A lot of women are getting worked up over some anti-pregnancy comments fitness guru Jillian Michaels made in a recent interview with Women’s Health.
“I’m going to adopt. I can’t handle doing that to my body,” Michaels told the new issue of Women’s Health magazine. “Also, when you rescue something, it’s like rescuing a part of yourself.”
This is not surprising, of course. Ms. Michaels suffered obesity as a child, and today she makes her living selling herself as a fitness expert. I’m not going to tell her she should throw away her money-making fit image in order to embrace motherhood. And neither can I join all of those who are denouncing her comments for the harmful message they send to young women about body image:
“She is teaching people about body image and self-esteem. Women who have children all the time and get right back in shape particularly if they exercise,” Dr. Leslie Seppinni, a Los Angeles-based Family Therapist & Clinical Psychologist tells Fox News. “If this is how she truly feels, she should seek counsel before coaching others on issues of body image.”
Ummm ... can I just say something here? This idea that “women get right back in shape, particularly if they exercise” is not exactly accurate. Really, people. Talk about setting women up for body image issues. With her comments, Dr. Seppinni is doing just that—in the name of protecting women from false assumptions.
Michaels is absolutely right in her assumption that pregnancy costs your body something. Of course it does. Physical consequences from pregnancy might be different for every woman, and the changes might not always be dramatic, but big and small things about the female body absolutely do change with pregnancy—forever. Why would anyone try to deny that?
Michaels is not wrong because she recognizes that pregnancy takes a physical toll on a woman’s body. She’s wrong because she thinks that motherhood is something you do for yourself. She thinks it’s about “rescuing something” to rescue a part of yourself.
If you think of parenthood as something you do for yourself, it will of course seem nonsensical to become a parent in a way that might cost you something.
What’s missing in Michaels’ opinion, and the opinions of those who are outraged by her comments, is recognition of the fact that marriage and motherhood (Yes, these two go together) are a God-given privilege and a calling. Like all callings, motherhood involves participation in the cross.
Whether it’s adoptive or biological, motherhood comes with many joys, but it hurts too. It costs us. In big ways and in small ways that are different for every woman.
It’s not about us. It’s about something much bigger than that. Without a Christian understanding of our participation in something greater than ourselves and the redemptive value of suffering, it’s awfully hard to make sense of it all.
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I don’t entirely disagree with you, Danielle, but I think for those who don’t watch her show or follow her occasional interviews, with an ability to read between the lines, they miss the real reason she’s not wanting to get pregnant. She was a fat kid, most people get that part, but what they don’t get is the level of trauma she experienced as a fat kid. The two are linked for her, and I suspect allowing her body to change is something she’s terrified of, not out of vanity, but because the cross she’s been given to carry is a heavy one.
Granted, she’s wrong about the nature of parenthood, but I think most non-parents are until they’ve become parents, am I wrong?
Very sad , she might want to realize that she has a hole in her heart if she thinks having children is bad. Yes your body images changes but you survive.
Beth has a point, doesn’t she?
Having seen and read some of what she says, I am not surprised at all. Image is very important to her as well as health issues. But, I am surprised that she - like so many others - see pregnancy as something women should not do, as if doing so is something foreign to our design. This couldn’t be further than the truth. We are designed - even with the flaws of sin - to share in God’s great plan of creation.
It isn’t always easy, it doesn’t always go according to our plan but when we fully cooperate with God being pregnant (I have found many, many times over) is amazing. And yes, I’ve managed to keep my shape as well-thanks to good genes and exercising :-)
I was a fat kid and I still had 6 pregnancies. What she is saying here is very selfish. Parenthood is a sacrament, a calling, a most amazing blessing! It’s also the most demanding, unselfish job you’ll ever do. Perhaps that is her problem? Doing something for someone not herself is out of her realm of understanding.
Thank you Danielle for this excellent article. I love that our knowledgable, prominent Catholic women are “weighing” in on this issue.
Kudos.
Another excellent article on this, written by Peggy Bowes is found here:
http://catholicexchange.com/2010/04/24/129596/
My hats off to all of you children are a blessing from God with some work and will power you can get back in to shape Jillian is missing the point you are not going to ruin your body if you have a baby her remarks sound very self centered walking every day is a big step in the right direction she should under stand your body recover in time working out will help.
She claims to have conquered her weight problem at one time doesn’t she have any faith in herself that she could be pregnant and not become obese.Makes me think maybe she doesn’t have any faith in her own self. TOO bad
“It isn’t always easy, it doesn’t always go according to our plan but when we fully cooperate with God being pregnant (I have found many, many times over) is amazing.”
And sometimes fully co-operating with God’s plan is not “amazing” as in wonderful, but is a true Garden of Gethsemane and Cross experience and almost kills you. That was my last pregnancy. I had HG. www.helpher.org (This pg, my 4th, is going much better, praise Jesus.)
I think Danielle is right—denying the real possibilities of intense hardship, change and suffering in pregnancy does not help women.
Thank you, Danielle, you said it so well. Pregnancy, motherhood, they are hard. The hardest things I’ve ever done. They have not been kind at all to my body. I’ve had three c-sections. But thank God I’ve had the faith that helps me to make sense of my pain and suffering and to see the redemptive value in it. We should all pray for Jillian and all women who have not been so blessed, who are scared because they do not know the love of Christ which can redeem all our suffering.
Tough to judge. It is very plausible she could be dealing with infertility (she exhibits as possible PCOS or annovulation due to low BMI). I know other women who when faced with infertility will come up with such shallow excuses rather than state what they want to keep private. Also, if infertility is the issue, adoption is a much better route than the IVF that all the other celebs are doing.
In addition to my last post, my husband just pointed out that by Jillian mentioning wanting to adopt, maybe some young girl will think twice about abortion and put her child up for adoption instead.
That aside, whenever I am feeling a little self-centered about my appearance, I glance at my belly full of stretch marks and extra skin from my four pregnancies. I am quickly reminded that God made me a mother - not for me, but for them!
You know, I would comment here, but I am too tired from nursing the baby after the vicious YMCA workout, this afternoon, followed by the oragnic gourmet meal I prepared for my fourteen member immediate family whenqwe finished our homeschool science projects, and the four daily loads of laundry I folded, in between the pedicure, manicure, daily facial I needed to give myself after I prepared my own lotions and hair creams from herbs I grew in my yard, and finished making jewelry that I sell on the side on line so I can save for those ultimate mom makeovers I will unfortunately not be able to delay forever, in spite of all my self-sufficient skill in self-maintenance and ‘good genes’. Check back with me next Wednesday between 4:05 pm and 4:22 pm, that’s after soccer and before ballet/piano, and I can fill you in on why I think we have more problems here than just Jillian’s misconceptions about pregnancy.
I think the aspect of what Danielle is saying perfectly correct. I am in the pro-life movement and 100% pro-life, applaud her for that and stop nit picking. We all give up a big part of our life to have children, I did and let me tell you it was the best time of my life.
As I raised them I did try to maintain a good shape and eat healthy, there is nothing wrong with that
Pro-creation is the best gift the Lord has given us, but it is not for everyone and it is without a doubt about the mother being ready to give up a huge part of her life to have a child, abuse and neglect are often side effects of women and men not being ready.
I think she is absolutely correct and I do know that having children is a gift and I did give up my life to have them and I would do it all over again. It was the best time of my life, I did not work, I stayed home and loved every minute of it. Why don’t u people applaud her for her honesty? She is not promoting abortion.
If there are underlyining medical reasons, if you have tried but were unable to conveive or to bring forth a living child—adoption is our only way to be “mothers.” To have children of our hearts, if not our bodies.
But without a physical impediment, to simply chose that “I will not go through a pregnancy” because I will “appear fat.” What crap!
I have suffered through repeated miscarriages—I would have dearly loved to have been pregnant for the full term and bring forth a child. I’m at the “change of life” and pass the point.
Yea, maybe someone with an ill-planned or unplanned and inconvient pregnancy might, just might read this and consider the ultimate act of giving up her child for adoption.
My greatest concern: when opinions such as these are expressed in such a large venue, the consequences can be disastrous. Right now, somewhere in America, a young woman is struggling with the real fear of bearing a child. Maybe her pregnancy was unintentional, perhaps she’s unmarried and frightened of what the future may hold and has bravely decided to that maybe, just maybe adoption is a better alternative than taking the life of her child. Now…imagine…she’s reading a newspaper, magazine or watching Good Morning America and she hears Jillian Michaels say “I can’t handle doing that to my body,” mentally skipping over the whole first part “I’m going to adopt…”
Fear is a powerful emotion. Just as Michaels is motivated by her fear of obesity, this young woman may now share that fear…for completely different reasons. If a “fitness expert” fears the physical repercussions of a natural process like pregnancy, what hope is there for this poor, frightened pregnant girl? Like Beth (see above), I do think that are larger issues at play for Michaels…she has suffered trauma, and seems to have very little confidence in her ability to combat the demons of her past. But her comments…they are so damaging to young womanhood and to those struggling with real life and death issues (abortion vs. adoption vs. parenthood). I won’t judge her or trash her, but I pray that her words do as little damage as possible to those most vulnerable…
Why is no one saying the obvious: Body image DOESNT MATTER AT ALL IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS!!!!!!!!! A woman who is married doesnt really need to care about body image and looking good, she’s got a baby to take care of now!!!!! That’s the first and only priority so far. First of all, many women tell me that picking up the baby all the time, holding him/her for long periods of time, running up and down stairs, carrying cribs, diaper bags and other heavy things can be exersise itself and keep the woman in shape. Besides, if the girl is married, who does she have to impress with a musclely body and no signs of stretch marks? Her husband is married and committed to her, her job of impressing him is over, he’s not going anywhere. By the time a couple is ready to have another baby, according to proper spacing and making sure the first baby is ok and growing up properly (no sign of autism or other developmental issues), the woman probably will be fine looking anyways. And even if she doesnt look like howhe did on her wedding night, is that so terrible? You dont have sex in marriage to look good, you have sex to “be fruitful and multiply”.....
Johnny Cath-I wish you could manufacture a label with this on it:
“You dont have sex in marriage to look good, you have sex to “be fruitful and multiply”.....
and stamp it on , oh well, every magazine stand at the store, every cosmetic counter in the mall, every men’s venue for anything, every gymnasium, every. advertisement for toothpaste… well every…everything. Maybe, then maybe you would get some out there to pause for a moment and consider it, but in a culture where billions are spent on pornography-not likely.
It is women who need their minds renewed, but it is also very much the men who need their values reblued.
Johnny, Sorry but image does matter, there is nothing wrong
with wanting to look nice and appealing to your spouse. Porn
is absolutely wrong, but u are extreme with this. A woman wanting to
feel attractive is perfectly ok and our right as a women, as long as we keep in mind that beauty starts from within.
The most important issue here is abortion, that is the bottom line. Out of all these letters Kimberly is probably closest to the truth, as I see it. Beauty should not be used as a weapon against having a child, and I don’t feel it was, and even if it was adopting may be the best choice for some, I was adopted. I think we need to keep the focus here which is she is not promoting abortion and she is celebrating beauty, nothing wrong with that.
I think it’s laudable that Ms. Michaels is considering adoption, and not rejecting parenthood altogether like so many young people are these days. There are many people in their 20’s and 30’s who refuse to even consider parenthood. How sad.
Not all women “should” have babies. Yes, physically we all can have a baby and it doesnt take much to “make” one yet I have seen quite afew women with their babies out shopping who should “not” have children just by their actions. Not all women are Natural Mothers.
Ok everyone I am not saying all woman should have children some are not cut out for it but for those of you who have well done I know its not easy my Mom had six hers had 11 my Dads 8 it worked because both Fathers supported their Wife’s when it came to the children it is a partner ship thank you all.
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