Closed Adoption Works Well, Too

After reading “Open Adoption Helps Mothers Choose Life” (Sept. 19-25), I was very much disturbed to say the least. I am the mother of three adopted children. My husband and I adopted in the 1960s through a licensed adoption agency.

Please inform the Catholic Counseling Services maternity counselor [quoted in the article] that, although ours was a closed adoption (in which the birth parents are unknown to the adopting parents and adopted children), there was no “dark side.” None of our children suffered from “higher levels of mental illness, physical illness, attention-deficit disorder or hyperactivity.” We were always completely honest with our children and all of them knew they were adopted from the time they could talk. I truly believe that the adoption process worked well — not only for us, but for our children and the birth mothers, who have always been in our prayers.

As one who has been deeply involved in the adoption process, I have many reservations about this new trend of open adoption, but for the sake of the children I hope it works well. [Meanwhile], for us and the families of closed adoptions (many of whom we know well), this [“old way”] worked just fine. To say otherwise is to do a grave disservice to all concerned.

Joan R. Millar Grover Beach, California

Verbal Standards

I beg to differ with the headmaster of the Catholic boys' school who was quoted as saying he doesn't think using “the occasional four-letter word” is sinful (“‘Bad Words’ in the U.S. Leave Few Speechless,” Sept. 19-25). The norm for Christian morality is not just a set of commandments, but Jesus himself, as Pope John Paul II said in Veritatis Splendor. This is not to say we must all do what Jesus did, but we may not do what Jesus would never do. The day Jesus Christ would speak a foul word would be a cold day in … Gehenna.

Rev. Thomas G. Morrow St. Catherine Laboure Church

Wheaton, Maryland