BY Simcha Fisher
| Posted 4/24/12 at 7:00 AM
Some families are Franciscan in their spirituality; some are more Ignatian. Some families draw their inspiration from the Rule of St. Benedict. And some families are just winging it.
Here are a couple of pages from the Fisher Family prayerbook:
Parents' Morning Blessing
Father of mercies, we ask you to bless these children, which, with some uncharacteristically poor judgement, you have entrusted to our care. Make them strong enough to follow your ways, kind enough to spread your love, and smart enough not to repeat what Daddy said about people with Obama bumper stickers on their cars. Let these children be a beacon in a dark world. Let them be a shining witness for the culture of life. And let somebody come by with another few bushels of hand-me-downs, because the boys all grew out of their pants again last night.
Children's Prayer Before Meals
Bless us, o Lord, and these thy gifts, which we are going to refuse to eat for no particular reason. We enjoy all the individual ingredients therein, and have secured promises from our mother that there is not even one little bit of onion in this dish, and yet we will not eat thereof. We don't know why we act this way; we just do.
[Anoint dish three times with ketchup, so they will be useless as leftovers.]
We beseech thee, o Lord, to make lots of Cheese Nips appear in the cabinet, so that we will not have to go hungry. We depend on your kindness, o bountiful God. We thank you for never trying to get us to eat eggplant, and we call upon your just judgements when our mother appears before your courts, and beg you to remember that she did, in fact, try to get us to eat eggplant.
Prayer When Preparing a Pet for Christian Burial
Lord, we pray that the neighbors don't notice we're doing this again.
Prayer Before Mass
Almighty God, as we approach your altar to participate in the divine sacrifice of your only-begotten Son, we wonder what we think we are doing here. We are jerks. We are incredible hypocrites. We spent the morning primping in front of the mirror, shrieking at the kids, and pouting at our husbands. We approach you with fear and trembling, and wonder if there's any possible way we could be reconciled to you in your goodness and your glory.
Then we behold the crucifix; and we say, "Oh."
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