NEW YORK — From the numbers of homosexual couples who have been defying their states' marriage laws, one might think all homosexuals favor same-sex marriage.

But attention to the issue has largely overlooked homosexuals who have turned their backs on the lifestyle.

There are members of Courage, for example, a Catholic apostolate that helps those with same-sex attraction lead a chaste life.

Megan, a member of Courage who did not want her last name used, said the drive behind same-sex marriage is the lack of self-acceptance among homosexuals.

“I don't really believe gay activists accept themselves,” she said. “That's why they push so hard for others to accept them.”

Megan said allowing marriage for homosexuals will lead to spiritual harm.

“If the government legalizes this, it clouds the definition of marriage,” she said. “The unity and complementarity of the male/woman marital nucleus will be shaky and called into question.”

With regard to the recent wave of mayors granting marriage licenses to same-sex partners, Mark Shields, spokesman for the pro-homosexual Human Rights Campaign, believes they are simply reflecting the needs of their constituents.

He argues that legalizing same-sex marriage would lessen promiscuity and other problems associated with homosexual behavior.

But Frank, another member of Courage, believes promiscuity is more prevalent in the homosexual community and that there is a higher number of people with psychological problems.

“This drives them to act out their desires with multiple partners,” he said.

Dr. Richard Fitzgibbons, a Catholic psychiatrist who works with homosexuals, agrees.

The most well-designed studies ever done on homosexuality come from the Netherlands and New Zealand, he said. The Dutch study shows that homosexuals are three times more likely to develop psychiatric illness, while the New Zealand study concludes they are five times more likely to develop psychiatric illness.

The psychiatric illnesses homosexuals are more likely to develop, as listed in the Catholic Medical Association's 2003 pamphlet “Homosexuality and Hope,” are major depression, suicidal ideation and attempts, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, conduct disorder, low self-esteem, promiscuity and inability to maintain committed relationships.

Catholic psychologist Joseph Nicolosi of the Thomas Aquinas Psychological Clinic near Los Angeles agreed that legalizing same-sex marriage would do harm.

“We will see more and more social pathology,” said Nicolosi, a co-founder of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality. “There will be an increase in broken relationships, gender-confused children who have never known their mother or their father, children created through unnatural means…and a widespread absence of the sexual restraint that is vital to keeping families intact.”

Many who spoke to the Register want to see the U.S. bishops provide leadership on the issue, perhaps in the form of a pastoral letter.

“People know less about their faith than they used to,” said Father Kazimierz Kowalski, a member of the board of advisers for Courage. “People lack a comprehension for the foundations on this issue. The pretense is that our political system is deciding what nature is. Marriage is a reality whose existence is prior to the state.”

Oblate of St. Francis de Sales Father John Harvey has been working in this ministry for decades.

“If homosexual activity, by its nature, is seriously immoral according to the teachings of the Catholic Church, then we can't accept this behavior as such and call it marriage,” he said. “It's a misnomer. People say, ‘This is the way I have to be, and I have the right to do this.’ This is one of the premises of the homosexual agenda. Yet neither the public at large nor statesmen know how to handle this.”

Confusion about the true meaning of marriage began, according to Father Harvey, with the public's approval of contraception.

“Contraception cut off the meaning of sexuality,” he said. “It had meant the union of men and women with the hope of children. Now it can be just companionship.”

Lack of respect for marriage is cited as a major factor leading to the push for homosexual marriage.

“We have a degraded sense of traditional marriage,” said David Morrison, a Courage member and author of the book Beyond Gay. “We've dragged it through the muck…. People can get married in Las Vegas and then obtain a no-fault divorce.”

Morrison believes same-sex marriage probably will become legal.

“But even if … we manage to stave it off, we haven't done ourselves any favors. Discipleship is still a problem,” he said. “Christians divorce at the same rates as non-Christians.”

Members of Courage and those who minister to them worry that legalizing same-sex marriage will push homosexuals away from getting the psychiatric and spiritual help they need. It will also push people away from the freedom and happiness of living chastely, they say.

“The spiritual component is really the heart and soul of Courage,” Megan said. “My faith has become so real to me. For many people in Courage, the Eucharist and the Blessed Mother through the rosary have played powerful roles in coming back to God.”

Sabrina Ferrisi writes from New York. Register correspondent Andrew Walther contributed to this article.