Praying the family Rosary is a challenge, especially if you have young children. Distractions are the rule, not the exception. I remember one afternoon praying together when a UPS truck parked across the street, and as we recited Hail Marys, all eyes surreptitiously watched the windows to see if a package would be coming to our house. And when the baby’s on the floor, it’s often a recipe for disaster, as the baby is fascinated by the colorful soles of her siblings’ sneakers, which are all turned up as we kneel, and we have to stop her from chewing on them.
But having toddlers in the room can present even more obstacles to meditation. Just last week we were praying the Rosary, and our 4-year-old was swinging rambunctiously on the rocking chair arm when he fell off, bumped his head on the radiator, and began to sob. As I opened my arms for him, I told my 11-year-old to get an ice pack. She promptly put down her rosary and ran to the kitchen, only to find, on returning, that the 2-year-old had broken her rosary in her absence. I meted out swift punishment, and then the 2-year-old started to howl. Only one minute later, the baby picked up a scrap of paper off the floor and started to cry when I took it away. So there we were — with three children wailing, still reciting our prayers, but with little concentration.
Days like that can cause me to wonder whether a daily family Rosary is worth the effort.
So I re-evaluated my reasons for wanting to pray the Rosary with all the children. Why do I feel so strongly about saying the Rosary together as a family? First of all, the Rosary is a combination of vocal and mental prayer, and, thus, it’s an easy, natural way to teach the children the art of meditation that is so essential to our spiritual life. Secondly, Our Lady has appeared on earth several times to ask us to say the Rosary; the Rosary seems to be the instrument she desires us to use to bring about the conversion of sinners and peace in the world. Therefore, the Rosary is a devotion we should try to make a priority in our own lives and to pass on to our children.
But how can we teach our children that the Rosary is a priority if we don’t show them that it is by saying it every day with them? Praying the Rosary every day as a family imparts an enormously powerful lesson: that the Rosary is so important that we gather everyone together, every day, and persevere through a myriad of distractions and other obstacles to say this specific prayer. Furthermore, praying the family Rosary every day builds the habit in our children that — we hope — they may continue even when they have left home. Moreover, if we make the Rosary a daily habit in our lives, then when a crisis strikes, the Rosary will be like a dear and trusted friend, comforting us and sustaining us, whether we’re passing time anxiously in a hospital waiting room or we’re sitting fearfully in a basement while a tornado whirls overhead. Lastly, how can meditating on the lives of Our Lord and Our Lady for 15 or 20 minutes be anything but beneficial to our lives?
This is not to minimize the difficulties involved in saying a family Rosary every day. For many families, it is a real struggle. But we mustn’t grow discouraged or give up if we can’t establish the habit right away. Sometimes it’s better to ease our way into it by reciting the Rosary once a week or whenever we’re in the car for more than 15 minutes or by saying just one decade every day. Instead of demanding instant perfection, we can gradually build the habit together. Even after we’ve developed the habit, a change in schedule or sickness or pregnancy or moving can cause us to abandon the habit we’ve worked so hard to cultivate. Once again, we can just try saying the Rosary as often as we can and pray to Our Lady to help us get back to a more regular recitation. She will surely not refuse such a request.
In our family, we try to keep the children involved by having them take turns naming and leading the decades. We also like to read short, simple meditations before each decade, which helps us all remember what we’re supposed to be thinking about, and we’ve laminated large pictures of each mystery. We prop them up on the sofa to help all of us keep focused. At the end of the Rosary, we let each child name one saint, and the rest of us will answer, “Pray for us.” The children really look forward to having a chance to choose a saint and getting a moment in the spotlight.
Still, meditating amidst the chaos of little children’s shenanigans can be difficult. My older daughters told me recently, “Mom, we can meditate on the Rosary so much better when we say it by ourselves!” I replied, “Yes, but why do you ever say it alone? When did you learn to say it, and how did you learn that saying it is important? It was when we used to say the Rosary together when you were the little ones and you used to distract us!”
Case proved.
Agnes M. Penny is a home-schooling mother of eight children and
the author of Your Labor of Love for expectant mothers
and Your Vocation of Love for all mothers.
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Thank you for the inspiration I needed to stop making excuses and start this devotion in our young family.
Recognizing and acknowledging that the distractions are caused by the devil’s minions (meant to stop the prayers) will help you to work through the distractions, and can help someone praying the Rosary to realize the importance of praying the Rosary. Just keep praying the Rosary. That is the important thing. In reading this article and in thinking about these happenings, I can well imagine Blessed Mother smiling at your efforts to pray when distractions occur, especially when there are young children involved. Just keep praying the Rosary. Do not worry about the distractions. Just keep praying and the distractions will eventually dissolve when the minions realize you are not stopping the prayers but are continuing on with them.
Love you Agnes M. Penny keep praying the rosary with your children. You all are bringing consolation to our Lord Jesus as he sweats blood in the garden, and as his body’s weight bears down on the nails through his wrists on the Cross. God Bless You !!!
St Josemaria Escriva would disagree with you.
I congratulate you on your desire and preserverence in praying the family Rosary. I am single and of course have no children but I know about these distractions that make it feel like the purpose is to just survive rather than enjoy the rosary.
Every year for my birthday I ask that the family come together to pray the rosary in lieu of a party or gifts. Uncles, aunts, Grama, kids, everyone comes together and we pray. It has quickly become a familiar tradition and now when there has been sickness or death we unite and pray. The children have taken to it ONLY BECAUSE THE ADULTS HAVE MODELED what to do.
We are in no way a “Norman Rockwell” family. We are as dysfunctional as they come but for a few moments here and there we become the Catholic Church’s image of the Waltons and love and pray together.
It takes time and effort but nothing will enchant your heart more than hearing your family call upon Jesus through Mary over and over again.
Just as an ending I would like to add that I instituted my birthday being celebrated this way because I didn’t want my funeral wake to be the first time my family would come together to pray the rosary. Sadly this is too true for many.
Pray the family rosary! Fr. Patrick Peyton, pray for us.
First of all, I loved your book, Labor of Love, and purchased several copies to give to the many expecting mothers I know. We pray a family Rosary most days, and are striving to make it daily, so thank you for this article.
Just for my clarification- do you not allow your children to play with anything (even a scrap of paper for babies?) while praying the Rosary? And you punished your 2 year-old for breaking a Rosary?
Thank you for writing this. I often wonder about all the distractions myself. Your article makes me feel good about continuing to pray the rosary with my family.
Love it! I have 5 little ones and always feel the devil is trying to get in there and create chaos at prayer time, especially the Rosary. It is as though suddenly everyone who isn’t still become a kangaroo. Calm those and suddenly the others have a touching problem, sitting problem or SOME problem. That ball that sat there and nobody wanted to play with? It suddenly comes alive. When all is said and done, and you are exhausted, you almost feel like you have not got anything out of it all, or were a failed parent from having so much chaos. But I agree, even with the distractions, you are getting many graces.
Great reminder. Its been on my mind to start praying the rosary together with my 3 little ones, but its been so intimidating as they’re all toddlers. I love the author’s books, btw, and would recommend them to every mother!
We Said the rosary each nite @ 7:15 when it was on the radio. We developed a devotion that has lasted a lifetime. I believe that praying the rosary often does help to achieve a happy death. I have been present when family members have died. A truely joyful event.
I am so grateful to read this artcle. While I was reading, I kept on saying “Amen”. My family has been saying the rosary together for many years. One or two times, my son had seziures while we were praying the rosary. We just pereseved to continue to say the rosary after he was fine. Rosary is our weapon. I learned to say the St. Michael Prayer and pray to our Guardian Angel before we say the rosary. Ave Maria! Praised be Jesus and Mary.
I am very thankful to the Lord and Our Blessed Virign to help us to say the family rosary for many years. Even though my son suddenly had seizure while we were praying the rosary, we did not stop our family rosary. I learn to say the prayers to St. Michael and our Guardian Angel before we say the rosary. My children have been taught in order to obtain peace for the world, we have to say the rosary. Also, we pray for the conversion of sinners and the souls in puragatory. Even though we were had been tested/attacked, God helps us to perserve. All praise, honor and glory to God.
Thank you so much for this article! This is just the boost I have been needing to continue the daily Rosary with my children.
Parents can initiate a proposal to set up a sunday school that can get children engaged during mass. A priest can even say the homily but in a way they understand. Games and videos and musicals based on the church’s teaching can be shown to children. This way, children can participate in the mass from a child’s perspective. Of course this can’t apply to new born babies and toddlers.
try the children rosary, one Hail Mary instead of 10.
Acompanied by drawings of each mystery.
Keeps kids focused and begins to set roots in there devotion
to Mary. Besides sooner or later they will want to become
big children in order to pray the rosary of 10 Hail Mary’s.
Pax
Thank you for these wonderful thoughts, Mrs. Penny. I shared your story truly - more often than not - over these past many years. I am the mother of 6 children and struggled so many years through the rosary with my children. My youngest are no longer distractions (for the most part!..:)...) and we still try to say the rosary at the beginning of our day or while in the car en-route to some activity. I also went through discouraging moments, but came to similar conclusions and we struggled through with Our Lady’s help. It has been a powerful prayer through many years and I thank God and Our Lady every day for our precious faith that taught us this sublime prayer!
Thank you so much for this article. We have 5 kids ages 2 to 11 and struggle to say one decade every night before bed. Our 8 year old son always wants to pray a full Rosary and is frustrated (as are we) that we can barely get through one decade. Thank you for the encouragement to persevere.
I did not understand how significant the Rosary was until I researched it. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints yet more than half of my family is Catholic and so they asked me over 20 years ago to make them Rosaries since I do semi precious gemstone beading. I met with a Monsignor who patiently took time to talk to me and I now have a real appreciation of the rosary and how you medicate on the life,mission, death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is not Idol worship as some believe and I respect all of you who pray the rosary with a pure heart. God Bless you in your efforts and thank you to all of those Catholics that are being good examples of your faith.
http://www.larryloveutah.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=83_71
Thank you so very much for this faith-inspiring article. Thank you Mrs. Agnes Penny for being such an awesome, faith-inspiring Mother. May God & Our Blessed Mother bless your family a 1000 times over, for each prayer you say TOGETHER! I sincerely regret not having encouraged & prayed together while raising my children :(( ...
Thanks you Agnes for this wonderful article. My father and mother said the Rosary daily, and we kids had better say it too in their household. Many times, it didn’t seem to mean a lot when I was a kid. I got out by myself eventually and didn’t pray it for many years. But, when I got older and had kids, I seemed to understand better the need for it. I have definitley not said it enough over the years with my kids. I hope I do not pay for this laziness later. I think that when you sow the seeds as you are doing with your example to your children, God always blesses them later in life. You reap what you sow.
Amen! Thank you for writing this. I’m going to use it to encourage families in our parish!
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