Gospel singer-turned-pop star Katy Perry recently raised the ire of some parents when she performed a segment for preschoolers on Sesame Street in a dress that appeared to have a plunging neckline (it was actually a flesh-colored mesh that went to her neck).
Singer Lady Gaga, in one of her many outrageous publicity stunts, appeared on the September 2010 cover of Vogue Hommes Japan wearing only pieces of raw meat strung together to create a skimpy bikini (she also turned heads when she wore a somewhat more modest meat dress to MTV’s Video Music Awards in September).
The entertainment industry has long presented attractive young female performers in various states of undress to millions worldwide, often to young people on whom it makes a significant impact.
It’s scandalous, and a waste of time and talent, says model and Catholic speaker Leah Darrow: “There is no benefit in watching circus freaks perform. They’re using their God-given talents in unproductive ways.”
Says Darrow, “When I ask teens, ‘Are their outfits appropriate?’ They say No. But I tell them when they watch their videos over and over, they’ll begin to think the way they dress and act is no big deal. In one of Lady Gaga’s videos [Alejandro] she dresses as a nun and eats a rosary. That’s not entertainment; it’s just a bunch of sleazy images.”
Darrow herself was once a part of the upscale fashion world in New York City and was a contestant on the reality TV show America’s Next Top Model, but had a change of heart and now works speaks full time about chastity, modesty and women in the Church.
“My focus is on helping women be the best they can be,” she said.
Farm Girl
Darrow, 31, grew up on a farm in Oklahoma, the oldest of six children. Her father worked in the technology field during the day and on the farm in the evenings. The Catholic faith was important to the family, including Sunday Mass and daily family Rosaries. When her grandfather was murdered during a robbery, her parents took the family to church to break the news and pray.
“They didn’t know how else to do it,” Darrow said. “For me, it reinforced the message: When things go bad, come to the Lord. He understands.”
The family moved to St. Louis, and Darrow began modeling in college. She auditioned and was accepted for America’s Next Top Model and became one of 14 girls who made it on the show.
“It was stressful and uncomfortable,” she recalled. “You didn’t know anyone on the show, and there was a lot of pressure to be perfect. The girls could be very catty.”
Camera crews followed the girls around the clock; Darrow remembers when they filmed her sleeping (actually praying the Rosary under her blanket, but the rosary beads never made it on the air). There was much tension as the girls waited for their turn to be called for their modeling segments. Darrow was both hurt and relieved when she became the second girl to be eliminated.
She left home and went to New York City to pursue a modeling career. Although she went to Mass and carried her rosary with her wherever she went, she drifted away from the practice of the faith. Her parents were unhappy with many of her lifestyle choices.
Darrow said of the modeling world, “Although not all modeling is bad, much of it is dehumanizing. The dignity of the person is of little importance. You’re just a body. And it’s also very important what parties you go to and who you are with. A lot of people are sad in the industry, although they cover it up. You’re just supposed to do your job, be a professional.”
Time to Go Home
Despite the money and notoriety, Darrow was unhappy and tired. It was on one particular modeling shoot for an international magazine that she decided it was time to go home.
She met with the photographer and was given a particularly skimpy outfit to wear. She was embarrassed to put it on, but went ahead, telling herself it was just a job and she had to do it.
As the shoot was nearly complete, she had a mystical experience of sorts, which she called a moment of grace. She pictured herself before God after her death and had nothing to show for her life.
“I knew that the way I was living, I wasn’t being authentic to my faith,” she said.
She quit on the spot and went home crying.
“I called my dad and said, ‘If you don’t come and get me, I’m going to lose my soul,’” she recalled. “He said, ‘Sure, baby’ and drove all the way from St. Louis to New York City to get me.”
Since returning to St. Louis, Darrow has become a full-time speaker, delivering as many as eight talks each month. She addresses all age groups, but most presentations are before high-school and college audiences. Modesty has become a favorite topic.
“Modesty is more than just the length of a hemline,” she explained. “It’s about our conversations, how we treat people, and how we love others. Modesty protects our purity and the mystery of a person. In our society, it gets a bad rap. It’s actually quite attractive.”
The Catechism of the Catholic Church (2522-2523) has much to say about modesty, she points out, including, “Modesty is decency. It inspires one’s choice of clothing. It keeps silence or reserve where there is evident risk of unhealthy curiosity. It is discreet.
“There is modesty of feelings as well as of the body. It protests, for example, against the voyeuristic explorations of the human body in certain advertisements or against the solicitations of certain media that go too far in the exhibition of intimate things. Modesty inspires a way of life which makes it possible to resist the allurements of fashion and the pressures of prevailing ideologies.”
‘The Positives of Purity’
For Darrow, modesty includes not gossiping or saying bad things about others. It includes chaste dating relationships with men, which has made dating for her much easier. In fact, for her personally, she has resolved that the only romantic kiss she will share with a man will be with her future husband.
Chris Stefanick, director of Youth, Young Adult and Campus Ministries for the Archdiocese of Denver, is on the chastity speaker roster with Darrow. He has found that discussions of chastity and modesty are a particularly effective way of teaching the Gospel.
“It provides me with an opportunity to discuss the longings we all have and how we often try to fill them in the wrong ways,” he said.
Even when addressing audiences in a secular venue, he has ample statistics to demonstrate that chastity and the modest lifestyle that goes with it leads to better health, happier marriages, greater financial success and more spiritual fulfillment. He said, “Despite the fact that I’m speaking against the culture, the reaction I get to my talks has been amazing. People don’t realize the positives of purity.”
Darrow has become involved in Pure Fashion, a faith-based program affiliated with Regnum Christi designed for girls age 14 to 18. The eight-month program teaches teens about fashion, runway style and personal presentation. Pure Fashion groups are found in cities nationwide, as well as overseas, and put on fashion shows that are both modest and tasteful. Darrow has helped put together the first Pure Fashion team in her adopted hometown of St. Louis.
Her focus now is on being a good Catholic, learning her faith better (she’s currently working on a Master of Arts degree in pastoral theology from Ave Maria University) and reaching out to others through her public speaking. She has found speaking on chastity and modesty both heartwarming and heartrending: “When I speak, I often have girls coming up to me, crying and saying, ‘I just lost my virginity.’ It breaks my heart. That’s why I’ve dedicated my life to being an advocate for women.”
Register correspondent Jim Graves writes from Newport Beach, California.
Jennifer Fulwiler: Why Virginity Matters
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Thank you so much for this article. Leah Darrow’s story shows a hope for a change in our culture by the power of God! I have shared this on Facebook and will blast an email about it as well. We can’t give up hope!
We have to keep praying and sacrificing!
Great news - here’s to feminine-ism!
Seriously? Never in a million years would my able bodied adult child be so selfish as to ask my husband to drive across the country to get her. She had to inconvenience her father like that? Ever heard of a bus, or train? Or was she just to attached to her material things. No doubt she probably lost the modeling job. She showed no respect or love for her father.
This is just one reminder of how pluralistic God is! He works through everyone and through any situation. I can’t wait to do my part for God in the only way I can!
How refreshing! However, last night I watched “Women of Grace” on EWTN and the program was about how sexual perversions, true marital love and sex is taught in our schools and culture. A Doctor was on who gave a report that the majority of teens think that “safe sex” just means avoiding pregnancy. They also believe they remain “virgins” as long as they don’t engage in sexual intercourse, but anything else is ok, e.g., oral sex, anal sex, etc. The result is incidences of cancer of the mouth, throat and esophogas from human HP virus. How sad!
I bet your Dad was glad you called him and would have driven to the ends of the earth to save you. When he was in the gutter of drug addiction and absolute poverty Fr. Corapi called his mother who sent him a bus ticket. Had she been able to drive I bet she would have. I wish all young women would understand this about their fathers, especially good Catholic fathers, they would walk through fire for their children. In your despair please call him, he is a stand-in for your Heavenly Father who always comes when you call.
This National Vocations Awareness Week I have been sharing with my high-school freshmen a couple videos (Fishers of Men, and Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia). I think I will conclude the week sharing this article. One thing I will tell my students is that, if my daughter called me, asking that I come and get her, I pray that I would be able - because it would be part of my vocation as her father. Thank you for the great article, and may God bless Leah!
Um, seriously, Renee? THAT’s what you took away from this inspirational article?
Personally, I found this to be a beautiful story of genuine womanhood and human love. I think we can all learn from this woman and remember to ask ourselves whether what we do everyday is what we want to be accountable for on the day of judgement.
Renee, have you never heard of the story about the prodigal son?? It’s in the Bible (Luke 15:11-32) .. you should read it sometime. And are you actually a “mother”?? I find that hard to believe. As a mother of five, myself, I would most joyfully approve of my husband leaving our home to drive/fly anywhere in the world to pick up any of our daughters who were begging for forgiveness, love and acceptance .. because that is where Ms. Darrow was in her life .. total despair. She didn’t need to say anything but exactly what she said, “If you don’t come and get me, I’m going to lose my soul.”. Thank the Lord that she has such loving parents who never gave up on her and would do anything (including driving to NY form St. Louis—a small price, in my eyes) to save their daughter and her “soul”. God bless you Leah Darrow for your testimony and God bless your loving family!!
Seriously, Renee? What a weird point to focus on. The main idea of the article was completely lost on you! Besides, it seems to me that a parent who is concerned for the well-being of their child and their child’s soul would certainly drive across the country or hop on a plan and fly halfway around the world to get them! Isn’t that what parenthood is about? She didn’t lose the job…she quit. I find it odd that you would bother to leave your comment. You clearly aren’t interested in the meaning of the article. You are only interested in judging someone for things you know nothing about.
@ Renee—how funny that you should be upset by her calling her father! I was most moved by that same line. I reminded me how quickly God our Father reacts when we reach out to him after turning away from him for a time. It also reminded me of when my college-age child called me and said, “Mom I need you. Can you come get me?” Without asking her why she needed me, I said, “I’m on my way.” There is always time for questions later…
Leah Darrow is a women who listened to her heart and then accepted the Lord’s grace to turn around and to accept the pro-life culture. She is a courageous women! May many reading this story be able to accept the truth of the beauty of the pro-life culture!
Leah Darrow is God send for our Pro-Life work
Please keep writing pro-life articles….this one is a WOW!
Thank you Leah for your example, there will always be people who are against what is good and beautiful and that see evil where there is not. Thank you for showing the world that love is much more that a bodily neccesity but a neccesity of the WHOLE PERSON. That when you give yourself to the beloved one you give and receive yourself TOTALLY as a person and not just your body (which is what the animals do). Thank you and keep that example.
This lady was young when this happened. She was an adult but a young adult, in her twenties. She grew up in a good family with a good father. That is an enormous benefit for a child, particularly a girl, to have a strong, faithful, and loving father in the home. She grew up with him making her feel safe and loved, like a good father should.
She was in despair and needed a strong hand to hold. She was feeling rather unlovable for the choices she had made and needed to feel loved. So she called her pop. And he did exactly the right thing and exactly what I would have done with my 19 year old daughter, “Sit tight and seek comfort in the Lord, sweetie. I’m already on my way and I’ll see you before you know it.”
Love, cherish, and pray for your daughters, dads. They are a special gift.
I wish there is many women that open the young grirls eyes with such powerfull testimony.We need to pray the rosary every day, we are not along on this battle the Sacred Hearth of Mary wil triumph.
Yikes Renee…I am embarrassed on your behalf. The ability to cry and pray with your earthly father to your Heavenly Father, together as a family would not happen on a bus.
Great Job Leah!
I wish this young lady would come and speak to the students of McGill-Toolen Catholic H.S. in Mobile, AL. I would also suggest that she needs to speak to parents as well as young girls. After all, the parents hold the purse strings and can (and should) be the one to guide their daughters in their manner of dress and behavior. May God bless this young lady in her “miistry.”
The parents do need to hear this as much—probably more—than the teenagers.
God Bless Leah’s dad. Now that’s a man!!
@ renee: I´m sorry but I find your pettiness truly astonishing. Inconvenience her father? How sad for you, who knows what kind of experiences in your life have led you to have a line of thinking like that. In any case I hope you´re able to ask God to heal you, I promise you He won´t see you as an “inconvenience”. God bless you Leah, thanks for all the great work you´re doing!
I wish more young women would see the evil of the entertainment industry and shun it like the plague. I applaud Leah for running away from evil and nudity, for that is what the fashion industry is all about. I pray that more young people would value their dignity and realize how very special they are to God. I think one of the most potent destroyers of morality, dignity, and simple decency is the music/entertainment industry. Oh that our youth would guard their “heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life,” Prov. 4:23.
I am glad you came back. Please continue to be a good roll model for my children and future children. God bless and I will keep you in my prayers.
Alexander from Missouri
Mercy to Renee’s of the world, these are the daughters we fathers cry for every night. But a fathers mercy and love is greater than any hurt and anger this world can render.
Thank you for sharing this article. The Lord has been merciful to Leah. As many people said previously she is like the prodical son (daughter), who not only sought the help of her heavenly Father, she also sought the help of her earthly father. Bless God, that her father was the virteous man that he is.
Many people have for better lack of term passed judgement on Renee’s comment. While I don’t agree with it, I read it as someone who is very much hurting and in need of healing. She maybe someone who has never truly experienced deep love from her earthly father or understand the grace and mercy poured out from the Heavenly Father’s love. So let’s continue to pray for both of these women. Let us also especially pray that this world that it would see the destructive path we are on and turn back and beg for God’s mercy and love to be poured out on us all.
We just saw her speak at the G.K. Chesterton conference in St. Louis: what a powerful experience! Her new DVD is excellent as well (she has a home page).
Terrific article.
As a dad with a daughter about the same age, I guarantee you that if I would get a phone call asking me to come get her, in a situation like this, I’m gone and out the driveway in five minutes.
thank you for coming to Col. Oh.
your message was difficult but needed.
Today we sit and examine our beliefs and upbringing…..
We live in a country that has made right wrong and wrong right…...
Our young people face a future of trying to figure that out when everything around them sends them warped and mixed messages….
GOD Bless you and your mission…
Most sincerely,
Joanne Snow
I do not believe Leah relying on her father to come get her was an act of selfishness, but rather one of humility and love. Today there is such a big push to be independent that we often forget that it is ok to rely on those around us (and God most importantly) for help in our most desperate times. This was a time of true conversion for her and this act signified that she needed help from her family to continue her journey.
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