My son is 15. I’ve been a weak disciplinarian since he was little. Is it too late for me to change — for his sake and mine?

It’s too late to change ourselves when this life is over. Short of that, improvement is always possible. That said, sometimes the odds of our change making much difference in someone else may be slim.

Nevertheless, you must act in the hopes of success, no matter what the reality of success might be.

Let’s say your doctor has just discovered that, for some years, you have been unknowingly eating foods that were damaging your stomach. How do you react to this revelation?

You stop eating those foods immediately, even if you’re not sure your stomach will res-pond. At the least, you want no further damage. At best, you want to heal.

At some point in their childrearing career, most parents become aware if they’ve been moving in a bad direction. The evidence accumulates over time. Unfortunately, for many, awareness doesn’t necessarily lead to change.

But for those who do make adjustments, there is bad news and good news. The bad news: The longer-lived the problems, the slower and harder the improvement. The good news: The chances of success are much higher now than they were before the change of direction.

In your situation, the bad news is that your son is not 8 years old. The good news is that he’s not 18.

So, once you start to change, how will he change?

First in behavior. Later in attitude. Suppose you establish a new house rule. All chores and duties, including schoolwork, must be satisfactorily completed before any privileges begin. Your son — once he comes to believe this new you is really you and not some alien life force controlling his mother’s body — will most likely start to comply within weeks, even days. But only because he is feeling forced to. And only because it is in his own self-interest.

For a while, your son will be more convinced than ever that you are unreasonable, dictatorial or arbitrary. And these are your good qualities. Such is to be expected.

Actions can be changed much more quickly than minds. Many of your son’s wrong-headed views are years old. You aren’t going to right them in two months.

When will his attitude start to improve? I don’t know. (And I get paid for this.) But I do know that, if you persevere through his resistance, Stepford Child compliance may eventually become respectful cooperation. That is your ultimate goal.

There are other critical reasons to reverse your parenting, even if it seems late. And their number corresponds exactly to the number of younger brothers and sisters.

They see what trails you are blazing with big brother. You didn’t mention other siblings, but, if they are there, always know that they are watching you. Closely. Change those trails now, and you will change theirs too. And then “Is it too late?” won’t need to be asked again.

For more of Ray Guarendi’s wit and wisdom, visit the redesigned DrRay.com.