Sunday, Aug. 26, is the 21st Sunday in Ordinary Time (Year B, Cycle II).
Readings
Joshua 24:1-2, 15-18; Psalm 34:2-3, 16-23; Ephesians 5:21-32; John 6:60-69
Our Take
“This saying is hard; who can accept it?”
That’s what the disciples in the Gospel say about Jesus’ words regarding the Eucharist.
But when we hear that in today’s culture, we might think the hard-to-accept saying is in the second reading — about wives being subordinate to their husbands.
The reading sounds shocking to us. But if it said the opposite of what it does, it would shock us even more:
“Wives should lord it over their husbands, for the wife and husband are separate, not united like the Church and Christ.
“The husband is not the head of his wife; he should not consider himself one body with her.
“Wives, push back against your husbands in everything.
“Husbands, do not love your wife as Christ loved the Church. Do not suffer for her.”
That sounds absurd as an exhortation, but it might be a fairly accurate description of what too many marriages become.
The bottom line for the reading from Ephesians is its first line: “Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This isn’t a call for dominance; it’s a call for humility and unity.
Keeping that in mind, realize the wisdom of the marital advice in the letter.
First, the shocker: “Wives should be subordinate in their husbands in everything.” Yes, the two are mutually submissive, but the reading undeniably makes a special point of the wife’s submission.
But consider what polls say are the most common complaints husbands have against their wives: “Women complain, criticize and nag too much,” “women are too controlling,” “women are seldom happy,” and “wives withhold intimacy from their husbands as punishment.”
In other words, while both should be subordinate to each other, perhaps women in general particularly need to hear the advice to be more mild and accepting.
Next, consider the advice to husbands: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her. … Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.”
This also seems suited to the most common complaints women have about men: “My husband doesn’t talk to or listen to me,” “he only pays attention to me when he wants intimacy,” and “he doesn’t show any interest in me or what I do.”
It seems that husbands might particularly need to hear St. Paul’s advice to love their wives with sensitivity, generosity and self-sacrifice.
The real lesson of the reading is that all of this advice will only work if it is done “out of reverence for Christ.”
Prioritizing a marriage around service to the Lord is guaranteed to elevate and direct it. It will also tend to make many problems fall away.
In the first reading, Joshua gathers the tribe of Israel and asks them to make a choice. Then he reveals the choice that he and his wife and children have made:
“As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."
You may have seen that verse on a placard in a house. Friends of ours have it embroidered and framed. It is a beautiful foundation for a family.
The Israelites found it inspiring, too. They agreed that they will serve the Lord, and they say why: Because he has done so much for them, even if they wanted to leave him, they couldn’t justify it.
That’s the same response the apostles give to Jesus in today’s Gospel.
When many of his disciples abandon him because of the teaching on the Eucharist, he asks the Twelve if they also want to leave.
“Master, to whom shall we go?” says Peter. “You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God.”
This sounds hopeless, in one sense. Peter can’t think of a good reason to stay with Jesus, but he’s willing to stick around just because he’s Jesus. But it is exactly the kind of honest response Christ needs.
In our own married life, if things become difficult, we can say the same thing. We don’t always see why, but we know we are supposed to stick this out in order to stay close to the Lord. So that’s what we’re going to do.
So we can pray at Mass today: “As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” After all, where else would we go? And know that the grace of God will be there to give us true joy.
Tom and April Hoopes write from Atchison, Kansas,
where Tom is writer in residence at Benedictine College.
Comments
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I always thought submitting to my husband meant that I was under “sub” his mission, “mit”. His mission is to love me so much that he would die for me. I have never had a problem with this verse.
Reading this letter of Paul needs to understand the culture of Paul’s time. Women were nothing. They were property, owned by their father’s until he sold them to a husband. The U.S. Conference of Bishops put out a position paper on marriage a couple of year’s ago. They dispute this “submission” statement of St. Paul. They quote JPII as saying that Paul was influenced by the culture of his time. They state that Paul’s statement that it should be a mutual dubmission is the correct one. How long have we heard the other interpretation? Don’t believe it? Read the document. Trust me that it was it says!
This may be off topic, but, why SUBORDINATE???
I Don’t understand why we have to make changes to the Liturgy that are not, in my opinion, necessary. What point are we trying to make by not using the words “submit” or “subject”?
CCC-1605;
“Holy Scripture affirms that man and woman were created for one another: “It is not good that the man should be alone.“92 The woman, “flesh of his flesh,” his equal, his nearest in all th
ings, is given to him by God as a “helpmate”; she thus represents God from whom comes our help.93 “Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.“94 The Lord himself shows that this signifies an unbreakable union of their two lives by recalling what the plan of the Creator had been “in the beginning”: “So they are no longer two, but one flesh.“95”
To surrender, to submit, to give your ALL to your spouse, to become one with each other through a Covenant with Christ is an act we GIVE FREELY with GREAT LOVE. TO ME, the word subordinate places a title of lower class of less importance. Being subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ, makes no sense to me. It just sounds ugly. My Queen is NOT my subordinate. We are ONE. But this is only attained through Christ and His Great Love for us. We are His Gifts to each other. Words matter…
In my Parish the shorter version of the second reading was read. Political correctness reigns.
I’am 46 yrs old and I was born in the civil rights era in 1966. My parents divorced after 9 yrs and 6 kids when the youngest died at 4 mos of age. We suffered the loss of not just a brother but a father as well. My mothers mother passed away at age 13 and she was reared by a father and brother. They were not devout and didnt go to church much. My father was not devout and never worried about his salvation. The point I want to make is that even though things were out of control I always knew in my heart that there should always be a head in the household and that the head would take care of the rest of the body. I remember feeling unprotected and uncertain. I didnt have much of a relationship with my dad but I felt we were now more vulnerable without him. I have always liked to serve and be a lady who finds it an act of love to be a good wife and mother I have always known that if we women allow the man to be the head and allow him to fulfill his role than life at home runs orderly the way God calls it to be. There is actually beauty in the way that the husband is given respect when the wife and children acknowledge it and the husband in turn loves his wife and kids because they honor him. I have always known that we are not created equal and I have always detested the womens lib. Womens lib created chaos in the home…the ordained order of things from God were disrupted. There is a book written called, “How to change your husband” written by a friend of Medjugorje and it is a must read. It teaches women that there is honor and order when we allow the Holy Spirit to guide us in being the kind of subordinate wife God wants us to be to our husbands. Obedience to the Word will take away our disorder in marriage and family life. Mary was the perfect subordinate wife and Joseph a loving husband to his wife and child because of it. We should pray to be submissive in the manner that the Holy Family was and we too will be blessed. Peace and much love to you all in the love of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Mrs. Edna Ruiz Manrique
Lovely and inspired!
One of the best articles I’ve ever read on this topic!!! Priests, even orthodox priests, almost always soft-pedal Ephesians 5, especially as it relates to a woman being subordinate to her husband. As Catholics committed to our faith, we must remember that although some of the Church’s teachings In Christian marriage can appear difficult in today’s secularized culture, they will always lead to happiness, holiness, and eternal life.
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