The hairdresser at Supercuts always gasps when she gives my son his summer buzz cut, revealing a horrible maze of scars. He looks like a vet who’s encountered one too many IEDs—but in fact, his scars were won through nine years of terrifying encounters with such perilous items as dining room chairs, upholstered couches, wooden nightstands—and, one memorable Halloween, a treacherous sidewalk that leaped up without warning and attacked him for no reason at all.
I have to admit, though, he rarely gets hurt at playgrounds. This is because most of the local playgrounds are utterly pathetic. They look like the physical therapy unit at The Psychoneurotic Institute for the Very, VERY Nervous.
Most modern playgrounds do not have swings. One briefly sported a bizarre, enclosed see-saw of sorts (it didn’t actually go up or down; it performed a gingerly, embarrassing bouncing action), but this was soon replaced with some kind of low-grade balance mushrooms. Merry-go-rounds are out; concrete tunnels are out. Anything with chains, hinges, or unpredictable or full-range motion is out.
Many have updated, bowdlerized versions of activities formerly known as “fun”—everything is enclosed, padded, curved, and designed for limited motion. By gum, when we were little, centrifugal force and acceleration, momentum and gravity were our playthings! Today’s playground features look like fun, but don’t allow the kids to do anything but perch and wobble, demonstrating only the tamest and most obscure laws of physics.
I take heart from this New York Times story about a recent backlash against the hyper-safety of modern playgrounds. And I think they’re onto something that’s true for more than play: Most things that are worthwhile are often slightly dangerous, and can cause you pain as well as joy. The idea is not to avoid or neuter them, but to embrace them, and to learn from them.
In fact, if you go through the NYT playground article and substitute the word “sex” for the word “play,” and substitute “contraception” for “safety,” you’ll hear the same points that Jennifer Fulwiler made in her recent posts about NFP and contraception: first, that there are worse things than a little risk. Jen said:
[Catholic women] joked that that some of their children were more expected than others, and made passing comments about sometimes being surprised by seeing two lines on pregnancy tests. And here was the crazy part: None of this seemed to ruin their lives. In fact, they seemed pretty happy!
and the playground article says:
[F]alls are the common form of playground injury. But these rarely cause permanent damage, either physically or emotionally. While some psychologists — and many parents — have worried that a child who suffered a bad fall would develop a fear of heights, studies have shown the opposite pattern: A child who’s hurt in a fall before the age of 9 is less likely as a teenager to have a fear of heights.
and
Even if children do suffer fewer physical injuries — and the evidence for that is debatable — the critics say that these [ultra-safe] playgrounds may stunt emotional development, leaving children with anxieties and fears that are ultimately worse than a broken bone.
Jen points out that contraception is not as easy and failproof as it’s promoted to be, and has its own psychological and emotional pitfalls as well; and the playground article reports:
“There is no clear evidence that playground safety measures have lowered the average risk on playgrounds,” said David Ball, a professor of risk management at Middlesex University in London. He noted that the risk of some injuries, like long fractures of the arm, actually increased after the introduction of softer surfaces on playgrounds in Britain and Australia.
“This sounds counterintuitive, but it shouldn’t, because it is a common phenomenon,” Dr. Ball said. “If children and parents believe they are in an environment which is safer than it actually is, they will take more risks. An argument against softer surfacing is that children think it is safe, but because they don’t understand its properties, they overrate its performance.”
Think about how most modern couples view sex. “They don’t understand its properties” would be the understatement of the century.
We live in a fallen world, and the arena of human sexuality is one of places where the fallenness manifests itself most intensely. [The couple who gave up NFP] were right that NFP is hard; they were just wrong to think that contraception offers a solution.
Yep. Look for ultimate safety all the time, and you not only miss out on valuable experiences and essential pleasures, but you don’t even end up being all that safe. When people struggle with NFP or with contraception, what they’re really struggling with is the nature of human sexuality, with its mystery and messiness, its joy and its pain. That’s the system they have a problem with. Contraception doesn’t take the struggle away; it just disguises it with a dangerous illusion of safety.
Come to think of it, the Supercuts hairdresser who gasped at my son’s head scars also gasped when she heard I was pregnant with baby #9. And yet here we are, scars, babies, and all. We’ve had some scares and some injuries, but nobody’s died yet. And yes, we are happy.
Comments
Post a Comment
Once when we were on our way to our vacation, we stopped at a rest stop in the South someplace and lo and behold there was a wooden seesaw! Our kids had a blast as my husband and I described how much we always loved seesaws when we were kids, and then proceeded to relate all our various injuries from them—falling off, getting hit on the head, etc. Amazingly we somehow survived to reproduce!
I loved the tall, metal slide. Man, would we fly down that thing. And when it was really, really hot, you had to go down on your back with your legs pulled up so as not to scorch your legs, and then just at the right moment, put you feet down at the bottom so you wouldn’t hit your head on the end. Such a thrill! (pregnant with #9, also. Could there be a correlation?)
I have fond memories of my old Catholic school playground w/ its tall (hugely tall) metal slide, seesaws, merry-go-round, monkey bars…all constructed on asphalt!!! Yes, asphalt - not a shredded piece of tire or mulch bit in sight.
We played kick-ball and yes, (horrors) dodgeball on the adjoining church parking lot (also asphalt). Fridays was always boys vs. girls (sexist division and needless competition) and the cheering that would happen when the girls won!
This article made me realize once more what a treasure we have at our village community center—a real playground. Swings with long chains that can go so high you can kick the lower branches of a nearby oak tree; a wooden merry go round, and wooden see-saws. And a huge slide, which is unfortunately coated in rust and therefore not at all dangerous to do down, although the kids like running up and down on it. The recently added some “safe” equipment nearby, but no one over the age of six uses it. Maybe we can get it added to a historic registry in order to preserve it.
And hey, not for nothing, but when I was a kid, it’s not like we didn’t know how we could get hurt on the “dangerous” wooden and metal playgrounds. In fact, we were more careful (relatively speaking) on the old ones than the new ones, and the only injury I ever knew of came after the new ones were put in.
As a 24 year old who took a pregnancy test last week while praying that her ten month old doesn’t destroy the apartment during the all-too-long-two minute wait: and found two positive lines criss-crossing the screen, I just want to say THANK YOU, to you, to Jennifer, and to all those other Catholic moms online who support my family’s decision to welcome a new life, planned or unplanned, convenient or inconvenient. I really need it.
Yesterday I took my son to the splash pad, desperately looking around for any other family with children who might look like they were placed a little “too close” together. I didn’t see a single family unit that qualified, and it was a really hot day with plenty of kids taking advantage of the soberly safe water. Now, I could be misjudging, but from what I could see, each sister was spaced a quaint two years, at least, from her annoying younger brother, and the babies who meowed sweetly in the shade for their mothers all had siblings who were up and running around. And as I carried my son from one sprinkling water fountain to the next, I couldn’t help but be a little scared, feel a little weird and outcast-ish for the new baby growing in me. The world around me was telling me that the choice we had made was, if not wrong, at least imprudent and childish.
Don’t get me wrong: my husband and I are thrilled beyond belief about the child the size of a poppyseed growing in me. Heck, we already have names picked out. But I am only human, I am only young, and I’m still only learning and growing. So I guess I’m just really grateful to have online mentors (of sorts) like all of you to help me realize the joy that bursts through all the smokescreens of our modern anxiety, and the elation which shatters our contemporary throttle hold on life.
To “Some Would Say…”
Congratulations on both of your little ones. The best gift you could give your son is the new sibling he’ll get to spend his life with. It’s so much fun to have a sibling really close in age. As their parent, you’ll love that the age appropriateness of activities applies to them both at the same time. My next-younger sister and I are spaced like your two kids and memories of my childhood always include her right there beside me. Enjoy the adventure!
When I was in the upper elementary grades, I was transferred by the school district to a different elementary clear across town. While I loathed the bus ride, I loved the playground. All that asphalt, long swing sets, loads of little rocks on the sidelines that managed to get kicked onto the asphalt (and made skinned knees inevitable) but I now had Monkey Bars! This tubular steel marvel seemed impossibly high off the ground. I learned to sit on top of it right in the center, so I was facing one short side, put my feet under the thick side bar and hold them rigid, lean backwards so my whole flexible little body arched off the other side, and I would hang head and hands down, right over the asphalt. If I fell I’m sure I’d have broken something vital, like my neck. But that was half the fun - knowing what I did made the hapless playground monitor sweat puttyballs and mumble about how dangerous it was while watching me hang over the asphalt by only my feet. Plus the secret thrill of knowing I could get hurt, but didn’t (and the woozy feeling of blood going back into my head as I unbent and sat up, but still being so high off the ground feeling light headed for a minute)
There was a kind of thrill in that, but also a satisfaction in accomplishing something that appeared really dangerous and that few other girls tried to do. Maybe it was that kind of play that allowed me the courage much later to hear the Teaching of the Church on contraception and accept it, with the ‘dangerous’ possibility of and unplanned baby, watching my mother and mother in law sweat putty balls on my behalf and mumbling slights about the growing size of my family. I mean, what kind of danger is there in another birth, when you’ve hung upside down by your feet over asphalt six feet off the ground?
Also missing - the daring of the high dive!!
To some would say
My first two boys are spaced 18 months to the day. They are now 6 and 5 and are best friends. Their younger brother, just turned 3 and he wakes up in the morning and his first question is “where are my brothers?” I am so glad they are so close and wouldn’t change it for the world.
Congratulations!
Amen to both! I miss the real playgrounds that left happy memories and skinned knees, often on the same occasion.
Some would Say, Congratulations! It is a great blessing! Prayers.
I have family living in Amish country ... so I get to see the little Amish schools with their to-die-for playgrounds ... swings with long long chains, long long see-saws, at least one basketball hoop, lots of scraggly vacant land for running around (tag? dodgeball?) ... their theology may not be spiffy, but the Amish know what’s real.
To “Some Would Say” . . . I don’t know if you are checking these comments anymore , but congratulations on your new growing little one!! There ARE people out in this world who believe that babies close together are a good thing. :) I just had #6 in May, right before her “big” sister turned 14 months old. I have had my last 4 babies in under five years. There are definitely times when I feel alone in my vocation as a mother to a large family, but it’s all worth it in the end. :)
“The hairdresser at Supercuts always gasps when she gives my son his summer buzz cut”
Are there no barbers where you live?
also to the young mom pregnant and also with a 10 month old- My first 2 babies were 51 weeks apart! (and yes- I knew I could get pregnant when we conceived #2- I got my period at 10 weeks postpartum even though I was breastfeeding exclusively)—-thank God I had them so close because then I had medical issues- and now I am forty with ‘only’ 4 kids…“Make hay while the sun shines” :)
You know, I have thought the same things about playgrounds. I am in my 20s and am bored. to. death. with the playgrounds around here. I shouted for joy when I discovered there are SWINGS now at the park near our house. They finally took out the two foot baby slide that NO ONE used.
I have noticed the gradual disappearance of all the playground equiptment we used to love. I hope my son gets to experience some of it as he gets older! (And yes, my older brother once fell of the “eagle’s nest” -domed shaped monkey bars, remember those?- and had to go to the emergency room (this was during school). He was fine, just bruised his shoulder. Can you imagine how a parent would react now? They’d be sued. Ha, my dad was a lawyer and I’m sure the thought never crossed their minds, they probably just thought “kids being kids,” ya know?
At the young mom: Congrats :) You’ll be fine. And know there are PLENTY of people out there with children that close or closer in age. I have two friends with irish twins or almost irish twins and plenty more in the 18month apart range. (My kiddos will be nearly 2 1/2months apart (thanks to my child who nursed all.the.time lol, and that’s fine, but I wouldnt’ haven’t minded closer so perhaps they’d be even closer friends!
Wow. Come to PA, we totally have the old-school, unsafe playground equipment. We just have this rubber mat material or wood chips underneath instead of just dirt.
Our local city park still has a giant metal tube set in concrete so it won’t roll. That thing gets HOT. They also have a tall metal slide. It does have bars around the platform-a friend of ours said they were installed some 20 years ago after he took a fall of it.
To the young mom “Some would say…”, you are not alone and I love hearing stories like yours because then I know I’m not alone either. I am due with my 3rd on my first’s 3rd birthday, this January. My second is 9 mos. Life is crazy but great. Congratulations!
Good site that covers the “overprotection” of our kids these days:
http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/
I loved the old playgrounds and agree that we over-protect kids these days to the point where some young people are damaged by the over-protection.
I loved the long teeter totters and the metal merry go round that could be gotten going so fast that nobody dared jump off, and swings with thick wood seats on long chains where if you got hit it would be PAINFUL but we knew the safe zone and that it was our own fault if we ignored the facts!
good post! and the comments were as much fun.
You really think comparing your son’s childhood mishaps with a veteran being injured by an IED is funny! That is so classless. You ought to apologize.
I think the Holy Spirit gave Simcha a brilliant parallel here, between contraception and playgrounds. I pray for Kathleen Sebelius and others to open their hearts to such reasoning. As for the asphalt playgrounds, I am totally grateful they are nowhere to be found here in New York City. I remember children “cracking their heads open” all the time in the ‘80s. Much happier sending my kids to play on the rubber. God keep all our children safe in body and soul!
I got a concussion after flying too fast down one of those rickety metal slides. I think I was five or so. Ah, memories.
To “Some Would Say She Can’t Handle Herself”: our 5th child was born 15 days ago. My oldest turned 6 yesterday. #3 and #4 are 10.5 months apart. My older two are 13 months apart. Oh and my older two we adopted from Guatemala because, after nearly 2 years marriage and trying to conceive, we were told (at the age of 24 mind you) by the Cleveland Clinic that it was not probably that we would ever have our own. Meanwhile my wife was pregnant 29 of the last 40 months! Surprise!!!
Great article, but as for playgrounds, shouldn’t we discuss the cause of the safety-related paranoia? This nation is ridiculously freaked out about safety because of sleazy lawyers! Significant tort reform would allow us to go back to having some fun. It’s been many years in American since the statement “Use at your own risk” meant anything. The parks districts, schools, play structure manufacturers, and all other related parties are afraid of being sued. Hence, everything fun went out, and everything boring came in.
Catherine L, you are exactly right…..people are so scared of lawsuits :/ Look no further than http://www.overlawyered.com for depressing news on that front.
love this article! friend, reminiscing about rubbing the aluminum slide down with wax paper to slide faster…and it worked!
I can remember my best friend’s mom would give us sheets of waxed paper to wax the long metal slide so we could go faster. Man, that was fun!
Jen in OK
Wow, this is a fantastic point. Great analogy. Thanks for a great post!
Dear Simcha,
Your wrote, “This is because most of the local playgrounds are utterly pathetic. They look like the physical therapy unit at The Psychoneurotic Institute for the Very, VERY Nervous.” My kids are growing up in the same state as yours as we have spent a great deal of time playground hopping. Honestly, I do not know what you are talking about with your statement above.
In your travels check out the playgrounds in Merrimack (Twin Bridges), Derry (Don Ball park), Auburn, Manchester (Livingston park) Maybe that is not local to you but surely you get around alittle. The local schools have cool playgrounds with swings and climbing structures. I find it hard to believe that the east part of NH there is no awesome playgrounds. Never in my wildest dreams did anything like this exist when I was growing up. We had 4 things: swings, metal slide, merry-go-round and tetherball. I can’t think of any local park I know that does not have swings.
As for your analogy about safety. I think you could substitue homeschooling in there instead of contraception. There is a growing number of Catholics who are increasing trying to protect their kids from ever experiencing the world or being part of it in the name of holiness. Ever tightening their grip on who they hang out with or even have contact with. I have the greatest admiration for those who homeschool with balance but with this group in particular there is a growing trend towards “safety” at all costs.
PS Many towns also have skate parks which I think are pretty cool as well. That sport certainly involves risk taking. Usually helmets are required—need to protect those little heads!!! I know you mentioned you are from NH just wasn’t sure what part and why their playgrounds are so troubled
Maria, I agree 1 billion %. Such a remark is totally offensive. I won’t read the rest of the article until that is removed and an apology is made.
That is, the maria @ 5:51 pm.
“You really think comparing your son’s childhood mishaps with a veteran being injured by an IED is funny! That is so classless. You ought to apologize.”
Actually, Simcha didn’t compare her son’s child-like adventures to the experiences of a veteran; she compared the LOOK of his scars to those of someone who has been through horrible dangers. Why is that offensive???
After the car accident, her body looked like that of a woman who ran into one too many serial rapists. Hahaha.
We had “old style” playgrounds with swings and a merry-go-round and the dome style monkey bars in Alabama when my children were small because our property taxes were so low. They couldn’t afford to build municipal playgrounds like some of you are describing. Enjoy the fancy playgrounds - you are paying for them!
Love your post here. Then again, I love all your posts!
Good to be happy.
I remember the metal “maypole” that my elementary school had…it was taken down one summer, and the story was that a kid had flown off and sustained a serious head injury. We didn’t miss the maypole too much; we still had the huge jungle gym and the merry go rounds.
I took my kids to visit my old school playground a while back and all the old stuff was gone…the asphalt was still there, but there was no play equipment on it at all. Some of the slides were still there, at least the ones that were on the grass. It was kind of depressing, and I kept pointing at the blank spaces on the blacktop and telling my kids, ‘And that’s where the jungle gym was, the one we pretended was the Millenium Falcon…”
We do have one of those big long slides at a park near us, though—and yes, everyone brings waxed paper, to be sure.
I’m stunned at how many people seem to be missing the point here. The ‘safety’ of contraception—or unexamined nfp, I would add—keeps us from knowing who we are in relation to ourselves, others, the world, and God. Can we go a bit deeper than ‘the slide at my childhood playground was awesome/too dangerous’?
And @ ‘palygrounds’(sic)—if you want to give an insider’s guide to the wonders of NH playgrounds or think the piece *should* have been about the limitations of homeschooling, maybe you should get your own blog.
Key word: “yet” !!! give thanks and credit to hyper-vigilant guardian angels, and keep them in your prayers! And let the fun and scars continue!
My little brother broke his arm on a jungle gym when he was four and it was such a bad break he needed surgery. But do you think my parents forbid him from playgrounds after that? Of course not. And did they sue the school? Why would they? It’s normal for kids to get hurt. He survived, and all that remains is a few little scars. I’m not going to be a super cautious mom, you can’t protect them from everything forever!
I was greatly impressed on the post you have written. This is really a good site with great information along with excellent post for all to view on this site.The information present here is helpful for the readers. Overall wonderful site. I’ll come back to this blog for sure!
playground equipment
Post a Comment
By submitting this form, you give The National Catholic Register permission to publish this comment. Comments will be published at our discretion, and may be edited for clarity and length. For best formatting, please limit your response to one paragraph and don't hit "enter" to force line breaks.