Hearts of Gratitude

How to Practice Thanksgiving in Everyday Life, Amid Joy and Trial

)

Scripture makes it clear that it is God’s will for his people to cultivate gratitude in their lives: 1 Thessalonians 5:18 exhorts, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Catholic individuals and families can practice thankfulness when life brings both blessings and suffering.

 

A Spiritual Jump-Start

“Whenever my prayer life goes dry, I turn to praise and thanksgiving for a jump-start,” said Deacon Mike Bickerstaff, editor in chief and co-founder of IntegratedCatholicLife.org and a deacon of the Archdiocese of Atlanta. “First, I offer praise … praising God, not for anything he has done, but just for who he is and that he is. Next, I turn to thanksgiving for the many blessings he has bestowed on me in my life.”

Through habitual prayers of thanksgiving, Bickerstaff recognizes the ways in which he grows in virtue and becomes a better person — more like the person God desires him to be. “Gratitude helps form and reinforces within us other virtues, such as compassion, solicitude, solidarity and charity. It makes us appreciate what we have and who we are,” he said.

 

Gratitude in Suffering

In 2011, Adam and Alisha Kaminsky sat in a white-walled OB-GYN office, as Alisha was eight weeks pregnant. As the doctor washed her hands prior to leaving the exam room, she turned around to answer a question that Adam had asked her, and something caught her eye — a mass on Alisha’s neck. Without hesitation, the doctor sent the couple to the ultrasound technician. After further testing, Alisha received the call that she and Adam had been dreading: They learned she had papillary thyroid cancer.

As a school counselor, Alisha considers herself a naturally positive, grateful person. In fact, Adam, a former non-practicing Jew and convert to Catholicism, credits Alisha’s positive outlook on life and her strong faith for his growth in gratitude and faith. “I was obviously very scared when I first found out about Alisha’s cancer. I knew then that the next chapter in my life could be spent in one of two ways: I could choose to be optimistic and look for the silver lining, or I could be pessimistic and angry. I chose to trust in God, because he always has a plan.”

So the Kaminskys began their journey down the long, uncertain road of battling cancer, a journey that involved regular life-disruptive testing, radiation in isolation, several surgeries, extended time away from their young boys and a rollercoaster of emotional highs and lows. Yet, throughout it all, they found a way to remain prayerful and grateful.

“One of the easiest ways for me to keep an attitude of gratitude is when I look around at all the phenomenal people God has put in my life,” Alisha explained. “I have the most amazing network of friends, family and colleagues. When I had to leave my boys for radioactive iodine treatment, I knew my kids were well taken care of by family, I knew my husband was well-fed, with meals dropped off nightly, and I knew that I had hundreds of people praying for me — so I didn’t feel alone, even as I was in medical isolation.” To remain thankful, Alisha also practices refocusing her attention on praying for and serving others with cancer.

Alisha’s spirit of thankfulness isn’t one that always comes easily, though. “I have been down, and I have felt like I’ve hit rock bottom. But, in some way, all of the lows helped me to not take any day or holiday spent together for granted. I don’t want to let one day go by that we don’t stop and genuinely enjoy it. In some way, it is a blessing to have cancer, because it has helped me to slow down and cherish each day.”

Adam turns to the Bible to help him live with a trusting, grateful spirit. “Jesus says in Matthew 11: 25-30, ‘My yoke is easy and my burden light,’” Adam recounted. “I haven’t known Jesus for very long, as a newer Christian, but I know that he suffered greatly for us.” Thinking about Christ’s suffering and the good that came from it helps Adam stay positive and thankful that God will bring something good out of their experience of suffering, too.

“We have learned to simply trust,” Alisha admitted. “In the moment, I often don’t understand why, but sometimes [the circumstance] later makes sense, and I hear myself thanking God for his much better plan.”

 

Exercises in Thankfulness

For author and Register blogger Sarah Reinhard, practicing gratitude in even the simplest of ways isn’t always easy, as she readily admits, but it is always beneficial — both to her and to others.

“A few years ago, I started the daily exercise of making my first post on both Twitter and Facebook be something I’m grateful for,” Reinhard said. “Somehow, that little practice — which doesn’t take a lot of time or effort — does color my entire day. No matter how bad my attitude is or how ‘off’ my day is, I’ve begun with an attitude of gratitude.”

The concept of listing things we are grateful for each day has actually been studied and proven to increase happiness. Psychologists have found that people who cultivate an “attitude of gratitude”  are substantially happier, healthier, sleep more soundly, are less anxious and less prone to depression, exhibit higher long-term satisfaction with life and demonstrate kinder behavior toward others.

Reinhard sets aside time most days to list things that she is thankful for in a journal her mother gave her. This activity helps her refocus on “how very much there is to be grateful for,” starting with her husband and children.

By deliberately working to praise God in all things, not only in times of elation, but also in times of distress, Catholics can discover joy in cultivating hearts of gratitude: “Praise the Lord! I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart” (Psalm 111:1).

Katie Warner

writes from Florida.