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Top 10 Reasons to Have Eight Children

BY Tom Hoopes

| Posted 3/11/10 at 12:42 AM

 

There are important matters to discuss, but I have no time at the moment! So I discuss this important matter instead ... here are my Top 10 Reasons to for my family of 10 (10 including Mom and Dad).

10. Even when four kids are away, you still have four kids who aren’t.

9. They will cure your obsessive tidiness.

8. On the one hand, there’s the constant wailing and weeping. On the other, there’s the generous per-child federal tax credit.

7. When people say, “Are they all yours?” You can answer, “They belong to the wind, the stars and the burbling brook, and I belong to the moon.” Then watch the look they give you.

6. Like Niagara Falls, the grocery bills are always awe-inspiring and impressive.

5. They hone your conflict mediation skills.

4. There’s always someone to burden with your unfulfilled dreams, punish with your unrealistic expectations and cripple with your emotional insecurities.

3. You never have to worry about leftovers.

2. The oldest two are your personal critics; the next two are your personal comedians; the next two are your personal fan club; the last two are portable arm-held heaters.

1. Because I can’t imagine being without any one of them.