National Catholic Register

Culture of Life

Lenten Reading: 'The Gargoyle Code'

BY Father Dwight Longenecker

February 10-23, 2013 Issue | Posted 2/13/13 at 12:19 PM

 

For the beginning of Lent, we publish this excerpt from Father Dwight Longenecker’s book The Gargoyle Code: which focuses on Luciferian letters for Lent.

Written in the style of C.S. Lewis’ classic Screwtape Letters, there is a letter for every day in Lent. 

"Last February, the listening posts of the International Intelligence Agency intercepted and unscrambled a series of messages that were sent electronically from sources unknown to destinations that have yet to be specified.

"These communications were filtered out from the millions of faxes, text messages, emails, Internet forums and telephonic electronic impulses radiating through the atmosphere. They were disguised and coded within the billions of electronic mail signals transmitted and received every day, but seem to originate from a communications system that is independent of, yet parasitical on, the normal global electronic communication systems. Computer programs have now been able to unscramble and decode the messages. 

"Experts are still unclear who composed or sent the messages, but they seem to be instructions and training for undercover agents working in the field of religious propaganda. The first of the messages is incomplete. The fragment reads:

 

Ash Wednesday

Dear Dogwart,

You really don’t know what "all the ashes falderal is about"? You should have mastered this in your basic training. Don’t underestimate the enemy Dogwart. What you perceive as silly mummery and play acting they take very seriously.

They smear ashes on their heads today as a sign of "repentance." "Repentance" is their term for groveling before the enemy and pretending to be sorry. The ashes are supposed to remind them that they are from dust and ashes and will return to dust and ashes. They actually seem to enjoy saying "sorry." It’s the same disgusting enjoyment they get in having a hot bath; they all but grunt in their piggy pleasure. I hate it Dogwart! It turns my stomach to see them line up with their solemn faces and bowed heads! Then they play their funereal music and go home feeling all holy. Ashes! They want ashes! I’ll show the nauseating chimpanzees ashes — but not before they have some flames first! Lord Below Dogwart! I’d love to get some of them down there where they belong! I’d love to practice my old pitchfork skills and turn a few of them on the slow rotisserie. That’d show the hairless bipeds. 

What is most maddening is that you and I know what sort of stuff they’re up to. That fat man, who has lied and cheated his way to the top, parades down to get his ashes like an innocent child. That skinny woman who thinks she’s beautiful? We know about the affairs when she was young. We know about the abortions, the betrayals and the manipulation of men with her sex appeal. Then she minces forward in her little high heels and plays the penitent! It’s all fake Dogwart, believe me. It’s all make-believe. None of them really mean it. They only do it to show off and make themselves feel better.

Even worse is the fact that the enemy encourages their pathetic little play. He’s shameless! He actually seems to like it when they grovel and apologize all the time. And then he blames our Father below for being proud! The hypocrisy of it turns my stomach!

By the way, you can learn to mind your own business if you please. I know my patient attended Mass this morning. Don’t worry. I’ve got my man firmly in control. You don’t seem to realize that they can go to Mass and go through all the routines and miss the point entirely.

I’ve got my patient wrapped up in ultra-conservative Catholicism. Yes, he went to Mass and received his ashes, but all he thought about was the fact that the visiting priest’s homily was too informal and folksy and that he committed three liturgical errors and smiled too much. 

You blame me for allowing him to attend Mass, but it was by attending Mass in his usual frame of mind that I was able to keep him in a nice state of spiritual pride. He went to Mass and went through all the motions, but came out feeling more smug and self-righteous than ever.

Trust me, dear boy, it takes some finesse to get a patient to live constantly in a state of spiritual pride, but the achievement is very pleasing. The delightful thing about spiritual pride is that the patient really does believe himself to be good, and he is therefore invulnerable to anything the enemy’s agents throw at him.

You’ll do well to avoid criticizing your betters Dogwart. Leave my patient to me and pay attention to your own. You’re so pleased that your boy didn’t go to Ash Wednesday Mass, but where did he go? My agents in charge of the Internet tell me that he went onto a Catholic website, suddenly remembered that he hadn’t been to Ash Wednesday Mass and before bed made what they call "an act of perfect contrition." You lose Dogwart. That was far more of a real blow than my man traipsing off to church with his spiritual nose in the air." 

Father Dwight Longenecker is the parish priest of Our Lady of the Rosary Church in Greenville, South Carolina. Browse his books, connect to his blog and contact him through his website at DwightLongenecker.com.