When I was a new mother, I let the pediatric industrial complex push me around like pawn.
My baby, for instance, spent most of her night in a "c" word -- yes, a crib. I naively thought she was "safe" behind those bars, and it never once occurred to me that, behind her happy squeals and contented gurgles, she sensed that she was imprisoned, caged like a lab rat.
I bought shoes for her feet, if you can imagine such a thing (hello, is this 12th-century China? Unreal). I used to put her in a bouncy chair when I wanted to do laundry. I might as well have come right out and told her, "Yes, you little parasite, mother cares more about clean clothes than she does about you. You see this shirt? I love this shirt. It goes safely in a little basket. You, on the other hand, can stay on the floor."
I'm only telling you this because I'm safely on the other side of this madness, and my therapist has assured me that, with a few more years of intensive work, my daughter may start to heal.
I'm telling you this so you don't make the same mistakes as I did.
I'm ready to say it now: I used to push my baby in a stroller. Yes, using technology chillingly similar to what a Republican executioner in Texas would use when binding an innocent convict to an electric chair, and I would strap her in, and away we would go. The child, mind you, was facing away from me -- facing away, looking at faces and things that were not me, and I would pushing her. With every step I took, I was sending this message: get away from me. Go. Be gone. Do not be with me. Push, push, push.
Well, after a few years of this, I became aware that my child's interests were not best served when she was encased in a hard, synthetic cocoon of baubles, buckles, plastic and chrome. And so, in a pathetic attempt to salvage our damaged mother-child bond, I began to carry my baby. . .
In a baby carrier.
I shake my head in disbelief now, but at the time, I felt like I was doing the right thing -- after all, the child was facing me all day long, bonding, staying as close as nature intended us to be. Oh, did we bond! Especially in humid weather.
I don't mean to judge. I really don't, because I know how many women are still undereducated, and simply don't realize what damage they're doing to their little ones. But really, looking back, I don't know how I didn't see what an adversarial relationship I still had with my child. For instance, every day, I would put clothes on her -- sometimes several layers! It was as if I was saying, "I can only tolerate you when there's a barrier between you and me."
Eventually we became clothes free, the two of us, and I felt that maybe I had salvaged things before it was too late.
Something still seemed wrong, though. Maybe it was all the kefir grains I kept in my armpits (they have to be stored at exactly the proper temperature, or else they feel rejected and refuse to ferment. Kefir is people, too, folks!), but I started to feel -- heavy. Weighed down. And this was despite the fact that I was on day 327 of my new wellness elimination diet, which showed real promise of delivering boatloads of positive energy and shakra cleansing. All you have to do is cut out dairy, grains, carbs, anything with eyes, anything with roots, anything with skin, or anything that is a color, such as green, brown, white, red, orange, yellow, or purple. Beyond that, sky's the limit! It's very freeing, and you get a lot of rest from passing out all the time).
So, as you can see, I was very much in tune with my body -- and more and more insistently, my body was begging, pleading with me: STOP BEING SUCH A VIOLENT MOTHER. Oh, you're not hitting anybody, my body said, but just take a look at your daily routine. What's the first thing you do in the morning? You change your baby's diaper. What do you suppose that signals to her? That what she produces -- what comes out of her own body -- is bad, is offensive, needs to be taken away.
So it was pretty clear that we needed to stop using diapers.
But even then I was not at peace. I didn't feel like I was giving peace. Luckily I still had my nose-blowing doula (the one who helps me feel empowered during allergy season) on speed dial, so I asked her what could be wrong. She was thrilled that I had called -- said she'd been waiting for the moment when I'd be ready to hear her message. She was starting a new movement, she said, and I could get in on the ground floor.
It's called Peaceful Unbirthing, and its premise is simple. We want our children to grow up as loving, non-violent beings. And yet the very first thing we do in the very first moment of their lives is to push them away! Think about it: what does a baby hear when s/he is being born? Push! Push! Push harder!
Welcome to the world, baby. Guess what? Your mother doesn't want you inside her anymore.
Heartbreaking.
Well, I'm putting an end to it. No longer will I be a party to this barbaric, intrinsically antagonistic, adult-centric, probably somehow patriarchal philosophy of birthing. The next time I get pregnant, I'm going to stay pregnant.
Oh, it may be a little uncomfortable as the years go on and the little one turns into a bigger and bigger and bigger one. But isn't that what mothering is all about? It's about never, never, ever doing anything to your child.
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I can almost hear some of my friends tsk tsk-ing that this is really not funny but I think it is hilarious. Sanity people sanity.
Oh my goodness - absolute brilliance. Dying laughing. Researching post-non-birthing clothes and gear… wait, you don’t need any of that. LOVE IT!
I actually think attachment parenting has many great benefits, but like anything, it can be taken to an extreme. And also like any latest trend, its adherents can be judgemental of those who don’t follow the rules. Your hilarious satire is actually not far from how some women actually think, unfortunately.
Me, I liked having my newborn in bed with me - it made all of those middle-of-the-night feedings so much easier: baby cries, pop a boob in his mouth, go back to sleep, he finishes and wakes me up, I turn over and give him the other side - back to sleep!) That ended when my husband got spring allergies and would wake us all up in sneezing fits in the middle of the night. Then baby went down the hall in his crib (horrors!) so Daddy wouldn’t wake him up, anymore.
I also liked carrying my babies around on me, but mostly just because I enjoyed cuddling their soft warm little baby bodies. Plus, they seemed happy about it, and anything that makes your baby happy keeps your family sane. I still cuddle them, even though the oldest is tall enough for roller coasters now. Or is it the other way around? It can be hard to tell.
When I sit down to watch Veggie Tales with my kids, one will inevitably end up on my lap, with the other squished up beside me. And when we settle down to read The Hobbit together, I have to push them off, just so I can see the page.
Considering I was accused by an “ultra-über extreme attachment parent” of causing my child’s autism by not attaching with her enough, I find this hilarious.
And then my captcha: “husband99”
I’m sure he would LOVE me pregnant indefinitely with all the hormonal effects etc…
Oh my gosh, Kristen. Now THERE’S an example of this “hate speech” we keep hearing about.
I love it! And like Misty, I have many friends who will “tsk” their way through this one disapprovingly. :D
i’d miss beer too much.
This might be one of the funniest things you’ve ever written.
No electric chairs in Texas. My home state of Nebraska is the only state left with that form of capital punishment.
I wet my pants. . .
This made my morning. Thank you so much.
I mentioned it in another thread, but again would recommend Dr. John Rosemond’s books(Christian Child Psychologist)He’s the anti-dote to uber-attachment parenting.
I don’t follow everything he recommends either, but he provides good balance from a different perspective.
And either because he identifies himself as a Christian psychologist, or because his views are not politically correct, our local paper dropped his weekly column several years ago.
I love this.
The word attachment makes me cringe so I never really bought into that paradigm. However many of my friends did and I was constantly looking for proof that my stroller was turning my son into a psychopath while they were forming the next Ghandi in a sling. Then one day a friend of mine was upset because someone had taught her son to say “Ewww! Stinky!” when his dirty diaper was changed. I laughed saying “Yeah, that could get old,” but then she explained that she did not want him to have negative associations with anything his body did naturally. At that moment I was freed of all conflict or guilt. If your parenting theory requires you to shelter your child from the fact that their !@#$% stinks, it isn’t for me.
Hilarious. Thank you.
At least you didn’t send your kid to daycare like I do…baby prison, you know.
Laziness has saved me from much of this. And now that my older kids are old enough to be judged decent and interesting people, I have built-in justification to keep on with my lazy ways.
This was absolutely hilarious. Thanks for writing it!
This was awesome. I do a lot of attachment parenting but I am amazed at just how far some people I know take things. You’re not far off at all. Hilarious.
“Kefir is people, too!”
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Love it!
Wow. You’re either hysterical or offensive. Strangely, I can’t decide which…
I’m an “attachment parenting fan”...love Dr. Sears and so on…but I thought this was hilarious!
I was totally surprised by the ending on this. I didn’t know how you could top off the first half, but you did it! Next time I will try to not let the baby out so that she knows just how much I love controlling her, I mean, holding her.
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There is another trend in parenting called The Nurtured Heart Approach. I wrote about it here: http://lettersto.us/archives/468. Let’s just say that it involves a knife!
Attachment parenting is all well and good. The problems Simcha parodies so brilliantly have their root in parents losing sight of the fact that parenting isn’t supposed to keep your child happy 24/7. Parenting is supposed to promote your child’s maturation. There’s a delicate balance between this sort of hysterical over protectiveness and challenging them beyond their individual capacity and needs.
@Kathleen: I looked up John Rosemond: he is nuts. I’m all about discipline/not coddling/making parents the authority, and my kids are practically legends around here for their good behavior, but it is INSANE to give a three year old a one week time out for a temper tantrum. If you want good discipline books, try Love and Logic or Dr. Ray Guarendi. They recognize that disciplining children isn’t actually about the parents’ ego or getting even.
Your best ever, Simcha.
MightyMighty ,
I don’t follow any one “expert” on child rearing but think that, selectively speaking, John Rosemond, Ray Guarendi, Dr. Dobson, etc all have good advice for parents.“Attachment parenting” has value, too-up to a point, after which it becomes faddish & silly.As Miss Simcha illustrates.
Common sense is the child rearing approach I prefer.
PS: Here’s Dr. Rosemond’s site in case anyone’s interested:
http://www.rosemond.com/index.html
MightyMighty ,
Thank you for the “Nurtured Heart” info. They state it’s not behavior modification but reading through their material it follows the basic premise of rewarding with attention & affirmation positive behavior, & ignoring negative behaviors.Which makes a lot of sense-up to a point, again.
You are hysterical! This totally made my day.
How’s about everyone just allows parents to use a little common sense and do what works for their families? Wouldn’t that be nice? There’s nothing to prove, people; just get those kids to 18 alive and whole, if you can. And try to enjoy them in the meantime…I mean, when they’re not barfing or stuffing your toilets...
And Rosemond is awesome. I LOVE his Teenproofing book. Extremely smart and sensible.
laughted out loud…great stuff…lost my guilt beacause I was a “crib” mom..my kids didn’t like sleeping in the middle!! LOL!! And a stoller mom…and they are AWESOME adults…just sayin…!! Thanks Simcha!!
I’d like to say this is the funniest thing you’ve ever written, but it’s just not true. You have written such hilarity it’s simply wrong to compare them all. Excellent job. I think I can safely say I’m not attached enough haha.
Note to self: Never read Simcha’s blog with a partially full bladder while pregnant, because you will likely wet yourself laughing. Thank you so much for this piece, I thoroughly enjoyed it!
It’s called satire, people.
—written by the most gung ho attachment parenting woman ever.
p.s. The Nurtured Heart approach is excellent for kids with extreme challenges (esp adhd, FAS, etc.). If a child is threatening others wuth a knife, it isn’t working. Common sense, don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.
Oh, I didn’t say so—but this IS funny.
suburbancorrespondent ,
I agree.Pick & choose what advice works for your family & filter it thru common sense & Christian values.
There have always been fads in child rearing & perhaps more so recently since extended families no longer live together & grandma’s not close by to help out the new mom.(My own grandma’s advice was to bring home a bucket of beer from the local tavern for the nursing mom after childbirth.Good luck advocating that today.)
Wouldn’t it be nice just once,to see a column of readers’ helpful hints for child rearing? Just a list, with no opposing comments or accusations of child abuse or apostasy following in the combox. Dream on I guess…
With all of these so called experts on parenting out there one wonders how humanity has survived for so long without their expert advice…
I’m kind of scared by all the referals to Rosemond. He thinks it is impossible for children to suffer from mental illness. As someone who very much went through trials with mental illness as a child, I think that’s a very very very very very very dangerous position to hold.
And you know, normally I have no problem with satire. but this time, it’s rubbing me the wrong way. and I don’t consider myself to be particularly attachment parenting. maybe it’s that I feel like I couldn’t choose that if I wanted to, because I’d be mocked by fellow Catholics?
I know what this is! It’s the weeding out of the nut jobs who lack irony/satire/chill-the-frig-out genes. And them, WHAM, I say we get ‘em.
But then again, I gave my kids bottles. Yeah, rubber nipples on the Bailey’s.
What?
Soooooo funny!!!! (And we’re all into the attachment parenting thing, but we also know that every family is different, every kid is different, and all the stuff that works for us can’t be universalized. And we don’t take it as a personal attack on our choices when someone else makes a different decision from ours!) Thanks for the morning chuckle…
This is going to keep me going all summer. Hilarious.
Thanks for this Simcha! Your posts always appear at ideal moments in my life. I’ve just been thoroughly raked over the coals by some moms from a homeschooling group for a genuine question about appropriate/ inappropriate play. Evidently, even discussing why I find the play inappropriate with my kids is bad. Thanks for bringing me back to earth!
Just as long as everyone realizes that some people have very good reasons for doing some of these things that are their own personal parenting choices. It’s really nobody’s business to criticize anyone else’s choice of how to parent. For instance, I never used an infant capsule or baby seat because I found them awkward, bulky and cumbersome- I felt bad for all the people I saw lugging around one of those things- it made me walk in this weird, zombie like gait! So I started using a baby wrap and it made my life soooo much easier- and you know what, my little guy liked being close to me, there’s no crime in that!
We co slept because it was just easier than getting up 6 times a night to walk down the hall to breastfeed. When he was ready, around 18 months, we transitioned him to a crib, and he didn’t mind the change at all, no tears or anything.
It’s all about what works for you as a parent- your choices in parenting are sacred and it’s nobody’s business which way you swing- if you want to do the attachment thing, you do that. If it’s not your cup of tea, don’t. But the sarcasm and criticism is not appreciated on either side. Thanks.
Just so you know, I just read this aloud to my husband, who loved it too. I have a feeling my close friend who’s way into AP is going to find it hilarious as well. I like the way it starts out sort of normal sounding….and suddenly you are fermenting grain in your pits. :)
@Kathleen, I definitely see why it’s not a cop-out to take what works for you and leave the rest. (I used to think that because it’s the mantra of people whose children are throwing totally age-inappropriate fits, and the stuff they keep is the cuddling and the stuff they leave is the discipline.)
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I also agree with Suburban Correspondant that it all needs to go through your Christian filter. Some advice might get results, but is not actually moral to practice, like terrorizing your kids so they’re too afraid to act up. (In my opinion, Rosemond’s scorched earth approach to 3-year-olds falls into this category.)
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@Rachel: that had to be really hard. I’m sure that it doesn’t help that 1.) there are nuts who claim that there is NO such thing as mental illness in children and 2.) there are nuts out there who want to turn every annoying childhood behavior into a mental illness, which only makes light of your real problems. I’m saying a prayer for your family right now.
Oh my gosh, by the time I got to the line about keeping the kefir grains warm in your armpits, I just about cracked a rib from laughing. Hilarious! Wish I had read this a year ago…
Well done!!! Pray for guidance and do what it takes to get your kids to heaven. Doesn’t really matter if they get there in a stroller or a Moby!!
Jenny, if you’re reading…I freaking LOVE your comment!!! $%&! stinks…the earlier in life you know that, the better off you are:)
Ha, ha. This was a most excellent and funny post. I think your idea about not giving birth would make a funny movie or story. For some reason, I think the unborn child would be a man. He would learn to talk and start begging the mother to give birth to him, though at other times, he would prefer the security of the womb. It would be difficult for him to speak in the ambiotic fluid, I suppose.
This is awesome!
We follow AP to a point. What I like most about Dr. Sears is that he offers alternate ways to do some things, but he always says that you have to do what works best for your family and the individual baby/child. There’s some common sense. Simcha is right about how some people have turned it into Extreme Attachment Parenting, which then becomes about the parent and not about the child.
Also, I think I could be the mom who doesn’t give birth since I go past 42 weeks without the baby dropping or my body showing any signs of ever going into labor so I have to have a c-section. Talk about kicking out the baby before he’s ready to be born!!! No love there. You can forget about the bonding and nursing after letting them slice and dice you to get that baby out!! Who cares that he’s close to 10 lbs and is born as a toddler - clearly, he wasn’t ready if your body isn’t birthing him!!!
As a kefir drinking, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, baby-wearing mama I think this is…...hilarious!! I was just telling my sister that your blog is my favorite thing to check online and you definitely didn’t disappoint.
@Kaitlin, I need to know. Do people actually ferment kefir grains themselves? Using their own body heat? :)
What would our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents had done without all the myriad ‘parenting strategies’ and books written on the subject of how to be a parent. Oh, wait…
The insane two-sided coin of 21st century America: One one side we love to a crazy-obsessive-degree our children with one nonsense trend after another. And well, we know the other sad side.
“A Family of Value” by John Rosemond is one of the best (if not the best) parenting book I have ever read.
:D Kefir in the armpits??? How on earth did you come up with that? I’ve lived in Fairfax CA—the most granola-ist place on the planet, that incubated the American Taliban kid. I thought I’d heard all things hippy already!
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My parenting approach is called: “survival”. If at times I appeared to be a cave woman, it’s because not only did the gear not work, but I gave 95% of it away when it took up more square footage than all of our bodies. When people find out how many kids I have, they say, “OMG, you must have easy pregnancies! You must have easy births! You must be an EXPERT!”...and I says, I says to them: “No..no…and NO!! The more I know, the more I know I don’t KNOW! (Especially when considering the sass on some of those attachment teenagers.)
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I can barely even discuss birth, without my heart rate rising. How on God’s green earth can there be an entire show based on women not knowing they are pregnant? Or drop the kid in their pant leg with a sneeze at the bank??? I guess if you can do that, than you can stake out the alpha female position of enlightened, transcendental, solitary birth guru…. One of my husband’s favorite stories at parties is describing me in labor at check in, abusing nurses about available anesthesiologists. To which I say, “hey, if you’re not your own advocate, who’s gonna be it, if you’re DYING, and your husband is eating a turkey sandwich,while he jokes with the doctors and plays with the equipment?
The irony is just dripping like venom from the fangs of a snake on this one. Normally, I love what you write, but the implications in this post were - how shall I put it? - unfair? No, life’s not fair.. unjust? No, no one was morally violated… unwarranted? Yes, unwarranted, because there really was no reason for this post, other than to vent your own bitter feelings regarding attachment parenting. Like breastfeeding, it’s a lifestyle choice, and like tandem, prolonged breastfeeding, it’s a lifestyle choice many Catholic mothers like myself chose. Of course, there is something to be said about balance, and God knows I don’t spend every second of every minute of every day with my babies, but still. If you have an opinion, I’d love to read it. I enjoy your posts. But this post? Eh. Not so much. God bless. :-)
Oh my goodness….Can moms not have a sense of humor?
anna lisa ,
I’m guilty of yelling at the nurses, too.I also burned my bridges with the OB-Gyn.
Carmen, I’m the boobiest long-term breastfeeder.—Well, to three a couple of times. (Not like my mom’s maid who was nursed to NINE!) I wear them in slings,(it’s easier!) co-sleep with them (I’m tired!) and inadvertently have flashed some of that bounty in places I’d rather not think about (suck it up you uptight puritans!). Simcha is laughing at manias, not attachment parenting.
I’m with Carmen. Didn’t see the humor in this one.
FINALLY permission not to “attachment parent”! Thank you! This was hilarious but unfortunately, some of the AP people can take themselves way too seriously and won’t get it. Although we did some co-sleeping I fed with a bottle, used a stroller and all the other said devices, never bought a sling, and basically did everything “wrong.”. We did not do child-centric parenting. We did family-centric parenting - what worked best for the family as a whole. My kids (all boys) are older now and are sensitive, loving, well-behaved and charitable. Thanks to homeschooling, lots of affection and attention from mom and dad, and a strong faith life, these kids are the most bonded kids I know.
wonderful. Now I can say we’ll talk babywearing when my interlocutor is wearing a Mega Baby like my 2nd—11 lbs at birth, 24lbs at 8 months. After the first back MRI and neuro appt, the stroller started to look a lot “kinder” than not being able to pick him up bc I couldn’t stand up.
@Jen, I hear you! I hit the same mark and induction it was, despite hours of walking, birth-ball grooving, etc. Granted, when I tell women I birthed an 11 lb baby naturally, that usually shuts down the conversation :-P **by naturally, I mean waiting until about 5 seconds before pushing to get an epidural, but hey, whatever. He was 11 lbs and his shoulder got stuck.
It’s not a criticism of YOUR personal decisions that work for your family. It’s a satire, critiquing the crazies we have all met while learning the ropes of parenthood. Just because someone can recognize the over the top ridiculous when she sees it doesn’t mean anyone thinks YOU are a bad person. Relax!
Simcha, you’re just raising hell this week :) It’s great.
Oh, that was superb! I freely admit (to my kids!) that I’m a horrible mother who has ruined them with everything from cribs and the occasional bottle to (gasp) video games. Just contributing to the age-old tradition of Blaming Your Parents For How Messed Up You Are!
MOTHERS LET GO (an off-the-cuff-ditty)
Hold on to your little ones,
Swaddle them tight.
Be close by both day and night;
But listen to the voices that whisper so: Mother’s let go, oh, Mothers let go.
Oh, play with your little ones
And teach them right.
Keep them always in your sight.
Bundle them up when they play in the snow.
And always remember; Mothers let go. Yes. Mothers let go.
Parenting’s rife with its own kind of fright.
The baby you cuddled takes off like a kite.
And we smile wisely and say it is so.
Mothers let go. We do. We let go.
Oh my gosh, Simcha. As a crunchy mom who parents nonviolently, I find this funny beyond belief. I AM Dying laughing at some of the extremes we go to. “You have to laugh at yourself, cause you’ll cry your eyes out if you don’t.”
I’m multi tasking right now, cooking a beurre blanc and making beef stew at the same time—yes, it’s COLD here. There is still maple syrup stuck to the dining room table from the Belgian Waffles (and organic blueberries!). My little girl is still in her PJs. I just peeled half of them off of screens, but still have two to hunt down who escaped with laptops. I’ve broken up one fight. All of this proves that while I am talented, I’m not the super bestiest Mom on earth. To make matters worse, despite all of this feverish activity, I’m slightly bored. Here’s my low-budget solution to watching my kids fight (Charlotte is presently beating her cousin over the head with a plastic toy case):
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*Ladies, BREAST IS BEST*
“It’s about never, never, ever doing anything to your child.”
Yes we could be devolving to the status of herrings - cast our spawn on the oceans - half a million per pregnancy and three years later there’s a reasonable chance of one female and one male survivor being around to keep the process going.
Nice piece of ironic writing Simcha
my first thought, when reading some comments about wetting one’s pants while laughing from reading the post, was that this only goes to show the evil-ness of pants!
(not really. but i’m sure someone will think so.)
Okay Anna Lisa, this settles it. I’m moving in with you. Can we go back to the part about “it’s cold here”? I’m at the point where one more day over 85 degrees is going to put me over the edge.
Thank you for making me laugh at myself! I am a crazy Catholic (with a big C) munchy, crunchy mama who brews her own kombucha and ferments raw milk kefir too. I have nursed all four kids till they were 3. Heck I even had a home birth and I found your essay HILARIOUS! Thanks for the laugh I needed it. I just signed my kids up for public school because I couldn’t do it and had to admit to myself. Thanks for the reality check.
When I was pregnant with my first I read the Sears Baby Book and Babywise back to back. Then I put the two books facing each other on a shelf so they could duke it out. Now I get all my parenting advice from blogs. ;)
I totally read “I let the pediatric industrial complex push me around like PRAWN.”
Brilliant! When my last one was born I spent a good part of the labor alternately yelling and grunting, “Get out! Get out! Get out of me!” He seems OK at 5 years old, but I’m sure he’ll be in therapy over it one of these days.
Oh dear. Well, perhaps my comment was harsh. Let me explain myself. The first sentence was something I used to say about my own sense of humor, which is “dripping sarcasm” (yes, I even used the snake venom to describe it, so it’s a compliment, really; got me in lots of trouble with my dad, by the way - hehe!). I was laughing originally when I started reading this, but the more I read, the less I laughed. :-( I don’t hold it against anyone. I’m not the most “attached” parent either (I spend more time NOT playing with my kids, and I love my metrolite stroller). But certain statements gave me pause. Remember, ironic humor reflects how you really think. Still enjoy reading your blogs, Simcha. God bless all.
I really don’t think Simcha was criticizing attachment parenting per se (she’s mentioned in the past that she breastfeeds, co-sleeps, etc). Her use of ironic humor on this occasion is speaking to the extreme cases where people interpret and apply their parenting styles so dogmatically that they fear any deviation could be traumatic to their kids (and judge other parents who deviate as traumatizing their kids as well). And this extremism does exist. As an adoptive mother who bottle-fed, I have been the victim of it (and yes, I know that adoptive breastfeeding is possible; it was not an option for me for a variety of reasons, but I would like to think that I would have breastfed into toddlerhood if I had had a child biologically). My son is extremely attached and the most affectionate child I know. I also love my Metrolite stroller, and often used it with him facing me since the infant carrier carseat strapped right into it, but after a while I thought it would be more interesting for him to face outward so he could see more things. Babywearing is great, but people who criticize the use of strollers are a perfect example of extremism. (And I know this extremism occurs with other parenting styles as well.) Like MM, we do family-centric parenting (love that term MM, I hope you don’t mind that I stole it!) rather than subscribing to one particular parenting philosophy. In my house, there is only one catechism that we follow to the T.
No disagreement there. I’m relatively new to Simcha’s blog, and genuinely love what I read, but I’m not familiar with her earlier blogs, or her blogs about her co-sleeping, etc, so you can see why it would bring pause. I’m sure that once I read more, this will become funnier. I do love a good satire. And, yeah, I was one of those stroller-criticizing baby-wearers (of course, I was a single mom as well), but there’s nothing quite like motherhood to mature a person. Haha. I love my Ergo, Maya Wrap and my stroller (which is the most beaten up of them all. Haha!). They all have their place. Now that we are a family, balance is the name of the game. But back to the topic at hand…. Or was that it? Nevermind. I haven’t had enough coffee, and at this point, I have no idea what I’m talking about.
@Claire! Over 85 degrees? HA! The majority of days here in MD since July first have been 95 or up….with a humidity crank-up of the high 90’s into the 100’s. Without an a/c, and with my spreading waistline, I think I might die here if there isn’t some relief soon. Hubby keeps saying, :“f we move to Portland, it won’t be like this!” and I say, “Yeah, in Portland we would be surrounded by those crazy hippy freebirthing, 6-year-old nursing, attachment parents!!!!”
Disclaimer: I too am a homebirthing, long-nursing lover of slings..who also loves a stroller, fast food, and will have any future children in the hospital so I can lie in bed and get somebody to bring me food for two days.
God bless you, Corita! We’ve had our share of 95 degree days here in upstate NY, but I know it’s much worse in your neck of the woods. I myself detest anything over 85, as I mentioned. I also don’t have central AC, and rely on deafening window units which are freezing when you’re right in front of them, but do little to cool of the southwest corners of my house. So I’m pretty cranky this time of year. How you live down there without AC is beyond me! (Time off from purgatory…)
Carmen: yes, if you’re not familiar with Simcha, I can see how you might have thought she was anti-AP. Please do stick around. Her blog is priceless!
Everyone at my place! It’s 59 degrees and it just rained….I made enough stew for 20 and the shrimp beurre blanc is divine. $5 Fridays for a huge roasted turkey breast, so I bought two—and made a billion sandwiches on sourdough…No more cooking till Monday!! (Thumping my chest on Mommy mountain) Okay, I admit it,I DO smell shrimpy, and I bit off way too much with eight kids underfoot. Other than Simcha’s dry wit my day was somewhat…sucky? TGIF.
Yes Anna Lisa, I think I remember you enticing me in the past with tales of your gourmet cooking, and now you’re throwing in the 59 degree thing. I’ll be right over, and I’ll even babysit the 8 kids!
@MightyMighty. Yes, we ferment our own grains. No, we do not use body heat. :)
Simcha, Thank you for this! There are very few non-AP Catholic moms out there(at least it feels that way). I’m the lone ranger ‘round these parts and sometimes feel like I have the plague. This was hilarious and I laughed my tukus off!
I have to admit, I was not truly sure about whether you were joking until I read the line about grain in the armpits. The pediatrician part of me was reaching for the Tums. And I confess. I did NOT breastfeed my children, although there is a perfectly reasonable, artificial hormonal way I could have breastfed an adopted 9 and 20 month old child respectively. They may have my stethoscope for this one.
Kathleen, I think I actually know the reason Rosemond’s column was dropped—as it was from our paper as well. Apparently he patched together a composite of some old columns without disclosing it, so it was passed off as new, but someone figured it out. I didn’t realize this was a big deal, but I have it on good authority (a fairly conservative person who was sorry to see him go, no less) that it is a breach of journalistic ethics.
Since the dawn of time offspring have gone through their developmental stages where said offspring have profound distain for their parents and think they are stupid. My kids right now hate me and think Im stupid. I was rather “attached” to them even though I never called it that. Do these folks really thing their kids wont hate them and think they are stupid?
I’ve had med free childbirths for the first batch but decided to treat myself to an epidural for #6. When I realized that it didn’t take and I would have to go through labor again I started screaming “NOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!” loudly enough that it brought my husband running from a different part of the hospital and couldn’t stop until after she was born.
Now I am reflecting that may not have been a pleasant way for someone to enter the world. Would sprouting kefir help now, or is it too late?
I didn’t know NC Register was partisan (with your Republican executioner comment). Thanks for letting me know it is. I will let all my blog readers know this and stop reading NC Register.
Excellent. Nice to see that common sense, if no longer common, still raises its head from time to time. I live in an ant colony of a country in which mandatory parenting skill classes are being seriously considered…irrespective of one’s education and background…. . Classes will be enforced because whether or not parents will be eligible to receive child-related grants will be linked to whether or not they attend parenting skills classes.
It’s the first time I’m hearing about Rosemond, but if he believes a child can’t suffer from mental illness he’s dangerous and way, way mistaken and nothing he says should be taken seriously. I’ve suffered from severe, untreated clinical depression my whole childhood and adolescence, and believe me it wan’t pretty.
Else, this piece is hysterical (from an AP-ish mother).
“If your parenting theory requires you to shelter your child from the fact that their !@#$% stinks, it isn’t for me.”
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Nuff said.
I don’t get it. Maybe I’m a little slow today…
What was the point of the article, I was reading it with one eye closed- a bit horrified and amused at the same time, at all your analogies. Truly!
I think though, that extremities do come in waves, and attachment parenting is a backlash to the mums that returned to work after 6weeks. Both extremes just ridiculous.
I hate opinions and “experts”. Butt out of how I parent! And on top of that, I get heart palpitations every time I have a child, because with every new baby the nurse In the hospital wants to “teach” me how to change nappies (diapers), and get the baby to latch on. I say, Bugger off! I’ve done it a hundreds of times (and yes, I do on occasion, say it).
@D. A. Howard. SATIRE. She’s making a joke. SATIRE.
“Eventually we became clothes free, the two of us…”
And moved to a nudist colony?
Ahahahaha. ;‘D
A satire based on complete reality. Anyone who has been part of the birthing-parentibng scene, even remotely since 1970, can identify with this.
Having spent 30 years as a maternal-child health nurse, while raising 6 children, I finally realized that the majority of those ideas Simcha is touching on came from some nurse master’s thesis or some resident’s obligatory “research” that was poorly done with results based more on wishful thinking than reality.
It’s really quite sad that parents have bought in to believing they need to take a course to: get pregnant, maintain the pregnancy, deliver the baby, bond with the baby, feed the baby, breastfeed the baby(with support group included, of course), play with the baby, exercise with the baby, find the right playgroup, find the right pre-school, get the right reading program(for the infant, that is), learn how to interview the teacher, fight for the child’s school “experience,” choose the right sports, etc, etc, etc.
Are we surprised the world is so crazy - it starts in the home, with the parents.
Didn’t even know there was a name for following my instincts when I had my first child. I didn’t have the advantage of extended family to follow. I was a much-later child, raised as an only. Two working parents, and was never around other babies AT ALL. I did know when I married that I wanted to be an at-home mom, and nursing looked like the right thing to do for many reasons. That said, I just did what seemed right, and we were a happy family unit. Hubby and I have six kids. Yes, we have a couple with autism. I don’t believe for a moment that anything we did or didn’t do caused it. I see how my extended family is, and yep, there’s autism out there! That’s life. And if my kids need therapy because I chose the opposite path of my parents, well, then, maybe that’s just life. I had enough therapy to figure out how to grow up in this wacky world, and they can have their turn, too. Ha. Fun post. Always entertaining to read something by you, Simcha!
That was an absolute gem!
Scared the snot out of me at first….thinking this was a serious article!!!
I think this article is written in poor taste because it essentially makes a mockery of a mother’s sacrifice for her child. I have so called “attachment parented” all my children but I prefer to simply think of it as loving them. Certainly it is more convenient to let children cry it out in a crib, to do dishes & laundry without a child strapped to our front or back. So why wouldn’t every mom choose to do what is most convenient? It mmust be because they believe by making these sacrifices themeselves they hope to benefit their child in a significant way. We may not all feel called to be mother Theresa but I think we can all recognize the labor of love of her life for love of God. I realize “attachment parenting” is not every mom’s thing & I think the implication of my example is obvious & why moms who dont mother in tjat way choose to condemn or mock it but I think as moms we should all uphold the dignity of motherhood & the inherent nature of its self sacrifice however you choose to employ that.
Debunking! Honest debunking. How refreshing. Debunking from a posit of experience. I am encouraged.
This article screams sarcasm and does not reflect well on EWTN.
I think this should be performed as a play, in a dark theater, with sawing violins and a single spotlight.
Never understood why in the world someone would read a baby-raising/parenting book???
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Is Dr. Sears, Ezzo, et al the parent of YOUR child?? Your children were given to YOU by God. Parent with common sense, intuition, love, and utilize the graces that come the sacrament of matrimony, and for heaven’s sake don’t take yourself so seriously!
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Try to do a good job as a Catholic parent. Who the heck cares how your friend parents and quit whining that you don’t feel supported in your choice. You’re the mom; just grow a pair already!
Whatever I do, my children insist on resembling me.
@Laura I just want to say a brief word on why someone would read a baby-raising/parenting book…because believe it or not, though it should not be the case, some of us never had a chance to see people raising children. I think most of the natural intutions/common sense are supposed to come from being raised in family, around other families, and learning from that experience. I was the youngest in my entire extended family, and socked away in school with kids my own age for many years, didn’t have friends with little siblings or large families, etc., so my entire experience with babies was a couple of instances babysitting them. I had a college degree but I didn’t know what babies were like, what they need, why they did what they did, anything. Totally retarded in that regard. So I am endlessly grateful to Dr. Sears for all his descriptions, with pencil sketches, and his reassurances that I could do it and I didn’t need to worry. I know it is hard to believe that someone could actually enter marriage with that degree of scary cluelessness, but it is possible and I don’t think I’m the only one these days. And even for those who aren’t so clueless, sometimes it is good to have a reference for trouble-shooting; we often go ask someone older/more experienced, and an author is another person who might have good ideas.
“Maybe it was all the kefir grains I kept in my armpits (they have to be stored at exactly the proper temperature, or else they feel rejected and refuse to ferment. Kefir is people, too, folks!)”
This is possibly the most amusing thing I have read all week.
Aha! Gotcha. Satire. Haven’t seen one of those in a while (hence a little slow off the mark).
I must be out of touch (okay, I know I’m out of touch) but I didn’t even know they’re was criticism of using strollers. Seriously? Nobody in AP-land has a bad back?
My babes are in their twenties now, but oh, how I wish I had read this before they were born. Maybe it would have knocked some sense into my paranoid, confused head a helped me to relax a bit. Thanks for the laugh!
@Corita: It was 103 in the greater Portland (OR) area yesterday!
My daughter learned in religious ed that the root of the word “sarcasm” is “ripping of the flesh”. Sarcasm is unkind, because it mocks other people, and is an affront to their dignity—a ripping of their flesh. It seems to me that sarcasm is SO ingrained in our culture that it is difficult for many people to avoid (which is why it was a topic in religious ed).
Simcha, you are a smart and witty lady, and I do not mean to put you down. I could not do what you do. I don’t have the gift for writing, or for humor, that you do. I really admire those gifts. Probably, you are the kind of person who is not easily offended and would just laugh it off if someone else said or wrote something sarcastic which touched on your lifestyle. I think your intent in writing this article WAS good, and I do think you intended to poke fun at extremism, not at individuals. However, behind the extremism are human beings who practice “extreme” attachment parenting. Respectfully, I wish that your legitimate point, that it is possible to dogmatically follow a parenting philosophy with the kind of devotion we should reserve only for God and our faith, could have been made in a way which could not be taken as mocking anyone.
I hope my comments do not appear to belittle you in any way. I write to you with respect because I believe that you are the type of person who would wish to read this opinion and have the chance to consider it, rather than never know that anyone could take your article in a way other than what you intended. I know you did not intend to hurt or mock any individuals.
Sincerely and respectfully,
Angela
Fellow Mom Angela,
It’s not so much sarcasm as absurdity.Maybe not everyone’s style of humor, but even Catholic moms are allowed to have a brain & think for themselves.And laugh at themselves.
Folks taking themselves too seriously is what worries me more than satire.
NO, it was sarcasm aimed at absurdity. I think Angela is exactly right and said it perfectly so I won’t elaborate, only agree.
“I dont deserve any credit for turning the other check as my tongue is always in it”
Flannery O’Connor
:)
Sorry, typo-that should have been turning the other CHEEK.
:)
Just one more:
“Only if we are secure in our beliefs can we see the comical side of the universe”
-Flannery O’Connor
I think those moms who are taking offense at this article need more sleep. Seriously, things are funnier when you’ve had some rest.
Some of these comments prove that people really have lost their mind :) I appreciated this article so much. Keep writing funny, witty articles like this! Brings great joy to many, and the ones that fail to see the joy, ‘God save us from sad-faced saints!‘Theresa of Avila!
Ohhhhhh perfect. My daughter was wondering why scrambling eggs was so funny. What I was thinking about the response my son should give to the people on Craig’s list who answered his query about housing in Berkeley. They said: “You sound like a nice guy, if you would like us to consider you as a room mate, you must be friendly to the GBLT lifestyle, and not bring any animal products into our house.” Now I know what his response needs to be, and it has to do with Kefir. :D !
Love your articles Simcha, but the comments often make want to gently point out that seeking to find fault is a vice, not a virtue. Not sure how to point it out without opening myself up to the same charge. :)
If I had not learned to give the benefit of the doubt, to try to understand what others were saying the way they understand it, and to not so often look for fault; I would never have been able to open my mind and my heart to the Catholic Church.
I’m sorry to be brutal, but I’m going to say this and then duck: I think *extreme* devotion to AP (and probably other philosophies, as well) is ultimately motivated by a mother’s pride (and most likely the result of some sort of insecurity). 90% of the extremist don’t just quietly parent their children this way; they talk endlessly about themselves and how important their sacrifices are. They are quick to take offense and always quick to judge. Ironically, though, their hard smiles betray an unhappiness which I suspect would be solved by not being so rigid.
...and I will walk out onto the plank even farther:
I think the same insecurity I mentioned above is the same one that the women’s magazines play on to sell their product. Don’t forget Dr. Spock and his exploding list of successors in the last 60 years are peddling a product and a way of life for their own gain. It does not hurt these guy’s bottom-line ($$$) to have anxious mothers (who have adopted their philosophies) returning repeatedly to their books to figure out what to do next.
I think Rosemond’s point is that mental illness/behavioral disorders are way over-diagnosed in the child/adolescent population. He advocates trying his methods first; if those don’t work, then perhaps there is a deeper problem. In reading his books, one has to understand that he is reacting to the overly child-centered advice of the 70’s and 80’s which produced beleaguered parents and bratty children. He’s just trying to get back to common sense first; of course, if that isn’t enough, one should seek professional mental health advice.
TeenProofing cracks me up. Don’t miss it!
Where do I find a nose-blowing doula? What about butt wiping ones? Lol this was so so so good. I knew it was satire with the first line. Seriously—you are such a great writer. And we attachment parent but old school attachment parenting. Not what it is now—and what the heck is wrong with babies facing away from you??? I got so sick of ergo’s posts and people defending that baby is overwhelmed looking outward… Let’s just place them in sacks. I am mostly a lazy parent. As in whatever works and is easiest and won’t produce an emotionally stunted child. Such a fun read simcha! Excellent.
So, so funny! And I can laugh because my darling kids are(horrors!) in their own beds! I always felt that the Sears books were written in the spirit of, “These are some things you can do. But YOU know your own child and should do what works best for YOUR family.” The unspoken message is that you also shouldn’t harass those who do what’s best for THEIR families.
I find it disheartening that so many commenters are mocking those who do not find this funny (e.g., “you’re insecure”, “you’ve lost your mind”,“you need some more sleep”). Honestly, on a Catholic website, can we be respectful to one another?
It is also disheartening to find mocking and criticism of attachment parenting. While it is true that any philosophy can be followed with the kind of devotion which should be reserved only for Jesus and our faith, most people I know who practice AP (myself included) do not preach about it, but are preached AT by others. During 20+ years of raising children, I cannot tell you how many times a well meaning person has criticized me for wearing our babies in slings, not having an undying urge to go out and leave the babies behind, not being more punishment oriented, and home schooling in a gentle way. Our oldest three children are now in college, and none are “spoiled” as the doomsayers predicted; all hold down responsible part time jobs, and help others in their free time. All are faithful Catholics, and happy, fun loving young people.
Some commenters are mocking those who read parenting books, and I think I understand why. Modern parenting books often focus on technique; parenting books of the past (e.g., Ames and Ilg’s series) tended to focus on understanding child development. Knowing about child development is really useful, and it is based on observations of thousands upon thousands of children at various ages and stages. Dr. Sears tends to incorporate both into his writing, and his experience as a father of eight and pediatrician is really valuable. Some commenters suggest that reading parenting books is a mark of insecurity, but I consider it wise to seek the advice of someone who knows more than I do about something I am trying to do. His books helped me quite a lot along the way.
Finally, someone suggested that AP is motivated by the mother’s pride. That is utterly baffling. God gave me the most important responsibility He could possibly give to a human being when He allowed me to be a mother. I am humbled by this responsibility and do not want to make any really egregious errors if I can help it (although I know I will continue to make some errors because I am human and imperfect). Seeking advice and giving this job my all are not motivated by pride, but by gratitude. I find that to be true of everyone I know who lives the way I do.
I hope this comes across in the respectful way I intend it.
Sincerely,
Angela
Angela,
It’s not personal.
Comments that disagree or express other ideas are exercising free speech.Hopefully in charity.
We can choose to learn from other views on childrearing & enjoy differing types of humor.Or not.
Posted by suburbancorrespondent on Monday, Aug 6, 2012 11:17 PM (EST): In reading his books, one has to understand that he is reacting to the overly child-centered advice of the 70’s and 80’s which produced beleaguered parents and bratty children.”
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Did that end in the 70’s & ‘80’s??? I don’t think parents in my community ever got the memo….
:)
Kathleen, you’ve hit on exactly one of the reasons that poking fun at these people who neurotically idolize certain methods of parenting; they grew up in a time that encouraged parents to NOT parent. So, these people, many of them anyway, *were never really parented*. How confusing must it be then to become a parent yourself and have no idea what your role is? Heap on top of the non parenting the fact that many parents were not even around, fathers especially, and there weren’t the number of big families of the past where you’d gain baby knowledge by being a sibling, you see that these new parents are in a very precarious position. Add to that the internet and all it’s information you have a big mess. You have to see that this is reactionary to an opposite type of extremism. I am so glad that I had no internet until I had my 3rd child because I was saved from the opinion vomit on the web. I had no idea that breastfeeding (which I had grown up seeing my mother do with all of my siblings) and using wraps (again, my mom was the example) were controversial. Is it humorous on some level that they think that kefir grains in their armpits and not using a stroller is important? Yes. Extremism is often humorous in it’s wackiness. I can see that but I can also appreciate the fact that these are deeply wounded people. Then there are the Catholic mom’s who are, with the help of certain AP (aka, the old way of doing things) practices just trying to love RADICALLY in service to their family. Those women (myself included) might laugh through slightly parsed lips because the humor is a little close to home. And that’s the nature of humor; it’s all about the perspective of the audience. It’s not about being uptight or not having enough sleep as many glibly implied. It’s about perspective. And I’d much rather drink kefir than put it in my armpits anyway :)
Shannon,
I like that: “opinion vomit.” Very apt. :)
I think we all become a bit comical when we take things-or our roles- too seriously.A sense of humor makes us more human & open to a different perspective.
And true, new moms don’t have the family & community support they once did, and rarely,the opportunity to learn firsthand caring for younger siblings in a large family.
As a child psychologist and a mom, one of the things that is so misleading about attachment parenting is the name. It is only called attachment parenting because of the theory it was based upon. It is not called this because it is the only form of parenting which allows parents to develop a secure attachment relationship with their children. There are numerous ways to develop a secure attachment relationship with our kids. I explore more of this myth here for anyone who is interested:
http://www.themommypsychologist.com/2012/04/15/what-does-the-mommy-psychologist-have-to-say-about-attachment-parenting/
Can someone please define the term “non-violent parenting” for me? This is a new one I keep seeing pop up all over the web, and yes I know it sounds self-explanatory, but, I think pretty much all the parents I know are not violent but don’t identify/align themselves with a group/Facebook page, etc? What is the deal with this? Thanks! I get so confused over all these new labels and groups and genres that mothers are now expected to identify themselves with. I see some people’s FB pages in the “about” section have statements like “Baby-wearing, co-sleeping, cloth diapering, breastfeeding, non-violent mother”... I am just curious about this need to identify your parenting choices as a way of explaining yourself, like a resume or something. Not knocking it, just trying to understand it all.
Posted by Elaine on Tuesday, Aug 7, 2012 12:49 PM (EST):Can someone please define the term “non-violent parenting” for me?”
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I couldn’t begin to guess.
It reminds me of a disturbing experience I had years ago visiting a parent who was deep into the progressive childrearing theories.Her two rowdy boys fought & screamed at each other during the entire visit, totally ignoring adult attempts at “re-direction” & “child-led decision making.” The frustrated mom ended it by literally knocking both of their heads together.
Ouch.
I loved the article. As a mom of 7 who is a pediatric nurse married to a pediatrician (not in practice) I practiced some of the attachment parenting advice. I even nursed 2 through a pregnancy and the baby who was born was 11 1/2 lbs.(babies in these cases are supposed to be smaller). I never heard about most of these dos and don’ts and was fascinated by all that everyone wrote. I got more tired at the end of all the pregnancies and was comfortable with being more lax about rules. All our kids are very different from each other but all turned out well and are good people. I’m convinced it’s because of prayer and not because of what my husband and I did. I’ve also observed that some pretty wonderful people have come from homes where they were not parented well by some standards and vice-versa. Parents give yourselves a break. Parenting is not new. Enjoy your children!
Elaine, you’ve brought up a very good point. This labeling of oneself according to parenting theory that one follows. This is a new phenomenon. For thousands of years parents could parent without subscribing to some guru’s parenting philosophy. I try not to even read experts’ parenting advice. Here’s my parenting philosophy: I do whatever works. If it’s not working for my family I dump it and do something else. When someone asks me if I follow Sears or Ferber or Guru X I respond, “I follow MM.”
This is the greatest thing I have ever read. Exhausted from a no-sleep night I didn’t catch the tone at first and I thought, “but my daughter seriously does love her crib and stroller!!!” Parenting is so extreme. It’s either this, or people think that you should just birth your baby and let them go to fend for themselves…... Babies make people crazy, and not in a good way! Common sense should not leave with the placenta…..
This was great. Being a mother of 7 BE (before enlightenment), my children were loved, parented, nursed, spanked (don’t report me - it’s too late), nurtured and have grown up to be fantastic parents themselves, albeit not MY way! There’s a bit of following the current belief system, but most are just being normal parents. As I read the above comments, I see where even here adherents to a particular party line have a limited sense of humor, which they really need to cultivate if they want to survive the coming years and the angst that will most surely arrive regardless of how much or little “bonding” has occurred.
Simcha, these articles belong in “Parents Magazine” or ilk. There is not one shred of information on how to form one’s home and family to be modeled in a Catholic setting. There is no indication of daily duties of parents to strengthen their children in the Catholic faith in order to combat the evils of the world. This is a waste of valuable space. Take it where it belongs.
@Minty: Sure there is! Here is a brief synopsis:
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In order to form one’s home and family to be modeled in a Catholic setting, it’s vital to take stock of your point of view every once in a while, and figure out if you’re acting like a lunatic. The Church already has plenty of lunatics.
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The daily duties of parents to strengthen their children in the Catholic faith in order to combat the evils of the world include, in no small part, cultivating a sense of humor, and understanding that not every scrap of life has to be tangibly productive in order to be worthwhile.
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It’s also incredibly important to develop the skill for gleaning good information even if it’s not specifically labelled “Catholic.”
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Let me know if you need any more tips! It sounds like you are just starting out, so don’t feel bad.
Simcha ,
In all seriousness, somewhere, in some Catholic resource, there’s a real need for moms to find & share practical advise on homemaking & family.But too often, online threads just become platforms for folks with agendas or battlegrounds for opposing views.So, it would be a challenge to keep on track.
I’m up for sifting thru piles of secular & non-Catholic sources for help at this point in life,but would have appreciated someone pre-sorting it a bit when I was a younger, busier mom.It’s not a bad idea.
Nuts, I think my comment got eaten. Apologies if this is a double comment.
There is a great resource for this - Faith and Family (faithandfamilylive.com) Each day, there is an open thread where readers can post questions and share advice about a specific topic. Off the top of my head (I forgot which goes on which day, but there’s a regular schedule): homemaking, education, parenting, marriage, NFP, and miscellaneous. It’s not all specifically Catholic (I guess pagans get ketchup out of their flokati rugs just like Catholics do), but much of it is. For instance, there was recently a question about budgeting for groceries, and many of the responses were from people with larger than average families, and/or from single-income families, and/or from women who take their husbands’ requests very seriously—points of view you may not hear as often from your typical secular grocery budgeting discussion.
Thanks, Simcha.
I’ll check it out for me & my grown kids, too.Appreciate the info!
Parents Magazine? (hello, is this 12th-century China? Unreal). Parenting is easy: you leave it to experts until it comes time to bail them out of jail.
Sigh… Thank You. :)
Simcha, When did you leave the Protestant Church?
@Minty - I was baptized when I was about four years old.
Simcha, When did you leave the Protestant Church?
I get that this was written in jest, and I get that extreme anything can be a problem. But, as a parent who DID practice attachment parenting, it stung a little.
My wife and I enjoy your column, but I don’t think I’ll show this one to her.
You should write another column on detachment disorder.
Posted by Dad in NH on Monday, Aug 20, 2012 6:08 AM (EST):You should write another column on detachment disorder.”
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Or humor disorder….
:)
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