Have You Ever Asked Your Priest Over For Dinner?

Eduard von Grützner (1846-1925), “Three Monks”
Eduard von Grützner (1846-1925), “Three Monks” (photo: Public Domain)

I’m not sure about your parish but at mine we’ve got three priests and an equal amount of deacons. It’s one of the larger parishes in the diocese, so perhaps you have a smaller number then these at your parish. Either way, there is so much to do for them, it can be very difficult to get a break. I really feel for them, too, and I really can’t grasp the level of energy it must take to be a parish priest.

When you think about it, they’re almost constantly involved in high-stress, high-emotion events on a near-daily basis. From the sacraments and celebrations involved at the beginning of life, to those that come with the end of one’s life, a week for a parish priest can almost always consist of multiple baptisms, counseling couples entering matrimony, helping those whose marriages are in dire straits, to funerals, wakes, last rites, blessings of the sick, and much, much more. This doesn’t even include their regularly scheduled duties like mass, and administrative burdens. Their vocation is non-stop!

Recognizing this as much as my finite mind can, I decided to try to do him a favor. I can’t perform any of the priestly duties he’s responsible for, and as busy as I might be, we do have three things in common which we do every day: breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Have you ever asked your priest over for dinner? The first time I asked, I half expected kind rejection for conflict of schedule, but my priest immediately brightened up beyond his usual joy and said, “why, that would be very nice!” Of course, this was my pastor and his gatekeeper was his secretary. I lined up the evening, marked my calendar and waited.

A day before the scheduled dinner I got a call to reschedule – funeral. Rescheduled.

A couple weeks later, the week of the dinner I got a call to reschedule – wake and Mass. Rescheduled.

A couple more weeks later, there was no call. We made the meal, set the table, poured the drinks, waited.

We had done this before, a could years earlier and the night was fantastic. To not waste the occasion, we invited some of our friends and fellow parishioners over, those who our priests knew in common. While we were busy preparing items in the kitchen, it was nice to have others there to fill the gaps in conversation. Not just this, but how could we keep the generous priest’s time to ourselves? It was the right decision and we all gained from it.

The topic came up at some point that night a couple years ago about having priests over for dinner.

“Father, is this somewhat of a rare occasion? Do other parishioners have you for dinner as well?” I asked.

“Yes, I am the pastor!” Everyone giggled. “I get many invites, but you know who doesn’t? The other parish priests and deacons. People forget that even though they play a less public role in the administration of the parish, these are the priests making sure nothing goes undone, often doing the bulk of the work.”

Admittedly, I was a little embarrassed. He went on, “So what do I do? Sometimes I ask when I’m invited if they can join the dinner part as well.” Nicely played.

He made a great point. Since then, my wife and I have switched things up a little bit. Sometimes dinner doesn’t work. As you see, my dinner with my priest was rescheduled a number of times. To avoid this and make time around their often busy evenings, we started getting together for breakfasts and lunches. Not just that, but also sharing a meal with the deacon’s wife, too.

At these events we’re able to get to know our priest or deacon on a deeper, personal level, discovering things about their life and vocation that we had never known before. Sometimes, we’re also able to informally solicit advice about our personal situations, or other. Our boys love it as well. When they show up, if they already know them, it’s a great way to show that vocations are for everyday people. If they happen to not know the priest or deacon, they scream, “Dad! Mom! It’s a Jesus man!” We love that our little boys can laugh and and talk with their spiritual leaders.

Perhaps you’ve got a great relationship with your priest, but you might not know the other priests or deacons. Inviting them to have a home-cooked meal with you, or even taking them to their favorite restaurant can be a nice breath of fresh air for them, and they’ll almost always do what they can to fit it into their hectic schedules.

Oh yeah. Father Stillmunks showed on that third night and it was a great joy to have him in our home.