After 10 years of the strapless dress dominating the wedding scene, it may be that fashion is finally catching up to what many Catholic brides are looking for in a wedding dress — individuality, style and elegant modesty. Kate Middleton’s long-sleeved wedding gown was the catalyst that showed the world how a bride can be both beautiful and modest.
“It was the perfect storm. Brides were looking for something different, and designers were ready for a change,” says Josie Daga, founder of the resale-wedding-dress site PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com. “This beautiful, iconic princess wears a dress with sleeves, and now you see so many more brides in non-strapless gowns.”
Though gowns with sleeves are the hottest trend, Daga doesn’t think American women will embrace long sleeves like British designers and brides have; she predicts Americans will be more likely to wear pretty straps, cap or short sleeves. Strapless dresses paired with a stunning bolero or shrug is also a trend, she says.
Timeless and Personal
Kate Fischer, who was married at St. John the Baptist Catholic Church in Front Royal, Va., this past November, wore a long-sleeved, lace bolero over her strapless gown. She wanted to appear before the altar with both modesty and elegance. “It was important for me to cover my arms in front of the Blessed Sacrament as a sign of respect for the Lord,” she says. She also wanted her dress to have that timeless look of Kate Middleton’s dress.
Fischer preferred the look of the dress when she donned the bolero: “My mom pointed out that with the bolero the attention was brought to my face, rather than to the dress.” Her look was also made special because her mom had sewed a small piece of lace from her wedding dress to the inside of the back of the bolero, so that Kate’s back would be completely covered.
According to dress expert Daga, a big trend in weddings currently is personalization. “Everything about the wedding is personalized: Brides want their weddings to be unique. The dress gives the bride a chance to showcase herself and her own personality.”
Laura Hepler, who recently said her wedding vows at St. Patrick Catholic Church in Fredericksburg, Va., personalized her wedding by wearing her mom’s 1979 wedding dress. “I attach a lot of meaning to wearing the same gown that my mother wore on the day that she received the sacrament of marriage,” she says. “My parents have been married for almost 33 years, and I look up to their example of sacrificial love.” The gown originally had ’70s-looking sleeves, but by altering them to cap sleeves, the dress was made to look timeless and one-of-a-kind.
Modern Modesty
Hepler says that the dress fit her personality, and it was important to her to look beautiful and modest: “I have never felt comfortable in a strapless dress. The last thing I wanted to feel on my wedding day was self-conscious. It is my opinion that dresses with more fabric on top are not only more modest, but, oftentimes, look much classier.”
When choosing a wedding gown, brides should ask themselves, “Will this dress stand the test of time?” A bride wants to be able to always treasure her wedding photos.
Craig Spiering, a professional wedding photographer from Front Royal, Va., says, “I don’t want my clients to cringe when they look at their wedding album in 10 or 20 years due to a faddish photographic style. I try to focus on a classic, tasteful, quality exposition, and I think the same should go for the bride-to-be when choosing a dress and hairstyle.”
Spiering believes that modesty is timeless: “Though a young lady may feel quite attractive or fashionable in a strapless dress now, she might not be comfortable showing those same pictures to her children in 15 years.”
Bride: Symbol of the Church
Brides should not only take into account fashion trends, but also that they’ll be standing at the altar.
Father Francisco Flores, pastor of Our Lady of the Valley Catholic Church in Caldwell, Idaho, says so much emphasis is placed on the bride at weddings because she symbolizes the Church, who is the Bride of Christ.
“In the Book of Revelation, St. John speaks of the bride who has prepared herself for the marriage of the Lamb, which has already begun. In the image from Revelation, the bride is adorned in clean white linen, depicting the purity and newness given to her by her groom, who is Our Lord, and the bride is the Church.
“With this in mind, how can a bride desire to be anything but beautiful, pure and modest?”
Lori Hadacek Chaplin writes from Idaho.
See her Pinterest (Pinterest.com/lorichaplin/)
page for demure wedding,bridesmaid and mother-of-the-bride dress ideas.
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I love Father Flores’s comments, what a beautiful image to carry into a wedding!
I for one am so sick of seeing strapless dresses. They have become so boring since almost EVERY SINGLE bride has been wearing them for the past decade. It’s like some women don’t even know that other styles exist.
Great article. I hope the trend continues. I am so tired of seeing strapless wedding gowns. They all look the same.
I’m so glad for this trend…every dress in the last few years looks exactly the same…don’t much see the point of spending all the money on them they should just pass them around. And truthfully, I have seen only a couple of brides wearing the strapless dress who actually are flattered by the style. Most would have looked so much prettier in something else….of course in ‘81 when I got married the dress looked like something from Little House on the Prairie…chin to finger tips covered in lace.
Lots of skin and cleavage hanging out in church really bothers me too…it’s like having a bathing suit on in a bank…wow, it just feels uncomfortable…but they do it anyway…(most of the bridesmaids could use some coverage too)
Thank you soo much for writing this article. Its not east to find many outfits that you can honestly feel beautiful in and ones that glorify the Lord. I am not yet engaged, but I know that when I do…I want to glorify the Lord in my wedding dress choice! Esp. when you are standing in front of all of those people who are witnessing a marrital sacrament take place. Thanks for the article!
What a relief! And I am sure the priests officiating the ceremony appreciate the modesty too!
I suggest looking at some of the Mormon designers for modest dresses. I found my wedding dress through one and had lots of options for very beautiful and traditional gowns: http://www.adressyoccasion.com/Bridal
I noticed in a dress store that there were NO modest wedding gowns in that particular store. They were all sleeveless and low cut. It has to be hard for any bride trying to be modest. It’s so silly because that is a time you will be around your parents, relatives and in-laws, I can’t think of a time when modesty would be more important. I wore a rather immodest dress in my day but I wasn’t concerned with such things at the time. I was 22 and I unfortunately eloped, which I still regret even though our marriage is okay. I’d like to have a REAL wedding like a vow renewal someday but my husband doesn’t like the idea of the time and expense now that we have children to take care of. So if you are thinking of eloping yeah, don’t do it. Every time I see a wedding dress my heart aches. You only get to do it once.
I love this! I HATE strapless anything. I’m a very paranoid person when it comes to my clothes and always paranoid that strapless things will fall off. Which I know is RIDICULOUS. I’m glad to be seeing this trend disapear and more modest dresses becoming available for catholic/church/modest brides :)
Amen sister. It is about time that women look to someone like saint Gianna Beretta Molla for inspiration and stop defiling themselves by exposing too much and causing sins of lust. Keeping in mind the command of God transcribed to Moses; Exodus 20:17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.” If God said it, then it is of utmost importance.
I am so glad that the young women are acknowledging that modest (not frumpy, modest!) dresses are classier! Yes! And it is also good to see them recognizing that dress makers have pushed the sleeveless style for years, making it more difficult for a bride to be unique. Good for these women!
I also love the comment about the bolero making the bride’s face the center of attention. Can’t tell you how many times my daughters have heard that one, and it is so true. Thanks for the encouraging article!
I wore my mothers wedding dress from 1967 which also had long lace sleeves and lace front with bodice underneath. I am thrilled that the strapless dress is giving way for a more modest, classic looking wedding gown. I hope one of my daughters wants to wear our dress too.
A think it is important for all Christian Brides to dress modestly when they get married. I myself am not married but if I were a bride I would dress in a modest but elegant fashion like my late Mother and grandmother did. I do think there is a slow return to modest dress since about 2002.
Fredericksburg VA is a lovely little town, its not a surprise to me that this trend would be noticed here : ) Congratulations to the new Mrs Helpler .
I remember vividly being in another city hearing a coworker come into work aflittter with excitement over her new engagement…she was armed with magazines and ideas and after mentioning her intention to marry in a Catholic Chuch, a coworker gave caution that the dresses she was looking at were not Mass appropriate ...there came from her quite a venom-filled rant about doing whatever she pleased. I went on my way thinking “things like this neve ends well” .
The author is right, there is more going on than just what the bride looks nice in, there is respect for the sanctity of the place and moment. The sleeved bolero jacket seems a nice option to cover a dress that might be fine for a party later…modesty and fashion dont have to clash with one another
I hate to say it, but Fr. Flores is mistaken. The white linen in the book of Revelation doesn’t represent purity. It represents the righteousness of the saints (Rev 19:8). Just setting the record straight.
A year ago, when Kate Middleton wore her lovely gown, I heard it would influence bridal fashion. I am so thrilled to hear sleeves are back on gowns, and if we have to order my daughters’ wedding gowns from the UK so be it!
Or, we could use it as an excuse to go gown shopping in London. . .
Today’s our 24 wedding anniversary!!! I wore my mother’s wedding dress from 1950. Wouldn’t have had it any other way!!!
Thanks for the article - I know of lot of women are deeply concerned about the issue of modesty, including my 3 wife and 3 sisters! I know how hard it is for you all to find anything these days that fits the bill.
With that said, the article starts off on the wrong foot by suggesting that Kate Middleton’s dress is modest, and started a trend toward modesty. It really isn’t all that modest, unless compared falsely to the grossly immodest majority of dresses out there(Here’s a link to her dress: http://www.independent.ie/multimedia/archive/00888/lace_pa_888303t.jpg). Having transparent sleeves is not the same thing as having sleeves at all, and having a deep cut neckline isn’t either.
Also, having a picture up in the top of the article that shows a side view of a woman in a wedding dress does little to show off whether or not it is modest or not, since the main problematic areas that determine this are in the front.
Here’s a couple links to some great sermons on modesty by very faithful priests: http://www.audiosancto.org/categories/purity.php
I agree, it’s a relief to see wedding dresses becoming classier. I always felt the strapless gowns looked like prom dresses. A wedding dress should be about elegance and reflect the importance and seriousness of the occasion. The strapless dress just doesn’t say, “Take me seriously.” It says, “Take me to the beach.”
This is the first time I can remember seeing “modest” and “Catholic” in the same sentence with “wedding gown.” Frankly, I think it is nuts. I don’t care for strapless gowns because only an A-cup can wear them in a flattering manner. Everyone else looks like she is about to lose her dress. But the idea that a gown should be “modest”? I mean, REALLY? This is not the 1870’s. This article could have been written for the Christian Patriarchy movement for evangelical protestants, and believe me, we want nothing to do with people who think like that. Are we so Victorian in our thinking that we think a woman might be embarrassed to show her children pictures of her SHOULDERS in 5 years? I mean, I know the Church would love to drag us all kicking and screaming back to some bygone (and nonexistent) era of goodness and light, but buying into the idea that bare shoulders is somehow an affront to God… This is the 21st century, folks, not the 14th. God MADE those shoulders and there is nothing “immodest” about showing them. Sheesh.
It is not frumpy to dress modestly in church or wear sleeves. It is about time bridal dresses stopped looking like Las Vegas-style casino worker-sex trade-gowns. Ten years is too long for the same trend. I’ve noticed that bridal stores still refuse to stock anything with sleeves except for one choice. My daughter noticed this and threatened to buy vintage resale if they don’t stop forcing immodesty down our throats.
I would encourage brides to not steer clear of all strapless gowns. I bought a strapless gown for my wedding a few years ago and ordered extra fabric from the macnufacturer, which was very easy to do. I really loved the line/train of the dress and knew I wouldn’t be able to find it with sleeves. So, I had a seamstress make sleeves on the gown using the fabric and I really loved it (I thought it made it more custom!). In fact, my sleeves were detachable so I wore them for mass/pictures and then removed the sleeves for the reception. I do agree that we should all be covered in Church, but you can still look very classy and modest at the reception even if it is strapless—depends on the body type and the dress.
Yea!!! I prayed for a long-sleeved dress, and God provided an AMAZING, regal dress from Ebay!! My size, never worn, worth $1200 but bought for $55!!! My fave wedding story!!!I wish I could post a pic!
Catholic clothing designers need to be all over this!
I agree that we need more modest bridal gowns and bridesmaid gowns. My friend asked me to be in her wedding party and I said only if the gown is modest. They ended up going with a strapless butt it included a shawl of the same material. I had them make straps for mine and attachments so the shawl could be attached and not fall of so I was always covered. I absolutely hate the limited choices there are. People think these prostitute style gowns are so fashionable and they are just demeaning to women.
It is not advisable to use the temples of the Holy Spiriet to be used as walls for advertisement . The flesh exposed in immodest dress is an advertisement and we should abstain from that. Dear siters, why should we flaunt our flesh and create scandal for others specially the males
I wished I had saved the quote but I remember reading the much lauded Vera Wang (designer to many) lamenting the sleeveless trend herself. She was saying that as a designer being asked, time and time and time again, to design something strapless was very constricting. She said that it was liked being asked to only design part of a dress instead of being allowed to design it all!
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If enough women speak up and put their money out for only modest dresses the designers will get the hint.
This gown, like the one Princess Catherine wore on her wedding day a year ago yesderday, is beautiful and elegant yet stunningly simple. It’s very nice to see women looking like ladies instead of looking like they were sandblasted into those too-tight gowns then pouring out of the upper section and looking like oversized muffin tops
This gown, like the one Princess Catherine wore on her wedding day a year ago yesderday, is beautiful and elegant yet stunningly simple. It’s very nice to see women looking like ladies instead of looking like they were sandblasted into those too-tight gowns and pouring out of the upper section, making them look like oversized muffin tops.
I have been so infuriated at the bride’s dresses, bride’s maid dresses,and the immodesty that has been going on for years. I was a wedding photographer, and I did videos of weddings. It seems that the Catholic Church is in every other part of our life, I do not understand why they cannot say “Dress Modesty.” “Cover your shoulders. I do not want to see your breasts and I don’t want to see your crack in the back.” So maybe the priest would not say this, but a woman who helps with the wedding should be able to say it.
Amen Sistahs! I even complained to my newspaper years ago that these brides are immodest and look like debutante wanna be’s. And tell me what is so attractive about hiking up one’s wedding dress at the reception all night. (the salesladies should warn these gullible brides to be. They don’t care how the bride will fare in a strapless dress—they just want to make a sale.). So I salute Karen Middleton and even own a beautiful wedding dress with sleeves even prettier than the princess. I have turned down two engagements but hold onto that dress that someone in my family would happily and modestly be married in it. It is after all Holy Matrimony and a bride should look pure.
I was so impressed when Kate Middleton got married in that beautiful and modest dress she wore! What class, what elegence! She wanted to imitate Grace Kelly who also was a great role model for modesty.That was the first thing I took notice and I’m glad that she has become a great role model for future brides.
It’s been shocking the past several year’s that I’ve attended wedding in Catholic or christian churches where the bride was either strapless or had a very revealing low cut dress!
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