September has always been a time for sorrow, according to the Church's understanding. But, for Americans, this September will be especially sad. It's time to pause and remember the first anniversary of the terrorist-hijacking attacks that claimed the lives of more than 3,000 civilians.

Even our children were noticeably affected by what happened in New York. They found out what the World Trade Center was by finding out that it had been destroyed. We were on a home-school outing that morning, one we had looked forward to for some weeks. We had to turn around and come home, traveling in a caravan with other families down side roads, because everyone was worried about what else terrorists might do.

The children certainly recognized the change in our home. For three days, we had the television on constantly. Before that, we hadn't watched television at all, apart from the Olympics. And we began a regular daily family rosary after the Pope asked for daily rosaries for an end to terrorism.

To this day, the children are affected by their memories of that time. We visited a family we know earlier this year. When it was time to go, we looked for our 8-year-old daughter and she wasn't in any of the usual places, playing. Nor were the friends' two sons there. We found them all on the back porch, deep in conversation.

“We were talking just like grownups do,” Cecilia told us.

“What were you talking about?”

“What happened at the World Trade Center.”

The Spiritual Life

Every night, we pray together as a family. Each person offers something that he is thankful for, and each person offers a petition (we write them down). Often, since last September, one of the children will pray for the families who suffered after “what happened at the World Trade Center” or, “for the people who did that at the World Trade Center, that God will change their hearts.”

The liturgy gives us a good way to understand Sept. 11.

Sept. 14 is the feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross. Here we have the opportunity to explain to children why God allows suffering to happen. God wants us all to be happy. But the only way to be truly happy is to be close to him, because he is the source of all happiness. The Cross of Jesus makes it possible for us to be near him because it makes heaven possible for us. It also made it possible for us to be close to him when we suffer.

As Christians we know that true happiness isn't the absence of suffering but the nearness of God.

Pope John Paul II gave us a good perspective on suffering when, in pain and infirmity, he celebrated World Youth Day in Toronto this summer. Here, truly, is a man who suffers — yet he's not anxious, depressed, hopeless or angry. He's happy.

Sept. 15 is the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows, another day on which the Church looks at suffering. For our family, it has been a time to remember a child lost to miscarriage. I have always been impressed with St. Thèrése of Liseux's frequent references to her brothers in heaven — a reference to her mother's miscarriages. Though it is not a subject we dwell on, our own children are aware of their brother in heaven, and they refer to him and remember him.

This, too, helps us deal with the loss and tragedy of an event like Sept. 11. We pray for the dead and commit them to God, and try to live our lives in such a way that we can hope to meet them in heaven some day.

April Hoopes writes from

Hamden, Connecticut.