Ever-growing numbers of parents are experiencing the heartbreak of having their children tell them they’re transgender, and some are speaking out about their ordeals.
Tragically, like something out of Brave New World, they’re doing so anonymously for fear of being reported to Child Protective Services and losing custody of their children.
In a piece written for Public Discourse, authors calling themselves “Five Anonymous Moms” detail the suffering they and their children are dealing with.
The common thread that runs through each mother’s narrative is the role that the internet and peers played in their daughters’ decisions to identify as transgender. The internet, especially social media sites and apps such as Tumblr and Instagram, can lead our children down rabbit holes of misinformation and downright evil. That same technology also allows kids to be hyper-connected to their peers, making their influence greater than ours. Protecting children from online dangers and influences must become a priority for parents.
I wrote my book, Don’t Let the Culture Raise Your Kids, to give parents the tools and resources needed to be the primary influence in their children’s lives, to tame the technology beast that threatens their well-being, their future, and their faith, and to win the battle over a culture hell-bent on wreaking havoc on childhood. (The book is also available at Amazon.)
Here are the devastating stories of the five anonymous moms.
When her 13-year-old daughter announced to the first mother that she was actually her transgender son, it followed a school presentation on the subject. Five percent of the school’s student body already identified as trans or “nonbinary.” “In my daughter’s world – in real life and online – transgender identities are common, and hormones and surgeries are no big deal,” this mom writes. The gender clinician she consulted told her to accept her daughter’s new identity, use masculine pronouns and purchase a binder to flatten her breasts. She had nowhere to turn. It’s now been four years, and her daughter plans to medically transition when she turns 18.
This mother decries the media for glamorizing trans-identified children. “I have written to well over 100 journalists, begging them to write about what is happening to kids. I wrote to my representative and senators, but have been ignored by their staff… We parents are ignored and vilified, while our children are suffering in the name of inclusivity and acceptance.”
Another mother describes her 14-year-old daughter announcing that she was “trans” after spending large amounts of time online. At the same time, she was diagnosed with ADHD, depression and anxiety. “But the mental health professionals seemed mainly interested in helping her process her new identity as a male and convincing me to accept the notion that my daughter is actually my son,” she writes. When her daughter was 16, she was taught by a pediatric endocrinologist how to inject herself with testosterone. After running away to Oregon, she changed her name and legal gender, and underwent a double mastectomy and a radical hysterectomy – all without her mother’s knowledge or consent.
“My once beautiful daughter is now 19 years old,” she continues, “homeless, bearded, in extreme poverty, sterilized, not receiving mental health services, extremely mentally ill, and planning a radial forearm phalloplasty (a surgical procedure that removes part of her arm to construct a fake penis.)… Why are doctors, who took an oath to first do no harm, allowed to sterilize and surgically mutilate mentally ill, delusional children?”
The daughter of the third anonymous mother returned from a sleepaway camp believing she was a boy. Without her mother’s knowledge, she had been placed in a cabin with girls who were “socially transitioning” to live as boys. Of particular note is that this mother and her partner are lesbians. “We may be lesbians,” she writes, “but we are not confused about biology… We listened to her, gave her the space to talk about her feelings, and tried hard not to convey to her that we were utterly horrified by this revelation.”
As they looked for information, they found “evidence of a social contagion all over the internet. YouTube, Instagram, Twitter and Reddit supplied a how-to guide and handbook on transitioning…” This mother rightly bemoans the role of the media and what she calls the “pathetic capitulation” of medical professionals.
The fourth mother writes that everything changed when her daughter went to college, where transgender identities were celebrated. After experiencing anxiety and depression, the daughter moved back to her hometown and began psychological counseling. She shaved her head and began to wear boys’ clothing. “She parroted online advice: ‘I always knew something was wrong but didn’t have words for it until I started watching videos on Tumblr and YouTube’,” this mother writes. “‘When I was little, I was afraid to tell you that I didn’t feel right.’ This narrative matched nothing about her past.”
Thanks to Planned Parenthood, her now 20-year-old daughter has begun to take cross-sex hormones.
At the age of 17, the daughter of the fifth mother declared that she was “really a guy.” That came after what this mom describes as “immersion on Tumblr” and after two of her closest friends announced that they were transgender. Now 20 years old, her daughter has been on testosterone for a year and has an appointment for a consult regarding a double mastectomy. “All this,” she writes, “even though she can’t legally buy an alcoholic drink. I can’t get answers from doctors in response to my questions and concerns about the risks of these ‘treatments.’…Having to watch these adults enable my daughter to do this with no medical science to back it up is a scenario that I never dreamed any parent would have to face, at least not in the United States. But this is our reality now – a reality that the mainstream media won’t touch.”
My heart goes out to these mothers. They are right to be angry at the media for glamorizing transgenderism. And they are right to be angry at the medical establishment for endangering the lives of young people who experience gender dysphoria.
It’s a dangerous world for our children. And it’s time for parents to wake up and do everything possible to protect them from the many dangerous lies-disguised-as-truth that can lure them into harm’s way.