Read "The Rise of DIY Abortions" and you'll be horrified and moved -- and left with the strong impression that new restrictions on abortion are causing a dangerous trend: More and more women, this article in The New Republic suggests, are turning to dangerous, unregulated abortion drugs they buy online.
The only problem is, there's no actual evidence for any such trend. The article admits:
Determining how many American women have had home abortions is exceedingly difficult: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention does not track illegal abortions. There is no blood test for drugs like Cytotec, and so such an abortion is indistinguishable from a natural miscarriage, even to a doctor.
In other words, despite the headline, there may not actually be a "rise in DIY abortions" at all. There's no evidence for it, other then that "the proliferation of online dispensers [of illegal abortion drugs] suggests a rising demand."
It seems like common sense, though. Surely, if it's harder for women to get legal abortions, they'll start opting for secret, illegal ones. To illustrate this argument in a compelling way, the article devotes the bulk of its five pages to the horrifying story of a young mother, Jennie Linn McCormack, who was arrested in 2011 in Idaho for having "an abortion in a manner not sanctioned by the state" and then hiding her daughter's decomposing body, first under her bed and then under the cover of a grill on her porch.
The details of her story are heart-rending. She had her first baby at 14, and continued to bear children by different men, some of them abusive, some of them criminals. When she found herself pregnant one final time, she couldn't bear the thought of going through with yet another pregnancy -- but she couldn't afford the thousands of dollars necessary to get a surgical abortion, or to pay for the hotel room while she sweated out the state's mandatory 72-hour waiting period.
And so she took matters into her own hands, ordered some cheap abortion drugs online, and endured a solitary and bloody abortion alone in a bathroom on Christmas Eve. Desperate, unsupported, she couldn't bear to throw out the baby's body, and so she hid it under her bed.
After about a week, the box began to emit an odor. McCormack wrapped it up in more bags and put it out on the back porch, on the shelf of a covered barbecue. It didn’t feel right to her to throw it away. A week or so later, unable to figure out what to do, she finally confided in a friend. He called his sister, and his sister called the police.
On the afternoon of January 9, 2011, two officers arrived at McCormack’s house. She led them to the back porch and told them, according to reports, “My baby is in the box.”
McCormack's nightmarish story, the article implies, is a stark warning of what will happen to more women everywhere, if pro-lifers continue to push for restrictions against abortion. If only she could have gotten an easier, earlier, more accessible, more professional abortion, she could have avoided all this horror.
Or would she? The article says that McCormack wanted to end her pregnancy right away, but bemoans that "the logistics of arranging it all took about two months." It implies that if she had been able to get a quick and easy abortion two months earlier, none of this would have happened.
Let's look more closely at that idea. Here's what actually happened: McCormack thought she was about fourteen weeks along, but she was actually much further.
The fetus was much bigger than she had expected. It was about a foot long, clearly female, with identifiable features and hair.
According to the autopsy, the fetus was closer to 23 weeks along. So if she had had an abortion two months earlier, she would have been fifteen weeks along. Here is what a fifteen-week-old fetus looks like:
What would McCormack have thought if this child was the one born dead on the bathroom floor, rather than the 23-week-old one she actually bore? No big deal? Just another piece of trash? That's hard to believe. The problem would have been the same in either case: a fetus of either age is clearly a child, a little girl. This mother couldn't just throw her out. If she had hidden a 15-week-old fetus on her barbeque, she would have done the same as she actually did with her 23-week-old fetus: she led the police to the body and said, "My baby is in the box."
But most women know they're pregnant before they're 23 or even 15 weeks along. Most women, if they want an abortion, will seek one right away, before there are any recognizable features or silky hair to worry about. So surely, other women could be spared McCormack's horrible fate if they know they can get emergency contraception or an abortion pill quickly and safely, with the help of a trained physician. No one should be put in the position of taking a drug, waiting alone, and hoping for the best! That's unsafe, and cruel, surely.
Then why does the article use this story as an example? There is no mention that McCormack's physical health was compromised. It seems that the drug worked exactly as she had hoped. It seems that, if she had gotten her abortion drug legally, in the way that pro-choicers hope for, she would have had exactly the same experience as she actually ended up having.
Why? Because Planned Parenthood has spent the last few years vigorously campaigning for less medical oversight on abortion drugs.
Less, not more.
Here's how The New Republic article phrases it:
Several states have recently passed or are considering legislation to limit access to abortion drugs online and off. In 2011, Wisconsin passed a measure that would potentially subject doctors to criminal charges for performing medication abortions without adhering to certain specific protocols, such as seeing the patient three times; Planned Parenthood clinics in the state stopped providing medication abortions in April, and the organization has filed suit against the law.
What law? A law that would require them to follow FDA regulations. That's it. When they say "limit[ing] access to abortion drugs," they mean "requiring basic medical safeguards." This is pro-choicer's current cause célèbre: they demand less involvement by trained physicians. Less oversight by the FDA. Fewer requirements to ensure the woman's health and well-being.
Pro-choicers do not want women to have an ultrasound to confirm gestational age, even though 16 to 23% of women who took RU-486 beyond the FDA-recommended 7 weeks required a D and C because of heavy bleeding or incomplete abortion. 612 women were hospitalized after using the drug, 339 needed a blood transfusion, and 256 suffered infections. And fourteen women died. According to the FDA report, eight of the dead women had been administered RU-486 in a manner unapproved by the FDA.
Presumably Susan Yanow of the Reproductive Health Access Project has access to the FDA's findings; and yet she is quoted in The New Republic article saying,
“Ideally, I would like for a woman who is under nine weeks to be able to call a clinic or a physician and to get excellent counseling about medical abortion and then at the end of the call hear, ‘So, would you like me to phone a prescription in to your nearby pharmacy, or would you like to come in and do this with the support of a medical practitioner?’
What do you suppose Jennie McCormack would have said on such a phone call? "Call it in, please. Yes, I'm sure I'm under nine weeks. No, I can't come in to see you." And you know the rest of her story.
If Planned Parenthood and other radical pro-choice groups have their way, DIY abortions will rise -- not because abortions will become harder to get, but because they will become easier. McCormack's story will become commonplace. Desperate women with no support, who feel like they have no other choice, will be taking drugs that they don't understand. There will be no one to help them. No one will be required to support them. No one will check after their emotional health. No one will follow up to make sure the woman isn't hemorrhaging, or suffering sepsis. No one will be there to see after the disposal of the tiny body.
That's the only part of this story that embarrasses pro-choicers: she didn't do a better job of hiding the body. Every other detail played out exactly according to what they demand for all women.
Yes, there will be a rise of DIY abortions. And what will we do about it? The same thing we always do: the far left will blame the government for making abortion too hard, and the far right will blame women for being too easy. The far left will rail against doctors who want to heal women, not tear out their insides; and the far right will rail against women who are so desperate, they are willing to tear out their insides.
And all the while, Jennie Linn McCormack cleans herself up, wipes down the floor, and looks around, wondering where to hide the body.
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hold on Simcha..most of the far right HELP any women they can before or after an abortion. You have labeled the far right disparagingly and I do not agree with your remarks towards them. I and so many other prolifers care about the Mother as much as the baby and offer our homes or any help possible to take care of them both. Sadly, they turn away from us because of the few who do get angry. If you have spent any time with 40 Days for Life or Gabriel Project or Rachel’s Vineyard, you would not have made the statements you made against the “left.” I generally love your articles, but quite frankly, your last 2 statements made me downright mad.
What a tragic story. I hope Jennie gets the psychological help she needs.
@Rebecca, what little paradise or world are you living in? I’d love to be in a state where the “right” opens their homes to women facing crisis pregnancies. We allegedly have “40 Days For Life” and all those other projects here, but nobody is doing anything but holding meaningless prayer vigils outside our local abortion clinic and posting meaningless self righteous vitriol on Catholic blogs. If you live in an area where the prolifers are doing all you say they are doing, God bless you and the people you live among. A lot of what is going on in the rest of the country is self-righteous, sexist blather.
Rebecca, sounds like you belong to the “right,” not the “far right.” I’ve heard right-win extremists say that Project Gabriel is useless because women who have sex outside of marriage should have to deal with the consequences themselves, etc. I think Simcha is referring to those people, not conservatives who are trying to genuinely help women.
Will witnessing outside of abortion clinics become obsolete? No one will be outside of the homes where these DIY abortions take place perhaps causing a brief, but effective pause, before swallowing the drug. I’ve heard stories of what these DIY drugs do and yes, there is a body.
Hi Darlene,
Actually what you descirbe as “meaningless prayer vigils” aren’t. Abby Johnson reported on Catholic Answers that the turnaway rate at clinics where people were simply present outside was over 70%. Given your tone, you might not see that as helpful. There is a crisis pregnancy center right next to PP in our city. When the women turn away from the clinic, they often turn into the clinic where they find support during and after their pregnancy (often for years after the baby is born). I’d say your experience is increasingly the minority one.
Thank you for this.
Sadly, I tend to agree that with the internet & online drug sales there will surely be an increase in do-it-yourself abortions.
Such a sad tale.I hope someone can help Jennie Linn before the story repeats itself.As terrible as it is, at least mothers have a chance to see the reality & humanity of the unborn child-something kept hidden by Planned Parenthood.Maybe that will bring some change.
Simcha ia a woman of experience. I think she is looking at this with clear eyes.
Here is an example of official Catholic reaction to a woman who decided against abortion.
http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/news/teacher-sues-church-over-pregnancy-firing/nThJR/
http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/news/archdiocese-responds-to-pregnancy-lawsuit-by-ex-te/nTmRd/
If I were a Catholic or a pro-lifer, I wouldn’t be proud. I’d be scratching my head over this and wondering why the parish that puts all the little crosses out to commemorate the horror of abortion is broadcasting the message that the real mistake is getting caught.
I love the pejorative “far-right” classification, as if anybody else is doing anything but blow smoke.
I was a reluctant member of a “far-right” kookish group who prayed on a relentlessly regular basis in front of notorious abortuaries. Besides the fact that the holiest clery and religious in God’s creation were there with us cheek and jowl, our group included two people who got up every morning before work to witness prayerfully at a “clinic” that disposed of 50,000 children a year.
Unfortunately, 7am was “check-in” time at the mill, so to make any difference at all, you needed to be there, rosary beads and signs in hand, by 6:30AM. I would ride by, morning after morning on the express bus, and see them there witnessing - relentless as steel.
Out of our little stalinist cell, 3 couples adopted 7 children between them (at last count). Call it groupthink.
One couple famously picked up a “adopt-a-fetus” card at a pro-life function, and filled in a girl-baby’s name - to pray for that little proto-child. They ended up bringing home a homeless family with a pregnant single mom. After countless hours of makeshift spiritual counselling, buying groceries, feeding teenage sons, trips to the emergency room for sonograms and false labor, the little girl-child arrived. Her name? The same as had been pencilled into that card. And never a word was said.
You don’t have to look hard to find pro-life miracles. You just have to be fanatical enough to want one.
cowalker, why do you bother to lie when your statements can be so easily debunked?
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The woman in question was not fired because she decided against abortion. Her decision not to abort, while laudable, was irrelevant to the fact that she violated her employment contract, one that she signed and agreed to prior to her hire.
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It is not the responsibility of an employer to protect employees who violate their employee contracts. If Ms. Quinlan wanted to keep her job, and her insurance, she should not have violated her employment contract. (And yes, I believe male employees who are found to be having extra-marital sex should also be fired).
Simcha, thank you for this thoughtful piece. Thank you for bringing Truth to this party.
Darlene, where do you live where these people who pray aren’t helping women? I know in our community when the local pregnancy crisis center is helping a young woman it asks people for every kind of support for the young woman and her baby and they receive it. Whether it’s free pre and post-natal care, a home for the woman to live in, education and/or work opportunities the same people who pray outside are the same ones providing for these women and their children. You assume they aren’t helping, but have you seen them turn women away or is that your assumption that the people who are out praying aren’t doing what they can to help these women as well?
JoAnna posted on Friday, Jan 4, 2013 1:48 PM (EDT):
“If Ms. Quinlan wanted to keep her job, and her insurance, she should not have violated her employment contract.”
Ah, but you see she could also have kept her job by having an abortion. Since men do not get pregnant, birth control is available, and women can get abortions, the church cannot really punish employees for extra-marital sex unless they are caught doing so in public, or the woman gets pregnant.
Seriously, do you think that firing Ms. Quinlan supports the pro-life rhetoric that a baby isn’t a punishment? Even if the baby isn’t a punishment, the parish made sure the woman was punished for having a baby by firing her. Could that be the kind of consequence President Obama was referring to when he said he didn’t want a daughter “punished” by a baby.
I doubt I will be the only person driving by that field of crosses this January and thinking “Oh, yes, that’s the parish that fired the unmarried teacher for having twins. Gosh, that seems hypocritical.”
If I were pro-life I’d be furious at this undermining of the message against abortion. Being a pro-choice realist, I think, that’s how the Catholic Church rolls—appearances must be maintained at all costs. Nothing new here.
Here’s a damn clue: Adoption.
@cowalker:
“Ah, but you see she could also have kept her job by having an abortion.” - Right, we can often get what we want by disregarding the rights of others. So what?
“Since men do not get pregnant, birth control is available, and women can get abortions, the church cannot really punish employees for extra-marital sex unless they are caught doing so in public, or the woman gets pregnant.” - Your use of the word ‘since’ here is incorrect, since there is no logical connection between your premise and conclusion.
JohnD, adoption isn’t nearly as simple as your snide remark makes it appear to be. That’s not to say that I think abortion is an answer, only that the red tape engulfing adoption feeds the abortion monster. And, JoAnna, cowalker may be “a pro-choice realist,” but he or she is right about the Ohio case: For the archdiocese to fire a pregnant single woman, without any attempt to help her find a comparable position so as to care for her children, hugely undermines the pro-life commitment of the Catholic Church. Whatever the circumstances of conception, and I can imagine non-sinful circumstances a woman might be hesitant to share with an employer and has a right to keep private, the pregnancy is not a sin. And Ms. Quinlan *offered* to take a “behind the scenes” role at her school during her pregnancy, presumably to mitigate scandal for the children.
Actually, cowalker, she could have been fired for having an abortion as well, if her employers found out about it.
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“Seriously, do you think that firing Ms. Quinlan supports the pro-life rhetoric that a baby isn’t a punishment?”
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Ms. Quinlan is being fired for her poor behavior and lack of judgement which caused her to violate her employment contract, not due to her pregnancy or the baby.
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If I get fired from my job because I violate my employer’s policies, does that mean that I’m being punished because I have a husband and family to support? Do you believe that every employer who fires a problem employee does so because they want to punish the employee’s family? That’s illogical.
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Can you provide proof for your assertion that Ms. Quinlan did not receive assistance in any way from pro-life groups during or after her pregnancy?
Michelle, do all employers have a responsibility to provide financial help and other assistance to their fired employees, especially ones fired due to violating their employment contract?
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I hope Ms. Quinlan availed herself of the many sources of help for pregnant women, both offered by the Church and other organizations, in her area. But no, she violated her contract of employment so it was entirely fair for her employer to give her a consequence as a result - as stated in her contract. I don’t blame them for not wanting her to work “behind the scenes” - she could still be seen my children and parents, which creates scandal, and I don’t blame them for not wanting someone who so callously disregards her employment contract as an employee.
@Darlene-
have you asked any of them if they’re willing?
Apples and oranges. If the teacher signed a contract and then violated that contract, she’s fired. If a man did the same, he would be fired, for whatever reason that violated the employment contract. The Church has always stood for the truth - and the truth is that having premarital sex is wrong, whether it results in pregnancy or not, it’s wrong. So, she got fired for her morally corrupt behavior according to the Church. If she really took her contract seriously, she wouldn’t be having premarital sex. Easier said than done, of course, but there are consequences for behavior. Saying that the Church is condoning abortion by firing a teacher for getting pregnant from premarital sex is illogical.
DavidM posted on Friday, Jan 4, 2013 3:02 PM (EDT):@cowalker:
“‘Ah, but you see she could also have kept her job by having an abortion.’ - Right, we can often get what we want by disregarding the rights of others. So what?”
So the firing makes abortion (in your view “disregarding the rights of others”) more attractive to a pregnant woman who knows she will face the extra burdens of losing her job and health insurance if she carries the pregnancy to term. Ascension Parish has added weight on the abortion side of the scale for any unmarried woman employee with a morality clause in her contract who has a choice to make about continuing a pregnancy. Pro-lifers might be expected to think this is a bad thing.
“‘Since men do not get pregnant, birth control is available, and women can get abortions, the church cannot really punish employees for extra-marital sex unless they are caught doing so in public, or the woman gets pregnant.’ - Your use of the word ‘since’ here is incorrect, since there is no logical connection between your premise and conclusion.”
Does it help if you substitute “because” for “since?” My point is, it’s pretty much impossible to punish people for extra-marital sex unless they are taking insane chances in public or there is a pregnancy that progresses to “showing.” My question is, does it make sense to take advantage of a rare opportunity when a woman has been caught out by pregnancy to send the message “Yes, the church opposes abortion but we will punish an unmarried woman for carrying a pregnancy to term”? It seems counter-productive to the pro-life message, and I don’t rhink I am alone in this perception.
Actually, cowalker, if a woman gets pregnant by a man working at a Catholic school and then sues him for child support, or informs his superiors that the baby is his, he could/should be fired as well—even if she later has an abortion.
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Do you honestly believe that the Church should not be allowed to fire employees who violate their contracts?
I certainly hope Planned Parenthood and their ilk open their eyes and see contraception caused this woman’s problems. If the women had never bought into the idea that she could have sex without a child she wouldn’t have had so many babies by so many men.
Simcha, your readers are certainly supporting your thesis that the far right will continue to blame women for being too easy. If women slip up the Church is fully justified in using every legal option to leave them without resources. We all know that if you have the right under law to do something, then it’s ok with God, whether it’s having an abortion or firing an unmarried pregnant teacher.
@cowalker:
You seem to think that if we care about abortion, then we shouldn’t care about anything else, and that promotion of chastity is unrelated to prevention of abortion. That’s silly. Ascension Parish has added weight not just where you indicate, but also on the chastity side of the scale for any unmarried employee who is tempted to fornicate (i.e., probably pretty much all of them, to some degree).
‘Because’ means the same as ‘since’, so I don’t know why you imagine that might improve your case. Men (i.e., single male employees) get women pregnant and it easily enough becomes public knowledge when this occurs. Don’t pretend otherwise. Also, you are again brutally distorting the nature of the policy in question, again because you are ignoring its purpose and thinking only about its possible negative consequences in relation to abortion (while ignoring its possible positive consequences). You should try to avoid doing this again - if you do, you will inevitably begin to appear to be simply dishonest.
Whether or not there’s something wrong with ‘blaming women for being too easy’, this is irrelevant. The issue is one of upholding contractual obligations, not of assigning blame. If you don’t believe in upholding contractual obligations, fine. But please be honest.
“If women slip up the Church is fully justified in using every legal option to leave them without resources.” Another lie, cowalker. As I asked before (and you refused to answer), can you provide proof for your assertion that Ms. Quinlan did not receive assistance in any way from pro-life groups during or after her pregnancy?
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I fully agree with you that the Church should help Ms. Quinlan or any woman to the extent of Her abilities during her pregnancy and after. However, that does not mean the Church could or should be forced to provide her with continuing employment considering that she deliberately breached her contract of employment.
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In what other context should an employer provide continued employment to someone who has deliberately violated their employment contract?
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On that note, cowalker, if you ever start a business, let me know. I’d love to work for you, considering it’d be impossible to get fired! I could surf the Internet all day, and if you attempted to fire me, I’d claim it was because you hated my family and wanted to see my children starve to death.
Cowalker, this article is not about a narrow subclass of Catholic hypocrites, it’s about any or all women who buy abortion drugs online for the reasons laid out.
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You seem to confirm what I have seen played out over and over in “pro-choice” abortion rhetoric and political action: That abortion is so sacred it must never be questioned. The push for freedom of abortion for any or all reasons with the least restrictions by NARAL, NOW. PP and the like, has led to filthy, unregulated and unmonitored abortion mills, run by the most loathsome of butchers. And now THIS.
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We’ve all read about the doctors that have been *caught* and the grisly business they plied for years. The authorities finally intervene because another woman bleeds out with a perforated Uterus, bowel, or retained body parts that lead to sepsis and shock. Remember that clinic that had a high school teen administering anesthesia? Where were the women’s rights advocates? The truth is, that they don’t give a damn.
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Pro-life activists have known about these clinics and the women they’ve killed for years before they finally find a parent heartbroken enough to press charges.
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What on earth is WRONG with so many so-called feminists? Their attitude and straw man arguments *prove* that their shrill demand for “freedom” disregards the DEATH of countless of their sisters who have died because of shoddy medical conditions/procedures, lack of regulation and reporting. The truth is, that they shrug, and see these women as collateral damage in the relentless fight for “women’s rights”.
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At the end of the day, what do these women have? Do these advocates of free love die happy and fulfilled, surrounded by the love of intact families? In the end, what have they really fought for? Are women more free and fulfilled than ever?
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I wish you could meet my godchildren that were saved from abortion. They are bright and beautiful. They would have become “medical waste” had we not been there in front of the clinic, and helped their mothers get the care they needed. THAT is what being pro-woman is all about.
Today is my birthday. That was a good post to read on my birthday. Thanks.
I wonder when the Church started being primarily a business? If I were to evaluate Church activities by the standards of a business enterprise, they would rank somewhere between DMV and Pete’s Hot Dog Shack. Anyone looking for even acceptable business practices from Holy Mother Church is bound to be shocked by flippancy, caprice and self-exonerations. Why? No one in “Church” is the least capable, or even disposed towards making business decisions. Want good business - try Apple. The Church: martyrdom and mistake. But don’t be to haughty cowalker. Government is a close second. At least the Pope is no longer blowing people up.
Jessica,
I wish it was that simple but stories like this predate modern contraception.
It seems to me that there really shouldn’t be any controversy at all on the issue of so-called ‘Medi
cal Abortions’.
The rhetoric of every single pro-abortion organization out there is that they seek to protect women’s health and make sure that all women have access to excellent ‘reproductive care’. Buying drugs off the internet, sitting alone in your home waiting for them to work, enduring the delivery of a dead fetus, figuring out what to do with that dead fetus, and making sure you don’t bleed to death or develop a fatal infection simply do not qualify as care of any kind.
So while pro-lifers are against this because its just one more form of abortion, I cannot see how pro-choice people can be in favor of it. Unless they don’t really care about women at all.
Thanks for this article, Simcha. Its a topic which is becoming more important as this kind of abortion becomes more common.
Has no one noticed that I’m not saying the parish shouldn’t have the RIGHT to fire Ms. Quinlan? I’m saying the parish set a terrible example and undermined the pro-life message by choosing to pursue their right to fire her. If the law forces them to re-hire her, it would do nothing to repair that damage, or refute the charge of hypocrisy.
And I have no idea if pro-life groups came to Ms. Quinlan’s rescue (with health care insurance?—that would be lovely!) Pro-life groups do not act officially for the Catholic Church as a priest or bishop does. Pro-life groups aren’t even necessarily Catholic. Do you think it makes the parish’s action sound better to add, “It’s ok because Ms. Quinlan got diapers and baby clothes from Right to Life?”
I don’t know much, but I know one thing - confirmed by Jennie Linn’s nightmare experience, and deserving a big strong confirmation: There’s just no keeping that dead baby down. Trust me, ladies.
cowalker, DavidM already responded to your points, above: “You seem to think that if we care about abortion, then we shouldn’t care about anything else, and that promotion of chastity is unrelated to prevention of abortion. That’s silly. Ascension Parish has added weight not just where you indicate, but also on the chastity side of the scale for any unmarried employee who is tempted to fornicate (i.e., probably pretty much all of them, to some degree).
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‘Because’ means the same as ‘since’, so I don’t know why you imagine that might improve your case. Men (i.e., single male employees) get women pregnant and it easily enough becomes public knowledge when this occurs. Don’t pretend otherwise. Also, you are again brutally distorting the nature of the policy in question, again because you are ignoring its purpose and thinking only about its possible negative consequences in relation to abortion (while ignoring its possible positive consequences). You should try to avoid doing this again - if you do, you will inevitably begin to appear to be simply dishonest.”
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Can you prove that Ms. Quinlan did not receive any help from the parish and/or the parish community during or after her pregnancy?
Jessica, this doesn’t sound like a contraception-mentality problem, it sounds like a personal problem. She had her first child at 14! And then others with different men. It sounds like she was NOT living the standard middle class life. She is a desperate, single mom living in dysfunction - how did she possibly think she could hide a dead body indefinitely?? Where is her family? Just as screwed up?? This is a terribly sad, heartbreaking story.
Cowalker, once again, I agree completely with you.
Mary (Jesus’s mom) would have been stoned to death for being pregnant and not yet married to Joseph. She should have been according to the law. Joseph was going to dismiss her but chose to marry her for her to save face. And, after all that, he never was allowed to have sex with his wife.
Now, all of you that think the Sl_t should have been fired. Unleash the hate.
thank you for saying this simcha!
Poor baby girl… this story turned my stomach. What we really need is education and not on how to use birth control. So sad.
I have two children with disabilities, and sadly I have found the Catholic Church to have a very less than pro-life attitude when it comes to supporting parents like me. When I refused to abort, I had plenty of support, but after my children were born, I received nothing. I’m not speaking of financial support, fortunately we are financially secure. I’m talking about basic kindness and acceptance. It pains me so deeply that my children find so little acceptance or love from our parishes (we have been in two since their birth.) I feel like the Catholic Church values my children very little. I think wemas Catholics talk about the value of life when it comes to the abortion issue, but we often fail to support it after birth. Not all Catholics, or all parishes, obviously, but Simcha is correct, in general we still blame instead of support women and it seems we forget to practice what we preach once the baby is born., when things get really messy. And those of you claiming that men are punished for premarital sex the same as women are, give me a break. How many Catholic high schools have kicked pregnant girls out and allowed the boys who were involved in creating the child to remain? Oddly enough, this recently happened at a school down south the administration claimed that since the boy in question denied it, and they had no way of proving it, there was nothing they could do-except to kick the harlot out of school, of course. I’ll never believe that abortion is right, in any circumstance, but we need to do a better job of supporting all human life from conception to grave.
This story appeared in a magazine a while back. McCormick’s friends and family commented online. McCormick is a drug abuser who steals from her friends and family to support her habit. She has 3 children from 3 different men- and was impregnated this last time by the boyfriend who is now in prison for a drug offense. She lives in a government subsidized condo- very nice one according to the pictures- and receives food stamps, WIC, welfare, and free daycare for her children. Her mother also offered to watch the children and help her daughter out financially and she does receive child support from one of the baby daddies. Having been pregnant at least 3 times before this case, she knew full well when she was pregnant and the journalist- with a pro abortion agenda- made up all the excuses for why McCormick did not/could not get a legal abortion in order to rile her base of abortion feminists. McCormick is an irresponsible woman who is beyond hope. She is being used by the radical abortion supporters to further their agenda. Let us pray for the soul of her aborted daughter and pray that McCormick, like Norma McCorvey,finds salvation in Jesus.
Laura, I’m sorry that support has been lacking for you, and you’re right that the Church can do a better job (She is comprised of fallible humans, after all).
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However, I think the school you’re referring to is a charter school in Louisiana, not a Catholic school: http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/education/story/2012-08-09/pregnant-students-school-policy/56903646/1
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Be that as it may, there are tests can can confirm paternity as early as 12 weeks gestation (the CVS test, for example). So it’s not accurate that paternity can only be tested after birth.
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If the pregnant woman (Ms. Quinlan) in question had violated her contract in some other way—for example, let’s say she’d hit a student, or had stolen money from school coffers—would it still be the school’s duty to keep her on as an employee because she’s pregnant?
Rover Seton - if an Angel of God appeared to the school principal and said that Ms. Quinlan should be kept on as an employee, then of course the principal should follow the angel’s advice.
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Mary did nothing wrong. Ms. Quinlan did. Unless you can provide evidence in the form of an angelic visitation that Ms. Quinlan was impregnated by the Holy Spirit, your comparison is flawed.
For some time now I have been praying for an end to both abortion and euthanasia.
Does it hold water to say, “unless you hid Jews, you have no right to say you are against the Holocaust?”
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Get real.
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Let’s focus on the real issue here—More dead bodies, and plenty of adult women who will die also.
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Sandra Fluk, care to comment?
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Abortion is *always* a punishment, and *always* a death sentence.
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Adoption is life affirming.
A great argument for safe, legal abortions! Yes, FDA involvement would be ideal in ensuring a woman is well-cared for and knows what she is doing. Regulation of the procedure can only improve the outcome.
In many parts of the USA, pro-lifers have started maternity shelters, providing a place to live, food, counseling and material support to women whose economic existence is endangered by pregnancy.
Often, following delivery of a baby, the mother is reconciled with her family and decides to keep the baby.
The shelters do make available literature on adoption. Many childless couples wait for months or longer to adopt infants. Finding adoptive parents for older children is much more difficult.
I resent the description of all pro-lifers as “right-wing”, although I admit that many do feel that the government has expanded and taken control of many activities that should be left to individual choice, or to the states.
TeaPot562
BTW. Thank you, Simcha for this column.
TeaPot562
Laura- I am sorry to hear that your Church does not support your disabled children. My Parish does a lot for the parents of disabled children and offers all kinds of programs for their children! Perhaps YOU can start a CCD program, childcare program, etc.. at your Parish? Sometimes that is all it takes. God Bless you. I will pray that you find the support in your Parish that you seek. Remember, “ask you you shall receive”- so ask! Ask for support! Don’t give up if you hit a roadblock- keep knocking on doors until one opens. God Bless you and your family.
From reading these stories and others from female friends - the biggest thing I would like to see is more support for women before they get pregnant. I recall, vividly, a friend of mine getting an abortion because she’d conceived a baby in the grips of mania. She’d been trying to get help for years and been constantly turned away for lack of money for sustained treatment. I’ve seen other cases of women encouraged to return to abusive partners, or at least denied help because “someone’s willing to pay for you.” By the time these women get pregnant, they’ve learned not to look for help.
An underlying assumption of stories like the one above is that abortion is the ultimate personal sin, beyond forgiveness. But this is not true. If the abomination of abortion teaches us anything, its this:
1-No matter how sanctified we think we are, we are never far from self destruction, without total and complete reliance on God. This also applies to atheists who are sanctified by science. The irony of abortion is that the sanctimonious, self-satisfied and ritually pure are dripping with “sales mains,” and wander through the world like Lady Macbeth.
2-God does not care about any personal sin, if we repent and return to him. He is willing to accept and cleanse us no matter what the level of our guilt. Isn’t that the “good news” the world is so desperately in need of? I know it worked for me.
@JoAnna
Are you suggesting that a school should demand that a girl subject her fetus to the (small but still present) risk of a CVS test just to get the father expelled, too?
As opposed to the 100% chance of death from an abortion? Sure.
@JoAnna and JBW, thank you for your kind words. In fact I do teach CCD, two classes. Unfortunately one of my children is disabled enough that she is unable to participate. Perhaps if there were more children with similar levels of disability, I could teach a class where she could be included, as it is, I teach her at home. There are actually not that many families with disabled children in our parish. there is a parish about 40 minutes away that does have such a program and we have considered changing to it if we could get permission to do so. The problem is that we have several other children and we feel it is important for them to attend CCD and church in their town so that they make connections with local Catholic children. It is a tough decision, for sure. I don’t need a special program though. I just wold like to see kindness, compassion and acceptance in the eyes of my fellow parishioners. I’d like my church (globally speaking) to be a place of succor and refuge. A place where I believe my kids and all the others like them have value just because they are. Yes, there are many parishes and parishioners who do a wonderful job with this issue, but I think there are more that don’t. Having bad examples like this weakens our entire church family, I think. Just like we were all weakened by the few that were part of our horrible pedophilla scandal.My point is that we, as Catholics have to do a better job of practicing what we preach-ALL life is precious-no matter how small or weak, poor or disabled, children of “morally upright women” and children of “loose women.” God doesn’t care about those things. Did the parish have a legal right to fire the woman, sure it did. But how much more compassionate and wonderful it would have been to support her, even though she sinned and broke her contract. I think that’s what Christ would do. If not for the woman herself, than for the children she carried. We need to do better because it is the right thing to do, but also because when we fail, we give ammunition to those who are working to convince the world that abortion is an OK way to solve “a problem.” Speaking from personal experience, it’s actually not hard to vow to protect a fetus. The real challenge comes later, in loving God’s “imperfect” children. Those that are handicapped physically, mentally, or by circumstances of their birth. It is the people that can embrace these children and their often wounded, hurting parents that are the bravest of us all. @Meg, I think JoAnna’s point is that the school did in fact, have a means to determine paternity. Actually, there are ways other than a CVS test to do so. That the school didn’t make an effort, that they allowed the age-old tradition of blaming the woman continue is both ridiculous and horrible (and JoAnna, I thought it was a Catholic school in VA, but I honestly don’t know.) Several people mentioned that the teacher who was fired set a horrible example for those around her, particularly the children. I bet the parish could have counteracted that by providing it’s parishioners with an incredible example of the love and mercy of God our Father.
Laura,
What can we do as a church to make you feel more welcomed and accepted? I feel bad that your experience has not been good and just want to be more aware and present to the families around me.
I live in Louisiana. I have friends who teach at Catholic schools here in New Orleans. A female student got pregnant. She was forced out of the school when she began to show. She did not give the baby up for adoption but decided to raise it with the help of her parents. She was allowed back into school but not allowed to speak of her baby. She got kicked out for having pictures of it on the inside of her locker door.
This isn’t “pro-life,” or even “pro-chastity.” This is simply a school putting it’s image ahead of doing what’s right.
What the heck is the point of this article? Pointless. Random. Offensive. Do you actually get paid for this?
@Joanna - As I see it you are saying that the school presents the girl with the option of getting expelled, having the CVS test to determine paternity (also forcing the father to submit a DNA sample, apparently) while still getting expelled or having an abortion in which case she gets to remain at the school? This is what her Catholic school principal should suggest?
Meg, I was only responding to your assertion that it was impossible to confirm paternity prior to a baby’s birth. It is not, and the CVS test is routine and very low-risk for those who choose to undergo it.
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I think every case needs to be judged individually. There’s no blanket solution.
In regards to the comment above about St. Joseph and whether or not he would have been justified to hand his betrothed over for the death penalty: Let’s not forget that St. Joseph decided not to have the Blessed Mother stoned, not because an angel warned him not to, but because he was just. His mercy and personal righteousness ought to be an example for Catholics, including those who run schools.
@Beth, your comment brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for caring. I happen to love Simcha’s writing, but for those of you who wonder about the worth of her articles, the fact that this article generated this comment from Beth to me, well, it’s worth a whole lot.
Beth, people often ignore people with disabilities. I assume it is because it makes many people uncomfortable. What would help is for fellow parishioners to actually look at my kids. Say “hi” to them. Ask me about them the same way you ask me about my other children. If you don’t know what to say or do, I’d love to hear you say that. I want so very badly to know that my kids, all of my kids, have value-even if their value isn’t that they’ll go to Harvard or be the star of a football team. I need to find it in the Church, because if I can’t find it there, I’m afraid I won’t find it anywhere. I love them so-and watching people turn away-even if it’s because of their discomfort, just hurts. More so when it happens in a place where I go to seek the love of God and my Catholic family. Honestly, I used to want more. A whole lot more. I wanted a place for them in our Catholic preschool, because I wanted the same instruction for them that my other kids had. I wanted an inclusive CCD program. I wanted 100% acceptance. Now, I’ll settle for just having them be welcomed. Beth, just you asking what you can do means so very much, even if you’ll be practicing it on other people ;). God bless you.
Laura, I need to tell you it doesn’t need to be as bad as that. We’ve had quite a ride with one of our boys, but it’s falling into place slowly but surely. We’re living in a world where disabled kids are radioactive, despite the pc rhetoric. However, what you’ll find is that these issues affect more families than you could imagine.
I used to find the church door locked and regret that I had no access to God. But you know, I prayed and since then it has never been a problem. Somehow the door has always openned to me. Seriously.
Rebecca,
I think Simcha is right on her labeling of far right and far left, I think you are just applying far right to a more broad spectrum than she is. Certainly Rachels vineyard and most of the people who are ACTIVE in the prolife movement are more than happy to help in any situation before or after and God bless them for that but there are people out there who are absolutely unsympathetic to the plight of these women. This would be more of the Westboro crowd, I think Simcha would agree with what you said and it’s just a little confusion about who she was labeling the far right
God has chosen to build His Church with living and flawed stones. We don’t always make the best decisions. Ms. Quinlin’s case is unfortunate but I think that if I had been in the same situation - I would have understood that I broke my contract and I would not have chosen to sue the Church for firing me (while at the same time I would have felt desperate to keep my job and would have felt hurt and rejected to have lost it- I suppose I would have expected the Church to be merciful). However, would I not expect to be fired if I had stolen and admitted it- or would I still have expected mercy from the good Catholic Church because I had shown virtue by admitting it? Is this not also how we treat Jesus daily? Oh, He’ll be merciful. He is, but He doesn’t let us go that easily without a few consequences to purify us. Even with His forgiveness, we often still have to suffer through the temporal consequences from our sins. She broke the contract that she, herself, signed and it was discovered- that was what got her fired. Sounds like Adam and Eve in the Garden to me. We all have been there. Harsh consequences does not mean we are unloved by God or by the Church. But, there are consequences to our actions. Got sent Adam and Eve out of the garden (like Ms. Quinlin was sent out) but nobody sent any of them out of the Church. Nobody said she couldn’t receive support. Jesus has still come for her just as he did for Adam and Eve and all the rest of us. There is still plenty of mercy there for her. Jesus suffered though innocent because we suffer sometimes innocently and sometimes from our own actions. Hopefully, Ms. Quinlin did receive some kind of help from people in the Catholic church because of their mercy but it may have been hard since she did not accept their decision and instead, chose to sue them. That, I imagine, might have made it hard for anyone to help because she may not have been able to admit she had made a mistake in breaking the morality clause of her contract. Then she sues because she didn’t (or her lawyer didn’t) think the rules should apply to her? How often do we think the same - we even reject Confession because we decide for ourselves what God thinks about our behavior…we might be surprised someday to find out that God is not an enabler - merciful, yes, but He wants us to own up to our mistakes- they don’t get to come to Heaven with us—which is a great thing, unless we don’t want to let go of them - then we go where they go by our own choice. Never, I hope never, will she regret her choice of choosing life for her baby. Choosing to say yes to God did not mean that Mary was free of the consequences of being a single mom—she trusted God and accepted what came. I don’t think Mary would have sued Joseph because he wanted to divorce her…God will intervene as needed in Ms. Quinlin’s life just has He did in Mary’s…and we all will have all of Heaven to understand how He worked it all out through the individual details of all of the sin and good we contribute to the world. In the end, God knows His Plan. Meanwhile - we have to pray and do our best to try to follow His Will and Trust. We pray that Ms. McCormick finds Jesus—God works through all things. A baby she couldn’t bring herself to bury may be a gift to point her to Truth, love, and mercy. It is because of Jesus she has hope of seeing her babies again- I do pray she finds Him. He knows well her heart, her sufferings, and where He is taking her spiritually.
Trusting in God’s Wisdom, Goodness, and Mercy
There once was a man who proclaimed he did not believe in God. “God could never love anyone and if he existed, I would insist that he prove it to me”, he often proclaimed to friends. “God takes lives all the time and the poor and down-trodden are first on the menu”, he would say further. Even though the man was often kind to people all throughout his life, he believed that one should live life to the fullest in every way. He also believed strongly that a woman had every right to an abortion, and if she chose to do so, it was her business only.
One day the man found himself in front of an abortion clinic watching women walk in as protestors were praying and begging the pregnant women not to go in the clinic. A woman who was protesting began talking loudly to a young pregnant woman who was walking into the clinic. This immediately enraged the man and he began yelling at and cursing the woman who was protesting and others began to join in.
The young woman walking into the clinic became scared and upset at both the woman protesting and the man, and immediately turned and ran away from the clinic. This enraged the man and others even more and they escalated their yelling and insults toward the woman protestor. The woman protestor cried and left the scene.
Many, many years later the man was in a serious car accident and was thrown from the car. As he lay dying, many people consoled him as an ambulance rushed to the scene. A young priest who had also been called to the scene began to perform last rites. The man, although in terrible pain and very terrified, gruffly said to the priest, “Don’t waste your breath with that prayer, Father, I’m not a Catholic and even if I was, God has never gone out of his way to help me – take a good look”.
The priest gently smiled at the man and stopped saying the last rites. After a few seconds, the priest began to softly recite the Divine Chaplet of Mercy. “For the sake of His Sorrowful Passion, have Mercy on us and the whole world”, he recited over and over. The man peacefully passed into darkness.
Suddenly, a great light engulfed the man along with great love. The man was more afraid than ever as he knew he was in the presence of God. He asked what was happening and who it was that he was speaking to. He asked this because he could only see one form but felt there were others in the area as well.
“I am Jesus, Son of the Living God, and you have been born to a new life. We are here to judge your life on earth”. Immediately, as in a video, the man began to see his entire life in review. The good and the bad.
Many times when he helped the poor; other times when he freely partook in sins of the flesh. Many times when he helped the elderly, and other times when he intentionally hurt people. The life review seemed to stop as quickly as it had started and the man felt ashamed.
Quickly, however, the man recovered, and recalled what he had said to friends during his life. “What chance did I have when my creator never showed any effort to reach out to me with love?” “Why did you not even try a little to help save me from myself?”
The Lord looked lovingly at the man and played back the life scene in front of the abortion clinic. The man was mortified as he watched himself become enraged. He was overcome with resign and asked the Lord what happened to the woman protestor who had left the scene those many years ago.
The Lord responded, “She was called to me a few days later, she had accomplished her mission”.
“And what of the woman that decided not to have an abortion that day?” he asked.
“She bore a healthy son and passed to me after childbirth, she had accomplished her mission”.
The man looked down and felt very sad. He slowly looked up and softly said to the Lord, “I wish I would have met her son; that I could know what he looks like and see how he turned out in life”. But, I never did, and yet you show me these images anyway.” Lord, can you not show me one instance in my life where you went out of your way even a little bit to show the extent of your love for me”?
“You met her son at the twilight of your life”, said the Lord, “He will be joining us soon – he has accomplished his mission”. “Come, let us go to heaven”.
The man felt happy, relieved, and curious all at once, and felt compelled to ask Jesus two final questions. “Who was this woman’s son and what was his mission?” asked the man.
“He was a simple priest who believed in God’s Mercy, and you were his mission”, responded three voices.
- Jesus to St. Faustina – Divine Mercy in My Soul - Diary, 1541
“It pleases Me to grant everything souls ask of Me by saying the chaplet. When hardened sinners say it, I will fill their souls with peace, and the hour of their death will be a happy one. Write this for the benefit of distressed souls; when a soul sees and realizes the gravity of its sins, when the whole abyss of the misery into which it immersed itself is displayed before its eyes, let it not despair, but with trust let it throw itself into the arms of My mercy, as a child into the arms of its beloved mother. Tell them no soul that has called upon My Mercy has been disappointed or brought to shame. I delight particularly in a soul that has placed its trust in My Goodness.
Write that when they say this chaplet in the presence of the dying, I will stand between My Father and the dying person, not as the Just Judge but as the Merciful Savior”.
Laura,
I heard you!! And I am going to take that to heart. I’m praying that this acceptance will unfold in your children’s lives. Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts and needs.
Laura, I just wanted to chime in here. I think a large reason many people, especially those who have no experience with disabled people, tend to ignore those people is because they are afraid they will unwittingly say or do something to offend either the person or (like yourself) someone who loves them. So they say or do nothing at all, not realizing that this can be just as hurtful if not more so. Thank you for putting that message out there for us, because I think it’s one that people need to hear and understand. Perhaps your fellow parishioners aren’t so much uncaring as uneducated, and unsure of themselves. :-) I will pray for them, and for your family.
I want to chime in on the sub-thread that references the Dayton story….
about the pregnant teacher who was fired for violating her contract.
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That isn’t how it works in all Catholic organizations, so please don’t lump everyone in.
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Let me tell you about my High School. My family attended a Catholic High School, and in the years that my older sister attended (late 70s early 80s ) a pregnant girl would be expelled. (I’m too young to remember, but surely the boy involved was too)
A few years later, when my brother attended, a new principal was hired. He was a recent Catholic convert (he started teaching at the school and converted - along with his entire family - success story!).
One of the first things the new principal did, was declare that it doesn’t stand in line with Catholic teaching and values to deprive a young woman of her education or to shun her for bad decisions—and thereby the school policy was changed to keep such girls in school and support them the best we could.
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That was in about 1983 or 1984 - and that policy is still in place.
I, of course, followed my siblings to the same school, and in my four years there—- there were no pregnancies to try the policy.
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People will meet your expectations. Even and especially kids.
My all girls Catholic high school had at least one senior give birth every year, and I know that at least five girls were pregnant from my class at graduation. (Don’t even get me started on all of the things we weren’t taught properly about Church teachings on chastity, contraception, and abortion.) No one was ever expelled for being pregnant.
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But you were not allowed to be married. This seemed ludicrous to some people, but the school did not want you to follow up one bad decision (premarital sex) by rushing into another possibly bad decision. Plus it would have undermined the school’s disciplinary authority. (Who would they call if there was a problem—your husband?)
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I also heard that our brother school had policies in their handbook about any young man who impregnated a girl to take responsibility for his child.
Simcha, this is disappointing:
“That’s the only part of this story that embarrasses pro-choicers: she didn’t do a better job of hiding the body. Every other detail played out exactly according to what they demand for all women.”
I’m as pro-choice as it’s possible for anyone to be. NOTHING “embarrassed” me about the truly heartbreaking story—I would hope that unwanted pregnancies like hers could be prevented in the first place, either by practicing chastity for those who choose to do this, or by correct, conscientious use of contraception for those who don’t.
I speak as a woman who once miscarried an unwanted baby at 7-weeks gestation. I was relieved (overjoyed, in fact) at the outcome, but I would not wish the experience on anyone, let alone demand it for “all women.” You seem to have the idea that people like me want everyone to have lots and lots of abortions—otherwise, you wouldn’t say things like what you said above. I realize you are speaking to an audience of mostly pro-life fellow Catholics, but there are a few of us out here who are not pro-life, who think abortion should be legal—and yet would be very happy if no one were ever in a position to have one.
L., I find it interesting that you view abortion and it’s effects on a purely personal level. That’s like restricting your analysis of dioxin toxicity to a few human cells in a petri dish. (It’s very toxic.)
And here’s a newsflash: abortion *is* legal in this country. What you mean to say is that you wish abortion was legitimate. That will be never, as long as we’re still called homo sapiens.
I think what you’re hoping to get out of legalized abortion is disconnectedness between sex and procreation, but more to the point, a disconnection between women and men. Unless you’re resorting to the world of science fiction, you should try reforming your man rather than outright rejection. And reform goes in both directions.
When Jesus taught about purgatory, he never used the word for it that Catholics use. He did however say that those who fail to do justice in this world will be “handed over” to exceeding pain, and would be in confinement until “the last penny is paid”.
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I believe the torture that people will feel in purgatory, by their willful destruction of another human life, will be to experience in a real way the *loss* that this profound act of evil perpetrated upon the world. The pain associated with this will depend on how *freely* the mother entered into this decision. As Mother Teresa said, “It is a profound poverty, that a child should have to die, so that you can live your life as you please.”
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The debt for our salvation has already been paid upon the cross of torture, but the debt of suffering that *every* human being must enter into when they submit to this cross, must still be paid. As St. Paul wrote: “I make up in my own body, that which is wanting in the sacrifice of the cross.” Protestants don’t like to remember this verse because they don’t understand it. It does *not* mean that the sacrifice of Jesus is *lacking*. It means that with our “yes” to Him, we must also conform ourselves to *self sacrifice*. The profound “non-serviam” of the woman who freely chooses death for her own child, cries out for justice. Even if repented of, it would lead me to believe that this leaves her, and perhaps the father of the child, owing for the portion of self sacrifice that child was called to offer in this world. The saints have written that when we enter into beatitude we can’t enter *alone*, we must have “begotten” many other souls, that were saved through our own, daily, “serviam”.
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Abortion, freely embraced, is a repetition of that ancient “non serviam” that Lucifier uttered in defiance of God. It is the abomination of desecration. It is the profound antithesis of the humble path in which God Himself entered into this world in order to save us.
Laura: thanks for your suggestions on how to make disabled children feel welcome! We’ll keep trying harder!
Even bringing non-disabled children to Mass can be a little—well, disappointing. Some parishes are very welcoming of small children and very understanding of the parents who are engaged in the struggle of teaching the wee ones to behave appropriately. Others are not. I went to a parish where the priest glared at parents over a little wriggling or vocalizing (I’m not talking about screaming or wild misbehavior) and his secretary, who had the reputation for asking parents of squirmers to leave, once bitterly mocked the parents who whispered to the children during the Mass to explain to them what was happening. I feel for Laura and her kids and how invisible and devalued they must feel. Me, some days I feel a little TOO visible with my noisy squirmer.
JoAnna, I’m having trouble finding where I, or anyone else, claimed that paternity couldn’t be tested until birth, but I suppose that’s beside the point. In any case, I doubt we’re going to see a rash of schools expelling teenaged fathers, putative or proven, nor do I think that would be some kind of solution to the problems that so many have noted above of how to toe the line between not encouraging premarital sex and not encouraging abortion. In fact, you’d probably then have double pressure on the girl to exercise her so-called right to an abortion.
Personally, I’ve been wondering the last few days if actually seeing that teens who have sex sometimes do get pregnant and have babies and that it’s not all fun and games might actually do more to prevent the classmates from having sex than any expulsion. But that’s certainly hard to predict.
I wonder, since teenagers show such a pronounced proclivity to mate and reproduce, whether we’re not doing them a terrible injustice by making them wait until they’ve garnered three degrees, put in a decade at a professional position, and half-paid for a mc mansion before allowing them the franchise to reproduce. And then there’s that 250-guest hallmark wedding with all the phoney traditions designed to burn through money. It seems to me that rather then paying out mega-bucks for a basically useless private school education, parents would do better to subsidize one or two of their eldest grandchildren through modest married living for their older teenage children, and realistic vocational training.
Matt B ,
I wonder about that, too.Western society’s virtually moved the end of adolescence to around age 30, but biologically we’ve changed little & even experience puberty at an earlier age.We expect young folk to be celibate during the span of years they are most fertile.Or, the secular culture supplies them with contraceptives which by & large abet the spread of STD’s.By the time they’re in their 30’s & considered ready to marry, they already face fertility issues,massive student loan debt,& possibly disease.
When my mother was in highschool many of her classmates were engaged by their senior year.Most college campuses had adequate housing for married students.It was the norm.
One of my greatgrandmother’s was married at 12 & had 9 children by the time she was widowed at 31.She raised every child despite extreme hardships.
Kathleen, It’s an ironic trend that, while brutalizing children through abortion and abuse, our society has simulaneously infantilized them in the ways you describe. I always marvel that freedoms my parents allowed me (and my numerous siblings) as a matter of course, would now land a parent in jail, should they allow it to contemporaneous youth. I won’t allow my 6 year old to walk down to the mailbox without keeping a careful eye out. I used to bike hundreds of miles when I was 10. To me this is an unmistakeable symptom of a very sick society, and a critically impoverished one at that.
BTW, Kathleen, you mention your greatgrandmother, married at 12 and widowed at 31 - who raised 9 children in extreme hardship. While I don’t mean to minimize her difficulties, I think it bears witnessing that this type of life has been the “school of sanctity” for countless generations of Christians from time immmemorial. Far from being trivial, irrelevant or outmoded, what she experienced is how God calls most of us to live.
Nowadays though, Home Shopping Network christians buy books, burn scented candles, gather in loose-fitting clothes and utter suggestive prayers, listen to “evangelists” on DVD, flock to chapels du jour, fly comfortably to pilgrimmage sites, and talk, talk, talk about holiness, while flinching at the merest intimation of sacrifice or suffering. This is what the contraceptive mentatilty is all about: robbing people of every opportunity to attain real holiness, and substituting comfort and convenience instead. Oh my, I broke a nail while saying that!
They refer to their forebears as disadvantaged, but there’s more courage and virtue in one decision to bring child 7, 8 or 9 into the world, than in a hundred nursery fodder “choices.”
@Matt B and Kathleen. You are both so right. Between everything that you just mentioned and the proliferation of internet information/entertainment/temptations to sins against chastity, I find the impetus to get out of bed before the sun rises to beg God at mass and with rosary to protect my children. A lot of the parents out there that have kids under 15 have. no. idea. how. fierce. the. storm. will. rage. against. their. children. God help us, and protect them. There is nowhere to hide them.
@Matt, It took me five kids to finally let go of my vise grip. I had an eight year old who couldn’t be contained. I found myself yelling at him when, in a panic, I finally found him with a buddy, sailing banana slugs on leaves, in the creek behind his school. I had a life-changing epiphany, seeing him there in the redwood forest, with his pants rolled up to his knees in that beautiful clear water. My heart broke for our children that can’t run free anymore. I considered the alternative: Him begging for Xbox because his homework was supposedly done, and I’d bribed him to read a chapter of a book…I got him a phone (which he hardly remembered to charge and that we couldn’t really afford) and began to let him walk to and from school, spend time without adult supervision in the beautiful parks with his friends, and enjoy his life. But I’ve never relaxed about it. I can never relax until he is home safe again. We also had no registered sex offenders in our town…Very small consolation. What is worse? My eldest told me that he’d hacked the firewall on his computer in one sitting, and that all his brothers could do the same with ease. The good thing is that we lived in small homes, so there were eyes everywhere.
—Then they go to college. Remember college? For some reason my kids needed to tell me everything about college. Sigh.
I guess when Moses said, “Today I set before you the blessing and the curse, life and death.” he was speaking in a heightened and poetic way.
I was always under the impression that it was God who said this.—And no, it’s pretty literal, and effectively sums up the entire human experience on this earth eh? Good thing God is a better and more patient parent than me.
I would say that the resemblence is pretty strong. Some things run in family.
My parents married right after WWII. They met at a dance and married in the Catholic Church 3 months later. All the Church required was a 3 week notice. They were able to secure a gorgeous wedding dress, bridesmaids dresses, tuxes, limos, bouquets,a live band, and a banquet hall in that short time! That marriage lasted over 50 years until they died. My grandparents married in their early 20’s and late teens. They remained married until they died. One set raised 9 children, the other one raised 14! There was no welfare, no food stamps, no food banks. None came from money- had to work for every penny. When I asked my mother how they managed, she told me everyone in the town helped each other out. Family could also be counted on to help out.
Growing up, we played outside after school until the siren sounded at 6pm, which is when we all went home for dinner. It was a punishment to be confined to the inside of our houses! We rode bicycles without helmets and explored the neighborhood without parental supervision. We jumped rope and played hide and seek. In the summer, we walked to the park and town pool. Today, it is a shame to ride by exclusive neighborhoods with fancy swing sets in the backyard that are always empty because the kids are never outdoors. Car trips entail children in the back seat hooked up to headsets, iPhones, iPads, and video games. No one talks anymore- if they do converse, it is by text message.
Barbara, it seems almost unimaginable the changes which have occurred in this country in just the last generation. I remember dystopic fiction from the 80’s which paint a picture we’re actually seeing right here, right now. It’s now trite to comment on Orwellian resonances to current news, and works such as Animal Farm, Brave New World and 1984, far from being scare-tracks, completely define who we are in 2013. My question is: where do we find the social engineer behind this catastrophe, and how do we “reeducate” him or her or them?
How terribly ironic that the argument used to promote legal abortion—protecting women from the dangers of so-called “backstreet” abortions—has led to a “home abortion” option that presents the same potential dangers to a woman’s life. And that set of circumstances doesn’t even begin to address the life of the innocent baby. The country seems to lack not only reason but basic common sense.
On the net see: “ENDOWMENT for HUMAN DEVELOPMENT”, a non-religious medical site. Share this site with others..
By 8 weeks and 2 days - ” Touching the embryo elicits squinting, jaw movement, grasping motions, and toe pointing. “
By 9 weeks and 3 days - ” The fetus can also grasp an object, move the head forward and back, open and close the jaw, move the tongue, sigh, and stretch.
Nerve receptors in the face, the palms of the hands, and the soles of the feet can sense light touch.
In response to a light touch on the sole of the foot, the fetus will bend the hip and knee and may curl the toes.”
Not only is abortion murder, it is torture of the most innocent.
Dismembering and burning (saline solution) is torture.
Obama wants all of us to pay for the abortion drugs used by others.
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