in sports. Saturday used to be a day for family chores - now it seems that we use Saturdays to take kids to sporting events so on Sunday we are catching up on what we should have done on Saturday. Also, we often attend Mass on Saturday evening (it is at 5:00 and it is the quietest Mass), but this does make Sunday seem like a “regular” day since we don’t go to church then. We have been rethinking our Mass strategy - the main purpose is for us all to try to attend the same Mass. We try to have at least one meal together on Sunday, with some time together in some sort of family prayer. I try not to go to the mall or the grocery unless it is an emergency. Fortunately, none of my children or my husband have to work on Sunday. Interestingly, my husband got a lot of flack from a men’s faith sharing group when he suggested that one should not engage in menial labor on Sunday. Fortunately, the catechism is clear on this, but it seems that men as well as women also have the struggle to set aside this Sabbath time, maybe even more so!
Unless our attitude is changed, we will not feel like taking rest on Sundays. As we are engaged in improving our future in wealth and in position we always tend to work, tend to look after our family and so on. The fact that God wants us to take rest, to remember him and our fellowmen is not taken seriously. The modern civilization with all its globalisation and industrialisation does not give enough weight to the individuals who run the whole show.
I live alone and it is almost impossible to completely rest on Sundays. I must carefully time the dishes and laundry during the week, but it almost never comes out right. I am also collecting unemployment and it is very difficult to justify refusing a job that mandates-without exception-working full time on weekends.
Except for mass, right now it is very much like every other day of the week until my life gets back to normal.
There is a deeper issue to explore here as well - why people have a need to be so busy and fill up every minute of the day doing stuff.
Is it fear of being alone with your thoughts (i.e. people who talk incessantly)?
Is it ego - is complaining about how busy you are really you bragging about your importance or accomplishments?
Is it poor self worth - do you have to prove yourself to others or act the victim?
For some people it really is just about making a decision to observe the commandment and make time for the Lord. For others I think it means having to face some pathological habits and behaviors of modern society as well.
REMEMBER the Sabbath Day to keep it holy. Six days shall thou labor and do all thy work. God has already made Saturday a day of rest. He has also sanctified it.From sunset Friday evening to sunset Saturday evening is HOLY TIME. Trying to establish and sanctify another day as a universal day of rest, runs contrary to the demands of the Holy Scriptures.
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