It takes a great deal to ruffle a New Yorker.

I'm not referring to the foreigners from Wyoming and Kentucky who come to New York City because they have a passing interest in theater. I mean hardboiled, dyed-in-the-wool New Yorkers whose progenitors came here by boat. The ones you don't want to meet in a dark alley unless of course, they've come to help defend you in a fight in a dark alley.

A kerfuffle earlier this year about Chick-fil-A restaurants in Manhattan came close to ruffling a few feathers. (Pun intended.)

Apparently, good ol' Bill de Blasio, the mayor whose only fault is that he's incapable of saying anything intelligent or morally consistent, balked at the audacity of Chick-fil-A opening franchises in New York City. A city which is practically dedicated to Mammon itself.

Bill was up in arms because Chick-fil-A is owned by (duh-duh-dun) Christians who apparently aren't thrilled about homosexuality being an acceptable lifestyle and with the whole gay marriage business.

Bill tried to convince New Yorkers to boycott the restaurant but New Yorkers, true to form, ignored him. His goose was as well-cooked as those delicious chicken fillets that the restaurant chain insists upon misspelling.

Despite how much the mayor decried the homophobic, patriarchal, animal-abusive Chick-fil-A, all three of their Manhattan locations are still bustling with business.

The less talk about all of the political backlash Mayor De Blasio has gotten, the better—for him at least. He managed to upset all of the people to whom he should be indebted. And though I've never held public office, l dare say this is counter-indicated.

De Blasio was still able to stir the pot a tiny little bit, though. Homosexual and so-called “animal rights” activists picketed the store pontificating about why it is that their personal values—by force of law, logic or diagnosable mental illness—must be accepted nolens volens, without the benefit of discussion or reality.

But despite (or perhaps because of) the distress of the activists, Christians descended upon all three sites and staged their own counter-protests.

Finally, both sets of protestors went to their respective corners in a stalemate, leaving New Yorkers to enjoy their well-seasoned chicken sandwiches.

Anyone could tell you that chicken sandwiches and gay marriage make odd bedfellows.

Sweet irony of ironies, Chick-fil-A plans to open 12 new franchises in New York State this year.

Sometimes, right makes might.

The problem here is extremists and their cognitively dissonant desire for what can only be called "imperialistic anarchy."

They want both the "right" to do anything they want AND the right to shut down all intelligent dialogue and compromise, forcing the opposition to agree "willingly" to anything they can imagine. Of course, this is perfect, unadulterated madness. And yet, here we are

The Extremist Leftist Fundamentalist believes:

  • that though no objective morality could ever exist, they, and no one else, coincidently possesses it and the fact that they have opinions means that they must be right (i.e., the nonsensical "The Right to be Right");
  • in the right to ignore science, history, culture, wisdom, logic and plain old-fashioned reality;
  • in their right to impose their opinion upon others (i.e., Christians exclusively as they have no interest in challenging Muslims, Jews or Buddhists.);
  • Western culture, Catholicism, men, heterosexuals and erudition are always wrong;
  • everyone is equal but some people are more equal;
  • the opposition's must be crushed using any and all means available; resistance is futile.

The cure to this ridiculousness is the Political Golden Rule: "Legislate only that which you don't mind having others legislate against you."

Try this brainteaser on one of them next time you want to waste 15 minutes of your life:

Left: "The government should stop all farms that kill animals for human consumption!"

Right: "But that's just your values. You can't impose those on others."

Left: "Oh, yes I can! Because this is a matter of morality and everyone should do as I say because… I really feel I'm right!"

Right: "Ah! I see! You mean that if I say that abortion is wrong and that it's a moral issue, then you would abandon all of your opinions and agree with me. Right?"

Left: "Oh! No! Abortion isn't a matter of morality! It's everyone's choice to do whatever they wish!"  

Right: "I completely agree! It's just like the choice people have of what they should eat." 

Left: "You're trying to confuse me!"  

Right: "No…I think you came that way. All I'm saying is that if you have the right to impose your values on me, then I have the same right to impose my values on you."

Left: "Oh, no! I can do anything I want… but you have to do exactly as I tell you!"

Right: "Exactly correct…I can do anything I want…but you have to do exactly as I tell you."

Left: "You're trying to control me!"

Right: "No…actually, I'm just copying your bad logic. And if you can't agree with yourself, there's even less reason why I should do so."

The forces of evil are amassing even as you read this very well-written and oddly prophetic article. Be attentive to fundamentalists from both the right and left who try to pass off pseudologic as logic, and pseudoscience as science, and revisionist history as accurate history. They substitute anti-intellectualism and emotionalism for erudition and logic.

These are the tools of the Enemy, and the Enemy must be resisted.