He founded and directs Courage, the first Church-sanctioned organization that helps Catholic homosexuals live chastely according to the Church's moral teaching. As he prepares to retire and devote more time to writing, he spoke to Register correspondent Connie Pilsner in his New York office about his ministry's future.

Tell me a little about what homosexual Catholics who are trying to live faithful, moral lives, go through.

To face up to the temptations a homosexual person has, one needs an interior life of prayer. I call this “interior chastity.” One begins with the imperfect virtue, which I call “white-knuckled chastity.” People are fighting temptations and they are knocking their white knuckles against the wall. They are terribly afraid of sin. If they die overnight they are afraid they will go to hell — that type of thinking.

In white-knuckled chastity, while they are afraid to commit the sin, they still have affection for the act, which results in a lot of vacillating. With interior chastity, they have purified their affection for the sin and avoid it for love of Christ. Courage helps them to get away from the negative and try to be chaste because they love Christ. In fact, that's what the second of Courage's goals is all about: to develop a life of prayer with Christ.

What are those goals?

The first is to live in accord with Roman Catholic teaching on homosexuality. The second is prayer and dedication.

The third goal — to foster a spirit of fellowship — is why we have a group meeting to discuss our life experiences so none of us will have to bear the burdens of homosexuality alone. We talk about the most common characteristics of people of same-sex attractions. Ordinary heterosexual men and women can choose priesthood, religious life, celibate life in the world, understood as consecrated celibacy or the single vocation.

Homosexuals, on the other hand, have limited choices unless they come out of the condition, which only happens in three out of 10 cases. By getting together, people with same-sex attractions share an ideal of chastity. We have many members, particularly older members, who have never told their relatives, and they get the support from the group. I'm not saying they shouldn't tell their relatives, but they are hurting. We have the opposite extreme now, which says that it's perfectly all right to be openly gay.

The fourth goal is to be mindful of the truth that chaste friendships are not only possible but also necessary in a celibate Christian life. Married people who have fallen into sin as a result of their homosexual tendencies come to us for help. Everybody needs chaste friendships, whether you are heterosexual or homosexual.

The fifth goal is to live as good examples to other homosexuals.

Are there differences between what men and women experience?

The men's difficulty with chastity is usually of a schizophrenic nature. They see only the physical satisfaction. That's why homosexual men are more promiscuous than the women.

As with heterosexual women, the women tend to see the relationship as more emotional than physical.

They have a much more unified sexual understanding. Men would mainly be concerned with temptations to a quick fix or with masturbation.

Tell me about the nature of the work.

The nature of the work has expanded. The original intention of Courage was to take care of the members at the meetings and help them to lead a chaste life.

After 1990, we were getting calls from parents whose sons and daughters were living a gay lifestyle or of parents of teen-agers who were inclined to be homosexual. So we formed a new part of our group called Encourage. Encourage has meetings with parents who have adult sons and daughters who subsequently tell the parents, “If you love me, you will love my behavior and my way of life.”

They're our sister group. Forty percent of the calls I get in this office are from parents. Since I am the only priest working out of the Courage office, we refer them to other priests located in their part of the country.

It is also the mission of Courage to counsel people individually and of course to act as spiritual directors and as confessors. This involves the deeply spiritual realities of the sacrament of reconciliation and the offering of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Here in New York we have about five priests. We have annual meetings and days of recollection.

Do you try to help homosexuals become heterosexual?

Some people have tried to get us to have a sixth goal — to help the members move toward heterosexuality. I turned that one down in 1990, and I've turned it down many times since.

People come to a Courage meeting for the spiritual advantage and the support they are getting. They go also to a therapist outside of the meeting to get help. There are psychiatrists who have groups of people who are trying to come out of the condition. Good. We have sent people to them. But we are not going to do it. Even the attempt to do it would cause division among our members.

We have the purpose of teaching people about chastity. All of our members are bound to chastity.

What plans does Courage have for the future?

We will have a sports camp/retreat center in New Jersey. The purpose is to develop masculinity, just as women may need to develop their femininity. It's well known that young men can develop their masculinity through competitive sports activities.

An effeminate boy doesn't like competition and spends most of his time talking with girls. By identifying with heterosexual men, he reduces the power of temptation.

In addition to attending the collective retreats at the sports camp in the spring, men also make individual retreats. We are also about to have our fourth women's retreat. The women also engage in sports activities, such as softball.

Anyone interested can contact Courage for further information.

What are your personal plans?

I want to retire because I am in my 80s. I want to write another practical book in my last years for priests and professionals, teachers, psychologists and psychiatrists on how to approach or try to help persons with same-sex attractions to live chastely.

Are you looking for a successor?

I'm looking for someone, and I understand the shortage of diocesan priests. But I am hoping that a religious order might have a man willing to come in and work three or perhaps four days a week. I would be there at the beginning to give him counsel. There are other priests working with groups in the city who would also help him.

Must it be a priest?

I personally believe a priest is necessary as a director of Courage because of the many spiritual needs he fulfills, not only to members but also for parents and teen agers who come to seek counsel. Concretely he gives people spiritual direction and often hears confessions.

He responds to large numbers of e-mails and some snail mail in which people are asking to help them through spiritual difficulties.

In the event that we cannot find a priest, we will have to find a deacon, lay brother or nun. Whether a priest or deacon, I want someone with knowledge of moral theology — someone who understands that these acts are seriously wrong. I want someone who has the ability to listen to people.

The Church's teaching is so clear: These acts are of an intrinsic disorder and can never be justified. They must agree with that Catholic teaching and be able to give people some spiritual direction. We give spiritual direction through the five goals — that's the only way to keep people on track.

We need someone with an ordinary knowledge of psychology, a recognition that people with same-sex attractions have a wound — something happened when they were young. I never met a person yet with these tendencies that wanted to be that way. Homosexuality begins early in life with a trauma in childhood experiences that he no longer remembers.

Connie Pilsner writes from The

Bronx, New York.