Mary-Louise Kurey, at the age of 15, missed an opportunity to witness to a friend.

She's been making up for it ever since. Miss Wisconsin 1999, Kurey is the author of Standing with Courage. Since her reign as Miss Wisconsin she has appeared on several television programs, testified before Congress and spoken to more than 130,000 teens on the subject of abstinence. She is now director of the Respect Life office for the Archdiocese of Chicago.

She spoke with Register staff writer Tim Drake about her book and her experiences as Miss Wisconsin.

Tell me about your family.

I was born in Clifton Park, N.Y., and our family moved to Wisconsin when I was about 7 years old. I have two older brothers and an older sister. My father is a former nuclear physicist and my mother was a teacher-turned-homemaker.

My parents were both loving and strict. As the baby, I had more freedom than my siblings did. They were not allowed to date, but I was. Whenever I would go out with my friends, mom would find out exactly where I was going. If I were going to a movie, she would call the theater to see when the movie was ending. It was how they demonstrated their love.

Have you always been Catholic?

Yes, our family was very Catholic. I attended Catholic schools through fifth grade, a public middle school and a Catholic high school. During Advent we would gather around the Advent wreath, read from parts of the Christmas story and pray a novena.

What led you to get involved in pageant work?

I participated in the Junior Miss program in high school and was Milwaukee's Junior Miss. In summer 1992, I became the first Italian Miss Polish Fest, which was a preliminary to Miss Wisconsin. I ended up in the top 10 at Miss Wisconsin but said, “I'm never doing this again.”

While at Duquesne University I started talking with students about chastity. I realized that with a title, I could reach a lot more people, so I returned to the pageant system and competed at ages 22 and 23. In June 1999, at age 24, I won Miss Wisconsin.

How did you choose your platform?

In seventh grade a lot of students in my class were becoming sexually active and using illegal drugs. I decided that I wouldn't have sex before I was married, drink or use drugs.

While many of my friends were sexually active, I felt that it wasn't any of my business.

One of my friends became pregnant at age 15. That was a wake-up call to me because I wondered what [would have happened] if I had done the right thing and witnessed to her.

In college, another close friend had a nervous breakdown. When I visited her in the hospital, I learned it was the result of an abortion she had had three years earlier. I had been taking good care of myself while allowing my friends to make destructive choices.

It made me realize I had a calling to speak out so others would not have to suffer the way my friends had suffered in their lives.

After I won Miss Wisconsin, the Miss America pageant told the states that they didn't want women who had an abstinence platform to compete at Miss America.

They asked the state board to change my platform to character education but left the decision up to me. I was blessed to have won in Wisconsin, because it's a very platform-oriented state and whatever I wanted to do with my platform was fine with them. I decided not to change.

Many people told me if I had changed my platform I would have done better at Miss America, but I have no regrets. I was in the top 10 at Miss America and won top talent.

Was it difficult being a person of faith in the Miss America pageant?

No, there are a lot of young women of faith.

On the final night of the pageant, about one-third of the contestants gathered in the galley at the auditorium and joined hands in prayer. It was an awesome experience. The contestants were offering up very spirit-filled fervent prayer. There were very few Catholics. One of my friends was Sylvia Gomes, Miss Connecticut 1999. Sylvia and I got the pageant to change their rules so that we could attend Mass on Sunday morning.

After Mass we asked the priest to bless us. We both made the top 10.

What was it like being crowned?

It was an incredible feeling. There was a lot of pressure because I was 24 and it was my last chance. The only other time I've felt that way was when Brian Hengesbaugh proposed to me. [The couple wed earlier this year.] It's like flying without a safety net—it's new and unknown and scary but in a wonderful way.

What were the highlights of your time as Miss Wisconsin?

I spoke to more than 100,000 youth on the issue of chastity and appeared on several television and radio shows. I appeared on Sally Jessy Raphael, Inside Edition and on Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect five times. It can be surprising how you reach people who you think are not open to this message. I once appeared on the program with Playboy playmate Summer Altice.

After the show, she told me, “I couldn't be doing what you're doing, but I really admire you for doing it. Good luck with your mission.” I found that really heartening.

Your book is an outgrowth of your experiences, isn't it?

Yes. Standing with Courage: Confronting Tough Decisions About Sex is written for teens and young adults about issues pertinent to their lives. It is not just about sex and relationships but also issues such as peer pressure, self-image, drug use and standing up for what you believe in.

In the book I share my experiences from high school and college through the pageants, as well as my interactions with people such as Bill Maher and other celebrities that I came to know during my reign.

Do you have a favorite story from your time speaking with youth across the country?

After doing a presentation for a church group, many youth came up asking me to sign their baseball hats and shirts. One youth, the senior captain of the football team, asked if I would write “virgin” in big letters on the back of his shirt.

I asked, “Are you sure?” and he said, “Yes, I'm proud of it.”

I asked him if I could write something else. After he agreed I wrote, “virgin and studly.” All of the girls started screaming and laughing.

Two years later I spoke in the same area and the students told me that he still wears the shirt.

Do you have hope that your message is making a difference?

Yes, a recent Center for Disease Control study reported that more than 54% of high school students are virgins. Another study showed that young girls who are close to their mothers are much less likely to be sexually active. Every teen I have talked to wants to be close to their parents, and parents have a huge influence over their teens' choices simply by communicating to them that they can wait and that they believe that waiting is the best choice.

Tim Drake writes from St. Cloud, Minnesota.