The other day, I got six kids dressed, brushed, fed, and dropped off at their three different schools; cleared the table, threw some laundry in, pulled something dinnerish out of the freezer, and settled down for some frantic writing before a dentist appointment.
I had gotten maybe four words down when my daughter toddled over with a toddler problem—something like, “Mama, I bited my banana and now my banana is bited and now I need a new banana.”
So I stormed, “YES. Absolutely. Let me GET UP from my chair and fix your problem RIGHT NOW because it’s SO IMPORTANT that I stop working RIGHT THIS MINUTE.”
And she gave a happy little hop and said, “Fanks, Mama!”
Ouch. That laid me low pretty quick. She had every right to expect me to care for her, but instead I had spewed this dreadful sarcasm into the trusting little face of someone too innocent to realize I was upset.
I’m pretty sure I’ve had this same conversation with God. I know that God is good and merciful, I should praise and thank Him for His wondrous kindness, blah blah blah. But more often than not, when I get myself to say the words I’m supposed to say—well, they’re not so sincere. If you listen closely, my prayer goes, “YES. Absolutely. Let me THANK YOU for all the wonnnnnderful things in my life, which, as You can see, have made this world SO fabulous and SO blessed.”
And He says in all seriousness, “You are welcome.”
Or I say, “All right, fine, I’m SUPER sorry for the following sins, because clearly it would be COMPLETELY JUST for you to throw me into ETERNAL HELLFIRE for breaking these rules which are not even SLIGHTLY arbitrary or unreasonable.”
And He says, “I forgive you.”
Ouch.
I am never consciously sarcastic when I pray. But insincere? Absolutely. Either I’m keeping up a running monologue arguing against my own words, or I’m wasting time trying to work up the proper emotion, or I’m flaking out entirely. In short, my prayers stink, and I only pray because I have to. I got up to fix the baby’s banana problem not to express my wholehearted alliance with God’s will for my vocation, but because I wanted her to go away. And that’s how I pray.
But God accepts my prayers anyway, because God is innocent.
Let me explain. In a child, innocence is lovely but naïve: they believe everything they’re told because they don’t know any better. They’re inexperienced and undeveloped, and cannot grasp ugly things like sarcasm, cannot imagine parental weakness.
God is also innocent, but not because He is lacking anything. God’s innocence comes from the other extreme: His goodness is so complete that there is no room for anything foul or nasty. He is not deceived; He is not blinded. He simply admits only the durability of goodness, and treats evil and perversion like the worthless, pointless nothing that it is.
Children are innocent because they cannot comprehend evil. God is innocent because He sees evil for what it is: something to wash away and be done with. And this is why He accepts our lousy, lacking, insincere prayers, our grasping petitions, our grudging penitence, our half-baked praise, and our inattentive adoration. It’s not because we’ve deceived Him, or because He’s somehow pathetically grateful for the crumbs we throw His way.
No, our prayers are good because God is good: our prayers are acceptable because God is innocent. His all-encompassing innocence transforms our spiritual insincerity into something true and complete.
In our church basement, next to the bathroom, there is a pastel poster which quotes Corinthians 13 in flowery script:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud . . . it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres.
So I’m slouching there, hot and disgusted, trying to figure out why we even go to Mass when we spend most of our time out back, in the bathroom, or anywhere but in the pews. And I’ll admit to reading this poster and thinking, “Well, love is a sucker, then.”
But then I correct myself. No, I am a sucker. I’m the one foolish enough to mistake cynicism for knowledge—to think that the corruption I see in the world has any chance at all against the one true living God. Evil is strong, yes. We all have the choice to throw ourselves into the darkness and perversion of sin—eternally, if we like.
But we also have the choice to turn, turn, turn again to the light, to what is complete, to what is true—to what is innocent.
How? I’m going to start with my kids. Next time they ask me for something, I’m going to use those same words I used before: Yes. Let me get up and do this for you right this minute, because it’s important.
But darn it, this time I’m going to mean it.
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Love, love, LOVE this…thank you. As usual, what I needed to hear today.
Super post, Simcha. I wish their were a ‘like’ button here. Guess I’ll go hit it over at your other blog.
Exactly what I was needing to hear. Asking myself about this exact topic early this morning. Thank you.
Thank God for the innocence of children, and for this piece, Simcha. I know that kids do not understand or respond to cynicism, and this reminds us that it’s a negative and potentially hurtful device in any case.
Thank you. Needed to hear this today too.
This is great! I teach elementary school music, including kindergarten, and witness the innocence (and naivete!) of children every day. They are so precious. I really like your comparison and how it opens up a new aspect of God. Thanks for the post!
mrsclamforest.blogspot.com
Hi Simcha….you would have to bring this up today! Made me look into myself. Thanks. :)
Have you been eavesdropping for the past twenty or so years at my house? ::sigh::
This is the most brilliant thing I’ve read in weeks. Thank you.
I don’t know how you do it, but again you’ve hit the nail on the head. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Simcha, this is wonderful!
Two commands in the Bible from the allegedly innocent God.
1 Samuel 15:2-3 “This is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘I have decided to settle accounts with the nation of Amalek for opposing Israel when they came from Egypt. Now go and completely destroy the entire Amalekite nation—men, women, children, babies, cattle, sheep, camels, and donkeys.’”
And
Numbers 31:17-18 “Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women
children that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for
yourselves”.
I’m sure you’re a perfectly nice person, but don’t tell me a character in a book like the Bible that orders genocide and murder on a mass scale is innocent.
Mr. DeM
I am curious. Logically speaking as we finite human beings do not have all factors in judging if people deserve to die we should hesitate to judge God’s actions. What factors are you using to presume God’s lack of justice?
God gives life and therefore is free to take it away as He sees fit. This combined with the symbolism inherent in the Bible used for such matters, your lack of discernment in terms of moral law vs. Jewish expression of legal matters, and wrenching the text out of its original context, would suggest that you may need to consult actual scriptural studies in order to understand the texts you cite in their original cultural context.
Regards,
Colin Gormley
Thank you, my dear, as always. My daughter was up sick from 3-5 am and so was I and I’m sure I was thinking (me, again, Lord? Again?) while I prayed for her to feel better. Well, she has croup, still, but the Lord is still good.
What God reveals through little children. Makes me tear up, seriously. Great post as always!
Mr. DeM,
This blog has a good explanation: http://badcatholicblog.blogspot.com/2011/09/god-hates-gays.html
“The Old Law was not complete. It was a punishment; a necessity. It was given to the Jews after they returned to idolatry of the Golden Calf. It was a way to bring order, survival and rudimentary justice to a tiny nation of idolatrous, unorganized, unjust, petty, weak and evil men. The old commandment, “An eye for an eye” was not nice, but it can hardly be argued that it wasn’t fair. It was rudimentary justice. It could be equally rephrased as, “Just an eye for an eye; don’t kill the guy.”
To put it simply, the ancient world understood capital punishment as an answer to sin - sin such as homosexuality, theft and murder. This becomes clearer when you realize that much of the Law was orientated towards the Jewish people simply surviving - they could not afford to regard sex as mere pleasure or recreation, less they cease to reproduce and die out. Homosexuality leads to the death of the nation; it is thereby punishable by death. This, while rightfully outrageous in our post-Christ ears, made sense to an immoral nation fighting for survival.
These same fallen idolaters would not have understood, nor followed, the command to love sinner, hate the sin. This would take some time. And - oh, happiness! - the Old Law was fulfilled, growing to perfection until Christ said, “Alright, the world is ready. The punishment is over. The law and the commandments prepared you for this new commandment: Love.” And the world has - to a large extent - agreed to it. We could not have the mercy, forgiveness, and tolerance of the modern world without the strictness of the ancient world.
But this isn’t an unfathomable idea. Young children are likewise given harsh laws and few reasons. “If you steal, you’ll get spanked.” “If you curse, I’ll wash your mouth out with soap.” Why? Because it meets children at their level. They understand cause-and-effect, not the words, “Don’t curse or you’ll hurt your friend’s feelings.” That comes later. Apply that to the scale of humanity and you get an imperfect analogy to the work of God.”
Brilliant!!
Peter Kreeft put it well:
But is not God compassionate?
He is not compassionate to Moloch and Baal and Ashtaroth, and to Caananites who do their work, who “cause their children to walk through the fire.” Perhaps your God is—the God of your dreams, the God of your “religious preference” —but not the God revealed in the Bible.
But is not the God of the Bible revealed most fully and finally in the New Testament rather than the Old? In sweet and gentle Jesus rather than wrathful and warlike Jehovah?
The opposition is heretical: the old Gnostic-Manichaean-Marcionite heresy, as immortal as the demons who inspired it. For “I and the Father are one.” The opposition between nice Jesus and nasty Jehovah denies the very essence of Christianity: Christ’s identity as the Son of God. Let’s remember our theology and our biology: like Father, like Son.
But is not God a lover rather than a warrior?
No, God is a lover who is a warrior. The question fails to understand what love is, what the love that God is, is. Love is at war with hate, betrayal, selfishness, and all love’s enemies. Love fights. Ask any parent. Yuppie-love, like puppy-love, may be merely “compassion” (the fashionable word today), but father-love and mother-love are war.
In fact, every page of the Bible bristles with spears, from Genesis 3 through Revelation 20. The road from Paradise Lost to Paradise Regained is soaked in blood. At the very center of the story is a cross, a symbol of conflict if there ever was one. The theme of spiritual warfare is never absent in scripture, and never absent in the life and writings of a single saint. But it is never present in the religious education of any of my “Catholic” students at Boston College. Whenever I speak of it, they are stunned and silent, as if they have suddenly entered another world. They have. They have gone past the warm fuzzies, the fur coats of psychology-disguised-as-religion, into a world where they meet Christ the King, not Christ the Kitten.
http://www.ewtn.com/library/ISSUES/CULTURE.HTM
I am sure Shea or others will do a better job in the apologetics angle but from an exegetical perspective these are relatively easy to explain. The trouble is, even if you explain the context, the literary genre, the subtle difference betwe…en the half dozen Hebrew words clumsily translated as ‘kill/slay’ in English and other factors, we are still left with the same God at the end of the Bible in the NT. The God, that is, who defeats his enemies and consigns them to eternal punishment. If we understand THAT little humdinger then the preemptive judgement of some specific sinners is not really a big issue. People seem to confuse innocence with cute/cuddly pacifism.
Srose, I was going to post that link too! Fantastic call.
A friend posted this on Facebook, for which I’m grateful. I’m flabbergasted at how good it is! Someone else commented that this is brilliant. It is. I love the way you described your toddler’s little toddler problem and your response. Not to mention the self-knowledge you revealed. My son once noticed the same sort of innocence you described when he found out that his sweet grandparents just did not get sarcasm, which was his prevailing adolescent form of expression at the time. On a slightly different note, if your creative work is interrupted, God might be trying to tell you something. I had many events similar to what you described when trying to find time to be a writer and artist. I took my mother on her only real vacation the year before she died, and in the plane on the way to Hawaii I was trying to write my mandatory three pages a day per instructions in a book called The Artist’s Way. She wanted to talk about the view out the plane window. I realized that I should be there with her, and not be following my ambitions. Duty first, and all that. God bless!
Oh Simcha, that was a very, very, very good post. You really touched something in me, tugged at my heart strings.
Thank you.
What a great post.
Regarding children being unable to comprehend evil, and keeping in mind the fact that different children reach the age of reason at variable rates, about what point and in what manner did you begin to teach your children that they should not trust EVERYONE, especially strangers?
I have a 2 year old who has lived with us on a Catholic law school campus all his life, and, while I know its very important, I dread and have a hard time conveying the reality that he should call for Mom and Dad if a stranger ever picks him up or offers him something.
How did/do you bring the concept of the possibility of evil intentions in other people into your children’s lives? I want my son to be safe, but I also want him to be kind. Help!
I just started reading your blogs and love them. This one is no exception.
Thanks for your honesty and insight.
Thank you! This is the first time I have read your blog. It is just what I know God, in His infinite wisdom and innocence, wanted me to read this day!
Dear Simcha, Thank you for your humility and honesty. I have been following you for only a few months. It helps me so much to read your blog. Today is extra good because it makes me realize even more that we are struggling with many of the same things. The next time I feel selfish and want my 7 month old son to leave me alone, as he is with me all the time (really) I will remember this article and say a prayer for you. Well, here’s my chance…
Thank you so much. Another outstanding post, and one which I need to remember.
Lovely. Been there. Done that, all too often. Thanks for the reminder that it’ll take longer for my toddlers to “get” my sarcasm ... I’ll have to come up with something else ;) But seriously. Lovely. God bless you.
Yes. When we pray we ought to be aware of the subject of our prayer and not just be “mouthing” words.
What a grace filled moment! The innocence and love of a child can be so powerful. And the story was actually kind of funny as well.
I really enjoy your blog.
You got that right, Simcha!
God’s done (and still does!) the heavy lifting. We’re in the aftermath of His Victory, conducting mopping-up operations. And we find THAT difficult. But if God is FOR us, who can stand against us?
Thank you for thanking Him for us.
Wow, Simcha. Zou are on a roll. Almost brought me to tears. Your posts about YOU are so poignant. Wow. And thank you.
It is interesting the ways we reorient our perspectives. Some need a narrative of an external god to apologize to, or thank. Even as an agnostic leaning towards atheism I will espouse the merit though in pausing to be more sincere, more authentic, and above all eschew sarcasm.
isnt corinthians beautiful…and your story touched my heart…
Wonderful and honest thank you
Hi Simcha! Your piece is highly educative and wonderful. More power to your elbow!
Very well put! Thank you!
What a profession of faith! We all have incomplete, less-than-perfect faith, a need to be forgiven. Hammer, nail, on the head. Thanks for your insight, Simcha!
Roseanne,
It’s not as black and white as duty and ambition. We’re humans, and Catholics too. Maybe the very strong duty is to get the kids and food and house going on the day and then sit down and type four words. And then tend to the toddler. And then do it again the next day. God gifts and calls.
Oh Roseanne, that three page thing like to killed me—it was the get-it-done-first-thing-in-the-morning aspect of it that did me in. I started to feel guilty if I nursed a baby first! I gave up writing-as-religion then, and turned to my religion, instead. This doesn’t mean being down on writing and using God’s gifts—but that particular book was a real nuisance to me.
I had to print this. I want a hard copy because it reminds me that, to the pure of heart, everything is pure. A fact which harden hearts cannot comprehend.
It must be hard to raise kids knowing that evil lurks everywhere, and also that you must point them to the way of truth. Knowing that you will be the one who teaches them what innocence is not, you will be their first introduction to the evil world. Must be a very hard job to have that much of a burden.
Fantastic post Simcha! You are really enlightened when you write… How sad it is when we pour grown-up sarcasm on our children who are too good and innocent to see it for the ugly thing it is. Been there, done that…
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