A Catholic Dictionary for a New Generation
What Catholics really mean by BFF, In the Hood, Truthiness and more
Are we speaking the same language? Not always. It’s a new day. That calls for some new definitions, or in some cases, a review of the old and sometimes forgotten ones.
If you think I’ve missed a few, let me know in the comment section. I’ll give you credit for them if there’s a second edition dictionary article.
BFF: The Blessed Mother
Body and Blood: Jesus not kidding around in John 6
Cafeteria Catholics: People who claim membership in a Church they don’t believe in
Catholic: Last Man Standing
Catholic Hipster: A millennial seen wearing scapular or medals and acting old-school Catholic
Counter-Cultural: A Catholic still standing
Exorcist: Directs supernatural guerilla warfare, kicking butt and taking names
Fake News: Serpent in the garden, the Reformation, sexual revolution
Feminism: (old) Equal rights plus abortion on demand
Feminism: (new) Equal rights plus recognition of equal dignity of men and women with integral and complementarity strengths, perspectives and roles
Freedom: Ability to do what is right. Sometimes mistaken for license to sin, which would mean God and the angels are not free.
Haters: Anyone calling someone else a hater. “I’m rubber and you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you,” comes into play here.
Holy Spirit: The Force
In a Relationship: Response when Protestant asks if you are saved
In the Hood: Capuchin and Franciscan friars
La-La Land: Where Cafeteria Catholics live
Marriage: “Covenant by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life and which is ordered by its nature to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring,” and which “has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament between the baptized.” (CCC1601)
Mr. Know-It-All: (Term inspired by 2011 Kelly Clarkson song by same name.) Epitomizes the words of G.K. Chesterton: “We do not really want a religion that is right where we are right. We want a religion that is right where we are wrong.”
New Age: Refurbished pagan chic
Nones: Acronym for those who think No One Needs Eternal Salvation
Nuns: Church-class chicks
Power of One: Mother Angelica
Prayer: Wireless connection
Religious Habits: Fashion statements
Ransomware: Internet porn
Saved (adj): Describes the state of being possible only after the race has been run. (1 Corinthians 9:24)
Saved (v) When someone joins your side in a comment section
S.W.A.T. Team: Deliverance teams—Spiritual Weapons And Tactics
Terminator: St. Michael
The Atheist Debate: No Way vs. Yahweh
The Cleanse: Confession
The Weapon: The rosary
To Die For: The Catholic faith
Truthiness: Statements by Cafeteria Catholic to defend disobedience
Undercover Agents: Guardian angels
Unfriend: When the threshold for turning the other cheek on Facebook is reached
Whatevs: Last comment before unfriending
Woot: Synonym for Hallelujah
Patti Maguire Armstrong Patti (Maguire) Armstrong is an award-winning journalist and was managing editor and co-author of the bestselling Amazing Grace Series. Her latest books are the humorous and inspirational second-edition Dear God, I Don't Get It, Dear God, You Can't Be Serious!, What Would Monica Do? and Holy Hacks. Patti worked in social work and public administration before staying home as a freelance writer while she and Mark raised their 10 children in North Dakota. Follow her on Twitter at @PattiArmstrong and read her blog at PattiMaguireArmstrong.com.
