I don’t understand why the Catholic Church’s punishments are not more in line with the seriousness of the offense? Why is the Church’s punishment worse for two adults who get divorced than it is for (as an example) someone who murders their infant through abortion?  Where is the 60-plus-question form PLUS witness testimony that people who have committed murder or some other horrible offence have to fill out? 

I have been told that the Church’s view is that the extensive and intrusive form is considered by the Church to be a “healing” experience for the divorced couple.  If so, then why aren’t all the other serious offenders granted the same opportunity to experience healing-by-questionnaire-and-witness-testimony?  My understanding is that a person can abort their child, confess, and then participate in the full sacraments. 

The point I am trying to make is that it just doesn’t seem rational that a sin that results in the intentional death of another person is held to be less serious by the Church than the sin of divorce.

I would like to add to my above post: 

I do not intend to imply that I want the Church to treat other sinners the same way or worse than the Church treats divorced people. I do not want that.  I am not advocating for a broader base of suffering, I am only attempting to express my view that it should not be WORSE for divorced people than it is for people who have committed other forms of serious sins.

From my experience, the questionnaire that a person fills out, requesting a tribunal to review the possibility of a null marriage, is not to request forgiveness for any sins committed. It’s merely a necessary tool to help the applicant cover all bases in his or her inquiry into the possible annulment of a marriage. The tribunal isn’t analyzing penitence or degrees of sin, or discerning penance, as might be the case, if a priest is providing spiritual direction for someone who might have committed a serious offense who is seeking reconciliation with Christ and his Church. On the contrary, a tribunal reviewing a case for annulment needs to understand the marriage in question. Hence, the in-depth questionnaire.

I agree with what Charlene posted.  I would add:  The questionnaire is a way to gather information to be used to determine if the marriage is Sacramental.  (Civil authorities are only interested in whether a marriage is legal.)  The Church wants to ensure that marriages are Sacramental.  Thus, when someone askes for their marriage to be examined to learn if it was Sacramental or not, an investigation is done to determine if any of the essential elements of a Sacramental marriage are missing, i.e. one or both spouses did not intend to be faithful for life, one or both spouses were not open to the possibility of children from the time that they made their marriage vows, etc.  If an essential element is missing, the marriage is declared to be “Null”.  The marriage may have been legal, but not Sacramental.

I should have also added that the inquiry into whether a marriage is null or valid in the Catholic Church is not a unishment.  Instead the decision of the Church gives the parties a definitive answer as to whether: their marriage is Sacramental and they can’t remarry in the Catholic Church if they have a legal divorce, or is it was never a valid Sacrament.  It will also tell the couple if they are free to be married in the Catholic church to another person.  If a divorced Catholic chooses to never remarry, they don’t need to go through discerning whether their marriage was null or valid.  God, through the priest, will forgive a repentant sinner who has been involved in an abortion.  Repenting means to be sorry for the sin and to make a good faith effort not to repeat the sin.  Marriage, on the other hand is a Sacrament that has requirements to be valid.  Hope this answers CatholicByChoice’s question.

I should have also added that the inquiry into whether a marriage is null or valid in the Catholic Church is not a punishment.  Instead the decision of the Church gives the parties a definitive answer as to whether: their marriage is Sacramental and they can’t remarry in the Catholic Church if they have a legal divorce, or is it was never a valid Sacrament.  It will also tell the couple if they are free to be married in the Catholic Church to another person.  If a divorced Catholic chooses to never remarry, they don’t need to go through discerning whether their marriage was null or valid.  God, through the priest, will forgive a repentant sinner who has been involved in an abortion.  To repent means to be sorry for the sin and to make a good faith effort not to repeat the sin.  Marriage, on the other hand is a Sacrament that has requirements to be valid.  Hope this answers CatholicByChoice’s question

The major problem that many Catholics have with the Church"s policy is that the only way to obtain an annulment is to have the marriage declared null and void from day one. If children arrive as a result of the union they are deemed illegitimate. This becomes an untenable situation for many good Catholics.

In regard to the comment posted by Joseph Migliardi…

The children of a marriage that has been declared null does NOT mean that the children of that relationship are illegitmate.

Canon law states that “children who are conceived or born of a valid or of a putative marriage are legitimate.” A marriage which is eventually discerned to be invalid through the annulment process was nevertheless considered valid by both parties at the time of the wedding, and presumably at the time the children were conceived. This constitutes a “putative marriage”, and children conceived in such a relationship are therefore legitimate.

Canon 1137 of the Code of Canon Law specifically affirms the legitimacy of children born in both valid and putative marriages (objectively invalid, though at least one party celebrated in good faith).

Joseph, that is not true. Please see the following link:

http://www.catholic.com/quickquestions/if-my-mother-annuls-her-marriage-to-my-father-does-that-mean-my-siblings-and-i-are-il

And also: 

In his book Annulments and the Catholic Church, canon lawyer Edward Peters explains:

The granting of an annulment does nothing to affect the legitimacy of children. That status, to the scant degree it has any canonical significance, is determined prior to the time any questions of annulment are raised (117–19).

I am in the process of a divorce.  I was left and was not given a choice in the matter.  I had to fight tooth and nail to find any programs for support at church level , the one I did attend was not ran well at all.  My husband and I are cradle catholics, married in the church.  I was so glad to see this article only to find that I could not locate information on divorce at the Foryourmarriage.org site and the Catholicdivorce.com would not load(tried different computers).  With the divorce rate at the level it is, why not more ministry in this area.  I am trying to remain a catholic but I do not know how to hang on.  Can anyone help with those to websites?

@Robin, I couldn’t get the catholicsdivorce.com page to load either, but you could also try this website: http://www.divorcedcatholic.com/ You a.re in my prayers.

First of all we must know what Jesus said of marriage. If we believe in Catholic Church, we must believe that marriage is indissoluble. However there are very special situations or reasons that will force a couple to be separated. They must be few and far between. There may be cases where the marriage as per the Church teachings might not have occured and thereby the marriage was not a marriage. Such cases are brought to the Tribunal of the Church seeking annulment. Annulment is not divorce, but establishing that real marriage has not occured. For example if one man without revealing that he had a wife entered into catholic marriage, that marriage though blessed by priest is invalid. If it is proved, annulment is granted.

            There are other types of cases. If the couple cannot stay together on account of violence,perversions etc , separation may be resorted to but divorce is not possible. It is a cross to be carried to follow Jesus . Prayer without hatred of the partner and living a chaste life are the only way admisssible. Modern concept is relativism and they choose something which the Holy Church cannot accept.