One-time Cockney gangster John Pridmore from London is a former nightclub bouncer, drug dealer and self-confessed thug.

He has just published the remarkable story of his transformation to youth evangelist in his book, From Gangland to Promised Land (Darton Long and Todd, available on Amazon.com).

He spent time with the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal in the Bronx borough but is now leading youth missions with Youth 2000 Ireland. He told Paul Burnell about his own road to Damascus.

What kind of background did you have?

My mum was Catholic, and my dad, a London cop, was brought up in the Church of England but had no strong religious beliefs. Living in London mum drifted away from her Catholic faith soon after I was born and only went to church occasionally. Yet each time we walked past the church where I had been baptized she reminded me of it.

Did you have any faith then?

I was always fascinated by God, even at that age, and I once asked an aunt to buy me a Bible. I have a lot of happy memories from the early years of my childhood. Looking back I felt secure, content, loved.

When did things go wrong?

When I was 10 my parents divorced. I was devastated. The two people I loved most had crushed me. I felt unloved and as I grew up I vowed I would never love so I could not get hurt. In those teen-age years I dabbled in petty crime and served time in prison for stealing. What I really wanted was someone to ask what was happening with me. Soon I was led into big-time drug dealing. This led to crack parties, life in a penthouse and a Mercedes with a personalized numberplate. I was high on the buzz from drugs, violence, power and reputation and an endless supply of money and sex.

What made you change?

In the summer of 1991 I was working as a bouncer in a West End pub in London. I smashed a guy on the chin with my knuckle-duster, and as his head hit the sidewalk it exploded, spattering blood everywhere. Thank God the guy lived. Back at my flat I sat alone thinking how messed up my life had become. I wondered how I could nearly kill someone and not care. Then I heard what could only be described as a voice. It was telling me the worst things I had ever done. I thought it must be the TV but when I flicked it off the voice was still there. Then something clicked—it was the voice of my conscience, the voice of God. I fell to my knees and tears began to well up in my eyes. “Give me another chance!” I pleaded with God.

What happened then?

Suddenly I felt as if someone's hands were on my shoulders and I was being lifted up. An incredible warmth overpowered me and the fear evaporated. At that moment I really knew—not just believed—that God was real. Then I did something I had never done before—I prayed, “God, up to now all I have ever done is take from you in my life—now I want to give!” The most awesome feeling of love overpowered me. This was the most amazing buzz I have ever experienced. Then I knew for the first time I was loved by God—I had always thought I was worthless and it did not matter if I lived or died.

I went straight to tell my mom that I had found God. She replied, “What? At 1:30 in the morning?” After I had told my story she told me, “I have always prayed for you every day of my life but two weeks ago I felt my prayers were not being answered so I told Jesus to take you. If it meant that you died then he had to let you die. But not to let you hurt yourself or anyone else anymore.” She also told me she had said a novena to St. Jude, patron of hopeless cases.

How did you follow this up?

I went to Youth 2000 retreats and eventually went to confession for the first time in my life. I was at Westminster Cathedral and told the priest everything I did. He asked what prayers I knew and I told him the Our Father. He told me to say the Our Father for my penance and said to me, “Welcome home.” When I came out of the confessional I felt an indescribable joy.

I should have gone on a retreat but I was sentenced to prison for non-payment of fines. I shared a cell with a gypsy and I found out he was Catholic, although he hadn't been to church in years. He hadn't been able to contact his wife. We prayed the rosary together—the next morning the warden came in and said [the gypsy's] wife had given birth to a girl and was on her way to see him. He fell to his knees said he was going to give his life to God and wasn't going to drink anymore.

What did you tell the priest who invited you to the retreat?

When I got out I phoned him and he laughed but told me there was another one at the ancient shrine of Aylesford in Kent, England. I was still finding Mass boring at this time. The speaker was Father Slavko Barbaric from Medjugorje, Yugoslavia. I had a strong sense I should go to confession to him. I told him everything. He placed his hands on my head and absolved me, and I could feel Jesus' blood running down my face and an incredible love going through me. I still found it hard to believe Jesus was truly present in the Bread. I asked another guy about it and he told me to ask Jesus to help me understand. I did and felt an incredible experience similar to that night when I first prayed in my flat.

I knew Jesus was really present and all my hang-ups about the Catholic Church vanished. Somebody told me father had brought some young people who said they saw Our Lady. I was in the same room as them and asked God to show me if this was real. Again I had another experience of his love and felt I had been reborn.

At one stage you joined the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal in the Bronx. What happened?

After a time I was told to really ask God if this was my vocation. I prayed “your will be done” each day. One night in prayer I saw a wounded child behind a wall but noticed the wall was knocked down. I read my Bible and saw the words, “Go home; your servant is healed.” I realized I had been healed and that I had joined the friars not because God wanted me to be a friar but because I wanted to be holy.

God had used my time in New York to heal me and make me a better person. Before I left for England I went on retreat at the center where Father Benedict Groeschel is based. I told him about my decision. He blessed me and said, “John, you're a free spirit and God will use you as a free spirit.”

What are you doing at the moment?

I am doing school retreats, school missions and weekend retreats with Youth 2000 Ireland. I am not really based anywhere. I stay with lay people and priests. We move around and rely completely on God's providence. I have been here since October 2001. We work on both sides of the border. We have been up to Belfast and Derry.

Was it hard to write the book? You are very frank about your past life and your struggles.

I didn't want it to seem that I was something special. The only person who is special is God. I didn't think it was that hard; there were some things that I didn't want to remember, but I had to remember them.

What kind of impact does your testimony have on young people?

I think because I am real and because I make myself vulnerable they just respond. I had one girl come up to me recently to speak about confession. She said, “I'm a Protestant. We don't have confession.” Since she wasn't a practicing Protestant, I told her to speak with a priest and tell him what she felt.

We had a call from the religious education teachers at a school we visited recently saying that many of the children went to confession that Saturday followed by Holy Mass on Sunday—this was the first time it had happened.

Some speakers might just tell their story and then leave, but you seem to spend a lot of time just talking one-on-one with the young people. Is that as important as sharing your testimony?

I think this is just as important. I think some of the conversations I have had with the young people have been very important. I was in County Clare when a 16-year-old came up to me and said, “I also had a bad childhood.” This kid came up to me and said he was abused when he was a kid and couldn't forgive the guy. I told him, “Even though it's not your fault go to confession and confess not being able to forgive this man. Just speak to the priest as if you were speaking to Jesus.” He realized Jesus loved him even though he felt nobody could love him. That would never have happened if I did not hang around just to chat. Because I make myself vulnerable they feel they can share their vulnerability.

One kid wrote to me and said, “You told us so much about yourself I wanted to tell you something about me.” Most of the youngsters we meet are 15-plus and adults never tell them their own vulnerabilities.

Are you able to reach kids who were like you at that age?

There was one kid—I just saw his pain. When we finished, I asked him what his name was and told him I would be praying for him. Jesus sees your pain and he is with you. At the end of the mission the teacher told me, “We're really worried about him. Will you go and have a word with him?” It was almost as if I saw myself in him. He expressed what he was feeling and really opened up. He was beginning to pray before my talk that he felt there must be someone who loved him, and his prayer was answered.