I want to improve my life. I want to be more open to the will of God, more ready to hear His voice. Like the child Samuel in the temple, I’m not expecting to hear God speaking to me directly—so I try to be alert to other voices which have some authority, and to answer when they call.
Easier said than done. There are many worthy voices out there saying many worthy things, but here’s the catch: not all of them are talking to me. When I hear a good idea, a criticism, a suggestion, a plan, a description of a lifestyle, I often think, “Oooh, that’s absolutely right! I ought to be doing, thinking, or being that way! I’LL START RIGHT NOW!” Every day, I thread my poor conscience onto a hook and toss it out into the stream, where every passing predator can stop and take a nibble of me. By the end of the day, I haven’t caught anything at all, and I’m a chewed-up mess.
Here’s my plan to avoid being nibbled to death: When someone or something seems to be calling my name, demanding some action, I ask myself the following questions:
1. Was it spoken by someone with a very bright, happy, strong face, and did he start by saying, “Do not be afraid?” Do whatever he says right away. (Hasn’t happened yet, but I’m prepared.)
2. Am I tired when I hear it? Don’t listen. It may or may not be a good idea, but there’s no possible way that I can do anything with it now. If it’s important, I’ll remember it later, when I’m more sane.
3. Is it a personal criticism made by a stranger? Don’t listen. I wouldn’t listen to an engineer’s ideas for how to edit a poem, so why would I listen to a stranger’s ideas for how to fix my life? It’s not their area of expertise. Besides, they lose credibility by being, well, the kind of person who criticizes strangers.
(Still, criticism from the blue can hurt. A good way to de-fang unsolicited criticsm is to pray for the offender. This usually makes the sting go away right away.)
4. Did they call me a warthog from hell? This is the exception to the above rule. Sometimes, someone has no right or reason to be critical—and yet they’re sorta kinda right. Wrong messenger, right message, same solution: pray about it. If God really wants me to hear something, He’ll tell me again.
5. Is it someone who knows me and loves me and with whom I communicate well? Listen with all the ears I’ve got, even if it seems like that person is giving me too much credit or letting me off the hook.
6. Is it not necessarily directed at me (as in a blog post or a sermon), but hits me hard, and makes me uncomfortable and convicted and self-critical? These are the trickiest. If we tried to follow every urging we came across, we’d quickly pull ourselves to pieces. There are so very many good, worthy, commendable ideas out there—but not even the most striking message is relevant to everyone.
On the other hand, we can go overboard with this caution. While it is extremely important to learn how to “keep our eyes on our own work,” and not to be constantly distracted and dissatisfied when we see the (carefully-selected) fruits of everybody else’s chosen lifestyle, a healthy sense of humility and contentment with our own lives can easily become mediocrity and laziness, or even a kind of inverted vanity. It’s wrong to boast, but it’s also wrong to do nothing boastworthy!
So if something really tugs at my conscience—if it seems to be speaking directly to me, then I ask these questions: What is likely to actually improve in my life if I try this thing? It it something that actually needs improving? Have I already tried this same thing a thousand times, and always failed? Whom am I really trying to please by improving in this area? And what will I lose if I do allocate time, energy, and enthusiasm toward this new thing?
NB: I’m not talking about clear-cut moral issues here. There’s never a bad time or a bad reason to turn away from sin. I’m talking about laudable “extras” which can make us feel guilty or even sinful for not achieving.
7. It it an interior voice, subtly but habitually calling myself names like “useless,” “lazy,” or “disgusting?” This is most certainly not God speaking. Seems obvious, but if it’s not God speaking, then who else would be whispering those words in my ear? Do not listen! Even if the words are accurate, it’s not the whole truth. Counter these insults with the powerful name of Jesus. I would not stand by and let my child be insulted, and neither will God.
One final rule: no matter what else happens, above all, do not tweet about your plans until victory is secured. Or, at very least, don’t go to Stout Burgers the night before.
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I love the way you go from fishing to angels to Flannery O’Connor to your third grade teacher giving a test.
This is why, this is why, this is why you’re hawt.
This post is pure gold! I tend to ignore #2, and that makes me vulnerable to #7.
Good stuff here. Although I do tend to think that in our culture, we are so prone to living an unsacrificial life that many of us need to evaluate how many of our “nibbles” are about lifestyle and consumption or other non-essentials in the big scheme of God’s kingdom. Too often, it’s easy to be distracted from *anything* the Holy Spirit is trying to tell us because there are too many other voices allowed into our hearts and minds.
Very good Simcha, I know a lot of people who would benefit from this post. And yet why should they listen to you? (heh). I also like your reference to the reading from Mass, which is one of my favorite stories from the old testament. Also luminates our universal Church, no matter how far and scattered we are we hear the same words.
“And yet why should they listen to you?”
Holy cow, I really set myself up for that one, didn’t I?
“The woman looked at Mrs. Turpin as if here was an idiot indeed; but Mrs. Turpin ignored the look, considering where it came from”.
I listen to anyone who quotes or references Flannery O’Connor.
I like to remind my kids, myself and others I have a chance to speak to that there are still snakes in the garden.
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We may need to fine-tune our hearing to be able to sift through their lies and half-truths but they are still there.
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Learn a bit from Eve, don’t engage in conversations with them, get some real support from your spouse/friends/family and, with Mary’s help, start doing some serious snake crushing all on your own!
#7 cuts close to home right now. I like that suggestion that every time that internal dialogue starts to call on the name of Jesus. I shall try that.
Thanks for this! I’m going to bookmark this one - especially so I can remember #1!
Several weeks ago I was going through a period of personal and spiritual darkness and depression and my dear, dear friend and spiritual mentor gently advised me to continually ask myself whether the devil is whispering lies in my ear. Essentially #7. She, and you, are such treasures!
Hey Simcha, the last part of your post was the best. Sometimes the self-talk I hear (especially regarding mistakes made at past jobs in years gone by) has been corrosive. No one deserves to be attacked like that.
Is it something that I’ve heard before in confession? I.e. “If you’re sick, CAN go to the doctor, and choose to ignore sound medical advice and tough it out even though GOD PROVIDED YOU WITH THE MEANS TO GET MEDICAL CARE…..... it’s a sin….”
Also, helpful, “What would sane, sensible friend say if I told her about this?” Half the time, you don’t even need to ask another person to know when an inclination is from God, and when it’s from your own stupid pride…
(which is why I made the Dr. Appt., even though my baser nature said “anti-biotics? Yeah right! I can tough this out…...” )
This isn’t directly related, but your post reminded me of something I often wonder about, which is: when we read about messages different saints (or not-yet-sainted but credible visionaries with imprimaturs on their books) have received from Jesus or Mary, how do we know what part of the message, if any, is for “us”? Especially if the person is in a different state in life, or even the same state but very different circumstances? I am very drawn to many of these books and receive insights, challenges, and consolations from them, and yet, often there is a moment when something makes me stop and wonder: is this specific part of the “message” for me? Or conversely, can I SKIP this challenging part of the message and hope it’s not for me?
Thank you again for being so human. (Sigh) I miss having a really good confessor who knows me well enough to cut through the crap (#7), and who would cut me off at the pass for #6. And like always you made me laugh by even admitting that at times, and at least in theory, might have shades—of being—a “warthog from Hell”—and then put it in a post for the whole world to consider. Shades of #7? Hmmm, purgatory will indeed be alarming for most of us. I’ve been accused by some that I drive myself crazy agonizing about this that and the other, but when all is said and done I’d rather face any warthog-from-Hellish tendencies on this earth. “God, show me Warthog!!!”
In my long years of life I have finally figured out that when I hear a message that causes me to think “Wow I must certainly tell so-and-so about this because this is a problem I have observed that they have and this will help them see the light!” it is invariably something I NEED to hear. The message hits so close to home I don’t want to see it and so I quickly look for someone else to pin it on. The stuff that I immediatly hear and think I need to Drop Everything and Work On is almost always an excuse to procrastinate about things I Should Be Doing. But that’s just me and I am weird. I do not know anyone else who does this.
“Like the child Samuel in the temple, I’m not expecting to hear God speaking to me directly—so I try to be alert to other voices ...”
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Out of curiosity, was that irony intentional?
@Susan M.: Me. I do this. Me, too.
When it is all too agonizing I try to remember that Screwtape instructed his pupil to beware the possibility that the soul might just begin laughing at himself and go off to bed.
@Corita: Most excellent advice. And God has been so good to me. What with giving me all sorts of reasons to have a good laugh at myself before bed.
Dear Simcha,
There are three basic theorems involved in developing an intimate and personal relationship with God. The first thing you need to realize is that there are absolutely no coincidences—none, zero, zilch, nada. The second is that if “it” bring you closer to God (i.e., the one true God), and/or brings others closer to God, it is from God. Third, every person ever created is on a different road to meet God, and every person is at a different place on his or her road toward meeting God. That’s true, of course, because there are no two people exactly alike, even though we are created in the image and likeness of God. When you think about it, that’s awesome! Therefore, I can’t tell you how to develop your intimate and personal relationship with God; I can only tell you how it happened to me. But, one thing I can say, is that the more you place yourself in the presence of God (e.g., daily Mass, Eucharistic Adoration, prayer, praying the rosary, praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, retreats, good Catholic media, etc.), the more he will reveal himself to you.
Now, I’ve been reading your blogs for quite some time, and know how busy you are with your family. So was I. Yet, there is another piece of advice I’d like to offer. When I became an Evangelist, I was told that I would need to pray at least three hours a day. I said to myself (as I’m sure you’re saying to yourself), “I don’t have three minutes a day, let alone three hours a day.” But, just like marriage, developing an intimate and personal relationship with God requires a commitment—a big-time commitment. It’s what I truly wanted, and so I used to get up at 5 o’clock in the morning, before the family woke up, and I would begin by praying the Liturgy of the Hours. It wasn’t long before I was praying three hours a day (including the greatest prayer of all—Holy Mass). I can’t tell you what dropped off the back end of my daily schedule, but obviously, it wasn’t as important to me than my commitment to God.
God bless!
Br. Robert Anthony
There are three basic theorems involved in developing an intimate and personal relationship with God. The first thing you need to realize is that there are absolutely no coincidences—none, zero, zilch, nada. The second is that if “it” bring you closer to God (i.e., the one true God), and/or brings others closer to God, it is from God. Third, every person ever created is on a different road to meet God, and every person is at a different place on his or her road toward meeting God. That’s true, of course, because there are no two people exactly alike, even though we are created in the image and likeness of God. When you think about it, that’s awesome! Therefore, I can’t tell you how to develop your intimate and personal relationship with God; I can only tell you how it happened to me. But, one thing I can say, is that the more you place yourself in the presence of God (e.g., daily Mass, Eucharistic Adoration, prayer, praying the rosary, praying the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, retreats, good Catholic media, etc.), the more he will reveal himself to you.
Now, I’ve been reading your blogs for quite some time, and know how busy you are with your family. So was I. Yet, there is another piece of advice I’d like to offer. When I became an Evangelist, I was told that I would need to pray at least three hours a day. I said to myself (as I’m sure you’re saying to yourself), “I don’t have three minutes a day, let alone three hours a day.” But, just like marriage, developing an intimate and personal relationship with God requires a commitment—a big-time commitment. It’s what I truly wanted, and so I used to get up at 5 o’clock in the morning, before the family woke up, and I would begin by praying the Liturgy of the Hours. It wasn’t long before I was praying three hours a day (including the greatest prayer of all—Holy Mass). I can’t tell you what dropped off the back end of my daily schedule, but obviously, it wasn’t as important to me than my commitment to God.
God bless!
Br. Robert Anthony
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