“This is a guy who had to get up and have his morning coffee with the Incarnation and the Immaculate Conception across the table from him.  Your turn, man.  Your turn.”

I love you, Simcha.

I think I’d love to have dinner with Padre Pio. Couldn’t he read hearts? I’d love for him to tell me what to do, honestly, where I’m going wrong, what—if anything—I’m doing right.

Also, Carmelite nuns, some other nuns and a whole list of saints.

Simcha, you are amazingly funny! My wife and I love your blog!

This whole thing gave me a giggle, but the piece on Putin was by far the best. Loved it. Oh, that and the image of your Tanqueray baby bottle.

Excellent piece as usual.

I must remember NOT to read your blog in public. The people in the car repair place are questioning my sanity as I sit here giggling.

St. Joseph.  A chaste, loving, and faithful spouse.

My Dad - he died when I was 1 and he was known to be a brilliant yet humble man.  I’d love to know what he thinks of me and the life my husband and I have built (and for him to meet his last 3 grandkids)>

EPHRAIM KISHON, the guy is a genius, you have to read his books.

I’d have Simcha over for dinner!

Simcha, I love your blogs. This is the first time I’ve commented on any blog, but this is so me.I collapse afterwards and would need Grey Goose instead of Tanqueray. I’d love to entertain one of our parish’s priest, Fr.Dennis, he’s amazing , approachable and down to earth.

@June1 - Eeeeek!  About the last person I’d want to have dinner with is Padre Pio.  Don’t want him embarassing me in front of my family.  I’d rather see him in a confessional.   
.
I honestly cannot think of a single person with whom I’d truly like to have dinner.  I just don’t like meeting most people all that much - I prefer to stick with my family and the friends I already have.  But who knows?  I’ll be reading everyone else’s answers and maybe I’ll change my mind.

@Maureen: That is so sweet! I’m sure he’s proud of you right this moment.

@Eileen: Oh, we’re having a family dinner? I was thinking one-on-one, for some reason. Hmm… Meh! I’d still have him over. We all desperately need to be put in our places. :D

@Stasha - LOVE Ephraim Kishon.  And you’re right, I bet he would make a really amiable guest.  Thanks for the reminder to look for his books!  I’ve only read a few.

Queen Elizabeth, because she knows how to put everyone at ease & Truman Capote-if he were still living-because he could tell great stories like the one about Thanksgiving.
But I’d invite them for tea, less pressure than making dinner.

I have to agree ... Simcha would be an awesome guest.  One could trust her to bring something nice to eat or drink and say something that would make us all snort our aperitifs up our noses.

Other than that, um .... hm.  I think I would like all the authors of my favorite blogs.  They are fun and real.  I mean, I’d love to talk with Emily Dickinson, but she’d never come.  St. John of the Cross would come, but refuse to eat anything.  And most famous people are tired of talking to adoring fans.  Give me someone not quite THAT famous, please.

I can’t believe I forgot G. K. Chesterton.  They say he was great at parties.  GK and I would stay up all night discussing what’s wrong with the world.  Also Socrates—he’s known to have sparked some interesting conversations around the dinner table.

Being a Russian citizen it’s very interesting to hear how you imagine mister Putin, our president. I mean you, Americans. I’m not offended in any sense, our president really has done a plenty of really strange things, they are peculiar indeed even to us, Russians, and we are by ourselves strange enogh, especialy for rational englishmen. We lack coomon sense in our country, not only mister Putin. So, once again, thak you very much for amusement, it was very exiting to know about how are we (presented by mr.Putin) seen from the outside world.

Sorry for my English, I’m trying to learn it right now.

I think Michael’s English is very good - and definitely way better than my Russian!

Okay, I agree about Padre Pio, why not shake it up a bit?  The first penetrating glance would speak volumes.  Thumbs up? or thumbs down…Kind of exciting don’t you think?  If there were any insults, I’d take them seriously, and repent. I heard once that one of his rather fanatical groupies was begging another friar desperately for a relic of Padre Pio. He came to him and said what could prpbably be translated to: “You’ve got to get this woman off my back! So, with a twinkle in his eye Padre Pio picked up a little rice crispy from his cereal bowl and handed it to him. Love that—my kind of saint.  Same with JP the Great.  I’d like to spend some time on the slopes with him for sure.  I agree, definitely on St.Joseph, for exactly the down to earth reason you stated, which should also be extended to the Virgin Mary herself, because after all, we get to see depictions of her with gold roses on her feet, and floating over cherub heads, and hear in excellent theory how she is kicking some serious Satan a—, but I’d want to hang out in the village doing normal stuff.
On a much more somber note, I simply wouldn’t want to hang with Obama at all.  I’d do it for penitential reasons.  I would however agree to sit in on a session if they gave him or Romney truth serum and I could ask them some questions.  “So tell us about the most raging day in the life of Barry Obama?” “So, (heh) Do you really believe God resides on a planet named (heh heh) KOLOB?”  Hollywood types? Yawn.  World leaders? Okay.  Game changers in history? Sure.  But I’d rather sit down with an apostle, an Aquinas, Augustine, Teresa of Avila, Maximilian Kolbe…Oh yes, and a Simcha Fisher, in her natural habitat, with all of her kids making a saint of her. I’d bring her favorite Gin. :)

Saints Thomas Aquinas and Bonaventure.  They were very different, but such good friends.  I would just sit, listen, and occasionally refill wine glasses…

Suburbancorrespondent, thank you very much for your compliment. Have you studied Russian? You people are very lucky, for your language is an international one, everyone learns in, and it is regarded as a established rule for an educated person in any country to understand English, regardless of his own mother toungue. Our language is learned only by the enthusiast, who are very passionate about Russian culture, and want to study it deaper, that’s my impression. You can’t imagine, how many words are being imported to Russian from English, espessialy those connected with modern techonologies and bussines. Yet even in everyday Russian speach you can hear a plenty of English words, and not only in Russian speach, but I think everyone is somehow familiar with the fact of English language spreading beyond English-speaking countries borders. Maybe you won’t belive it, but we, in Russian already ornament our speach with words: “OK” [We pronounce it akey], “Friend” [We pronounce it frend], “Like”, “People”[We pronounce it Pipl] (All this words prounced among Russian ones) I could go on with this list for about some pages. And we have words made by ourselves out of English ones, for example to play in Russian is “Igrat’”, but nowdays young people often use “Gamat’”, wich evolved from the word “Game”. So, you get the idea I suppose.

Sorry for writing not about the suggested theme. For it I can say, that I’d be happy with having a dinner with Franc Kafka, Chezch writer of Jewish origin.

That St. Joseph comment: Brilliant. Hilarious. Spot on. Personally, I would love to dine with St. Thomas More. I am a lover of all things philosophical, religious, theological, political, etc., and I would love to pick his brain, listen, discuss and learn. And because he was in a profession I want to enter, I want to learn from him how he could keep his cool, especially in the courtroom.

And I’m still thinking of that St. Joseph comment, mental picture and all. I think we all would love nothing more than to sit down with The Holy Family. What a privilege, honor and blessing that would be!

I think it would be fascinating to have dinner with Joanna Bogle and Alice von Hildebrand. Oh and also St. Theresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein).

Sigh.  Why can’t anyone ever ask who I’d like to have dinner with at some family-friendly non-snobby restaurant with decent home-style dishes?  The very thought of hosting a dinner party for anybody other than my extremely forgiving family makes me break out in hives…

On the other hand, the restaurant question is fraught with peril, too.  Would taking St. Peter out for fish be seen as sucking up?  Could I actually afford to feed Chesterton at a restaurant?  Would Jane Austen eat pizza?  Oh, never mind.

Really? Texas Pete’s? Try Mrs. Rnefro’s Ghost Chili sauce or Dave’s insanity sauce. If Putin drank all of those, THEN I’d be impressed. Texas Pete’s is zesty ketchup..

Padre Pio?! Everyone would end up sobbing… I get enough of that at family dinners.

St. Joseph is a fascinating choice.

I think I would choose people who would laugh and drink together (in no particular order): GK Chesterton (liquor and cigars), Alan Rickman (seems like he’d be fascinating and hilarious), Jeff Goldblum (background music), Prince Harry (knows how to get a party started), Simcha (obvs), Alfred Hitchcock (awesome stories)...

Funny St. Joseph crack and good choice too.  This post made me think of that 1980’s film, My Dinner with Andre.  I liked it; one of my sisters who saw it didn’t.  One guy I would like to have dinner with is Alfred Hitchcock because I have seen a bunch of his films and have thought of questions that I would like to ask him.

JRR Tolkien.  And he could talk about whatever he wanted, not just the endless Middle Earth chat everyone assumed he wanted to discuss.

@Geek Lady:  Could the rest of the Inklings (especially C S Lewis) be invited too? :)

I would invite Dame P D James and try to convince her to let me write a mini-series screen play for her ‘Children of Men’ (butchered as a movie with Julianne Moore) and +Graham Greene and convince him to let me write a screen play for his “End of the Affair” (butchered as a recent movie with Julianne Moore….hmmm…I am sensing a pattern here) and +Ray Bradbury, because

Wait, what about Jesus? I would love to have dinner with Jesus. Is that sacrilegious somehow? And I would like to have dinner with Saint Francis; I like to think he would burst out in one of his hymns.

@karyn:  Sorry, He’s already had His last supper… :)

Buster Keaton. Oh, and FOR THE WIN.

Chesterton, for sure, but you’d have to include Belloc in that same party. It sounds like the two of them were irrepressible.

Rosalind Moss.

Cary Grant.

C.S. Lewis.

I would also love to have Simcha to dinner.  Who wants to have someone you have to be serious with?  At a dinner party I want to have fun and be myself and not try to impress or keep up with someone.  We invite priests for dinner quite often but I have to admit, these dinners aren’t exactly fun.  I am always on guard not to say imprudent.

G.K. Chesterton. Thank you, that is all.

The problem is, I can’t think of anyone I’d like to have dinner with who would also want to have dinner with me.

I would totally have Tolkien over too. And Lewis. Separately, and then also at the same time.

Also Bach, and Palestrina. Yes, I’m a music nerd.

And St. Joseph. :)

I think the question is twofold, not just who you would have over for dinner, but what would you eat…

For example, having the Earl of Sandwich over for dinner would be a great opportunity to have BLTs however you would have to be careful not to serve wraps.

Having Winston Churchill over would be an amazing experience, as long as you didn’t serve sauerkraut and brats

I think dinner with Simcha and her whole and entire family would be the dinner party to end all dinner parties.  With an emphasis on “party”.  That way we could share stories about the freak show that is her life with 9 kids and our life with 8 kids.  Imagine the stories, the noise, and the mess…  When can we arrange that?

Mary and St. Joseph!  I’d love to see the interaction! I’d just pour wine and hear stories about Christ as a child.  How cool would that be?  :-)

Jesus Christ. How I would LOVE to meet Him for lunch in a beautiful outdoor-garden restaurant.  :-)  I’d like to ask Him what it was like to be a human child, AND Divine at the same time. Did He play practical jokes on his childhood friends. What was His favorite meal that His Blessed Mother prepared for Him? Did Mary & Joseph fight? What did He like best about His experiences on Earth? How afraid was He about His upcoming crucifixion? Were there times when He really wanted to let it rip, and tell people, “I am God”? I would love to just listen to Him share all about what being human & Divine at the same time was really like!

Okay, my second choice would be a meal with Warren Buffet. LOL!

Just being honest here.  ;:)

@MamaGee-Have your priest over for dinner! If you feel at all comfortable doing it, I would go for it. Not sure what your family situation is, but I know that we love having our priests over so that we can get to know them on a more personal level. I also think its so important to have our kids see priests in a different place other than church-to see them as real people who have to eat just like the rest of us. :)

Man, whenever anyone asks me this question, all I can think of are people I DON’T want to have dinner with, like Roseanne Barr or Quentin Tarantino. The only person I can think of is Christopher Hitchens, but not to discuss religion or anything. I just wanted to tell him that he was the answer to a Trivial Pursuit question that I legitimately knew the answer to without having to guess from tangential clues. I hope it wouldn’t make him feel weird.

Mike Rowe, in a heartbeat.

Ever read “The Habit of Being”? Your blog reminds me of that. My point is I think Flannery O’ Connor would love your story about the high school German teacher, the amusement park, and the guy with the bleeding head.

St. Joseph.  (With the Fisher Family a close second).

I second Sarah Webber. Mike Rowe! That man is fascinating, very very intelligent, and can make my sides split.
And of course, any Inklings.

@Sheila:
You suggested discussing with GK Chesterton what is wrong with the world.  Famously, he sent a note to an editor with the line: “Dear Sir:  I am.”
The point being that if each one of the nominal followers of Jesus would actually convert and live perfectly in accord with His teachings, the world would be so improved that millions would convert.
TeaPot562

Dwija and Tommy Borobia for sure!  Could dinner be more fun?  Simcha would be awesome.  I wouldn’t even be embarrassed snorting out mashed potatoes from my nose laughing at all her funny stuff.  Cari Donaldson would be great!  Humble and funny.  Mark Shea.  Down to earth.  He’s much smarter than me but his sarcasm makes me feel welcomed to hang.  Lastly, Lino Rulli.  Used to love him on Generation Cross.  Loves sarcasm and making fun of himself in a good way.  Can’t see how dinner wouldn’t rock. Best yet?  Get them all over to my house for dinner.  Sorry, Lino, we don’t have enough chairs for you, so you’ll have to stand.

Fr. Neuhaus, Chesterton & Belloc, David Tennant, Mel Brooks, Alfred the Great, Gene wolfe, Neil Gaiman, and Cardinal Dolan.

Of course, you end up with “A Jew, a Time Lord, and Cardinal Dolan walk into a bar together…” and since Gene Wolfe is there, one of them will probably get eaten by a shark.

OK, I know a lot of people are going the religious route here, so at the risk of sounding like an intellectual lightweight my picks are Harpo Marx, Mel Brooks, Tim Conway, and Hugh Laurie. I feel like I’d probably wind up wetting my pants with laughter at least 3 times throughout the meal, but it would be SO worth it.

Oh, and I’d like to add Steve Carell to that list. Thank you and good night.

I think I would like to invite all of you…and GK Chesteron.