Diagnosis: Life

An interview with Madeline Pecora Nugent, whose new book, My Child, My Gift, provides support for parents-to-be facing dire prenatal diagnoses.

With her seventh book, Madeline Pecora Nugent offers help for parents facing serious prenatal diagnoses. She knows of what she speaks, as she and her husband adopted their fifth child following her abandonment because of a disability. The author spoke about My Child, My Gift (New City Press, 2008) with Register correspondent Judy Roberts.


When did you first learn how serious prenatal diagnoses are being handled today and how did you happen to write a book about the subject?

I really think it was by God’s design. The book is dedicated to Baby Joseph, the grandson of JoAnn McOsker, founder of Catholics for Life. Four years ago, JoAnn called me and said, “Madeline, my daughter Maria is pregnant. She went to the doctor for her prenatal test, and the doctor told her the baby has anencephaly and sent her home with this book and to get back to him about what to do. This is a horrible book. Madeline, you have to write something.”

The book she was talking about was about 119 pages, and maybe three or four talked about bringing the baby to birth. All the rest of the book was about ending the pregnancy early and this whole mask of making “loving decisions” for the baby when people are actually getting an abortion.

In doing research, I discovered this whole web of deception and pressure put on women with adverse diagnoses. Doctors are telling them the baby has this condition, and they’ll say, “Well, there’s no point in continuing the pregnancy. We’ll schedule the termination for Thursday. You’ll have a premature labor, premature delivery, and you can say good-bye to your baby early.” They use all the terms commonly associated with a naturally occurring death of a child.


Do most such diagnoses end in termination?

They do. About 90% of them. Even babies that don’t have a fatal disability but a mental/educational disability, or just a physical disability, like spina bifida or missing limbs, are being terminated be--cause they’re not perfect. They’re not “normal.” The sad thing is, as I talked to women who went through their pregnancies, even those with a condition where the baby died, the mothers were so grateful for their child and for having had their child, even if the baby only lived a few minutes.

They felt like they learned so many things through this pregnancy and through this child that they wouldn’t have otherwise learned. And they would do it all over again.

It was really beautiful. One mother said, “God has a reason for this child, and you only find out that reason if you go through the pregnancy.”


Can parents always be sure that prenatal diagnoses are correct?

No, they can’t. This is a big problem, but a lot of parents are so spooked by the diagnosis of the potential of the child having a problem, they’d rather take a chance on terminating a baby that doesn’t have a problem than take a chance on having a child with a problem. I have stories in the book where the diagnoses were not correct or where the doctor thought the condition was more severe than it was, or maybe not even problematic. You really don’t know what the child’s condition is until the child is actually born and can be evaluated.


Although you have not gone through a serious prenatal diagnosis yourself, you know what it is like to have a child with a disability. How did that occur?

We saw our daughter, Kay-Marie, in a mailing from Food for the Poor, a relief agency for the poor in the Caribbean. She was a “poster child” for Mona Rehab Center (now the Golding Rehab Center) and was about 3 years old, sitting on a nurse’s lap. Her legs were missing from the knee down. As I looked at this appeal for assistance, I felt what I can only call the Holy Spirit saying, “That is your daughter.” Through a long series of events and contacts and prayers, we were finally able to adopt Kay-Marie when she was nearly 7 years old. She wears two lower-limb prostheses and is quite a capable young businesswoman of 22 now.


How did you get the information in your book?

I spent a year or so doing research and did get a lot of help from a number of “carrying-to-term” sites on the Internet run by women who had had babies with adverse diagnoses and were helping other moms. They gave me a lot of references and people to talk to. Some of the moms read the book and commented on it.


What can pastors and family members do to help parents with a problematic prenatal diagnosis?

They should really try to understand, first of all, that the parents are naturally going to be very grieved and probably angry and experience a lot of emotions — helplessness, despair, confusion, mixed feelings. So you need to just listen to what the parents are saying; reflect back to them their own thoughts; allow them to grieve and cry. Assure them they are strong enough to see this through, that friends and family will support them and be there for them and will pray with them.

I would encourage priests and pastors to get a copy of the brochure “Poor Prenatal Diagnosis: Pastoral Care to Support Parents in Carrying to Term,” available from the Confraternity of Penitents (Penitents.org/prolifeclergybrochure.htm), and read it and have it on hand. They should at least know where the resources are, in case women come to them with this problem. The same with parents or relatives who may be faced with this suddenly.


What do you advise parents to do if they get a negative diagnosis?

They should probably get a second opinion, but should just try to hold onto their faith at this point and remember: This is my baby, and God gave me this baby for a reason, and I don’t know the potential of my child. My doctor doesn’t know. Only God knows the potential. If I just hold on and see this pregnancy through, however it turns out, then God is going to give me the strength to take one day at a time, however long I have with this child. If my child survives and I wind up parenting my child, God will give me the strength and gifts I need to parent this child.

Judy Roberts writes from

Graytown, Ohio.

ON THE WEBMyChildMyGift.com