The Goodness of Grandparents

Grandchildren Say Faith Fundamentals and Wisdom Abound

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Sixteen-year-old Owen Sweeney has a strong opinion of grandparents, especially his own, Edward and Betty Fyke.

“I think they’re the best people to go to when you have a problem, because they know a lot of stuff about life,” he said.

“When I had a problem or didn’t know something about God, I would go to my grandmother or grandfather,” he explained of his grandparents, who live nearby in the greater Philadelphia area.

“Overall, they really do know a lot about the faith. They have been connected with God for a long time — and you can tell, too.”

For instance, Owen shared that, when he was younger, his grandmother told him God would always send a guardian angel to help him.

His 14-year-old sister, Catie, also credits her grandparents for teaching her the faith regularly, such as “praying the Rosary and telling me stories about Jesus.”

“They help me be a good, practicing Catholic,” Catie added.

The Sweeney siblings are following the advice of Pope Francis, who told young people attending the Youth Eucharistic Movement in August: “You ask [your] grandparents: ‘Grandpa, Grandma, how was that? How is it done?’… Because the grandparents are a source of wisdom; because they have the memory of life, the memory of the faith ... and they are good, the grandparents!”

 

Loving Mission

The Holy Father has often reminded the faithful of grandparents’ roles and influence. In a March general audience, he said: “How beautiful … is the encouragement an elderly person manages to pass on to a young person who is seeking the meaning of faith and of life. It is truly the mission of grandparents. … The words of grandparents have special value for the young. And the young know it.”

In another daily homily, Francis noted, “The elderly pass on history, doctrine, faith, and they leave them to us as an inheritance.”

 

Actions Speak Loudly

Anne Marie Sims well remembers her grandmother’s living out this mission, particularly her being faithful to prayer. “It was part of her, like brushing your teeth,” said Sims, a recent guest on EWTN’s Grandparents series. “She graced a lot of people and touched their lives and hearts in many ways. She was 103 when she died.”

Sims shared with the Register that her grandmother’s witness, words, actions and overall kindness toward others, “especially the less fortunate, was life-giving.”

Sims, explaining her grandma’s approach to faith, said, “She just lived it.”

One of those special examples in Sims’ life came after her high-school graduation. “My grandmother gave me a crucifix, and I carried that around for 40 years in my purse,” she recalled. “I put that in my purse, along with my lipstick, but the crucifix went in there first. And when I didn’t have that in my purse, I felt something missing.”

“There was no big presentation of that crucifix, but it was the importance of it,” she reflected. “That made an impact on me.”

Father James Mallon, co-host of the Grandparents series, told the Register that the No. 1 thing consistent throughout those profiled in the TV production was “the degree of impact these faithful men and women had on their grandchildren. Many of them had no idea at the time, or never knew this side of eternity that their witness made a difference, but it did. My own message to grandparents is to continue to be faithful and loving witnesses to their Catholic faith. The small things matter; they make a difference.”

 

Sharing Wisdom

Edward and Betty Fyke have plenty of opportunities to continue to share their faith and wisdom. The Fykes have five living children, all married in the Church, with grandchildren ranging in age from 3 to 30-something, plus a 2-year-old great-granddaughter. The family numbers 25 in all.

Betty Fyke feels “the most important thing is prayer. Pray for your children and grandchildren.”

She illustrates what grandparents’ prayers can do with a story about daughter Mary’s first date with a young man she liked. He took her to a family gathering, where she met his grandmother. The grandmother asked Mary if her mother was the Betty Fyke who hosted the daily Philadelphia-area radio show The Message of Our Lady of Fatima. Mary said that she was.

“You tell her to pray for my grandson; he’s never been baptized,” the grandmother told Mary.

Fyke later mentioned the story on the air, having listeners pray right then and there for that grandmother’s intention.

“A week later, he comes in and says he wants to become a Catholic,” Fyke was thrilled to report of Mary’s date. “He went for RCIA classes, and when he was 18 became a Catholic at the Easter vigil. His grandmother was his sponsor! It was amazing.”

An extra blessing: Mary eventually got married to him.

“Never give up on prayer,” Fyke said. “You have to trust in prayer. In prayer, God is working. It’s astounding watching God’s grace happening. It boggles the mind.”

 

Consistent Witness

Betty Fyke has practical advice for her fellow grandparents: Tell grandchildren, “Let’s say grace; let’s pray a decade of the Rosary; let’s go to church and look around at the pictures [in the sanctuary]. On Good Friday, let’s sit down and talk about the passion of Our Lord.”

“You have to plant those seeds,” she added. “That’s part of being a grandparent.”

Her 13-year-old granddaughter Elizabeth Fyke already credits her grandmother with helping her “to be a better Catholic.”

Elizabeth has learned all kinds of things from her grandma. She explained, “I ask my grandmother when I’m in church with her” when questions about faith or aspects of the Church come to mind.

 

Rock-Solid Grandparenting

Such a special relationship matters to young people, according to Michael La Corte, U.S. director of the Catholic Grandparents Association.

“Oftentimes, they feel more comfortable confiding and talking through things with their grandparents then with anyone else,” La Corte observed.

Ordinary family time can be moments of imparting wisdom, as can key life moments.

When the Fykes’ grandson Owen was nervous about starting high school, he said his grandparents told him that “all will work out fine.” Their wise advice proved true.

Now that he’s trying to get a part-time job, he said, “They’ve been helping me with résumés.”

“If I have to ask them to help [me figure out] what to say in an interview, I’m sure they’d help me out,” he added. The Fyke grandkids, and many others, have discovered what Pope Francis knows: “Grandparents are a treasure.”

 

Joseph Pronechen is the Register’s staff writer.

Caravaggio (1571–1610), “The Incredulity of Saint Thomas”

For We Walk by Faith, Not by Sight

“Then he said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side; do not be faithless, but believing.’ Thomas answered him, ‘My Lord and my God!’ Jesus said to him, ‘Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.’” (John 20:27-29)