The Stupidest Thing Ever Said on Television
BY Matthew Archbold
| Posted 11/13/12 at 11:01 PM
Ladies and gentleman, stick your nose under the tent and witness a bizarre fun house world. Why, inside anything is possible. Corey Feldman may be talented, Ed Schultz smart, and the CW televising shows for the thinking man.
Please cast your eyes on the exhibit of the stupidest things ever said in the history of television. To understand just how stupid a statement has to be to get on this list, nobody from the cast of The View even got an honorable mention. Yeah, that stupid.
Yes, sometimes someone says something so stupid that it actually has been known to make viewers brain cells cry. When faced with such a black hole of reason, a smattering of IQ points have been known to crawl out of ears and gone off to find a Dolph Lundgren double feature, never to be seen again. Step right up and watch CBS's Nancy Giles beclown herself by saying...wait for it... that the reason white people are "trying to eliminate all these abortions" is "to build up the race."
Are you o.k.? I know that's a lot to take in. You need smelling salts? Reportedly the blunt force trauma of this stupidity was so severe that a nearby MENSA convention began arguing over Jar Jar Binks. Oh wait, that actually happens all the time.
I'll talk you through this. It's kinda' like I'm talking you through diffusing a bomb. So let's me and you cut through these wires. Real slow like.
So, according to Giles, racists who used to dehumanize and do violence to black people are now cleverly trying to humanize and save black babies because...this is where my neurons get tired and want to take a nap because that's what my neurons do when faced with George Clooney levels of stupidity.
Here's a few facts that will serve as a life raft in this sea of insanity. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, black women account for about 36 percent of the country's reported abortions, even though blacks are less than 13 percent of the population.
I think that even pro-lifers can figure that out that if you secretly hated black people and wanted them to disappear, you should encourage abortion. You with me?
Left unquestioned by CBS' resident genius racist radar were the likes of Planned Parenthood which has 78% of their clinics in minority communities.
Or what about the comments of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Vader Ginsburg who said she thought that legalized abortion would be just perfect for limiting "populations that we don't want to have too many of." Hmmm. I'm baffled. Who do you think she was talking about? Rich white people like herself? Probably not.
So let it be known that from this day forward Nancy Giles has declared war on sanity.
But what makes this moment even more amazing is that the four people she was speaking with didn't react with a sudden onslaught of exploding brain disease. Not only did the host Melissa Harris-Perry survive the bombardment of babble, she got on her pom-poms and cheered it on, saying, ”There’s always eugenics associated with these questions.”
And Giles added, ”How creepy, right?”
What? Normal people need a translator at this point because Giles and Perry seem to be communicating on a level that nobody outside MSNBC can understand. This level of ludicrousness is so rarely heard that I'll try to put it in a way that's understandable. Giles was like the mad scientist who created an abomination that if released into the population would destroy everything. Melissa Harris-Perry just opened the lab door and gave it a map to Tokyo.
Now, later, when people started pointing and laughing at Giles, she tweeted that she was joking and gave one of those I'm sorry if you're offended apologies. This might be a record of sorts because of Giles' ability to fit two untruths in a twitter statement of 140 characters or less. Because she wasn't actually apologizing and she wasn't actually joking.
I've heard that Bob Saget and Carrot Top are considering lawsuits because they thought jokes that aren't remotely funny were their areas of expertise. Everyone else was just considering suing for damages.
The thing is that not only is Giles accusing pro-lifers of the worst kind of evil, she's also saying they're the stupidest villains since the guy who called the cops because his drug dealer shortchanged him. On the strength of these comments alone, she'll likely be offered a prime-time slot on MSNBC. At least there she can't hurt anybody.
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