Vatican II had much to do with people leaving the church.  Vat II made changes for the sake of change-a typical liberal philosophy.  There were no reasons for the changes.  Pre-Vat II, the seminaries, convents, and schools were full.  Mass Attendance was over 90%.  Why the changes?  The modernists (liberals) had been trying to get their people in charge since before Pope Pius X, who tried to keep the Modernists out of the church, because he knew the consequences.  Finally, with the election of Pope John XIII, the modernists successfully infiltrated the Vatican.  Pope John Paul II and our present Pope played a part in Vat. II.  Now we have the negative consequences of Post Vatican II.  Empty seminaries, convents and schools closing at an alarming rate.  Mass attendance about 30% to 35%.  Luckily, the Latin mass is making a remarkable comeback, with mass attendance at over 95% in my parish.  Maybe we will see a turnaround in the future, since the passive bishops have become more active with Obama’s mandate on the Catholic church.

We seem to have confusion in the heirarchy on the teachings of the Church - example is the priest who was reprimanded for refusing Communion to a homosexual woman.  Why was he reprimanded and if the reason is just, can’t the Church communicate that to the confused masses?  We have a serious communication problem - what do we believe, what are the teachings, is there a choice to cherry pick?  Most do not know these answers and the Church at a national or local level does not communicate.  I think we need a “2 minute Catechesis” at every Mass to get the churchgoers, at least, up to speed on what they are there for.  Our pastors and front-liners need much people skill training - at least a gentle and patient demeanor, rather than an impatient, rushed, stressed out encounter.  Many Catholics need a warm, welcoming and patient smile from their Church community.

the REAL REASON is because the Church puts the other religions almost on the same level as the Catholic Church in achieving eternal salvation….worship whomever you want and however you want…...AND THE CHURCH WONDERS WHY IT LOSES MEMBERSHIPS….........

So sad to see people leaving the church but I do understand some of their problems. Don’t get me wrong I love my church but sometimes I wish the homilies were more relavent to the problems we as parents are facing today. I also wish that the preaching would be more positive.  The church always talks about how bad we are and how much we need to repent, which is true in some ways but what about preaching about how good we are and how much god loves us?  It gets very depressing to continuously hear how bad we all are. It should be a positive lifetime experience to be part of the church. I feel like it has always been so negative. I haven’t seen or heard very much positive and there are days that I am so very discouraged and wonder, does God truly love me and have I been good enough?  I wouldn’t ever go to another church though. I love receiving my Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.  I believe and I trust that he is truly there.  Just wish it was a little more uplifting.  Blessed be God Forever!  M.Conrad

I agree with most of this article, but some pieces are not realistic. For example: that a priest should make private appointments with parishioners who have issues with Church doctrine. Is it a cute, fun, cozy idea? Sure, but it’s not realistic. I’m the youth minister at our parish and my conversations with our pastor are few and far between. Our priest honestly doesn’t have the time to have multiple one-on-one meetings with people on a regular basis. With the shortage of priests in my area, it’s a wonder that he can set up any private appointments at all! He’s the administrator for the two biggest parishes in our deanery and the head of a pre-k through 8th grade Catholic school. A priest is a priest: he’s only one man.

I think the better solution would be for Catholics in general, and especially parish staff, to educate themselves on the issues and be willing to have the one-on-one conversations on their own. Again, I’m just the YM, but I’m more than happy to discuss annulments, divorce, gay marriage, the impossibility of women’s ordination, abortion, euthanasia, contraception, NFP, scripture, theology, and much more. In fact, I already do with my youth (because they ask) and would be more than happy to talk with adults as well. Why does the responsibility always have to lie with the priest? We should all be willing to be open and discuss the faith.

I read with dismay the article regarding the Vatican’s reprimand of the LCRW for expressing their views.  This is the primary reason why modern women have left the Catholic Church.  The Vatican is out of touch with today’s women.  I see no where in the Bible that Jesus forbade women from beings leaders in the Church.  The Vatican’s response to these nuns is clearly sexist.  The Church has absolutely no right to become involved in my personal choices.  We live in a country that allows for both Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Religion.  These nuns have every right, and should be encouraged, not reprimanded, for expressing their personal views.  This is how religions evolve.  Even the Vatican has made numerous changes over the centuries to Catholic dogma.  Do not discount these views simply because they are not made by the male hierarchy of the Church.  Remember, Jesus was an outcast in his day and his religious and spiritual views were punished by those in power at the time.  The Vatican leadership should respect all views and not model cruel and unjust power.

I once had a car that broke down all the time. Needed jump-starts a lot. I always prayed and looked around for help. Neighbors, friends, strangers coming out of a store, even once I went into a bar and just asked if someone could help. Always found help. Once I was downtown near the Diocesan Chancery. I thought, “good, I know I can turn there for help”. I went to the front desk and went up to the receptionist, to see if there might be someone around with a spare minute to start up their car and get mine going. I got the coldest reception I’ve ever experienced, and went away sad.

It’s the Saint Francises of the world that will renew the church, not the bishops and priests and the institutions.

Great article.

All Churches have suffered lost membership. Catholic churches are not standing alone. We all know people that claim to be christen that have not been inside a church in 10 or more years. We have failed in some ways by not having placed our attention to small groups. Sunday school for example should be talked about on a regular schedule. Our church has over 500 members and only one adult Sunday school class of about 20 or so members. If we placed more attention to promoting small groups our membership loss would be much less and start to grow again. Many protestant churches have a coffee hour after each service that allows not only the members but visitors a chance to know each other. A friendly atmosphere encourages members to be active and visitors the desire to become part of the church community. Members should make a point of greeting visitors or parishioners that they do not know. A friendly attitude will make a church look like beautiful flower. I have learned over the years that the best thing to bond the family is taking my wife and my mother flowers. A friendly hart will bond and increase the reason for being an active member of the parish.

When my parents left the Church they gave many reasons for leaving. No one visited them in the hospital (they hadn’t asked), the priest talked politics a lot (they are Democrats), the priest scandal was breaking news, then they brought up the Nazi pope, the Inquisition, and rules on divorced people receiving communion. As you can see, not every reason is a rational one (!), but every reason was one they had spent a lot of time thinking about in relative isolation. I heartily agree that a great parish staff will do a lot to make a church parish accessible, but I believe even more heartily in competent adult education programs that allow drifting Catholics to have an orthodox venue to voice their concerns with their peers. If adult Catholics can’t be encouraged by, and sometimes even commiserate with, other adult Catholics, they will go where they can at least be encouraged by other Christians. Without a good education (and how few of us really have had sufficient faith formation?) they won’t realize what—and Who—they are really leaving.

While times are never “perfect”, e.g., mass attendance; following the Faith, obviously the errors allowed to be taught and supported over the past decades truly led to people leaving the Church.  We all ahve adopted modernist views to some degree-but we should try all the more to follow the traditional teachings of the Church and evangelize our brothers and sisters, with charity and firmness in her teachings.  And of course, attend and promote the most beautiful thing this side of Heaven: the Traditional Mass!

if people don’t want to follow Jesus Christ, and reject his Teaching, isn’t it in some sense better for them to leave the Church?
The Church is for the faithful, not the unfaithful, so if people leave God bless them.
How is this reasoning wrong and why? (an honest question)

Thank you so much, Fr. Barron for acknowledging that some self-criticism has to be done.  It keeps us humble and benefits all.  How right you are that the parish secretary is the face of the parish.  She or he can make a good pastor look bad or an aloof pastor seem more friendly.  It seems like a no-brainer but this is a systemic problem.  This, plus the pastor who is indifferent to parishioners talents but ever interested in their wallets.  To be fair, I don’t think most pastors realize this.  After this survey, however, they must be!

Poor homilies are certainly a problem, especially the ones that don’t jive with the Gospel.  But for me, the most egregious error, and one that I think must drive many away, is a Mass that is poorly prayed by the priest.  I have often wondered if Fr. has his mind on something else or perhaps he has something better to do.  Frequently, and at various parishes, I have heard the presiding priest speed-speak his way through the Mass to the point where it seemed irreverent.

Sometimes I get the sensation of being at a drive-thru where I think about what I want, place the order, pay, and eat, all within a few minutes!

Slow down, Father!  Let the words marinate on your tongue and on the tongues of the faithful.  Give the words a chance to pass through ear to the mind.  Use a voice that is measured and warm.  And, most of all, make sure that even the ones in the last row can hear you.  Don’t be afraid of being a bit too loud.  What you are saying is vital to our very existence and our relationship to the Lord.

My anecdote:
My daughter was in grade school in a private, not parish, Catholic school.  The school was in the good graces of the diocese.
.
May Day celebration.  This is a ceremony in which a local girl carries flowers into the church and presents/places them at the statue of Mary.  In many cultures and traditions this is a big deal for the girls and their families, it is considered a huge honor.
Sister chooses a lovely, smart, good girl to have this honor.  However, the child and her parents were practicing Baptists, you know, Wednesday evening services, Bible study Sunday morning and two services on Sunday, Baptists.  To this little girl and her family, this honor has no religious or cultural meaning - in fact, honoring Mary in such a way is frowned up on the Baptist church. 
I have a meeting with Sister and the school principal to ask questions and give my opinion.  I was called unChristian, my child was told that I was unChristian for objecting to a non-Catholic child having that particular position in the May Day procession.
The reason for choosing the non-Catholic child for the May Day procession honor:  ecumenicalism.

CatholicYM- you sound like you could be from my parish…the poor man is run ragged!  And I added to it yesterday with an appointment for my cub scout’s Light of Christ interview.  But at least I know my kids are getting catechized.

My question is: why is it always on the parish priest or the parish secretary???  Too many times the secretary is handling things that it seems she shouldn’t, the priests are exhausted, and we (parishioners) are either overworked and our houses are trashed because we volunteer too much OR we are standing around with our thumb in our ears.  In my parish I am seeing a lot of worrying about stair heights/getting wet and no one asking why our scouts are leaving to go up to the Independent Bible Church. And there is NOTHING for the girls. But Father needs to fix that! Is it really so hard to call so-and-so from Sunday School and ask “hey, we’ve missed you, everything ok?” on our own instead waiting for someone “official” to do it?

2 comments:
1) We all know someone who has left the Church. If we each invited one person to join us at Mass and introduced them to another person in the parish after Mass, maybe they would feel welcome.
2) I’ve also noticed that it’s easier for people to get mad at/blame a “thing” like the Church instead of a person that can’t get mad at them in return.

I am a ‘re-vert’—left Holy Church within three years of my Confirmation which coincided with my leaving Catholic school due to tuition increases (so that my other siblings could continue to attend & complete their First Communions & Confirmations.  I was happy to leave the overload of all-things-Catholic and enter the freedom of public school and enjoy my non-Catholic/non-Christian friends. I returned in 1996 - age 40—because my soul longed for Holy Communion.  My life was full of success in every way possible ...but not spiritually. Spiritually, I was berefit.  But I knew in my heart what would fill me up again—our Lord Jesus in the Eucharist. As I came back to Holy Church, I made the conscious decision to learn to embrace it in full—to study the Bible at last, to study the VCII documents and ALL Church documents, to read the new Catechism of the Catholic Church (which coincidentally??? had just been issued in English), to volunteer to teach the children, to volunteer with our social justice outreach programs—to really embrace the goodness of the Church. Especially not to criticize it as my parents had done.
Now I’m the RCIA director—seven years this week—and finding myself completely in love with the Church, with our Holy Father, with the work we ahead of us—an amazing Catholic adventure!

@Clementa Mannarelli

First, it’s strange for you to reference solely the Bible to support your contention that the Magisterium is somehow wrongfully preventing women from being leaders in the Church. Of course, Catholics believe in teachings both contained in the Bible and Tradition.

Second, the Church has *never* changed dogma. Dogma, definitionally, does not change. That’s why the Church can’t just “get with the times” and join arms with all of the relativists and “change its mind” on gay marriage, the ordination of women, divorce, contraception, and so on. Just like it can’t all of a sudden decide that our Holy Mother wasn’t ever-virgin. To the extent you’re referring to changes made in Vatican II, those changes were changes to lowercase “t” tradition—things like saying Mass in the vernacular or facing the congregation. Little “t” traditions can be changed, whereas big “T” Tradition—truth revealed by God—can never be changed.

Lastly, the Magisterium is completely justified in seeking reforms to the LRCW. This group openly supported those “Catholics” that spoke out in direct contradiction with our bishops. For instance, Sr. Keehan advocated for Obamacare even while the bishops’ conference was making serious moral objections to the possibility of the federal government funding abortions. She also undermined the bishops’ conference’s resistance against the HHS contraception mandate. It is the Magisterium’s duty to make sure that a group of religious teach and advocate the Church’s stance, and there’s been nothing “cruel” or “unjust” about it.

If you look it didn’t start twenty years ago. Our Lord said by their fruits you will know them. I’m a retired engineer, and I’m familiar with failure event mode analysis. Vatican II started it, with other events accelerating the fall off. Humanae Vitae was one and the two different sex scandals. The Church is infiltrated by it’s enemies. There are 76 million Catholics in the US, and 25% attend Sunday Mass, most receive and 75% are contracepting, this is sacrilege. The Chastisement which St. Sr. Lucia of Fatima said Our Lady warned us, is coming .

I also wonder how many of these ‘fallen-away’ Catholics are from divorced families (via their grandparents/parents/marrying divorced spouses). Many women have felt abused by the Church because their husbands were able to obtain nullification of their Catholic marriage and remarry in the Catholic Church. Children of divorced Catholic parents have a rough go in Catholic parish life. They feel they are outcasts because mom & dad are no longer at Mass together. From such experiences comes fractured religious education (due to custody issues) and stepping away from Sunday Mass & Holy Communion.  It may take the children (and spouses) years reconcile themselves with the parent/spouse/Church.

To my recolection the “America” magazine has in the past held extremely liberal views.  Thusly I am not ready to accept the point of view of the authors in every detail as unbiased. I hope the survey is not a liberal plea to revise Catholic teachings to present a watered down series of beliefs that fallen away Catholics can more readily accept. I recommend that the Catholic Catechism be preached and taught more aggressively at the parish level. Catholic civic leaders who do not support the Church on legislation sould be identified and publicly punished. Stop telling people only what they want to hear. Public relations can always be improved. People should be patient and keep in mind we have a shortage of priests.

What baloney all this is!  I think it is really very simple why people leave the Church. In years past the Church was necessary in some fashion to salvation. That is the ordinary path to salvation went something like this, one would adhere to teaching of the Church regarding the natural law and Divine law, thereby avoiding sin, especially serious sin receiving grace to do so through the sacraments, especially via the Eucharist and Confession, and received additional helps through the intercession of the Blessed Mother, the Saints. One may be helped to grow in holiness via any number of devotions, such as the devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus etc.. All of this was a cooperation in the graces God granted us, so that we may ultimately accept his gift of sanctifying grace and attain heaven. To fail to do so lead to hell. While it was possible to get to heaven without being so fortunate as to be a formal Catholic, the road was much more perilous. Bottum line to be a Faithful Catholic made it more likely that you would be saved than if you were not one. 

Does anyone stil lteach this anymore? Where? When was the last time anyone in the Church preached this? In the absence of this belief why would anyone stay a Catholic? The current popular teaching of the Church is that it offers an Oprah esque emotional sustenance, it gives meaning or fullfillment, The response to all this psychobabble is that people who do not happen to need emotional therapy wander off. This kind of gooey nonsense is particularly unappealing to men. I was mildly amused by something by oldest son said to me. He attends a Catholic high school and was at an event in which a number of very nice seminarians discussed their calling. There was a lot of talk about ministry and serving the Church. My son said no one mentioned anything about a zeal to save souls. ( non of that old fashioned Cur d Ars stuff! I do not mean any disrespect for these nice young men who will become I am sure kindly gentle priests. God bless them, but there is something about the way the Church conceives itself that is akin to a large “helping” organization. We talk about ministry, and support, and how can I help you.. We virtually never talk about heaven, hell and judgement. Frankly I do not need emotional support, I need the grace to avoid damnation. Is the Church still selling that? Some who still seek the salvation of their immortal souls end up in Evangelical Churches which still think Jesus came to redeem men who would otherwise end up in hell, other people wander off into some religion of their own making or no religion at all. One wonders how many leave the Church because in its current modernist conception it is presenting itself as a rather pointless affair? How many would return if it proclaimed clearly why we need her?

It appears that a professional customer service department is perhaps part of the solution. However, I interpret the survey not as an indictment of the Church’s poor customer service skills but rather reading between the lines one can deduce the root cause is simply people who lack faith in God… who have no love for God… who do not fear God. These symptoms of spiritual illness are notable in souls who do not pray daily… and who throughout the entire day do not enjoy intermittent communion with and being in the presence of the Holy Trinity.  If only they knew the joy of being in God’s continual presence!  If only they knew…

In my opinion, the biggest reason people are leaving Christianity is not because they haven’t heard the Good News, it’s because we as a society have forgotten the bad news - that we are all sinners in need of Christ’s redemptive sacrifice.  Of course there is a way to explain that without sounding like a stereotypical fire and brimstone preacher.  But, people aren’t interested in hearing about the Savior when they don’t believe they are in any need of saving.

I couldnt help but notice the Golden Cup with jewels on it at the head of this article.
No one mentioned that another reason for leaving the Church of Mary is that some people wise up. Someone must have shown them Rev 17;4.
Yes, ive had my catholic friends say over and over…but thats not us…its some other world powerful church that sits on a city of seven hills. Oh, it must be some other religion that holds a gold cup. Yeah, i check my rolladeck on world powerful churches that sits on seven hills and wears purple and scarlet. Must be hundereds of em.

People leave the Church because they are out of grace.  And why are they out of grace?  Well, for one thing the sacraments aren’t as plentifully available as they need to be be. Confession is difficult to get to, daily Mass is almost impossible- at least for a working parent. If there were 7AM daily Mass in virtually every parish in the country (and priests pushing it hard from the pulpit), with confessions heard before and after, things might well turn around.

For another, no one urges Catholics to stay away from the secularizing media. The priest has fifteen minutes on Sunday to offset the very many secular arguments and impressions left by aeons of television watching and newspaper reading by his people. It simply cannot be done.

The secular media are the mortal enemies of the Church, because the Church is opposed to the things that make the media rich: the world, the flesh and the devil.  Yet urging people to stay away is equated with urging them to hide their heads in the sand!

Neither priests nor people want to be parted from their secularizing distractions . . .and so we are out of grace.

I am a member in the Trenton Diocese who no longer goes to church.
I wasn’t asked my opinion and I am perfectly willing to give it.
As to the person who said isn’t it better if the people who don’t follow the teachings of Jesus leave the church, I have just one thing to say.  THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH DOES NOT FOLLOW THE TEACHINGS OF JESUS.  IT NEVER HAS.

I read that one comment and the comment was: 
This is how religions evolve.  This commenter was right
in that religions evolve….but the Catholic faith is not
just any ‘religion.’  It is the True Faith or Church. 

The American Catholic Church just went through a bunch of changes
in the liturgy so that it could correct translations that didn’t
reflect what tradition has passed down from the days of Jesus
on this earth.  Many of the prayers are the same prayers that
have been passed down, passed down UNCHANGED for over two thousand years.

How wonderful is this?  I would not want evolution to mutate the original Church because the original Church is the very Bride of Christ. 
Jesus GAVE us HIS CHURCH.  It is HIS CHURCH.  We are welcomed by HIM to
be apart of it.  It is not for us to decide what HIS GIFT to us should be.
If we think that, then we are pretty rude actually. 
HIS Church encompasses HIS LOVE and HIS LOVE wishes that we not sin
and follow HIS way.
Jesus gave us Peter and ‘Peter’ has watched over and guarded the Bride of Christ for over two thousand years. 
In fact, many, many pew sitters don’t realize it, but the consecration
is without time nor space.  There was, is, and will be only ONE sacrifice
and at EVERY MASS this ONE sacrifice happened, happens, and will happen.
The actual, single event is at EVERY MASS. 
There is NO EVOLUTION happening and there will never be any EVOLUTION happening.
So when modern culture thinks that now things are different…well
that is modern culture….it is not HIS CHURCH. 

The big WORD for the day should be ‘Transending.’  The Church has transended, is transending, will transend, and SHOULD transend….
especially to those outside of it.

Bad experiences, poor preaching, and lack of follow-up - all of these are problems, to be sure, but surely these cannot be the principal reason why people leave the faith. The principal reason why they leave, I would suggest, is lack of grounding in the truth, and in the person of Christ, due to lack of catechesis, learning, and devotion.

Surely, if we were convinced about the reality of the Church, where the Truth resides, and were in love with Christ who resides in the Eucharist, we would (with all the struggle expected) manifest all the perseverance of the One who endured all the “bad experiences, poor preaching, and lack of follow-up” and, indeed, was crucified by the leaders of the time, and abandoned by both the people and, in a sense, by God.

Although it was never mentioned, I believe it reveals first and foremost not this and that particular pastoral issue, but the need for thorough catechesis, especially in grounding them in the Real, Substantial Presence of Christ present in the Eucharist.

As always, the deepest needs for the Church here are profound humility, love of the truth, and true love.

The education issue can easily be resolved in our own homes by listening to the wonderful books and audio CDs (covering Scripture study, Mass, Confession, powerful conversion stories, and much more) from Lighthouse Catholic Media. You’ll see Fr Barrin’s talks there too. The CDs are only $5 each and have changed the lives of my family forever. I wish I had these CDs 20 years ago (in my teens) because back then I didn’t know anyone with the Catholic answers to my questions. I can’t recommend them highly enough.
http://www.LighthouseCatholicMedia.com
Also, it may be worth checking out http://www.BibleChristianSociety.com for some awesome Catholic apologetics you could have your parish print off (one per week perhaps) and give out to parishioners. Maybe you could help your priest(s) by becoming the SPOC (not the Star Trek character, the Single Point of Contact) for questions relating to these too?
God bless you all. :-)

Father Barron, my jaw dropped reading your article (it’s like you have been reading my mind!).  I have been complaining for the past several weeks to my fiance about the “bad customer relations”, as you put it, that I have been experiencing with my new parish priest and the some of staff employed by my diocese. It bothered me to the point that I wrote the the priest an email, telling him I was concerned about the fact that he didn’t seem to care about us, and asked if I could meet with him in person to futher discuss.  He sent me a one sentence response (didn’t even write my name), and that was to deal with his “associate”.  The diocese employee who I wrote to a few weeks before I wrote the priest, explaining that we could not afford the cost of the REQUIRED engagement retreat (as we are collectively $300,000 in debt due to graduate school loans) was too arrogant to even respond to me(although I had suggested some creative solutions on how to make the retreat more affordable).  I’m sure if I was the one paying to fill the gas in her Mercedes, I would have been treated with a lot more respect and human dignity.  I have been made to feel like a dollar sign, which is disappointing, but I will never leave the church because otherwise the “distant, aloof and insensitive” people like them will be the only ones left in it.  This really is one of the reasons why people are leaving.  Father, you were right on about the advice you gave to the church secretary. Thank you for this article, and so timely!

Fr.,

I find two things jumped out of your thoughts, and something from Scripture.

First, your ... “Sometimes the recipient of that “No” can all too facilely accuse the one who says it as arrogant or indifferent.” ... struck me.  The word indifferent was the term that hit.  As I’m sure you are well aware, a voiced concern during the Vatican II conference was the fruit of indifferntism that would be brought about.  Archbishop Lefebvre was probably the most outspoken on this point.  I am currently reading his “They Have Uncrowned Him” [no I am not a member of SSPX] and he covers this topic in some detail.

Second, the noting of “bad preaching”.  What is bad preaching?  I have my own thoughts, I hear it often enough that it’s akin to the well known court description of it; you know it when you see it.
One of the most important parts of the bible is when a bunch of disciples walked away after Christ said that little bit about eating of the flesh. 

As regard to the second point of “bad preaching”, I don’t recall Christ saying to be concerned with preaching.  In fact I think He promised the Grace of the Holy Spirit, if one spread the Word.  Of course I’m not sure how much the promise will carry over as priests attempt to make the Word more interesting, real and relevant to those who would roll their eyes and walk away to a priest forcefully preaching that the Eucharist really is the Body and Blood of Christ. 

But here’s the thing Father.  Christ didn’t say “Hey wait, stop, let me try to rephrase that whole eat of the flesh thing.  Let me try to make it more relevant and pertinent to your felt needs.” 

Nor did Christ say, when He sent out the Apostles to preach the Word, to worry about those who did not have ears to hear.

You see Father.  Ever since Vatican II formalize the facing of the Church toward the feelings of men, and the priests turned their backs on His Altar, His Crucifix.  Ever since the focus of the Homily became relevance rather than preaching the Gospel, the teachings of the Magisterium, and the Dogma’s of the Church.  Well, an awful lot of indifferentism to the Sacraments and to the Word seems to be the fruit.
Why do Catholics leave the Church?  Because they are like the disciples who walked away from Christ. 

What can be done about it?  Exactly what Christ asked his Apostles to do.

What does that mean for priests?  To spend more time in prayer, in serving the Sacraments, and in having Faith in Our Lord and not in themselves.  And maybe, yourself excluded, more time learning the teachings of the Magisterium…

AMDG & prayers,

Centurion

P.S. - thank you for being so kind as to agree to my brother’s request to speak with my sister from St. Patrick’s when you were there recently.  I promise, she will be talking about for a long, long time whenever your name comes up.

I remember reading the stats, don’t know the exact numbers, but a good number left to go to evangelical churches that have good preachers and preach against homosexuality and many other social issues. So when they give the reasoning on the catholics stance on that as why they left is pretty ironic, my guess is we don’t have good preachers giving this message in a way that won’t sound like you’re going to hell if you do it, lastly, since the 60’s catholics have been trying to be both of this world and while not letting go of heaven, while you cannot be of this world, is what the bible teaches. kind of like, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Where is your focus. Many evangelical churches preach that we cannot be of this world and seek to gaint he kingdon in heaven. Granted they have doctrinal and split on many of these same social issues, we can see the ones increasing in numbers are those charismatic evangelical churches that preach against those same issues. We can learn a thing or 2 ourselves, I think god is allowing all these protestant denominations so we can take the good and leave the bad.

“All of the biblical exegesis and oratorical skill in the world will be met with a massive “So what?” if the preacher has not endeavored to correlate the “answers” he provides with the “questions” that beguile the hearts of the people to whom he speaks.  Practically every Gospel involves an encounter between Jesus and a person — Peter, Mary Magdalene, Nicodemus, Zacchaeus, etc. — who is questioning, wondering, suffering or seeking. An interesting homily identifies that longing and demonstrates, concretely, how Jesus fulfills it. When the homily both reminds people how thirsty they are and provides water to quench the thirst, people will listen.”

Most impactful paragraph I have read in a long time. Inspires me to learn how to speak to others about our faith in the same manner.

One thing that can’t be changed: The Church’s opposition to contraception in the aftermath of The Pill. Contraceptors tend to stay away from Masses, especially now when everyone, row by row, goes to communion.
One thing that can be improved: The accent of some priests in homilies. In the last few months, I was visiting in Chicago and attended two different parishes.  In one there was an African priests, in another a Hispanic priest, with accents so thick I could hardly understand anything.  They are much appreciated, but need to work on communication in their second language.

It sounds like people leave the Church because they don’t get the answers they want, when they want them & how they want them.

Western culture has embraced relativism, contraception and a “do what you want, just be nice” attitude which stands in direct opposition to the teaching of Christ and His church. Frankly it’s just easier to live without all the perceived rules and regulation that is “imposed” by the church. You can go be fed at any church that won’t make you feel guilty about anything as long as you’re not openly stabbing someone to death.

It’s pretty easy to see why people leave the church in a post-Christian society such as modern America.

My experience was that my own willful behavior set me apart from a state of grace.  I left the Church because I didn’t know what I had.  Years ago when I left there was little to no catechesis either in accessible written or verbal form.  Today, there is plenty of catechesis in accessible written form but it is not generally taught in many parishes.  Many folks still do not know what they have in the Church and how important it is to their life and the lives of their loved ones.  A tragedy.  I gave a Boxed Catholicism TV Series to my parish 3 months ago along with the Study Guide.  I have not heard one word of comment. Sad.

As a convert to Catholicism, I am dismayed at times how little Catholics understand and value their Faith. I cannot say from personal experience whether VII is responsible, but I do know I notice an oddly ‘protestant’ attitude in many people who are ‘bored’ or have trouble connecting with the Church. The difference for me is that protestants ‘go to church’ while we always are the Church and we participate in Mass. In essence, as Catholics we are called to an active Faith that is ‘always on’. Over 2000+ years, this has produced a mountain of material by great saints, mystics and teachers on how to engage in our Faith. In the protestant tradition, if you have bad sermon, that is pretty much it, but in the Catholic Church, we do not have that excuse. We can read the readings before Mass. With the internet, we can look up homilies by Saints such as Augustin, Ambrose, or Aquinas on most of the Gospel readings. Contemporary material is available on YouTube, etc. The Catechism is online now and searching for and cross referencing readings and Church teachings is now more accessible than ever. If the homilies are boring, what are WE doing to participate more fully in the Mass? I have had some excellent discussions with priests after Mass juxtaposing their homilies with material I found online. All of that is just around our participation at Mass, but just as much, we are called to continue the call of the Lord’s people to be a ‘priestly people’. Each of us is called to change the world - not just the parish priest. I like the suggestion above about meeting and introducing people after Mass. We can do more. We must be visibly, militantly Catholic in our daily lives. As we see in the Letters of the Apostles, the Church was known by the behavior of its members. Protestants only have current leaders, but we have so many more tools! The traditions of numerous lay and religious orders - there is bound to be one with a Charism which speaks to you. Then there are the mystics and all the various devotions - The Rosary, Shrines, pilgrimages, meditations, retreats, spiritual exercises, etc - read your Benedict, your Theresa of Avila, St. Francis, Blessed JPII! Ultimately, what I ask those who are leaving or are luke warm on the Church is what have YOU been doing for your Faith? YOUR Church - because we all own a part of it in these bodies we have been graced with… how have you been a good steward of YOUR Church and using its deep spiritual resources?

Let’s go back to first principles.  Whatever became of sin? 
People leave the Church because they do not believe that (1) they need redemption for their sins, or (2) that the Church is a necessary conduit for redemption. Case closed.

Take charge of YOUR involvement in the Church
Online & digital references for Catholics

The daily readings (including those at Mass) - http://www.universalis.com/
The Catholic Books of the Bible -online, seachable, etc - http://www.catholic.org/bible/books_bible.php
The Catechism of the Catholic Church - http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/_INDEX.HTM or ht,tp://old.usccb.org/catechism/text/

The writings of the Fathers of the Church (including homilies) & the Catholic Encyclopedia (searchable, online and available on CD) - http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/

There are NUMEROUS online rosaries - find one that speaks to you

Also, talk to your parish priest (or several priests, deacons, sisters) about how you can get more involved. Ask about Catholic organizations or orders in your area that could use help - there is likely to be one with a Charism that can use your God given talents.

Finally, ask about spiritual direction. Most of the orders and organizations have rich devotional traditions which can help you to grow in your relationship with our Lord and His people.

Fr.,

“All of the biblical exegesis and oratorical skill in the world will be met with a massive ... ... people will listen.”

Really Father, they will listen?  Though I do not disagree with the conclusion you draw given what you posit about “thirst”, the thought reminds me of something I often see in a parish and saw in high school.  It goes by various names, e.g. groupies, sycophancy, cliques, cults of personality. 

In the dynamic I see two things at work, “Ears to hear” and fishbowl.  It is the latter that concerns me most.  Priests, and this is especially after the fruits of Vatican II’s “relevant Homilies” and focus on “Social Justice” took root, and often surrounded by a large group of people who are supportive, but also of the same mind.  In short, a group think mentality and vision arises.  This I think explains a lot of the genuine surprise experienced by priests and people in this group to the recent actions of President Obama.  And the genuine non-surprise of those more conservative Catholics who attend Mass but are out of Charity virtually silent regarding the well intentioned thoughts and behavior of those who are part of these parish groups.

The combination of Vatican II changes to the Mass, the call for more active lay evangelization, and the “administrative fixes” put in place as a result of the sexual abuse scandal, have come together to in such a way that the road chosen is one I think most priests and Bishops are truly, gravely, ignorant of traveling.  The parallels to the path Protestantism took, the errors spread that led many souls to take a new road, are truly significant.
Though it is true that “interesting” homilies that “concretely” speak to those thirsty will bring many to listen, what does this mean when a listener is so deeply ignorant of the teachings of the Faith, and their intellect and soul so poorly formed? 

Though I am not as big a fan of John Paul II as some, his teachings on the Eucharist is a clear signpost of the road that must be taken to address the concerns you bring up.  Specifically, sermons that focus on teaching the Sacraments and the Faith as revealed through the Magisterium.

What I see, and I attend Mass every Sunday, and it is the most difficult hour of my week, is no different than what I saw in junior high and high school.  Groups of people in parishes walking a social justice road, not a Sacramental road.  Priests who are being constantly told, just like high political leaders, that “their message” is true to Christ.  In the Chicago area we have Fr. Pfleger as a prime example of the cult of personality, of the priest’s ego writ large, infamously proclaiming his support during President Obama’s campaign.  When I moved to the Chicago area I also learned Fr. Pfleger is legally the father of children.  Christ was clear about the level of commitment He commanded of those who take up the Cross and follow Him as disciples;

“The Son of man came not to destroy souls, but to save. …  But he said to another: Follow me. And he said: Lord, suffer me first to go, and to bury my father. And Jesus said to him: Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou, and preach the kingdom of God.  And another said: I will follow thee, Lord; but let me first take my leave of them that are at my house.  Jesus said to him: No man putting his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God. ”

Now I do not bring these points up as a means of passing judgment on Fr. Pfleger.  But rather to make this point.  That a priest could take such positions as Fr. Pfleger, and seemingly live a life so contrary to the road to which Christ’s words seem to point, can only happen if those Fr. Pfleger is in obedience to support the road taken.  And that I think is the far greater indication of why things are the way they are in the U.S. Catholic Church.

When priests and Bishop’s turn their backs on Martha’s ploughs of Social Justice and return to the path of the Sacraments and teaching the Faith, they will like “Mary hath chosen the best part”.

AMDG and prayers,
Centurion

@Robert Waligora 12:23 PM (EST):

Your point was an active concern brought up during Vatican II, it was then known as “indifferentisim”.

You are very right to bring it up in regard to this question.

@ Anonymous re “We seem to have confusion in the heirarchy on the teachings of the Church - example is the priest who was reprimanded for refusing Communion to a homosexual woman.  Why was he reprimanded and if the reason is just, can’t the Church communicate that to the confused masses?”

What you are seeing is the effects of changes in Cannon Law made during the 1980s under John Paul II, and what happens when a priesthood, like the Jews of Christ’s time, become overly concerned with rules and perceptions.

Though like you I become deeply,... frustrated, I try to take refuge in the Dogma’s of the Magesterium which protect His Church.  While also trying to remember things have in the past been much, much worse in Rome.

AMDG & peace
Centurion

@Zeobondi re “if people don’t want to follow Jesus Christ, and reject his Teaching, isn’t it in some sense better for them to leave the Church?
The Church is for the faithful, not the unfaithful, so if people leave God bless them. How is this reasoning wrong and why? (an honest question)”

It is not wrong Zeobondi.  It is the egos of those called that drive their need to chase after those who after hearing His Word reject it.  It is no different than the disciples who walked away after hearing Christ say “until you eat of the flesh”.

Still, it is a hard position for a priest, or any Christian to be in; when does one stop trying?  When does one have true Faith and “let go and let God”?

Sadly, there is a growing group of “professional evangelicals” who make a living off of ignoring the Charity of acceptance demanded of Faith by those who put evangelical action above all else.  It is also not a mistake that they feature their face prominently in most things they do.

AMDG & peace
Centurion

@Mary re “My anecdote: ... The reason for choosing the non-Catholic child for the May Day procession honor:  ecumenicalism.”

Yes Mary, many nuns, laity, and priests have turned the “spirit of Vatican II”, ecumenicism being just one spirit, into an idol and placed them before traditions and Tradition.

It is merely their selfish desires for what they feel is meaningful to themselves and those who agree with them.  Their tolerance of others is usually also always purely formal.

Write the Bishop.

AMDG & prayers,
Centurion

@Alexis La Joie,

God Bless you.  You are so very right about the “protestant” attitudes and the depth of Catholic teaching for those who claim to be “bored” by homilies.

I believe the Church needs to return to prominence the Extraordinary Mass and have the priest hold week day evening meetings, just like the Protestant ministers do, where those thirsting for more can come and discuss with the priest the very things you point to as available to all.

I also believe a great change is coming, driven by priests who use the internet and other social media tools to feed His sheep.  What will be difficult is countering all the errors spread, using the same methods, by well intentioned but lost laity.

AMDG & prayers,
Centurion

In response to NickS, retired engineer.  Of course, I completely disagree with you, as you are male and cannot possibly comprehend the disrespect I feel, as a women, from the Catholic Church.  Women are equally as spiritual and capable of religious leadership as men.  Church rules are devised by humans, who are fallible, even if they are male.  Jesus lived in a different time and if he were with us today, he would not have been able to begin this Church with these sexist rules in today’s enlightened society.  Comments that you made in your e-mail response to me, such as “The Church is infiltrated by its enemies.” sounds paranoid and has no logical or rational connection to my comments. Additionally, your comments regarding the “abuse” women feel from their husbands who had their marriages nullified by the Church, also makes no sense.  How would you know how a “women” feels?  What about the “abuse” that was felt by my Catholic mother and sister who were physically abused by their husbands on a regular basis, yet did not divorce because the Church prohibited it.  As a child of a father who was both abusive and an alcoholic, my siblings & I would have been much better off if my mother was allowed to divorce my father.  Please do not comment on things you cannot possibly have first hand knowledge of, I find it offensive and unChristian like.

“Additionally, your comments regarding the “abuse” women feel from their husbands who had their marriages nullified by the Church, also makes no sense.  How would you know how a “women” feels?  What about the “abuse” that was felt by my Catholic mother and sister who were physically abused by their husbands on a regular basis, yet did not divorce because the Church prohibited it.  As a child of a father who was both abusive and an alcoholic, my siblings & I would have been much better off if my mother was allowed to divorce my father.  Please do not comment on things you cannot possibly have first hand knowledge of, I find it offensive and unChristian like.”
@CM—puzzled by your comments to NickS—the above is MY comment—I am a female director of RCIA at our parish and was quoting from experience of some RCIA folks who are from divorced families—in fact, in our parish nearly 90% of all who come to the sacraments via RCIA were distanced from the Church due to a marital situation in their family or abusive spousal behavior because ‘divorce not allowed’. In other words, they had faithful-to-the-Church’s-teaching grandparents, but their parents walked away from the Catholic Church as teens or adults.  These parents who walked away are now watching their children embrace the Church. 

Actually, there does seem to be an easy solution -Catechesis.

Many of my friends have fallen away from the Catholic Church. The common theme is that they do not understand the role of the Church in their lives. They do not realize that the purpose of the Church is precisely for the salvation of their souls.

Additionally, it seems a lot of Catholics do not know what it teaches and if they do, they look at it as restrictive. They fail to see that these teaching and the Sacraments are our only ordinary means of salvation. This is the only reason one is Catholic.

Lastly, for the last 40 years, there has been reluctance on the part of the clergy to clearly express its teachings - the very teachings that the laity need. If Catholics were only taught catholic principles, they would realize that the reasons for leaving, listed in the article, are superfluous.

Some families also leave the church because there is emotional abuse in the Catholic schools.  Teachers and school principals still tend to be the way they were 100 years ago.  No parent is allowed to question a teacher, and the principal’s word is the final one.  Since principals often take a teacher’s word as truth without investigation, the teachers have a “license” to abuse.  When abuse (like ensuring a certain child’s failure) takes place, there is nothing that can be done other than leaving the school.  The Catholic schools that our family has attended tend to bully out the lower achieving students and only keep the advanced ones.  So, the school’s averages look much better.  I have met many families who have suffered because their children were singled out and abused. When they left the church and school, nobody called, and nobody cared.  Many of these children who were abused in Catholic schools moved on to be at the top of their classes in public schools.  The children grow up angry and bitter and do not want to be Catholic as adults.

IMHOpinion,

That is sad to hear. I grew up in a traditional catholic school and I saw the same thing. I currently have kids in Catholic School and have not seen the issue. It is something that does need to be addressed but is not a reason to leave the church.

“I read with dismay the article regarding the Vatican’s reprimand of the LCRW for expressing their views.  This is the primary reason why modern women have left the Catholic Church.  The Vatican is out of touch with today’s women.”

Nope, this modern woman has not left the Catholic Church and thank God the Vatican has finally challenged the LCRW for not upholding the totality of Catholic teaching. I came out of a liberal denomination that ordains women, etc. etc. and the watering down of orthodox Christianity was a sad experience.  It’s only getting worse since I left.  When a church body embraces creeping universalism it will soon no longer be recognizable as Christian.

“I see no where in the Bible that Jesus forbade women from beings leaders in the Church.  The Vatican’s response to these nuns is clearly sexist.” 

An argument from silence is no argument.  There were plenty of “priestesses” in the Roman, Greek and pagan cultures that surrounded ancient Israel but Jesus did not embrace their examples.

“The Church has absolutely no right to become involved in my personal choices.  We live in a country that allows for both Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Religion.  These nuns have every right, and should be encouraged, not reprimanded, for expressing their personal views.”

Ah, the “personal freedom” paradigm.  Sacred Scripture tells us that “you are not your own, you were bought with a price.”  Through Holy Baptism we have become the Lord’s cherished sons and daughters and as a pilgrim people we live for Him, not for ourselves. Yes, we are to be good citizens of whatever land we live in and contribute to the common good but we are not “American Catholics”, we are Catholic Christians first. 

It is also true that our huge suburban parishes are a problem in connecting people to parish leadership and each other.  In the small ethnic parish my husband grew up in everyone knew each other, especially through the parish school but I realize that is not an option everywhere these days.  Also, if parishioners are not using parish envelopes it is more difficult to keep track of who is attending.  I agree that a system needs to be developed to address this and intentional outreach made to parishioners who are not attending Mass.

I can certainly understand why people leave the Church. I converted a couple years ago and I’ve been struggling for at least the past year about whether I should stay. I’m moving closer to leaving the RCC, to the point that I’m checking out other church services this weekend.

I’ve become extremely disillusioned by many aspects of the Church, but the most important one is the lack of community. Other than the sign of peace, no one at church ever talks to me, and I do go to other church activities outside of Mass and attend Mass every week. I’ve attended a total of three churches since I converted and have not gotten to know anyone in any place. At one of the churches I attended, at every Mass they encouraged new parishioners to sign the guest book, which I did four times. No one ever contacted me so finally I had to go out of my way to go into the parish office and sign up. Church feels like a private club that most decidedly does not want new members, thankyouverymuch.

My church doesn’t have any activities for working adults. They have youth group meetings and then Bible study, womens groups, prayer ministries, etc that all meet during weekdays when only elderly people can get to them. This seems to be fine for the younger families who’ve all known each other all their lives, but if you haven’t known them you might as well not exist. You have few opportunities to meet them and if you go out of your way to do so, like I have done at lunches after Mass or parish picnics, the reception is unfriendly and ends there. Not one of the people I’ve introduced myself to has ever said another word to me.

Another thing that really bothers me is how somber the Mass is. If we really believe that we’re there to receive the literal body and blood of Jesus Christ, why is everyone acting either bored or somber? It’s not reverence they’re displaying, trust me. No one seems any different when they walk out than when they walked in, it’s like they’re just going through the motions. If you really believe that’s Jesus you’re receiving then please try not to look so bored or sing like a robot.

Even sadder than all this is that I know that when I leave, not one person will notice my absence. I’ve thought about writing a letter to the Bishop, either before or after I leave, and I fully expect that to go unanswered as well. It’s not just about me, either; I know other people who have left the RCC (usually for evangelical denominations) and they feel similarly. My teenage son tells me that he still believes in God but as soon as he’s no longer required to go to Mass every week, he won’t be back because he doesn’t feel God’s presence there. I realize many of you will probably try to spin this that we’re improperly catechized or that we just don’t want to follow the Church’s teachings, etc etc, but I hope someone here will read this and realize that I’m just one small voice of many out here who feel that we’re not abandoning the Church but the Church has abandoned US.

@Holly, God bless you for your spirit and desire to connect to the Church community. I am sorry to hear that your experience with congregations in your area have been less than warm. As a convert myself, I understand the shift that one must make when entering the Catholic church from the American Evangelical protestant background. This being said, God draws us to Himself and his Church for a purpose. Perhaps your desires and talents are intended to infuse a bit of a new heart into your local community. At the same time, I understand that this can be difficult to do in what feels like a vacuum. To this extent, I would be happy to talk to see if we could figure out a way for you to bring the blessings of your God given graces to fruit in the Church. In fact, if any of you would like to contact me to pray, discuss, commiserate and find God’s positive will for us as members of His bride, the Church, please feel free to contact me:  alexis.lajoie on gmail. As the old saying goes, Mother Church is large and has many rooms, there is certain to be one that you will feel at home in.

Holly,
Very good point about the lack of reverence in Mass. Many Catholics have become complacent and should realize that they are participating in the most awesome event on earth - Jesus physically present in our midst.

As to the lack of community, I see this as well. There should be a an outward social unity among the members. There is a great emphasis on this in most Protestant churches. This is desirable but in Catholic churches what matters is unity in the mystical body of Christ. The focus in Mass should be on the sacrifice of the Mass. If the focus is placed here, the social perspective becomes less important.

I think that outside of the Mass, Catholics do need to work on being more charitable and socially involved.

Re-reading some of the above comments, another thought struck me. There used to be a tradition where parishioners invited the priest into their homes for a meal. This allowed them to get to know each other. When we lived in MN our priest suggested this in re an issue we had so that he could get to know our family personally. The fact is that our society (not just the Church) is large and spread out. We don’t live in tight communities any more. Having your local Father or Deacon over for dinner is probably a more effective means of getting to know each other and starting some of these difficult discussions.

Alexis, I agree with you. Inviting the priest over for dinner or a holiday is a great way to get to know them better. So many of the priests don’t eat that well, either, since they’re a single man who is always just cooking for themselves. Are there even families that have dinner at a real table anymore? As a youth minister, I’d love to have families invite me over as well: I’m honest when I say I don’t know either parent for about 70% of my youth because they are all dropped off at the church, and then the parents either go to a coffee shop or sit in their cars by themselves for the hour and a half every week. I’d love to get to know my families more. Great suggestion!

I am one of those people who left, remarried etc. I respect the rules of the church and don’t want them to change them. But then I don’t believe or ever believed the Church to be the only way to be in contact with God. The majority of the priest I knew were very cold people who were hypocritical. The one I liked and thought kind ended up molesting a retarded boy. And then was transferred, like he had been transferred to my church.

When I took my son to be baptized I attended mass. I couldn’t believe the age of the people on a Sunday, the vast majority will be dead soon. I couldn’t understand the priest from the Philippines. This huge church will be empty in ten years. I never see a nun under 70, I feel the church is truly dying off with this last generation.

I don’t think it needs to change per se, but there is a perception at least i the US that is based on fact. From the child molestations, to the crusades. Information is more available and people can see historical evidence of the many wrongs the church has done and allowed.

The problem I see with the church is the image of evil it has recently obtained and in a lot of cases there was true evil in Gods Church.

I know the good out ways the bad, and the church does so much more than any other church in the world. But that is not seen due to the fast age of quick information today. The church needs a makeover-

@Steve, there is a popular statistic that has been floating around recently regarding Catholics.
I prefer another: 100% of Catholics are sinners.
That is a very comforting statistic. Our redemption comes from Christ as members of His church - not from one another.
Speaking of having access to more info about the history of the Church, please check out this book: http://www.amazon.com/Why-Catholics-Right-Michael-Coren/dp/0771023227/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1336075045&sr=1-1

If we taught about apostolic succession, the power of the keys, and that schism is a sin I think that even if some Catholic was insulted by or didn’t like one of the church’s teachings they would know it must be true because they would respect the authority from Jesus that the bishops (when they are all in agreement and have been), and the Pope hold.

I am one of those that left the Catholic Church close to 30 years ago. I went to a Catholic ‘mass’ for the first time in many years. I have been praying, reading the Bible, meditating on the Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit, and studying Catholic beliefs. From all of this, I was expecting to be filled with a sense of being closer to God during Mass. I watched a Latin Mass from about 1950 on YouTube and I literally felt God’s Holy Spirit while watching it. I didn’t understand a thing and I didn’t care because I felt that warmth and beauty that only can come from Holy Spirit. While at the modern mass, it was in English, there was singing, a choir, prayer and participation, but I felt dry, uninspired, no Holy Spirit, nothing.
Could it simply be that after Vatican II, the church has moved away from God’s Holy Spirit. That that same Holy Spirit isn’t blessing the church the way it used to. Maybe the church is concerned with how to meet the needs of the people but not the needs of God. What are we here for? To serve and worship God. The TLM Latin mass was all about serving God. The people didn’t necessarily understand it but they did sense the warmth of Gods holy spirit.

I have posted my feelings to 3 or 4 Catholic websites to try to get some feedback and so far nothing. Recently , a past parish priest was charged with 30 felony counts of deviant sexual intercourse with a minor..among other charges. We all loved this priest, he administered the sacrament of confirmation as well as other sacraments to me as I joined the church as an adult. Ok…I may not be the abused victim that has filed the charges but I feel violated. I always held priests , bishops, etc on a pedestal. The Bing Crosby “Going My Way ” priest is a myth I guess. I feel the sacraments I received were meaningless .I know we all sin but gee wiz ..what would Jesus say?

Hey Cheryl, I’m sorry your priest did what he did. It stinks that some men of such high regard misuse trust their parishioners give them and hurt so many people, not only the direct victims but those like you as well. Stay close to the Lord. The sacraments you received are valid, since God works through the sacrament to bestow the grace on you. I would say that there ARE very, very good priests out there and I’m sorry you had to experience this. Remember that a very small percentage of priests commit such crimes and that most of them are trustworthy and good men of God. Is there anyone you can contact for spiritual direction? If you continue to have these feelings (and I don’t blame you for having them) please get some spiritual help. Remember that Satan is always looking for a way to trick you into turning away from God!

I quietly walked away from the Catholic Church a few weeks ago and am not looking back.  Just this week I have found 3 other women who did the same, and for the same reasons.  Much disaffection has been simmering for years:  the church’s stance on contraception, the coverup of child abuse, and the interference of the bishops in the 2004 election (that is when I stopped tithing).  What finally caused our break with the church, though, are three recent occurrences:  the bishops continued criticism of Pres. Obama for persuading the insurance companies to cover contraception for women employed at Catholic entities, even though the employer is not required to provide coverage;  the NC bishops contributing hundreds of thousands of dollars in support of the mean-spirited, hurtful anti-gay constitutional amendment, even though NC already had a law stating marriage was only between a man and woman; the bishops opposition to the health insurance mandate.  Without the mandate, the entire structure would fall and my grandchild, born with kidney disease, would probably be dropped from insurance.  Our daughter was dropped due to a pre-existing condition and we are waiting for 2014.  Bless President Obama and shame on the bishops.

I am investigating alternatives to the Catholic Church, so permit to explain why. I was raised as a cradle Catholic, and I raised my two children in the Catholic Church, but I’ve just about come to the end of road. First, in my Archdiocese (Minneapolis-St. Paul), the Archbishop has spent over $1 M so far in a campaign for an amendment to the State’s constitution that would prohibit gay marriage. I’m not going to rehash the arguments for civil gay marriage other than to say that I view it as a civil right and this expenditure as a terrible waste of money. Second, almost every time I hear the Church speak in some official capacity on any political matter, it is from a politically conservative point of view. I am not a political conservative, and this is an important point. I grew up in an era when the Church took the side of the poor, the underprivileged, the disenfranchised. Now, they are blasting so-called “Obamacare”, which is the best chance we’ve ever had for health care coverage for many who cannot afford to buy insurance. I am incredulous of this new political right turn of the Church. I don’t understand it and I really feel like it’s the Church that has changed, not me. I barely recognize the Church that I’ve been a member of all my life. Third, the sex abuse scandal is horrible. For the Pope to state that it’s a “mystery” completely ignores any real analysis of the root of the problem. So, I am investigating mainline Protestant Churches, most likely the Episcopal Church. I don’t think I’d fit in well with many Evangelical Churches, which are usually even more right wing than the RCC has become.

@Tony, I can understand your sense of dislocation when the Church appears to be ‘changing’. I say appears because you have to be really careful about where you are getting the message from. For one, every priest, bishop or Catholic media group I have heard talk about Obamacare has pointed out that universal health care is a good thing and something the Church has been pushing for far longer than either party. What they object to is a portion of the bill which was tacked on and as written, would force Catholic organizations (Churches, hospitals, schools, etc) to act in conflict with their Faith. The Church also consistently counters many ‘conservative’ issues such as immigration. It even opposes the death penalty in countries which are as advanced as the US where it can be argued that it is not necessary. The Church opposes the Randian economics of the current fiscal conservatives. The Church is neither Democratic nor Republican - it never has been fully in either camp. This can really make us quite uncomfortable when our system is so polarized. However, I would suggest that if one votes less by Blue or Red, and more on Christian morality - they will find themselves much more aligned with the Church. Of course it will make the choice much harder and you actually have to start studying each candidate and voting for the person rather than the party.  Of course, if you are just looking for an excuse to leave a ‘club’ that you don’t feel comfortable in for another ‘club’ in which you feel more comfortable, then politics is just as likely an excuse as not liking the music or the color of the vestments. From your post it seems that you have some disagreement with the concept of sacraments (particularly marriage). If I am mistaken and you realize however, that what you are leaving is not just a ‘club’ but the bride of Christ, and that you will be leaving Him (in all the sacraments, especially the Eucharist), then perhaps we will remember that Christ did promise that we would always have difficulties when we conflict with society, but that if we go with him, his yolk is soft and the burden is light… for he will help us.

Christian in 2012!

In responding to the last poster, it got me thinking. We don’t go to/belong to the Church because of the other people in it. We are all flawed and that would be a quick path to disappointment I think. Rather, we belong to the Church to be with Christ. To be near Him. To be healed by Him. To be saved by Him.

If you are leaving the Catholic Church, you are not leaving unbearable people (because people can be unbearable under in any organization).

You are leaving Christ, your Lord.

Now, if you stay with Him, then you must heed His commandment - to Love thy neighbor - which means that from the grace of Charity, you should strive to help other humans. To both see Christ in others and to bring the face of Christ to them; all people - poor AND rich, young AND old, weak AND strong. If we bring Christ, and not just ourselves, if we seek Christ and not just others, then we will all be less likely to be ‘unbearable people’.

I still attend mass but I am disgusted by the church as an institution.  I and many others were emotionally and physically abused by Irish Nuns from the Sisters of “Mercy” of Kells, Ireland who taught at St. Clare School in Essex, MD.  The worst of the lot was Sr. Paul who they later promoted to principal and even invited back to praise when they finally closed the school several years ago. She would regularly issue strikes to the hands with knurled musical sticks as well as stomps on second and third grader’s feet. All for high crimes and misdemeanors such as having one’s name written on the board by the kid who’s parents contributed the most money, failure to help win a soccer match, and not “properly” kneeling in mass. As you know, the backs of the hands have little flesh for padding and do not bruise. While I am never able to completely bury my hatred for her and her sadistic companions, I have for years pushed it to the side and tried to focus on current life. Unfortunately, an article in the Catholic Review of Baltimore in which the editor, George Matysek, tried to re-write history and actually shower praise for this evil woman was recently brought to my attention. Here’s a link to the article, which even made light of the abuse.

http://catholicreview.org/article/commentary/amen/irish-sisters-left-their-mark-in-essex-and-beyond

When I wrote to him, Mr. Matysek denied kowledge of the abuse and said (and I quote) “If I FEEL I was abused, I should call the church’s abuse coordinator.  I don’t “feel” I was abused, I KNOW I was abused.  So, not only does the church to continue to ignore its painfulk past, it still aggressively tried to rewrite history and even shower praise upon the serial child abusers it still houses sand protects.  You wonder why people are leaivng?  To fix a probmel, you must first acknowledge you have one.

Vat II destroyed the church.  Next the abuse by nuns and tortured we experienced destroyed the rest.  Good luck to a dying church.

Wow. I was also abused by the nuns at St. Clare’s in Essex, MD. Every time I have tried to attend Mass since then, I think of those horrible women beating little children in the name of God and want to run out. I read the Catholic Review article you linked George. I agree with you.  Certainly not the way I remember it. You can’t change history but the church must stop ignoring and/or trying to rewrite it. And I bet those collections for the retired religous go to still help feed and house those monsters like Sr. Paul.

Honestly, my decision to leave comes today.  After years of attending without participating in communion (divorced), I have decided that I need to find a church that I can fully participate in.

I am 57 and went through 12 years of catholic school and have spent my life as a catholic.  The last 20 years have made me feel as an outsider. 

Susan,

divorced Catholics can take part in communion, I understand, as long as they’re not remarried without annulment. Have you spoken to a priest about this?

Regards,
Tim

They leave the Catholic Church because another is easier, more fun or they just stop believing.
It’s logical that if they are NOT taught that the Catholic Church was founded by Christ and that Sacred Tradition is infallibly true to look at the big number of others who don’t believe abortion is a sin and feel their witness is enough to reject it.
It’s logical that if they are not taught that Jesus Christ is physically present in the Eucharist that mass is just a big prayer group. If other prayer groups are more entertaining why stick with the Catholic mass?