See also:
"Support for Adult Children of Homosexuals"
"Forgotten Voice in the Marriage Debate"
LONDON, Ontario — Dawn Stefanowicz says she knows from personal experience that what the American College of Pediatricians recommends is true.
She is a Canadian woman who grew up in a homosexual household. She says Americans wouldn’t support same-sex “marriage” if they understood how it can harm children.
Stefanowicz, author of the book Out From Under: the Impact of Homosexual Parenting, rejects the claim of homosexual activists that same-sex households are just as healthy for kids as heterosexual homes.
“That hasn’t been my experience or the experience of people who have contacted me who have been raised in a similar situation,” said Stefanowicz. “We’ve all faced negative challenges in this kind of household.”
Brad Luna, director of communications for the Human Rights Campaign, disagreed with critics of same-sex households with children.
“My response would be to look at every major psychological and child-welfare national organization,” he said, “who have all come out and said that children raised with same-sex parents have no less development than children who were raised in a heterosexual relationship.”
But one organization that does not endorse homosexual parenting is the American College of Pediatricians.
“The environment in which children are reared is absolutely critical to their development,” the college states in a position statement about homosexual parenting posted in the “Position Statements” section of its website, acpeds.org.
“Given the current body of research, the American College of Pediatricians believes it is inappropriate, potentially hazardous to children, and dangerously irresponsible to change the age-old prohibition on homosexual parenting, whether by adoption, foster care, or by reproductive manipulation,” it says. “This position is rooted in the best available science.”
The American College of Pediatricians’ position statement references the many studies that have found that children thrive best in families with a married mother and father.
Dr. Michelle Cretella, a Rhode Island general pediatrician who is a board member of the American College of Pediatricians, said Luna is correct in saying that major medical groups have expressed support for homosexual parenting.
But she said that they have done so despite the fact that scientific research has not established that such families are as healthy for kids as married heterosexual families.
Faulty Comparisons
Cretella said that when the American Academy of Pediatrics endorsed same-sex parenting in 2002, it acted on the recommendation of a small committee that she says had an agenda.
The academy endorsed homosexual parents over the specific objections of some committee members who noted the flaws in the research studies that found same-sex parenting to be as healthy as heterosexual parenting, she said.
A key methodological flaw in those studies is that they compared the wellbeing of children in homosexual households to those raised in difficult circumstances such as single-parent households that resulted from divorce, Cretella said.
None of the studies compared children raised by homosexual parents to children with two heterosexual parents in a stable, loving marriage.
Said Cretella, “Because if you do that, and we have decades of studies that have compared children in a traditional home with children of single mothers, children of single fathers, adoptive children, stepfamilies, children raised by a mother and grandmother, and across the board socially, emotionally, intellectually and physically children reared physically by their two biological parents do better across all those measures.”
Cretella cited a recent meta-study conducted by two pro-homosexual researchers. It found that girls raised in homosexual households are more likely to be more aggressive, boys are likely to be less masculine and that both girls and boys engage in sexual experimentation at earlier ages and are more sexually promiscuous.
While the researchers who conducted the meta-study did not regard their findings as negative, Cretella said, “those of us on the pro-family side look at that and say, ‘No, you’re rearing children with some gender confusion and you’re putting them at risk for sexually transmitted diseases.’”
Another documented consequence of same-sex parenting is an increased likelihood that children of same-sex parents will claim a homosexual identity themselves. Cretella noted that multiple studies have found that homosexually behaving teens and young adults suffer increased rates of depression, anxiety, eating disorders, addictions and suicidal thoughts.
And in the case of boys who adopt a homosexual lifestyle because of the influence of their same-sex parents, Cretella said, they face a 30% chance of being dead or HIV-positive by the age of 30.
Personal Experience
Dawn Stefanowicz has personally experienced some of the negative consequences of homosexual parenting.
In the 1960s and 1970s, from the age of 10 months old, she was raised in a Toronto household where her chronically ill mother lived along with her father and a succession of his same-sex partners. Her father eventually died of AIDS in 1991.
Exposure to her father’s promiscuous homosexuality hurt Stefanowicz in a variety of ways, she says. The fact that he had multiple same-sex partners generated profound feelings of insecurity, she said.
“I always had that fear, beginning as a little child, that I could easily be discarded although I was a dependent living in this household and he happened to be my biological father,” Stefanowicz said. “His partners were more important than I was. That was the sense I had.”
Compounding her insecurity was the death by suicide of two of her father’s sexual partners, and the confusion she felt about her own sexual identity because she was a young girl living in a home where male homosexuality and transsexuality were held up as attractive qualities.
Said Stefanowicz, “It wasn’t good enough to be a girl.”
Stefanowicz said she also learned from an early age that she shouldn’t discuss what her family life was like. One of the things it included was accompanying her father to sites where the homosexual cruising subculture was occurring, such as parks and beaches and bathhouses.
Along with witnessing her father’s abnormal sexual behaviors, Stefanowicz said she also had to deal with other problems that he and his partners had, including mental health issues and addictions.
Other adults who were raised in same-sex households have told Stefanowicz that they had to wrestle with the negative consequences of the same kind of experiences.
Said Stefanowicz, “We see that as children and we are going to struggle with some of the same issues.”
Ignoring the Consqeuences
American College of Pediatricians board member Cretella said that the interests of children like Dawn are being ignored in the renewed debate over the legalization of same-sex “marriage” that was triggered by last month’s California Supreme Court decision legalizing such unions in that state.
“The way the issue has been framed by same-sex marriage activists is purely looking at individual rights — the rights of adults,” she said. “And they have removed any concept of family from the definition of marriage.”
Cretella said this ignores the historical fact that the primary purpose has always been to bond the father to his children and the children’s mother, in order to create a healthy family environment where children will thrive.
Said Cretella, “Marriage has everything to do with family.”
Catholic psychiatrist Dr. Richard Fitzgibbons, co-author of the Catholic Medical Association’s handbook “Homosexuality and Hope,” said that highlighting this negative reality for children is critically important in explaining why same-sex “marriage” should not be legalized.
“Children should not be placed in that lifestyle,” Fitzgibbons said. “All of the sociological and psychological research makes it clear that the gold standard for children is a family life with a mother and a father who are married.”
Stefanowicz agrees. Through her Christian faith and years of counseling, Stefanowicz was able to come to terms with the damage caused by her upbringing and subsequently to marry.
Today, she is an accountant and home schools her two children and operates a website, dawnstefanowicz.com, dedicated to providing support and healing to other people reared in homosexual families.
And she’s also determined to tell Americans about the heartbreak they are inviting if they allow courts and legislatures to legalize homosexual “marriage” nationally, as Canada’s federal parliament did in 2005.
Said Stefanowicz, “I’m hoping that many, many people will wake up and start looking at children’s best interests.”
Tom McFeely writes from
Victoria, British Columbia.
See also: "Support for Adult Children of Homosexuals"
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I am unable to understand why so much discussion on subjects which are not important for real catholics. The catholic Church and real believers know what is marriage, its sacredness etc. When there is no question of such marriages in our church why do we worry ? If some perverts calling themslves catholics go for such marriage, they are automatically excommunicated They do not have any faith in the Catholic Church. Those who do not subcribe to Catholic teachings and Jesus teachings are not catholics They are non catholics and they can be counselled or helped in other ways
As Catholics we are to be witnesses to the Truth of the Catholic Church.
We have to stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. From the
unborn, to children and to the aged. This topic is timely and relevant.
Not just to those good and faithful but to those in or out of the Church
who might be mislead. Our society is founded on the family, father,mother,and children and will face severe repercussions in the future if we don’t continue with such foundation.
“Blessed are the Merciful, for they shall obtain Mercy” - Jesus. (Mt 5-7)
Four of the “Spiritual Works of Mercy” are: Admonish sinners; Instruct the uninformed; Counsel the doubtful; be patient with those in error.
If we love our neighbors as God commanded, we will want them all to be in Heaven for eternity. This is TRUE love. Sin must not be tolerated. For the Church’s teaching on homosexual behavior, see CCC 2357 - 2359.
This IS an important issue. I know children, adopted by homosexuals, who have suffered irreparable damage - some acting out violent sexual acts against other children, because they see their two ‘fathers’ and their friends behaving this way. True, children need a loving home and some heterosexual homes are dysfunctional and harmful to children. But that’s not the issue. The issue is that homosexual acts are disordered and unnatural and children sense this and often feel shame and confusion. I do not condemn homosexual people for their sexual orientation but they should not try to force their way of life on others and they should not be adopting children and forcing these children to accept unnatural behavior as the norm. There should be an indept survey of children adopted by homosexuals…especially homosexual men…but that would not be a politically correct thing to do and so children suffer. We can only hope and pray that this will change…
I applaude this woman speaking out on her experience being raise by a sam sex couple.
The problem I feel as someone studying to be a substance abuse counselor and taking many psychology courses, I feel that same sex couples SHOULD not adopt or raise children.
The reason being? Children need to grow in an envoronment where there is both a male and female role model present. The child needs to obtain information of knowing the gender role. Unless there is a dominate other member within the household that is the opposite sex, such as a grandparent, I feel the child will become very confused—considering many same sex couples have someone that “Acts’ as a person of the opposite sex, yet is not following the truth of their own gender. (I also feel the same way about single mothers—they need a male role model AND they need it to be a consistant one, not a “flavor of the month” boyfriend)
Also, many homosexuals engage in “open relationships” hence, if most of these couples get a civil union, it is basically a fraud of commitment—resulting in a lack of morals, true commitment or self-value sexually that maybe passed on to the child.
Yes, everyone in america has rights, but when it comes to the children, we as a nation needs to speak up for their protection.
I certainly think that the Church should look for the truth wherever it is. Dawn S’s story is very sad. But I can tell you another sad story. I was teased and picked on every single day in elementary and junior high (much less in high school but still some) because I was not a typical boy. I was not swishy or feminine but I was not hyper masculine or good at sports and everyone assumed I was homosexual. This tormenting by the majority occurred with all boys who were thought to be “sissies.” I hated to go to school. Anyone over 40 knows this to be true - you don’t need a million dollar study to conclude what I’m driving at: If you are Gay,(or perceived to be) society’s treatment of you makes life very difficult. you’re less secure, less mentally stable. With this in mind, is it really a wonder why some Gay people have more problems? Right here in my own town, the Church aided a group with a campaign and they called it “no special rights for homosexuals.” Why is it a special right, if the ordinance is trying to give the SAME rights to everyone - you can’t fire someone or deny housing based only on their sexual orientation? How can you fire someone from their job and say “but we really “love” the sinner and “hate” the sin? So, the bottom line, if it really is true that homosexuals are terrible parents, by all means don’t give them children. But you have to have more than one study, more than one woman’s story to prove it to me.
I got so involved in telling my own story - I forgot to research “American College of Pediatrics”. This article represents them as being so neutral and mainstream and they are not.
From Wikipedia: (and I have read this other places - research it for yourself if you don’t believe me)
Several researchers complained that Facts About Youth misrepresented their findings.[4] Francis S. Collins, Director of the National Institutes of Health, made the following statement regarding the American College of Pediatricians on April 15, 2010: “It is disturbing for me to see special interest groups distort my scientific observations to make a point against homosexuality. The American College of Pediatricians pulled language out of context from a book I wrote in 2006 to support an ideology that can cause unnecessary anguish and encourage prejudice. The information they present is misleading and incorrect, and it is particularly troubling that they are distributing it in a way that will confuse school children and their parents.”[26] Other researchers who found that Facts About Youth misrepresented their work include Warren Throckmorton and Gary Remafedi.[4]
Jaroslaw, in Catholic understanding, marriage is *not* a right. This is something that the Holy Father pointed out in January (that couples do not have a “right” to a Catholic wedding). Not even heterosexual couples have an inalienable right to be married in the Church: marriage, like the priesthood, is a vocation. God has to call you to it, in the Catholic view (“what God has joined, let no man put asunder” Mk 10:9 and Mt 19:6). So it follows, therefore, that homosexuals who think that the Church should allow “gay marriage” are demanding special rights. Furthermore, the rest of society can’t be brow-beaten into accepting a homosexual union as a marriage. To force people to do so, such that even wedding photographers who refuse, as per their conscience, to photograph a gay wedding, is demanding special rights.
,
Please take a look at what we do and contact us.
http://www.safeairtesting.com
“Cretella said that when the American Academy of Pediatrics endorsed same-sex parenting in 2002, it acted on the recommendation of a small committee that she says had an agenda.”
## Opponents of same-sex parenting *don’t* have an agenda ? The objection is ridiculous & illogical, because it totally ignores the detail of the conclusions of the AAP, and it is those that matter. If same-sex parenting is healthy, the motives if thise saying are irrelevant; if it is not healthy, once motives of those denying or asserting it matter not at all. 12 x 12 = 144, regardless of one’s motives for saying so.
“...she says had an agenda”
## Is she unbiassed witness,with no interest either way, credible and trustworthy; and is she correct in her supposition ? No clues are given in the article, so it is impossible know whether she is well-informed & fair-minded & accurate, or the reverse.
“Cretella cited a recent meta-study conducted by two pro-homosexual researchers. It found that girls raised in homosexual households are more likely to be more aggressive, boys are likely to be less masculine and that both girls and boys engage in sexual experimentation at earlier ages and are more sexually promiscuous.”
## But why ? Maybe because they came from the USA, or were born under Capricorn, or were called Sam, or had parents who were keen on volleyball, or because their parents admired Sarah Palin, or for any number of reasons. Correlation is not causation. And what is *meant by* being “less masculine” ? Forgiveness and compassion and love are extremely unmasculine, by some standards; real men don’t forgive, they fight back, hard, until they win. So many say. Lack of intellectual rigour makes nonsense of the objections made in this article. It’s depressing. Or will any argument, however thin, do against the evil gays ? It seems so.
“While the researchers who conducted the meta-study did not regard their findings as negative, Cretella said, “those of us on the pro-family side look at that and say, ‘No, you’re rearing children with some gender confusion and you’re putting them at risk for sexually transmitted diseases.’””
## STIs are not caught by straight people ? That will be a news to a lot of them. A lot of gay people don’t have STIs - but “gay group does not have any STIs” is not news. As for being “pro-family”, straight people divorce, commit adultery, beat the stuffing out of family members, kill their children, and commit other abominations too horrible to mention.
“Cretella noted that multiple studies have found that homosexually behaving teens and young adults suffer increased rates of depression, anxiety, eating disorders, addictions and suicidal thoughts.”
## Maybe the verbal and other violence against them has something to do with that.
“Dawn Stefanowicz has personally experienced some of the negative consequences of homosexual parenting.”
## How is any of that an objection to gay partnerships, rather than to promiscuity ? Would a gay partnership free of promiscuity have led to what she complains of ?
““His partners were more important than I was. That was the sense I had.””
## NEWSFLASH: Straight couples are no different. And why should she be *more* important anyway ? We are not told.
“...So it follows, therefore, that homosexuals who think that the Church should allow “gay marriage” are demanding special rights. Furthermore, the rest of society can’t be brow-beaten into accepting a homosexual union as a marriage. To force people to do so, such that even wedding photographers who refuse, as per their conscience, to photograph a gay wedding, is demanding special rights.”
## No such thing follows. They are asking to have the same civil standing as others who are free to marry. The Church can speak to its own, but it cannot in any way prevent the state giving that right to thise to whom the state judges it is right to give it.
Society is not being “brow-beaten into accepting” anything, eccepot in the sense that Southerners were “brow-beaten into accepting” the injustice and inhumanity of desegregation. Members of the human race in part of the US who were formerly denied the same civil freedoms as their fellows, have now been granted them, that is all. When did good for A become bad for B ?
ahhhh Manticore, you’re being too logical for this gang. It never ceases to amaze me, especially on Gay blogs, straight (and usually Bible thumpers) come there with their minds made up and try to change the Gay audiences mind. Fine, they’re welcome to try. But one has to have an open mind and consider other opinions. So if THEY (the Bible folks) are unwilling to even consider changing their minds, why do they think Gays will change theirs? Worse still, people with barely a rudimentary understanding of any given topic will ignore all logic, facts and research and contort their mind in 1000 directions to fit what they already “know” and believe. I usually give up. They are on the losing side of history. Just as minorities in this country eventually got all their rights. I predict the Church will come around on Same Sex marriage, just not in my lifetime - look at those who thought we would never have women lectors and altar girls. And doesn’t the Bible say women are to be silent in church?
“I predict the Church will come around on Same Sex marriage, just not in my lifetime - look at those who thought we would never have women lectors and altar girls.”
## I agree - and I think it will be amazed that it could ever have been against same-sex marriage. Everyone is wise with hindsight. I also think the CC will find a place for some varieties of gay and feminist theology, just as it has found a place for some varieties of liberation theology.
“And doesn’t the Bible say women are to be silent in church?” That’s St. Paul, in 1 Corinthians 14.26-40; he says that for the sake of good order at worship, to avoid chaos. Given the context (always vital for understanding the NT), it makes very good sense.
Many things are in the Bible that the Church just ignores - it could not have been founded, if Jesus had kept within the boundaries of the Law; but He spent a lot of time doing what it forbade. The Church follows St. Paul in not bothering with circumcision, despite Gen.17; it ignores the Sabbath; it worships a crucified Messiah despite Deuteronomy 21.23. The High Priesthood of Jesus has made the Aaronic priesthood into a thing of the past; it is in the Bible, & it is defunct. The Church allows oaths to be sworn, despite the prohibition of these by Jesus & by James. it is not confined by the Bible, because Jesus was not, & could not be: so why should it be ? It is not possible to obey all the laws in the Bible - and why should Gentiles bother with the 613 laws in the Torah ? They were given to the Israelites alone, & to nobody else.
TY for the kind words :)
You’re welcome! It is a mystery to me how the Church understands every nuance of the Bible (as in all the things you mentioned, plus the fact that in ancient times everyone was called a brother or sister so that does NOT mean Mary had additional children**) yet they ignore their own history about being accepting of homosexuality. Speaking for myself and many others, I realized something was different about me when I was only 7 or 8 years old. I just didn’t know what it was then. And the same standards of conduct CAN be applied to homosexuality - one partner, marital committment etc. *John Boswell says in his book (Same sex unions in premodern Europe) there most definitely were same sex marriages sanctioned by the Church. ** This is why, despite everything, I remain Catholic. I can’t stomach the Bible thumpers who hang on every word in the Bible and half the time get it wrong!
Jaroslaw has made important points. Please do not assume that the American College of Pediatricians represents most Pediatricians. The total membership in this organization is estimated to be between 6 and 200 individuals. In contrast, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) (which finds that science supports adoptions by lesbian and gay parents) has more than 60,000 members. These majority AAP pediatricians are important voices. There is no reason to assume they have any bias. They do not support the thesis of this article by TOM MCFEELY. Also it is unwise to generalize from the experience of Dawn Stefanowicz to conclude that poor parenting is the norm for homosexual parents. One could find many examples of poor parenting by heterosexuals.
This woman lived in a home where her mother died and her father had a series of unhealthy relationships. It would have been the same if he slept with a series of sick women. She does not represent the thousands of children being raised in homes with healthy monogamous same sex relationships.
Stop reaching to validate the Catholic Church’s need to control as it has for thousands of years. You are very sick. I hope this woman gets the help she needs but her life is not the product of a loving same sex love. It is the product of a unhealthy parent. This can happen gay or straight.
Please check out narth.org. God bless.
Thank you manticore, Jaroslaw, and Nancy Beth, for being critical readers of this site. I’m glad I am not the only one who picked up on the key issue of “promiscuity” affecting this girl’s upbringing. Any child subjected to a parent’s promiscuous and destructive behaviours would be right to question her upbringing. The fact that her father was gay - not the real problem at all. Nice try, NCR, but your flawed “evidence” of the harms of same-sex parenting is just that - flawed.
Nice try anthean, but consult the Bible, I assume we all know the law, lifes a journey…...
Matthew 5:17 “Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fulfill.
19 Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven
http://www.catholic.com/tracts/homosexuality
Jim1, who is anthean? Also, how do the quotes you have provided add anything to this argument? I’d say your ability to spell is second only to your ability to participate coherently in adult conversation… yeesh!
Athenian - indulging in an ad hominem attack on Jim 1’s spelling error speaks nothing to the arguments either for or against gay parenting. On the other hand the fact that you frequent a Catholic website and yet clearly cannot comprehend a pretty straightforward reference to Christ’s endorsement of the 10 commandments speaks volumes about your own ignorance. Peace to you!
I am not ignorant of the 10 commandments. I have read the bible and have formed my own opinions about its validity. Unfortunately, Catholics tend to spend most of their time shoving their fictitious book in the faces of others, using it as a platform for spewing hatred about others.
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