LOVE this!!! I agree with the variety and pray approach. I know now how against common wisdom this is, but at fourteen I saw Schindler’s List with my mother in the theater. My mother was of the belief she could guide and not shield me (a very good parenting lesson). It opened up a huge dialogue between us about morality, the atrocities of humanity and even sainthood. And I look at the friends of mine (grown women) who swoon about the books and the movie when they offer to loan me copies and smile and say, “No thanks” while quietly thinking, I would rather gouge my eyes out with dull fingernails.

Great column!  I think another reason this is the right policy (not fanatically censoring a kid’s reading) is that, as a rule, truth shines through in literature.  The storyteller is far more convincing when he follows what’s real than when he promotes his own dumb ideas.  I know I tended to retain the better parts of the children’s literature I read and leave behind the garbage.  E.g., Michael O’Brien recommends against letting kids read Madeleine L’Engle because of, among other things, a new-agey conversation where Christ is placed on a level with Buddha and Gandhi.  I loved those books, but I was fully aware that conversation was silly and agenda-driven.  What I took away and internalized from L’Engle was the idea that evil is non-being and that being itself is good - leaving me fully convinced of this long before I read or heard of Aquinas or Augustine.  I sure wouldn’t have gotten that from the kind of sanitized, wholesome kiddie-lit O’Brien would have preferred me to be reading.

Very good!
These days I’m so sick and tired of that Twilight crap, and I expected you’ll write something about it.
I liked this one, EE doesn’t measure words :-))
http://www.elizabethesther.com/2009/11/why-twilight-is-a-misogynistic-piece-of-hardboiled-crapola.html

I like this post. I read Wuthering Heights as an adult and hated it. But I think there is an important point you don’t seem to make. Some books can be very good books without being appropriate for teenagers. I enjoyed the Harry Potter books and, while I laugh at the films, I enjoyed the Twilight books. But I don’t think they necessarily should be read by teenagers. Wuthering Heights is considered a classic of literature but it is another one I’d hold off on until they are adults.

P.S. - I fully respect people not liking the Twilight books, but I really wish people would state the movies if they are talking about the movies or state they have read the books if they are talking about the books. Personally I found the theology in the books quite fascinating.

What turned me off to Twilight was the grown women I knew who absolutely swooned over it. I couldn’t help but think that it was a desperate day when I found myself mooning over a teenager’s romance.

I’ve read everything my kids read so far. I hate some of it, but I allow it so that we can chat and I can ask guided questions to help them think critically. Don’t get me wrong, they should be able to read for just the utter joy of it, but I also want them to realize that we aren’t supposed to accept all that entertains us as good.

Katherine, I have to admit that I have no intention of reading the Twilight books or watching the movies, because I haven’t heard anyone at all say anything good about either of them.  But since you make the distinction, I’m genuinely curious:  do they seem like good books to you?  If so, how? I don’t mean to sound snotty - I’m just curious, and lazy.

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I’ll agree with the point that some books are good but not appropriate for teenagers (but that still leaves the question of how to tell which is which:  some people could read Wuthering Heights and enjoy the story without suffering any harm whatsoever); but isn’t it so that the Twilight books are overtly aimed at a teenage girl audience?

Simcha, my primary objection to the books has nothing to do with their content (which I do not think is useful at all and quite horrible to girls and women) but with their writing. Did an editor LOOK AT THEM before publishing that stuff? I read them because I wanted to know about what everyone was talking, and they were as bad as I had heard. Not bad in an entertaining way, like soap operas, but bad in an embarrassing way, because these books are not supposed to be hilariously awful. I haven’t seen the movies and do not intend to do so.

Would anyone else agree to adding Brideshead Revisted to the list? I have friends and family members who love it as an epic Catholic novel, but I read it in high school and wasn’t able to stomach some of the immorality (e.g. Charles and Julia leaving Charles’s wife and children in the dust). I know there are wonderful themes that come out of the book, but sheesh, you have to go through a lot to get there.

@Simcha

Yes, Twilight is aimed at teen girls. Another unfortunate aspect of those books is that Edward and Bella’s relationship is abusive, and they are clearly co-dependent on each other emotionally. Nothing about the way they relate to each other ishealthy. I’ve read all four books, and I don’t recommend them.

@Meg:  Right.  For better or worse, I’m afraid I feel just as strongly about developing my kids’ literary sense as I do about developing their consciences.

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@Cara:  I still have a hard time with Brideshead Revisited. I would say that it might be suitable for teenagers if there is a wise adult to guide them through the subtleties of it, but I can remember being an incredibly arrogant student and totally scoffing at my teachers’ interpretations of books.  Oh dear, oh dear.

Don’t hate the books unless you’ve read them.  There is a lot of stuff going on between the lines, and a fascinating religious theology there that has spawned a whole (serious) academic discourse on the place of Twilight in the Gothic canon.  I agree that they probably aren’t healthy for teenage girls, but there is worse.

The popularity of Twilight doesn’t surprise me a by these days.  Twilight is porn for girls, plain and simple.  Bella is barely described in the novels, and the author has stated this was to make it easier for the reader to identify with her.  Her flaw is lack of self knowledge.  Everything about the character seems designed for young girls to insert themselves as Bella into the story.
It’s possible this is just the result of bad writing… but the result, whatever the authors intentions, are pornography.

Simcha, since the protagonist is a teen girl, it is possible it is aimed at a teenage audience, but by that standard so is Harry Potter. Personally, I enjoyed the books, but I thought they were more appropriate for adults. I’d say the same for the Harry Potter series. Both can be dark and both can deal with some pretty adult themes. I know the movies have been aimed specifically at teenage audiences and it has made for some pretty crappy films. I think, had they taken the films in a completely different direction, they could have been quite interesting.

I’ve seen how some people react to the Twilight series ... the “Twilight Moms” and the like. It is so sad and pathetic. And certainly, some people take the whole cult-vampire thing in completely wrong directions. That is one reason I would say they are not for teenagers. These books are for people who are already grounded in their faith and who they are and are not going to dictate their beliefs or identity by a science fiction novel series.

Personally, I don’t think they are great books. I don’t expect them to be called classics in 50 years, but I did enjoy reading them. The romance is touching and the story fun. Since I got my M.A. in theology, I found the theology particularly fascinating. In some vampire lore, victims had no choice about being bitten and thence being damned. It wasn’t a matter of their choosing to become a vampire. It happened without their free will. Now, as Catholic theology goes, we believe God gave us free will to either choose Him or reject Him. So the idea that God would permit anyone to be condemned against their own choices is problematic. The Twilight Series actually applies theology to the vampire lore by questioning if a vampire, bitten against their will, could still make choices (such as not harming people or consuming human blood but living off animal blood) in the hope of salvation. One vampire in the series, Carlyle, was actually the son of a preacher and was bitten while hunting down a vampire. He tried to “starve” himself when he became a vampire he was so repulsed by what he had become but, of course, being “undead” it didn’t work. He kept his thirst at bay with animals and studied medicine to help people. He keeps a large wooden cross in his house so he never forgets who he was and what he believes and hopes in. I found it quite interesting.

I think the books are enjoyable but shouldn’t be anyone’s bible. The fact that some people react to them the way they do speaks volumes, to me anyway, more about how lacking religion is in their own lives that they are filling so much of themselves with a science fiction series. In part, I think, what they may be latching on to though, is some of the traits that Edward portrays in the books. He is kind of like a super hero in saving the girl, watching over her, protecting her, willing to do anything for her good….I think they are seeking Christ and taking recourse in a poor substitute, but my degree was in theology, not psychology. :)

From about 4th grade on I read mainly adult historical romance novels. These ruined me for life because I expected to find grow up and get married to a man with a conscience. Was I ever disappointed when I discovered they don’t exist. Not like the women created fiction characters anyway.

I read Wuthering Heights and Brideshead Revisited in college; hated the former and loved the latter. Somehow, I don’t remember any of the lectures on Bronte but the Waugh ones seemed memorable. And this was 1995 and several children ago, so my brain probably looks more like swiss cheese than it did during my university days.

I haven’t read the Twilight books; not my idea of relaxation or indulgence. Give me Percy Jackson any day.

I had the misfortune of having a friend (a guy, like me) who recommended Twilight to me heartily a few years back.  I picked up the first book, read it, and pretty much gagged.  I skimmed through the rest of them just to make sure that I knew they were all trash, watched the first film to be doubly sure, and then proceeded to clean out my mind with a good dose of David Weber.

My biggest problem with those books - aside from the atrocious writing - is the way that they portray relationships.  As a previous commenter pointed out, both Edward and Bella are completely and utterly dependent on each other emotionally - there is no prudential aspect to their relationship.  Everything is based on emotion and feelings, something which I find to be dangerous in a world like our own.  Not only that, but the whole question of whether vampires have souls, and thus Bella chooses to lose her soul and become a vampire (I won’t go into it) is troublesome as well.  In a nutshell, it IS emotional porn for girls (and guys, to be honest), in that they long for a sweepingly emotional romance and get it - and then some - from Twilight.  Relationships should always be tempered by reason and prudence - pure love (or infatuation) can only do so much, and these books only serve to reinforce the teenaged perspective on love.

In my mind, the ideal romantic novel is something like Pride and Prejudice or Jane Eyre.  Now, I’ll admit I am a 19-year old guy, but those stories are WONDERFUL, and in my mind are the epitome of good romance.  They’re not at all about feelings and emotion or sweeping infatuation - they are about the slow, dawning realization of true, mutual love, tempered by prudence and morality.  I especially love the latter part of that, particularly in the case of Jane Eyre; morality is so little seen these days that I have to go all the way back to the old days to find the good stuff.  Great stories, with wonderful and meaningful themes.  I can’t say the same for Twilight.

My two cents, anyway.  I only post a rant like this because my father has disgracefully caught the Twilight bug (via the movies) and will NOT stop talking about them; I may go crazy trying to prevent myself from duct taping his mouth shut.

Does being a responsible parent really mean that you have to read everything before they do?  Does it mean that you can let them read something “wrong” and then talk with them about what was good/bad in the book afterwards?  I don’t know, but one thing’s for sure: parenting is never about a light work load.

Someone loaned me a copy of the first Twilight book. I have to agree with Meg on the writing style. I couldn’t get past the first 10 pages. Bella was easily the most irritatingly written character whom I have encountered in a book in, oh, I don’t know how long. I found Cathy Earnshaw pretty reprehensible but I still enjoyed Wuthering Heights, so I’m blaming the literary style in Twilight for my inability to finish it. I do think you’re absolutely right about the usefulness of fiction depending on the reader. I first read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn as a college freshman. I remember the scene that you described, and what I took from it was that perhaps if Katie didn’t have that opinion, then maybe she wouldn’t have chased down the handsome but weak young beau of her best friend, thus losing said best friend and the opportunity to raise a family with a man who truly loved and cherished her and would take care of her. Francie was stronger and made better choices.

I liked your column.  I was always a voracious reader even as a kid.  I remember reading “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn” (I think this book was recommended on a reading list when I was in high school) but guess I skimmed over the part you were talking about, so we’re all different.  Also read “Gone with the Wind” (because it was banned) when I was 13 but didn’t understand half of that either!

Our daughter also read a lot of things but mostly science fiction.  I remember reading Stephen King’s epic novel “The Stand”.  She also was reading this when she was about 16.  Her English teacher asked her if her mother knew she was reading it, and she told her that I had given it to her!  I thought the teacher would faint and I’d probably be getting a call from the school, but I didn’t.  Later, I learned this teacher was writing Harlequin Romance novels on the side!

I read the books. Not because I thought they’d be great literature, but because I wanted to see what the hullabaloo was. Eh. Four books, right? The basic story line was fine; however, there was far too much gratuitous “stuff” in them. I agree it’s akin to porn. Ugh. NOT something I’d want my child or teen reading. My daughter is currently 13 years old and has NO interest, thankfully. I typically do not BAN books. As an English major, I proudly wore my “I read banned books” tee-shirt in college. But I do guide the children toward books worth reading. There are so many wonderful books out there, and life is so short! Back to the original post, though….My opinion is, the books should have been maybe two volumes, tops. Far too much extra, unnecessary detail. Too much heaving breast, build up of the supposed chastity theme. Even the author herself admits it is full of her own LDS theology, a flawed philosophy at best. I read the books one by one, and quickly disposed of them. I did not want them in my house. I saw the first movie and was unimpressed. I won’t bother seeing any more of them, especially now that my daughter is old enough to wonder WHY I’d be going. I am setting an example. I have explained that some books are like junk food. Might taste pretty good, but are NOT good for us. And really, if we’re working toward holiness, there’s more than enough temptation out there, so why read and view something obviously full of flaws (and occasions of near sin, if not actual sin)? Yuck! That said, we did love the HP books. We love LOTR. We have read a lot of other fantasy books and stories, and I have NO issue with them. Our beloved (now deceased) priest in Edmond, OK was a HUGE HP fan, and even rented out the local theater when the first movie came out. Gotta love that! And give that poor author a break; her parents obviously wanted a STEPHEN, and had her….Again, that flawed theology where girls are not as good as boys. Sad.

Thank you for posting this.  I’m not a parent, but I think these are great ideas for both kids and their parents.

In high school I read Bram Stoker’s Dracula.  I don’t remember much about it, but was left with the impression of evil.  I do know that after having read it, twenty years later I still am horrified at the idea of romanticizing vampires.  I think I need to reread Dracula, but I would rather my children recognize evil for what it is than to find evil romantic.

I read the books and saw the movies… however, my sole purpose was so that I could call them crap… with proof.  I find it sickening that middle aged women are acting like prepubescent 13 year olds over the actors in the films.  That said, I will say that I recognized a presence with me in the room as I read the first book—and not a good one. I am a firm believer in demonic activity within the world we live in, and I truly, completely believe that there is a real presence of lust and seduction that accompanies each of these books, and that “silly women” are captivated by it (2 Timothy 3:6-7), even within the Body of Christ. It’s the only explanation that I have for the frenzy that has occurred surrounding these mediocre books and mediocre actors/actresses.

From a purely book-worm perspective, the first book is a decent page turner, but by the time I got to the last book, I was finding them tedious to read and quite boring. I really was ready to “gouge my eyes out with dull fingernails” by the end. I had to force myself to finish the series (yawn).

As for the movies, any book-to-screen adaptation is bound to disappoint on some level because they have to cram so much into such a short amount of time. I don’t think these movies are any exception to that rule, and starting out with mediocre material doesn’t help the situation. Besides the fact that Kristen Stewart has about as much acting ability as a block of wood…

Read the first book but after my daughter.  I was at the hospital with another child and found it as palatable as the food served.  Thankfully, my daughter saw through it for what it was, a harliquin romance with fangs, or put another way, some day my prince of darkness will come…

Agree, the only option is variety until Simcha starts penning coming of age novels.

I realize that defending Twilight is not going to work. So, should one of your girls accidentally read and not be horrified by Twilight you may wish to remember that just as you can get bad ideas about love from good literature you can get some good ideas from teen vampire books.
@Babs - I find your comment so odd. There is a very small 41 year old American middle class woman section at my library so I read fiction about characters from all ages and cultures. And while I usually am arrogant about the writing, I do my best to not be arrogant when regarding the characters. This I think is why I overcame my aversion to the writing of Twilight. My fascination with the characters and their story kept me reading.

The books….I tried to read them.  I have never read so MANY words to describe so little.  I thought Rowling had a problem with prolixity, but she has nothing on Meyers. The fact that these are poorly crafted works are reason enough to avoid them for me. 

Great advice on variety. I have a few very avid readers, and keeping them in age appropriate yet challenging literature is always a challenge.

the tone of so many of the comments here…of the blogger…interesting..first and probably last time I clic on one of these blogs. If one raises their children in the faith, they grow up strong and should have the maturity to know what to take from fictional stories. ...and can’t believe the comments about it being like porn..really? wow.

I found the teenage years to be the ideal years for reading great novels such as those by the Bronte sisters, Dickens, Twain, Thackeray, Trollope, Austen, and Hardy. I had time as a teenager to relish the old-fashioned language and style, and to finish long books. It wasn’t so easy after I started working and had kids! It’s my impression that with the constant availability of TV shows, movies and video games, kids nowadays don’t choose to read the way I did.

Bearing in mind that a 14-year-old is only four years away from college libraries and free access to everything on the internet, I believe Simcha is absolutely right to focus on variety and the development of critical thinking abilities in teenagers. But I think that the latter begins far before the teenage years when you read selected books to your children, watch TV with them and take them to movies, to expand their horizons under your guidance.

Simcha,or anyone else for that matter, what is the UIBSTS system?

Oh its not PORN, for pete’s sake. It’s lousy, moony teen fic. I read the first one bc of the hype and rolled by eyes about 90% of the time. If you want vampire fic that’s actual porn, go to Anne Rice. That’s where you ought to watch out.

M.E., you didn’t think the books were prurient? See, I read whatever I wanted as a kid. My parents were older, very traditional, and had no idea what we being written for kids. I read Judy Blume, Norma Klein, books all full of sex, teens, and other things no teen should be reading! So I have really learned to provide a HUGE variety of books for my children, making sure they are actually good books. Not cleaned up, boring books, but books full of great stories, excellent writing, adventures, etc. I honestly felt uncomfortable reading the Meyer books. I realized that they were supposed to arouse certain feelings. I found that disturbing. Maybe that’s sharing too much, but honestly, it’s not like I’m unfamiliar with those feelings (having six children, and a history before coming into the Church). I just think it’s playing with fire to allow young people to read books about dysfunctional relationships. I agree, character development of Bella is lacking. She has no confidence, and for whatever reason, current culture seems to *like* that. Teen girls are supposed to “get it.” Well, I’d prefer my daughter (and sons) to have strong faith, character, and to recognize when something is just plain “wrong.”

I grew up going to Mass every Sunday and I’d say I was raised pretty religious, although looking at how others live, some might say I was heathen. :-/ I read all sorts of crazy stuff (VC Andrews in 4th grade—hello older friend who stole her mom’s copy—then I read it in secret) and good stuff too.

Did I do drugs? Have promiscuous s*x? Drop out of school? No, no, no. I graduated in the top 10% of my HS class, college with honors, and am a good person.

I’m glad my parents gave me free reign on my reading materials. I think what kids read has to be supervised by the parents, but not strictly forbidden, because every kid is different. Books and music weren’t going to make me try drugs or commit crime; the fear of arrest and my parents’ utter disapproval was enough to keep me away from them!

I didn’t read Brideshead until I was an adult so I was able to understand that the immorality of the relationships between Sebastian and Charles and between Charles and Julia was the point…that all of them underwent radical conversions (even the agnostic Charles) and Sebastian and Julia were willing to sacrifice for the sake of real love.  When I was in my 20s, I’d have been one of those idiots who think Lady Marchmain is a monster, but now, she is one of my favorite heroines of literature.  Perfect example of how some books should only be read by those who have outgrown their idiocy.

Well said Simcha. I’m a librarian at a parochial K-8, I cannot in good conscience select books that only send a wholesome Catholic message. Students (especially after 5th grade) crave books about: war; romance; and familial conflict. I try to give my students credit to be able to navigate material that displays less than stellar morality, great literature inspires great thoughtful conversation and conversion! Notice I said, literature, we do not carry the Twilight series.
This fall I lead an all girls reading group of two Jane Austin books, Sense & Sensibility and Pride & Prejudice. As an adult I was bothered by how much emphasis was placed on the monetary value men and women when they were considered as marriage prospects. Something I never picked up on as a love sick teenager…

Porn is porn.  Twilight is not porn.
One could argue, though, that reading too many books like Twilight sets one up neatly for the flattened, fantasy-driven world of sensation that is porn.

@used to post: My thoughts exactly! When those books first came out, long before the damn movies, my 2 oldest girls were 14 & 16 and they managed to borrow a copy from a friend. They didn’t ask me or mother, but when I saw my oldest devouring the book in a single day I was worried, (she had been developing an interest with occult, vampires, etc). I did my usual interrogation and they assured me it was fine. No sexual immorality, no demonism, etc. In fact they assured me that the author was a Christian and devoted mother, and after I researched Ms. Meyers I was satisfied with what I found. My wife assured me that I was worried, as usual about nothing. The book was a far cry from what my oldest was already drawn too and for me a relief as well.  It was a losing battled as it all played out but you chose your battles, right?

I have always tried to encourage my kids to take out one non-fiction book for every fiction book they check out of the library.  I guess I’m hoping they’d learn something and find a hobby or interest and rely a little bit less on fictional stories for entertainment.  I love reading and I think children can develop a love of good books (they’ll learn to distinguish good writing when they read it) when it’s something they begin when they’re young.

I “banned” the Twilight series after my oldest daughter read the first book and said it was “stupid, and poor writing”.  However, that did not stop my younger daughter from reading the first book at my neighbor’s house (Catholic) where she was babysitting.  She wanted to check out the rest of the books but so far as I know, she hasn’t.  I have a question - I was thinking about getting a kindle for the younger one (she is 16 now) but this discussion has made me realize that this would open up a vast selection of books that she could read that I might never know about.  I know some of them are “free”.  Anybody come up against this issue?    Also, I checked out “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn” for this younger daughter after it was recommended on a Catholic site - maybe this one!  I had never read it.  For the mom who can keep up with everything her children is reading - kudos to you.  My oldest (senior in high school) is reading, “Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man” by Joyce for her senior English class in public school.  I haven’t read most of the books that she has had to read in high school.  I would need to spend most of my day reading to keep up with this.

I agree… the key is variety and prayer… and discussion!
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as I read the first of this post, I thought back to my own mother’s approach to my reading as a child.  (I don’t have children so my experience is with my own adolescence.)  I read almost anything I could get my hands on and it seems my mom found that to be good.  I read comic books and she HATED that! Until she realized that whatever I was reading, I was reading and that was important.
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Then in high school, I read the Flowers In the Attic Series… and to my knowledge she didn’t even blink.  Maybe she was picking those copies up- and forming opinioins-  when I was out of the house but I doubt it.  I appreciate that she allowed me to make my own decisions.  With Flowers in the Attic… as well as every Judy Blume Book (Forever) .... and even “Just like Ice Cream” (in which a young teen starts a sexual relationship completely devoid of emotion or attachment) —I remember assigning my own morality to the characters…  that even though the characters were engaging in immoral behavior, I knew what they were doing was wrong. I decided that they were slutty, or sinful or what have you.  I knew that I would not do what the characters did.  (and I didn’t)
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Looking back, it would have been nice to have those discussions with my mom - but she wasn’t that kind of mom.  She read romance novels one after the other…. and still does!!! and I find them to be repugnant, immature and damaging to marriages. (meanwhile my dad had his own bedroom across the house from mom)
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But, as a teenager… those rare discussions were with my sister (8 years my senior) who was single and pregnant at 21…  and she gave me the advice I followed.
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I digress… but the point being I was left to make my own decisions and discernment… and it turned out pretty well.  (of course I had the influence of 12 of Catholic School education to base and form my thoughts upon.)  Maybe mom thought that sending me to Catholic School was taking care of the job?

I read the Twilight books on the recommendation of a friend—she wanted to be able to discuss them together—and enjoyed them for what they were worth: pure fluff with a lot of drivel. :)
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The first flaw in the story is that Bella never GROWS throughout the 4 books.  Also, her relationship with Edward is extremely unhealthy in so many ways: 1) when he leaves, she goes comatose for 4 months, 2) when she comes out of that, she takes on a risky, no-cares-at-all lifestyle in order to feel close to him, 3) and she wants to be with Edward to the point of losing her soul.  Along the way, she doesn’t care who she hurts (i.e., Jacob) as long as she gets her way.
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The second flaw is that once Bella gets what she wants—marries Edward, becomes a vampire, has a beautiful child—there are no consequences.  Although she loses touch with her mother, she didn’t really care about that.  But everyone that mattered to her (Jacob, her father) gets neatly wrapped into her new future with no repercussions at all.  This is highly unrealistic and bothered me because it will give so many immature people the wrong idea about the commitment and sacrifice often required of love.
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My last objection is from a literary standpoint.  Meyers had been building up to a HUGE climactic confrontation from the second book onward, but when the time came, it’s like she chickened out.  Bella’s power suddenly stretches much further than it was ever able to before and dramatically saves everybody, and the “big fight” we’d been fearfully anticipating boils down to everybody talking and then walking away.  It sucked.  But, I chalked it up to Meyers being a newbie at writing, and forgave her (sorta) for such a lame ending.
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That being said, there were some things I enjoyed about the books.  The interesting take on vampires, Bella’s dad, Edward’s attempts to be mature and gentlemanly, the vampire-werewolf relationship, etc.  There was some interesting theology and a few bits of wisdom to ponder.  I don’t regret reading the books, but I would definitely be cautious about a young reader approaching the books alone.  Either have them wait until they’re older, or be prepared to discuss the books in depth with them.

Stephanie - do reread Bram Stoker’s Dracula, but be sure it isn’t the novelization of the Oldman/Ryder/Hopkins movie, which does romanticize the interplay between Mina and Dracula.  (Though it is amusing to have an actor named Oldman playing Dracula.  Just saying.)

The original novel does not romanticize Dracula.  He is a force of evil to be resisted and defeated, which they do, with Mina trying to assist the group in any way she can the entire time (and though they do find that Dracula trying to use her knowledge during those hypnotic trances to deceive or escape them, it is pretty clear that she is not trying to help him).

I have to disagree with your attitude about Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight Series. Bella wants to have premarital sex, but Edward wants to wait until they’re married. He praises the virtues of abstinance, and how important it is to wait! Once they’re married, and on their Honeymoon, it talks about how nervous Bella is about sex, but does NOT go into the details of the actual act itself! Stephanie was very sure not to turn this love story into porn! When Bella finds out that she is pregnant, Edward wants her to have an abortion, but this time, it is Bella who refuses! Once the “baby” arrives, Edward understands that an abortion would have been a terrible mistake! I did however have an issue with TS Eclipse, because it seemed that Edward was getting a little too controlling, but Bella put a stop to that real quick! All in all, I think that it’s a great read (MUCH better than the books I was required to read in HS. I thought that Wuthering Heights and A Brave New World were distasteful and not appropiate for high school kids!) and gives parents and children a great outlet to open up wit each other and talk about the importance of abstinance and the importancy of being pro life.

OK here’s the thing.  Not everyone can do this of course, but since before I even had kids (but hoped some day to have some), I have been steadily buying all kinds of GOOD fiction (and non fiction) at all reading levels.  I try to buy at least a book a month.

Now I have a pretty sizable library of books that I KNOW are well-written and at least, if not completely wholesome, I am aware of how/where they are not.  So now, as my kids get older, I can keep them with good book after good book in their hands.  I can talk with them about the right/wrong in book X,Y,Z.  My hope is that if they ever pick up some other “crappy” book, they will have less of an interest because they already appreciate good lit and know right from wrong.  Time will tell. 

I just wish there were MORE good, interesting, well-written books for kids and teens that at least had a message that was not anti-Church teaching.  My kids will have ample time and opportunity to see and learn about the evil in the world, but meanwhile I want them to have as much grounding in good as possible.

@Susie:In wondering whether to get your daughter a Kindle, I think you should. If you’re worried that she will read things you don’t know about, that’s a legitimate feeling. But not something you can control, your necessarily something you should. If my mom would have banned books from me, a 16-year-old, I would’ve reacted like most teenagers - rebelled and then not gone to my mom about the content.

If you follow Simcha’s concluding advice and pray and continue to cultivate a relationship with he, she’ll be open about discussing those free Kindle books she’s selected on her own. It’s like giving her the keys to the car: it’s a rite of passage that can be handled responsibly, and shows your daughter you’re entrusting her with certain freedoms and helping her develop her own inner discernment, which she’ll need as an adult 9which she’s not so far away from).

I read the first Twilight book just to see what the fuss was about. Aside from the terrible writing and the “Mary Sue” nature of the main character (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue ), it lost me when I found out that Edward sneaks into Bella’s room every night, to *watch her all night as she sleeps.* Excuse me?! That’s not romance, that’s criminal stalking.

As former homeschoolers, we’ve inculcated that non-conformist snobbery so well that, when my daughter was a freshman in high school, she refused to read them on principle simply because everyone else WAS reading them.  Later, she grudgingly agreed with a friend to read one just so she would have the facts when she argued that the books were stupid.  Parents who forbid their teens to read these, but need help building healthy contempt for Twilight, might want to try the “blogging Twilight” section on Sparknotes   http://community.sparknotes.com/2009/05/06/the-twilight-experience There, a male writer just give a day by day summary/parody of all the books. He does preface it—unfortunately—with a statement that it’s “okay to like Twilight”. Other than this, “blogging twilight” will provide lots of laughs and a healthy contempt for this dreck.

When I was in a Catholic grade school, around grade 6 or 7, a lot of the girls in my class were reading the VC Andrews series Flowers in the Attic. I didn’t read any of them until I was an adult and even as an adult I wish I hadn’t. I still can’t believe they read these back in grade school at a Catholic school. Personally when I was a teenager I fell in love with Louisa May Alcott’s writing, (there’s much more than Little Women), LM Montgomery’s works, and Jane Austen’s writings (especially Pride and Prejudice). I do think parents need to know exactly what can be found in some of these books but kids do need a variety of literature. There are lots of good books out there and lots of bad. Teach kids how to choose wisely and if you don’t know what’s in the book read it too or first so you can talk about what’s in the book and what you like and don’t like about the book.

I read all of the books to see what the hype was.  And I’ve watched all but the latest movie, just because I like seeing how things are adapted for screen and I was curious how they were going to handle Book 2 since Edward is hardly in it at all.

I really don’t think it is appropriate for teens to be reading without an adult to discuss it with.  It does portray some messed up ideas about true love.  There is nothing truly pornographic (explicit sex scenes) about it, though.  I assume that most of the people comparing it to porn are referring to the analogy that while porn distorts love and sex for men a lot of romantic books and movies distort love and sex for women (i.e., assuming that a relationship should be full of drama and grand gestures).

In general, though, I don’t think the Twilight series necessarily deserves all of the ire being thrown its way. If you read it and didn’t like it, that’s your opinion (I don’t particularly love them and doubt I will ever read them again), but holding it up at the root of all evil seems a bit much.  And everyone’s derision about it smacks of a certain rebellion against the popular just because it’s popular, especially from those who think that actually reading the books would be beneath them.

I give Simcha a pass, because I love her and she’s about to lay another golden egg any day now.  And I think her over all point is spot on.  But when I think about on the stuff that I read without adult comment as a teen that really did get sexually graphic at times (Anne Rice, Philippa Gregory, Flower in the Attic), Twilight is very tame by comparison. 

What is really ridiculous is the grown women who get so obsessed about it, especially the single ones I know.  Every time they start debating on Facebook between Edward and Jacob, I feel compelled to point out that it’s really the choice between Mr. Whiny and Mr. Immature and question why they would want either one.

Maggie- I agree! A little ‘mild’ censorship can be fine- depending on the child- I also like to buy good books and scatter them around like bread crumbs. ;)

I agree with the commenters who have touched upon the “Twilight Moms” mania.  It makes me distinctly uncomfortable to see these moms and wives swooning over characters that are a) vampires or werewolves and b) portrayed by very young men; in some cases, teenagers. 

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These are married women. What kind of example does it set for their daughters to see Mom gushing over a man who isn’t their husband? When I was fourteen, my mom and a friend of hers went with me to the mall, where a fashion show was going on. My mother and her friend started wolf calling and gushing over one of the male models.  I remember saying to my mom, “Mom! You’re a married woman!” She said, ‘Well, I can still LOOK, can’t I?” No, not if you want to show me what marriage is supposed to be like.  Watching her act like that felt creepy and wrong. I can only imagine how icked out the teenage fans of Twilight must feel when they see their mothers scream “EDWARD!” at a screening.  Ick.

There’s so many great books out there, there’s no time to read the mediocre stuff. I look at my kids’ catholic school summer reading lists and am disappointed that they often follow the stuff the public schools use. For example, there’s a shortage of priests—one of the most often cited beginnings of awareness of a calling is reading a life of one of the saints. You want violence?—read the journals of the N. American martyrs. Sex? Read Augustine’s bio. Adventure? Ignatius of Loyola or Frances. There’s tons of other great catholic authors - flood your kids with their works. They’ll be bored with the rest.

I agree you can’t quarantine kids. But one day we will be called to account for every careless word we utter. Perhaps also for every useless word we read.

Love the column.  Recently re-read Gone with the Wind.  What a treat to read it as a grown Catholic woman.  It is filled with all sorts of Catholic elements (because the author was a Catholic!). This would be a great vehicle for mothers-daughters to connect.

I’ve read all the Twilight books and watched all the movies (except the new one, which I probably will). The books were not well written, but there really was some potential. And they certainly aren’t porn, even in a metaphorical sense. Unfortunately, the author took the two most boring and annoying characters and made the books about them. There were themes she briefly touched on that would have added more depth - like whether the vampires had souls (yes, I know vampires aren’t real, but it would have been far more interesting than another interminable interlude of stone cold chastity). Supposedly the vampires had had years long discussions of this topic. The pro-life aspect was the most interesting part, I thought. The humanity of the baby (such as it was, being half vampire and all) was established before it was born which I thought was unexpectedly positive, along with Bella’s instant love and courage to have it no matter what, which I honestly wouldn’t have expected of her.

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The writing style was atrocious. I won’t lie. I began the series because I have a weakness for vampire tales. I finished it because I have OCD and couldn’t bear to leave it unfinished. But the pacing was terrible, the vocabulary was mediocre, and the character development was nonexistent. I saw the movies because I wanted to compare them to the books. They were better in terms of pacing, but the precious few tidbits of depth were eliminated entirely. They were mildly entertaining, but that’s it.

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So all this being said, I wouldn’t prevent my teen from reading the books if they really wanted to. I doubt it will be a truly enriching experience, but it is a cultural one that I don’t think would cause any harm.

Something to remember when your adolescents are excited about literature is how they share that with their friends.  My younger daughter has a severe disability that has affected her reading ability.  She’s always been self-conscious that she can’t read the “in” book with her friends.  She desperately wanted to read Twilight because of her peers’ reaction to it.  We toughed out the first chapter, by which time the first movie was out.  As turned off by the first movie as she was, she kept reading to keep talking to her friends.  When the second movie came out and we went to see it, the main female character tells the hero that he can take her soul—she doesn’t need it.  Veronica got up and walked out with her sister and I in tow.  She said she had no use for that kind of character, and has never shown an interest in a book or movie because of a friend again.  She wrote a song about it that is on youtube:  http://youtu.be/gRhMZwsba_I

Don’t forget Ayn Rand’s stuff.  A certain kind of young girl loves horses and Ayn Rand - and the next thing you know she’s a Hitler Youth.

Interesting topic… Like a couple others, I read the VC Andrews books when I was a teenager.  (Have always been a voracious reader—nearly anything I can get my hands on…)  Thought they were “okay” because my mom and sister had read them too.  (Not just the Flowers in the Attic series, there were a couple others.  Just don’t remember the names.)  As an adult, I truly wish I had never come across that garbage.  Just plain ick.  Perhaps there are some young women out there who react differently to such novels, but these books were in no way intended to bring one closer to God.  I have no interest in the Twilight series; I find it disturbing that some of my girlfriends (married women with young kids, faithful Catholics) swoon over this series.  I agree with a couple other posters out there: this stuff is porn.  (Men have porn in pictures, women in words—hence the harlequin books.)  I know you can’t shield your kids from everything, but garbage is garbage and belongs in the trash.

@Susie

In regards to buying a kindle: whenever a book is purchased, whether it’s free or not, you will get a notice that there has been a purchase. So if you have control over the Amazon account, you should easily be able to keep tabs on what she is putting on there. But it might not hurt to scroll through the books now and then :)

I struggle with this issue of literature—I was a voracious reader as a child/teen and I read a lot of good things, but also a lot of things that harmed me—either because they were trash, or, as you say, because although they were well written, they were dangerous for me at that age.  So having experienced for myself a lot of variety but really regretting having read things too young, I want to be more careful with my children.  My eldest daughter is eleven and also a voracious reader, and I try to be careful about what I put in front of her.  At the same time, I don’t value fluff that is harmless; I want it to be good literature.  She would devour Dickens if I gave it to her, but there are some difficult and mature themes I think she’s not ready for.  Wuthering Heights—it seems like your reaction as a teen would be a predictable one, and I’d consider that adult material.  So anyway…yes, it’s a balance, and I’m not sure if I’m the best at discerning.  I agree with what you say for the most part but I am wanting to make the point that maybe we should be more careful than our parents were, without being completely pscyho, of course. :)

JB, your daughter has a lovely voice, and is a talented songwriter.  Very funny too.

I appreciate your article and as a father of four teenagers, I share your concern. At the same time, while I realise that your article is about parents’ responsibilities in monitoring their children’s reading, I think Chesterton has merit when he writes: “In one sense, at any rate, it is more valuable to read bad literature than good literature. Good literature may tell us the mind of one man; but bad literature may tell us the mind of many men. A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author. It does much more than that, it tells us the truth about its readers; and, oddly enough, it tells us this all the more the more cynical and immoral be the motive of its manufacture. The more dishonest a book is as a book the more honest it is as a public document. A sincere novel exhibits the simplicity of one particular man; an insincere novel exhibits the simplicity of mankind. …men’s basic assumptions and everlasting energies are to be found in penny dreadfuls and halfpenny novelettes.” (“On Smart Novelists and the Smart Set”, from Heretics).

My parents unsuccessfully tried to censor my reading material. I exercised the teenager’s ‘good judgement call’ (a joke, right?) and mostly read books that I thought were good. I didn’t seek out trashy YA novels, of which there were many, not because they were forbidden, but because they had no appeal. However when one of my favourite authors (Rosemary Sutcliffe) ended up on a ‘banned books list’ that my mother actually had, I went into outright rebellion and made a point to read as many of her books as I could get without using an interlibrary loan. To this day I’m not sure why she was banned. The only things I could think of were that her historical novels had historically correct(ish) pagans, and one of her novels had a pretty realistic and depressing depiction of someone in a catatonic state.
I fully intend to not have a banned books list, but I also fully intend to have a pretty well-stocked and diverse library at home and encourage any children I have to ‘read up’, skipping the majority of the YA crap.

I’m 64 years old and a retired high school English teacher.  The Twilight series was a great, fun read.  Not great literature, but fun to read. They are on par with Grease on the subject of true love.

Read the first Twilight book.  It could have been at least a third shorter without missing ANY of the plot, such as it was.  Chose not to waste my time with more.

There are some very good young adult books out there.  I often read what my kids read.  But I can also read Alcott, Augustine, Kreeft. 

Wuthering Heights, which I read about a year ago, reminded me a lot of Flannery O’Connor’s writing.  Haven’t quite investigated why that should be.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn is probably my favorite book ever.  And those words of Katie to her daughter?  Never quite rang true to me.  One false note in the entire book, in my opinion…

Anyhow, have any of you seen this “Ginny v Bella” gag making the rounds on the Internet?  If your daughter can read both the Twilight series and the Harry Potter series and then look at this picture and laugh, she’s probably not suffered any harm from the Twilight series.

I was talking to my 25 year old daughter about the Twilight series the other day. I asked if she’d read them because a mom I knew gushed and said her 11 year old loved them, but even as this mom extolled the plot it sounded weird to me.  My daughter screamed, “They are HORRIBLE!” Just a little backstory; my daughter went through the dreaded “goth” stage in high school.  She’s fine now, the only remaining vestige being dyed black hair, which I’ll never understand, but anyway, during that goth stage she delved into very murky literature including but not limited to Rice, Poe, Stoker and the Satanic Bible and she claims Twilight disturbed her more than anything with its teeny-bop romanticized violence, abuse, and creepy disfunction.  She’s absolutely mystified by the appeal.  One time she even tried to get a goth friend to read it just to have someone to share the disgust, without success (this friend is now a scientist, genius IQ, imagine Abby on NCIS, not really into the vampire teen bodice-busters) so she’s had to be alone in the revulsion all these years.  It’s kind of how you feel when you undergo a conversion and suddenly half the world seems insane.  Like the culture of death is so pervasive, people can get fooled into thinking a story is wholesome family literature if the main character waits to have mutilation sex AFTER marrying the undead.

I was thinking, it might be nice if someone gathered together a list of books for young adults that does portray love in a healthy way…

I too grew up without a TV.  The curtains in my room had black out backing so I could be put to bed around the year at seven.  My mother swears that I was reading at two, but she also says other things that calls things into question.  Books became my life, my great outlet, the objects of my desire.  Reading was an occasion of sin for me.  Not because of the subject material, but because I would lock myself in my room for hours so I could finish a beloved book.  So with that said, I can relate to much in this blog post, but I need to quickly follow this thought up with the admission that I have a date with my beautiful daughter to see the latest Twilight movie.  I have read them all.  Did I love them?  No.  They still perplex me.  They ARE page turners.  How did such unexceptional writing keep me on the hook?  SERIOUSLY?  Are you ready for this?  Promise not to stone me?  The hero is a savior.  It first came on my radar as I was cooking dinner one night.  My fifth-grade daughter began to tell me about her new book. She was clearly in a dither.  Was she—trembling?  “Mama” she stammered.  “He glitters like diamonds.”  I stopped stirring the pasta sauce.  That little alarm in the back of my head was doing it’s thing.  It wasn’t until I’d read the book that I understood.
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He was noble.  He was chaste.  He was beautiful.  He loved her passionately.  He had ultimate control. He fought evil…..He was willing to die because of her(maybe that was the second book.)
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“Oh honey I get it now”  I told her.  He IS beautiful.  But he ISN’T a vampire.  He’s Jesus.
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Then we had a long, long conversation which worked us both into a dither.

I agree that there are books that are appropriate for teens and some for adults. I am sure there are many book “intended” for teens but would be much better served for adults.
My personal favorites are Judy Blume who, while not the most moral author today, is to me as classical literature as anyone.
Recommendations-Little Women, Little Men, Jo’s Boys, Jane Eyre.

My favorite part is when Bella goes to Rome, and a group of tourists get devoured by vampires, and Bella shrugs. “Like, what-ever… I have my own shiny-skinned killer who can play piano. Like, to hell with everyone else.”

Bella is a Hitler youth.

I heard once that talking with your kids has a huge affect on how they interpret the media around them.
Here’s an example- A cartoon shows a pile-driver rock fall on a coyote, tip over, and the animal springs up wrinkled like an accordion, appearing in the next scene to be just fine.
Now, we all know this isn’t real, but kids (especially young ones) aren’t always able to differentiate. When they see violence like this, they think it’s ok. (How many of us played Power Rangers on the playground??)
Carefully guided discussions (asking questions that make them analyze what actually happened, compared to real-life consequences) with our kids about what is viewed, heard, and read can have a huge impact on how a child perceives things.. violence, “romance”.. everything.
The secret- know what they’re viewing, hearing, reading so you can bring the issue. Watch TV with them, check out the books they’re reading, listen in on the music on their ipod.

Just thought I should chime in here because my daughter read the books and I didn’t. I started the first one and actually enjoyed it, but not enough to finish it. My daughter told me all about the other books and was actually kind of sickened by the last one. I am not a permissive parent—I didn’t let her read the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants books when she was 12 and wanted to, for instance—but in MY estimation she was fine to read these books. Everyone’s tastes and maturity levels are different, and there are all kinds of crappy books they can pick up any time for the rest of their lives. We had a lot of talks about the books, what was good in them and what was twisted, etc. I think what many girls watch on television is far, far worse for them than the Twilight books, ditto for music, and that there are FAR worse books out there (check the teen section of your library!). My daughter saw two of the movies but got tired of them. Also, I read a very interesting essay online (don’t have it anymore, unfortunately) about the Mormon theology in the books: in Mormonism, for instance, women go to heaven only if they are married and their husbands go, and The Mormons believe that Mary was impregnated the normal way. So Bella as a sort of Mormon Mary, who becomes immortal because of her marriage and has a miracle baby that brings peace, are interesting ideas. I don’t think SM wrote them as allegories, just that they are part of her background. But to the extent that they ARE Mormon, they do come across as both attractive and twisted.

Hi, I am LDS (Mormon) and I just wanted to set the record straight on a few things. (Surprised to find a Mormon here?) My good friend is Catholic and she sent me a link after being surprised by Gail Finke’s comment.
“Also, I read a very interesting essay online (don’t have it anymore, unfortunately) about the Mormon theology in the books: in Mormonism, for instance, women go to heaven only if they are married and their husbands go, and The Mormons believe that Mary was impregnated the normal way. So Bella as a sort of Mormon Mary, who becomes immortal because of her marriage and has a miracle baby that brings peace, are interesting ideas. I don’t think SM wrote them as allegories, just that they are part of her background. But to the extent that they ARE Mormon, they do come across as both attractive and twisted.”

Woah…
First, Mormon women are not attached to their husband’s worthiness to enter heaven. This is a strange skew on our beliefs on eternal marriages. We believe that we marry for eternity, not just for life. And that if we are still going to be together in heaven, we both have to be worthy. Remember- Mormons believe in 3 degrees of heaven- Celestial, Terrestial, and Telestial. Celestial is the top one and the one you want to go to. Only the best of the best get to go there, and if both spouses aren’t worthy, they get split up. But no, women are not stuck going to hell because of a crappy husband.

Mary was impregnated the normal way? Um, that’s the first I’ve ever heard of this.

I’d say whoever wrote that essay was really, really grasping at straws to make some Mormon connection to the stories. REALLY grasping!

As for me, I read all but the last 20 pages of the first book and found it stupid. I did see the first 2 movies because the little girl I mentored begged me. Can’t stand them, never will!

Personally, I’m with the author of this article. I’m looking everywhere I can to find good love stories where the woman is strong and doesn’t have to change who she is or her beliefs to find a good man.

I feel like I am maybe going out on a limb here, but….I’m not convinced that micro-managing kids’ reading habits is really the best path.  CS Lewis mentioned in his autobiography that one of the biggest positive influences in his youth was his complete, unrestricted access to all of the books in the house, many of them completely inappropriate for children.  My childhood was pretty similar - nobody paid any attention to what I was reading, so I read a lot of trash (VC Andrews etc.), a lot of wonderful but very adult literature and a lot of good, age-appropriate stuff.  I feel like my tastes in books very naturally and very strongly gravitated towards the best stuff because I learned for myself what was good and what was garbage.  Sure I developed some sketchy ideas (I thought Heathcliff was soooo dreamy) but don’t we all have to work through this kind of stuff anyway?  I doubt that all-high-lit-all-the-time approach works because there’s so little room for a kid to find what sparks their own love of books. 

I don’t know.  We try to eat healthy, and our meals are almost always from-scratch with fresh ingredients and prepared well….Every once in a while, though, we’ll stop at Sonic and we all love it!  I don’t think it has lessened my kids’ appreciation of my husband’s grilled Sea Bass with fennel. 

I don’t actually give my kids’ free-reign over our bookshelves, but I sometimes wonder if all the oversight we lavish on our kids these days is actually just keeping them from finding the good, the true, and the beautiful for themselves in a way that will really stick, more so than when we try to force-feed it to them.

rem, I couldn’t have said it better.  I like what Simcha said about praying a lot as we guide our children through this.  The Vaseline statement was a little much.  My original comment on this topic went to that murky “this is going to be moderated” spot, whatever that means.  I recognized in my daughter a thirst for PURE LOVE while she was reading Twilight.  After reading the book myself, I was impressed by a few things (it was a page turner) but it was incredibly simple.  What seized my daughter’s emotions was the consideration of a man who was beautiful, intelligent, powerful but who exercised extreme self control, who fought evil, and was willing to sacrifice himself for her…Does that ring a bell?  We had some fantastic conversations about the heart’s deepest longings and discussed this in light of our faith.  She and I have a date tonight to see the latest movie.

I just got off the phone with my daughter.  We were discussing what books to get my grandchildren for Christmas.  And we got talking about this blog.  She said that she appreciated being brought up without the book police.  It was not that she read everything, but rather that I did not censor her reading.  On my shelves were, still are, King and Rice.  I loved the works by these two authors, but she never read either of them.  Why?  Because Mom read them.  If you don’t want your teenaged daughter to not read something, have her see you reading it.  She will avoid it like the plague.  Just a bit of reverse psychology going on there.  Now my daughter’s comfort food for the eyes is Pride and Prejudice.  She got over VC Andrews once she met Jane Austen.  Trust your daughters to grow and develop their own sense of what they want to revisit later and what they want to throw/give away.

Oh, anon, it’s both PORN and it’s lousy, moony teen fic.

Just look around you.  Most porn is consumed by females.  The stuff is sold openly in supermarkets.

I am the one who posted about Mormons and I’m sorry if I misrepresented LDS teachings. However, I used to work with a Mormon woman whose husband left her and she was distraught because she told us that now she could not get to heaven—the only way to get to heaven was to have a sealed marriage with a good Mormon man. She was not a member of a fringe group, she was Utah LDS. So that’s where I got that. As far as Mary’s conception of Jesus goes, I have read that in numerous apologetics books but if it’s not true I apologize profusely for saying so.

Has anyone out there ever seen that crappy Adam Sandler movie, “Water Boy”?  The mother is suspicious of EVERYTHING.  Whenever my kids see people trying to kill gnats with jackhammers…“TWILIGHT IS PORN”(!); they all say in chorus, “It’s the DEVIL!” in their best Louisiana accents.

Okay, I have to say, I also am uncomfortable with describing everything which is sexually provocative as “porn.”  I understand the motivation:  we don’t want to minimize the spiritual or emotional or societal danger of normalizing entertainment whose sole purpose is to arouse the consumer.  And as far as I know, there is no such thing as a venial sin against chastity.   It’s all serious, and it doesn’t matter which specific circle of Hell it lands you in, right?

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But I do think it’s worthwhile to reserve the word “porn” for—well, pornography, and not just every type of media which has some undesirable sexual effects on the consumer.  It’s like calling it “rape” when someone kisses you when you don’t want to be kissed.  It’s hard to speak out against this kind of overuse of words without making it seem like you’re trivializing the significance of unwanted kisses or steamy scenes in novels—but I think we should be careful. 

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I’ve heard, for instance, of a man describing lifestyle and design magazines as porn for women, because they have the effect (similar to the effect that real porn has on men) of making them feel perpetually dissatisfied with anything that their real-life spouse can provide for them, and makes them feel distant and critical of the things that ought to make them happy and fulfilled.

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Okay, so lifestyle magazines are bad for women.  BUT THEY ARE NOT PORN.  For goodness’ sake.

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I love “Water Boy,” though.  Sweet, sweet movie.

Not to digress too much (I agree with you about “porn”) but I just want to make the small point that there can be a venial sin against chastity when there is not full reflection/consent.  It is maybe more accurate to say that the *matter* is always grave, which of course means we have to be very careful about putting ourselves in the near occasion.  Not pointing this out to nitpick but just for the benefit of readers who might wonder…

I know I should really shut up on this comment thread but I am finding the diversity of views here really fascinating.  Why is it that some of us who grew up with uncensored reading, are glad of that, and some of us wish it had been censored?

Rebecca, I’ll try to speak for myself and guess about others.  I’m going to bring up porn again.  I was exposed to actual porn at a young age and it pops up unbidden in my mind thirty years later. Certain scenes from My Sweet Audrina and Forever do the same thing to me.  I wish my reading had been more carefully monitored, not because it permanently damaged my appetite for good literature, though it did a number on that too, but because some of the stuff I read still haunts me.  Maybe I am, and people like me are, more susceptible to that? 
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Rebecca and Sara, I thank you for continuing to reflect and comment, because I’m right there with you! Sara, I do understand what you are saying about things popping up in your mind, because that is exactly what I deal with. I am just trying to spare my children the damage inflicted upon my young, impressionable brain. I read what could be called softcore porn when I was a very young preteen, and read that garbage through my teen years. My mother subscribed to the Literary Guild (!) and I read Sidney Sheldon and other “adult” writers. This was my formation for what I thought was normal, healthy sexuality. I am sharing this to explain more clearly my position. It is wonderful to trust our children to make good choices, to let them choose their own books, etc.; HOWEVER, some of them may stumble across such filth and enjoy it in a completely NONhealthy way. I did not see the harm nor damage, but I also thought that anything anyone wanted to do was 100% okay. I had no spiritual formation until I began going to church in college. Ten years in Protestant church and I still thought what I was reading was fine. It was only when I came Home to the Catholic Faith in ‘98 that I began learning that the garbage I was reading was just plain WRONG. I am not talking about old literature that has been on banned books lists. My children are permitted to read just about anything they want if it’s considered literature or a classic. I am not worried about language or mild references to sexuality or violence. It’s the blatant, in your face sex, including rape, and other truly sick practices that are just totally unnecessary for our kids to be reading.
Rebecca, I believe that those who grew up w/uncensored reading, myself included, are just a diverse group of people! Some of us were catechized from an early age and had good consciences, and knew early on that certain books (movies, situations, etc.) were just “wrong.” Others didn’t see the harm, enjoyed the emotions and feelings evoked, and it was the slippery slope of one step at a time, until we found ourselves thoroughly entrenched in the YUCK. I had to get rid of a LOT of books! Who knew?! I freely admit this. I was in college in the 80s in So CA, and several of my classes were human sexuality classes. I was taking a lot of psychology classes. I thought that the “free-er” we were, the better. I figured anything goes. Well, it’s been a lot of prayer and reading of good books to help free me from that terribly unhealthy mindset. I am blessed to be married 23+ years to the same man, have six beautiful children, and we can talk about anything. In fact, I discussed this article and the comments with my son 16, and daughter 13, and they both agreed that they didn’t feel like their reading was censored in any way. They know we have thousands of books in our home, the library, our Kindles, and that they have free reign to read what they would like. Fortunately, they choose good books. My daughter has no interest in Twilight. She knows the story, as we discussed it. But she has chosen Jane Austen, Louisa May Alcott, and other modern day writers who tell exciting and interesting stories that do not romanticize nor glorify unhealthy relationships. It is what it is. I am blessed to have children who love to read, and who are able to discern what is good and what is not. I wish I’d had that ability at their age. It really is like a veil….I lost that veil of innocence far too early, reading really explicit material. I can only hope my children can remain as wise as they are! Blessings to you all on Thanksgiving.

Good post, you lose some credibility though when your opening is a major slam on a movie you haven’t seen, which is based on a book you haven’t read.  Here’s my two cents:  You can’t shelter your kids forever.  Feed them good books, and when they (hopefully) develop a love of reading and wander into uncharted territory, they will recognize trash when they see it.  And talk to them. Talk about everything.  Talk some more.  And pray.

Sara, that is why I wish my reading had been more moderated.  There are images that still come to my mind and I hate that they are there.  I never even touched the junky teen stuff because I had no interest in it, or any of the Harlequinn stuff, and I would say that ninety percent of what I read was of good quality, self-selected.  But then the remaining ten percent—either the themes were too mature for me at the time, or they were simply disgusting/dark, posing as modern High Literature.  I think it would have been great to have someone trusted near me who would have paged through some of those things first so those images never would have had to enter my mind when I was so impressionable. 

I thought the oomment by Pat S was interesting, about teens not wanting to read what their mothers read—is that the common experience?  I personally was very interested in what my parents read, and watched, and listened to, and tended to adopt most of their tastes, all throughout my childhood and teen years.  I thought my parents were really neat people and I admired them.  My oldest is only eleven, but she steals all my books from me while I’m reading them, from catalogues to Chesterton to books on child development.  It could be that things will change, but I’m wondering whether I’m from some other planet or what the experience of others is in this area.

Rebecca, I stole my mom’s books fairly frequently.  So, maybe we’re from the same planet.

What bothers me far more than a pretty silly movie is some of that same Harry Potteresque hysteria that I was slammed with some years ago. My oldest child became a serious reader because he loved those books so much.  What was damaging to his Catholic faith was watching otherwise intelligent adults lose their ability to size the whole thing up.  His godmother literally accused me of being less-of-a-good-mother because I had succumbed to such evil.  You should have seen the e mails fly. Honestly?  I remember when his godmother was sleeping around,smoking, hanging out with drug dealers and wearing a tiny suede bikini (NO exaggerations here!)  Did she repent?  Yup.  She is a good Mama of a large brood.  Why do some people swing so hard in the opposite direction?  I get the guilt thing, the “I’m going to save my child from what happened to me” thing, (Please accept my slang) but I really think there is a fat dose of hidden pride, and an inability to face that one’s child/young adult is a sexual being too. Movies like TWILIGHT are the PERFECT way to naturally discuss the sensitive subject of sexual longing.  So far my son isn’t practicing black magic, and my daughter isn’t searching for a chaste vampire to wait-until- married-to-have-sex-with.  We totally enjoyed our date at the movies together.  We rolled our eyes a ton, laughed at so much silliness, and both cried at that incredibly heart rending moment when Edward accepts his unborn child.  OMG she GAVE HER LIFE FOR HER CHILD!!!!  Please. (The only occasion of sin was having to fight feelings of lust for that frickin AWESOME house in the forest!)  Our night at the theater was a long, long way away from any ring of HELL.  Simcha, no offense please, you ARE brilliant, and I know I’m not the first to notice, but I believe the only people who go to Hell hate God and their neighbor, and it takes a LOT of EVIL choices to get to that state.  I believe you will look at all of this differently when your daughters are older.

I see red flags all over these comments. Twilight may not be all “bad”, it may have some redeeming features, but I think folks are working too hard to justify their support/fascination with the series. You know, the “she doth protest too much” thing. I can’t understand the fascination with vampires, Anne Rice’s or anyone else’s. To delve so deeply into evil is questionable so why do it? To me this is not just a question of whether it is well written (I will admit that what I have seen of Anne Rice’s work is very well written). It is not a question of sheltering myself or my children forever. It is a question of how deeply into the evil these writers go. They go very deeply and they draw the reader into that evil. Otherwise, we wouldn’t all be fascinated by it would we? I did see about 15 min. of the first Twilight movie and it totally creeped me out. In part because I couldn’t stop watching. I was drawn into it. To be honest, it was a scary feeling. Not scared of what was on the screen, but scared of how I was drawn to it. Maybe some people are more sensitive to being drawn to it, but maybe it is that some people are more aware of that power and others are not. Those unaware are still drawn to it they just don’t know it and that is dangerous. The lines get blurred and you can’t see it for what it is: evil. With so many questions about these novels and movies, sometimes it comes down to one question: How is this going to bring me closer to God? How is this going to get me to heaven? If the answer is not at all or not sure, then walk away. There are many, many other avenues (books, movies, etc) to gain an understanding of sin, evil, building up virtue etc that won’t open a person up to such evil. Sometimes, the best thing is not to learn about sin or evil, but to know it is out there and spend our efforts on KNOWING God. I love to read and was exposed to good and great literature from an early age. The darkness found in some literature is something I choose not to immerse myself in. this discussion reminds me of other threads on modest dressing, so much ink spent on justifying something questionable. If you have to justify it with so much ink, maybe you should just wear a longer skirt, more blouse or read a different book? Just sayin’.

Parents, the anti drug.

@ Ann, I’m afraid that you misunderstand some of us.  I don’t give a rat’s patootie about Twilight.  Now, after so many years, my daughter just smiles about her original interest. Ann Rice disturbed her too. “Immersion” is quite a strong word.  What disgusts me is sanctimony.  Obviously this is at the opposite end of licentiousness, but my husband and I joke with each other that right wingers and left wingers often end up holding hands around the back.  Yes evil is everywhere, and it tries to tempt you where you are at, with slow half degrees of “giving in”.  This is why I actually agonize over these things, but most importantly pray, pray, pray about them, and then discuss them with a seasoned priest who still wears a cassock.  It would be sooooo much easier to make our household like an authoritarian state. ( The looong skirt logic ends in a Burka) I think that both of us can agree that balance is in order, and to err on the side of being conservative.  I managed to keep my oldest “under wraps” the longest, and am sad to say that he seems to suffer from the most confusion.  He was a MODEL of virtue before college.  My second son turned down offers of sex, from “conservative” girls from “conservative” families at his “conservative” Catholic college.  My daughter, on the other hand has gone to public school the longest.  None of her friends are Christians.  She has convinced most of her friends to be pro-life, she has brought several to mass (including the step daughter of an abortionist) and yes, she suffered some ridicule when she was the LONE VOICE who dared speak out against Obama during the last election.  She didn’t back down because she’s fierce, and CATHOLIC.  She also made one, Planned Parenthood “health” volunteer very, very uncomfortable with some pointed questions and statistics. I cried when she told me that she brought her best friend to a church and taught her how to talk to God on her knees.  Her friend’s father is a former Catholic from a large family.  Whenever she goes away with that family on a weekend they know the drill: Sophia needs to find the nearest Catholic church.  When asked why she was “forced to go to mass” she said “No, it’s not like that. I love to go.”  My children are immersed in the world.  It hasn’t always been pretty (sigh).  We try to find the good and the beautiful wherever we can, and we reject what is unredeemable.  For the time being, I will continue to pray, struggle,and try to walk the walk WITH them, and putting things in perspective with balance and reason.  Best Regards

Anna Lisa, What in the world are you talking about? “What disgusts me is sanctimony.” You know nothing about me yet you give me a long story about your children and I suppose the effects of sheltering vs. immersing them in the world. Again, I have children and you have no idea how we are raising them or what their experiences are in regards to immersion v. sheltering.
“sanctimony” was this directed at me?
“It would be sooooo much easier to make our household like an authoritarian state.” Or this?

Do you realize how your comments came across?

Maybe part of the problem is that there is a little bit of false dichotomy going on…I know some families who are very “sheltering” but also very authoritarian, and that can be a formula for rebellion.  I personally do not believe authoritarianism is effective or healthy and I cultivate friendship with my children—though I also believe in the natural authority of a parent.  In other words, I try not to boss my kids around or make big lists of rules, and I give them a great deal of freedom.  On the other hand, I try to provide a healthy environment within which to exercise their freedom.  I keep around tons of music and tons of books and we watch movies, but I am careful about what I choose to have around.  In this model, where the “sheltering” is mainly in the environment rather than in the use of authority to limit children’s freedom, I actually very rarely need to say “no”, and we have good, positive relationships.  So not that we’re a perfect family or anything, but I’m just proposing that it isn’t necessarily either/or—either giving your kids freedom and cultivating a good relationship, or being authoritarian dictators.

Ann, Sorry if I vented a little frustration on you. I have known a lot of Catholic families of all kinds.  What strikes me is that the ones at both “ends of the spectrum” seem to produce children with the most pain and unhappiness.  As for “sanctimony”—That was a general statement, and I also get huge doses of it from my husband’s agnostic family, who don’t get Catholicism AT ALL. Perhaps some of your quick, pat solutions (Shakespearean quote)  to clothing, literature/entertainment,simply reflect the fact that your daughter(s) are still young and you haven’t been challenged in this area so much.  I think it is safe to say that we all have the same goals in mind.  I don’t think fear is the solution, but I sometimes feel it.  I have been genuinely surprised by some of the counter intuitive advice I have been given on the subject in spiritual direction (“but I don’t WANT to walk so close to the edge, Father”).  I am always relieved to find or read about other mothers who struggle with the same things, have a similar outlook, and are meeting with success—or the “fruits” of this outlook.  I am delighted that the first fruits of this advice is a wonderful relationship with my daughter who is very, very good.  And yes, I just asked her to take down a picture of herself in a bikini on facebook, even though she looks beautiful, and sewed it masterfully, herself! Most importantly, I think most of the people who commented on this thread would agree that in TODAY’S world, talking about EVERYTHING with our children, and being realistic about age appropriateness is key. Blessings on you, and yours :)

“your quick, pat solutions” Again, you make assumptions about me and my children and misunderstand what I wrote. Nowhere did I offer quick, pat solutions to anything. I must have left out the part about all the prayer and thought that should go into how we handle these things. I don’t believe I ever mentioned banning books (ie, censorship) being a dictator or anything of the kind. I am amazed at how my comments were turned into a treatise on parenting. My comments were more directed at the adult women commenting here. And I stand by my statement that many “doth protest too much” when it comes to these books. For the record, I read much of what my children read but usually not until they have read it as they are quicker than I am. My daughter has read a few things that we regretted (just threw one away)but since I am a parent it is my responsibility and right to say “no” when necessary. It is nice to be their friend but that is not my job. And Twilight gets a big NO. Because we talk a lot, and her faith formation is good, my daughter recognized Twilight for the trash that it is. This was a no brainer and easy one for us. Others may not be so easy. And each child is different so you have to know your child and what they can handle. I can see by what you and others have written that you have a high tolerance level for certain things so we have a very different perspective. We choose not to skate so close to the edge with some things.

@Ann, we are both praying to the same Holy Spirit, the same God of Love.  Peace.
.
I have to recount a sort of funny,sad,true story.  I grew up in a household where sex was totally unmentionable, so I depended on books to “get the scoop”.  What is amazing is that I actually got to the age of eleven without knowing that sex is where babies came from.  Please excuse me for sounding crass, but I had heard from about kindergarten that people “screwed”, which some highly informed kid told me involved male/female parts that…“screwed” (?) together.  Hmmmm.  Wow.  Add a couple of play dates to different friends’ houses (Catholic school mates 3rd and fifth grade) where I was shown a stash of the older brothers’ Playboy magazines.  I “told” in the third grade, but was just plain embarrassed in the fifth and sorta fascinated.  So imagine this:  My best friend shows me a cartoon book about how babies are made, that her Mom just gave her, (only I never actually got to the baby making part).  It featured two highly unattractive, overweight characters getting NAKED and….!!!!  I slammed the book shut and hissed, “You SHOULDN’T be reading this.  Your MOM gave this to you??  Wow that’s DISGUSTING.”  Then we marveled over how her parents actually did that. I wondered how two such proper looking people could be such perverts!  Needless to say, my Mom got a phone call later that day.  She talked to me in my room.  Her face was crimson and her body language tortured.  The next day I got my own book,neatly placed upon my pillow.

This is a wacky point of view.  The Bronte sisters evil???  Being a dumb dolly and teaching girls to be like that… is wrong.  Knowing what you are talking about is better.  I am very open minded at 48 and 50.  We are about to adopt and well, I plan and promise that if my kids want to read something,  I am not against it. 

Burn me at the stake.  Let’s go. I am going to enjoy that you cannot. You have no authority over the bishops. You have no faith in God’s strength.  You have more faith in slugging the back of your child’s head than to actually believe that God’s Spirit would give them the same ability you have to understand. To keep a teen girl from reading and actually learning more than just the Catechism word for word and not teach them to reason and use equals dumb Catholic prissy dolly lessons.  This equals surface anti literalism.  Trust me,  just because they go word for word does not mean that they are going to keep the faith. 

No Twilight???? Don’t allow them to read Dracula either.  We are going to read all of them.  And we are going to enjoy all of them. 

I am surprised at you writing this blog topic in the first place.  Fear and ignorance are two things I loathe worse than hate. 

Close minded people are an awful scourge in this church.  It is all about fear. Both books are required reading ALL schools in the USa and abroad.
Good Christian and Catholic people overseas laugh at Americans and how closed minded and anti education you all have become.  I do not agree with you all in the view that girls should not read and be barefoot and stupid. 

These books are required reading at Christendom AND FRANCISCAN AND CREIGHTON AND AQUINAS AND CATHOLIC U.  I am sure that having your daughter be viewed and admired as dumb and naive dolly is what you want.  It is soo special to be seen as a dumb and naive dolly that does good and doesn’t know anything that could help her support herself and carry on
an intelligent conversation. 

Book burning is not what the church supports.  Call the USCCB to check.  If you won’t I will.  They burned the Bible too.

You are overreacting like more ultra conservs who fear.

Again,  the church does not support teens not reading the classics.  If you all are nervous alllll the time about what you are doing wrong, then what the whatever are you really doing or hiding???  What kind of past can a real reporter dig up?  Pray all you want for me but being stupid and teaching kids not to find out what is in there IS NOT WHAT THE CHURCH TEACHES.  If you don’t like that,  leave the church.  This is about fear and loathing that you yourselves do not believe that God loves you and that you can follow the Church as the bishops see fit.  You are not the authority and do not have a Master’s degree in Education or English.

Again,  you all who run this are not the bishops or authority in the Church.  You are not going to affect that many people.  They see you as over extremist and needing help. It is sad.

Close minded people are an awful scourge in this church.  It is all about fear. Both books are required reading ALL schools in the USa and abroad.
Good Christian and Catholic people overseas laugh at Americans and how closed minded and anti education you all have become.  I do not agree with you all in the view that girls should not read and be barefoot and stupid.

These books are required reading at Christendom AND FRANCISCAN AND CREIGHTON AND AQUINAS AND CATHOLIC U.  I am sure that having your daughter be viewed and admired as dumb and naive dolly is what you want.  It is soo special to be seen as a dumb and naive dolly that does good and doesn’t know anything that could help her support herself and carry on
an intelligent conversation.

Book burning is not what the church supports.  Call the USCCB to check.  If you won’t I will.  They burned the Bible too.

You are overreacting like more ultra conservs who fear.

Again,  the church does not support teens not reading the classics.  If you all are nervous alllll the time about what you are doing wrong, then what the whatever are you really doing or hiding???  What kind of past can a real reporter dig up?  Pray all you want for me but being stupid and teaching kids not to find out what is in there IS NOT WHAT THE CHURCH TEACHES.  If you don’t like that,  leave the church.  This is about fear and loathing that you yourselves do not believe that God loves you and that you can follow the Church as the bishops see fit.  You are not the authority and do not have a Master’s degree in Education or English.

Again,  you all who run this are not the bishops or authority in the Church.  You are not going to affect that many people.  They see you as over extremist and needing help. It is sad.

DOWNLOAD A FREE COPY OF WUTHERING HEIGHTS read it for yourself.

http://www.planetebook.com/ebooks/Wuthering-Heights-2.pdf

@Anna Lisa - I totally jive with what you are saying.  I had a mom who did not read for pleasure AT ALL.  She would buy me decent christian romance stuff, but could not keep up with my voracious reading.  I found Stephen King and REALLY terrible for me romance novels at my local library.  She never bothered to ask what was in those books I was reading.  But I KNEW they were bad for me.  They were most definitely porn.

“Twilight” is not porn.  It is very far away from porn.  It is simplistic writing.  I read all the books in a matter of hours.  But the theology IS interesting.  Why do teenage girls love this?  Here’s a guy who actually wants to PROTECT their virtue.  He says “No” to Bella when SHE comes on to HIM.  He would DIE for her.  Do I agree with everything in them? No, of course not.  But these books say something about what women REALLY want.  They want a guy to chase after them.  To cherish them.  To love them eternally, even though they aren’t the most beautiful thing in the world. 

And the whole - vampires and eternal damnation…that’s explored somewhat in the books.  These vampires are doing a hard thing…they are denying the cravings of their bodies because killing humans is wrong.  It’s really a beautiful treatise on the fact that we as humans and christians have to bring our bodies under submission, suppress our natural desires for the greater good.  Talk about being able to talk to you kids about big issues!

The movies are terrible…my husband and I love to make fun of them…but that’s a different story.  If you are a mom of kids who love to read…KNOW WHAT YOUR KIDS ARE READING.  It won’t always be what you want them to be reading, but if my mom had just ASKED me, there are things that I never would have read, because I didn’t want to disappoint her.

This is a really good thought-provoking article.  I agree with the variety approach.  in my own youth my views on love were greatly influenced by the books i read and wouldn’t want to inflict them on my children—D.H. Lawrence, specifically.  I am sure this comment is unnecessary but please be especially careful of Philip Pullman saga.  Beautifully written, evocative books but I do think quite dangerous to young minds.  Thank you for your thoughts!
caroleegifford@blogspotcom

Along with putting Stephanie Meyers’ books on the “do not read” list, I’d also have to add the J.K. Rowling “Harry Potter” garbage.

I must object to the Harry Potter series being placed on the same level as the Twilight series. As Stephen King puts it-“Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend.” Food for thought. I know which series I’d rather be reading.

This is an extremely uncharitable blog post and the comments are just as nasty. Any spiritual or moral points are lost in the juvenile responses suggesting book censorship, and the fear of the written word are amazing. Grow up, Catholics. Vampires and their troubles are all fictional. Smart Catholic kids won’t be inspired to sleep around or suck the blood out of classmates because their favorite book characters do or want to. They won’t become pro-life either because Bella kept her half-human baby. They won’t go suddenly stupid because they read for fun either. Writing about sex between married people does not equal porn or the Bible would be included.  Let them read and teach them how to discern. Also, Simcha, this is a very unkind post. Your points are somewhat lost in the unnecessary rudeness of it. This blogging trend that has cropped up among devout Catholics to write with meanness for the sake of a laugh or to prove a point does not flatter anyone, least of all the Church or Christ. It creates writing that is typical. Good writing does not match the voice of so many others. I am not a Twilight fan, but even I suspect that this post was written for the sake of hits and readership. It’s
just silly…since we’re all talking about writing trends and such.

Tiff ..  when are you coming to Florida???  Well put. 

Why are these people over reacting????

I never make comments, although I read almost all of Simcha’s posts. I do have to say (having read the books and seen most of the movies) that “Twilight” is crap. However, I don’t think it’s harmful for older teens (16 or 17 years old and older) to read these books. It’s not harmful for anyone to read anything, really, as long as they have a clear grasp on reality. The “Twilight” series is a silly romance novel that doesn’t make any sense. It just doesn’t. Vampire women cannot get pregnant, however, vampire men can impregnate non-Vampire women?? Come on. I do like the fact that Edward waits until they’re married, and he worries about whether or not he has a soul. But other than that ... pretty crappy. But I don’t think it’s harmful.
Harry Potter on the other hand, is a little more complex, and become more complex through the series. It’s a struggle about morality and good vs. evil, dealing with loss, overcoming hardships ... well the list goes on. If people can get past the fact it uses a fantasy, magical world as it’s vehicle, the story itself is good vs. evil.
And which Louisiana accent do your kids use, Anna Lisa? There are several accents down here ... we have the New Orleans Accent (which is like New York City meets Georgia Peach), the Cajun Accent (which the Kathy Bates attempts to mimick in Water Boy, but fails), and we have other country accents depending on your heritage and where you come from in Louisiana. Despite the terrible accents, Water Boy is a funny movie. LOL.

“But ultimately, probably the most effective thing you can do is to pray for them.  Dedicate them repeatedly to Mary.  Ask her to make them a sponge for good ideas and Teflon against the bad; and abandon the idea that you can follow a formula that turns out perfectly virtuous kids.”

Love this. I will admit I have been hoping to figure out that “formula” myself, but I need to abandon the idea that I can. Only our Holy Mother is worthy of “the perfect mother” title. The perfect thing I can do is pray for them and place them in the Holy Mother’s hands as you have reminded me. Thank you.

I think books are suppose to take you out of reality for a while, so that you can forget about your own worries and pain. Books provided a chance to escape for a short while and then come back to reality. I think it is stupid to think that these books are dangerous to teens. We should be able to tell reality from fiction. These are just books people.