Worth Another Look: Joe Versus the Volcano

04/21/2015 Comments (8)

It's always perilous to revisit movies you loved as a kid. Last weekend, we took a chance with  Joe Versus the Volcano (1990). My husband can't stand this movie, and not only because it is so chock full of Meg Ryan, who plays three roles. He says that it's a playwright's movie, which really does explain a lot. He complains that the characters are sloppy and ill-defined, and that many of the lines are delivered on a silver tray labelled "Significant and Memorable!" ("What's with the shoe?" someone asks Joe, who has stumbled and torn the sole on a sharp edge. "I'm losing my soul," he moans.  Womp womp!) And for a movie with "volcano" in the title, you sure had to wade through a lot of movie...READ MORE

Filed under

Love Isn't Supposed to Be Efficient

04/16/2015 Comments (14)

As a mother of lots of kids, I think a lot about treating them fairly. They make sure I think about it a lot:  "Hey, she got more pudding than I did!" "Hey, you never let us watch Jaws when we were that age!" "No fair, he got an extra ten minutes on Minecraft, but I didn't even get to save my chickens!"

It's enough to make you crazy, or crazier. But in a big family, especially, it really is necessary to keep track of things and try to keep them just and fair and evenly distributed. If you don't keep track, you're likely to find out that one especially squeaky kid has gotten all the grease, while a more reserved child gets unintentionally gypped. So I do constantly assess how fair I'm...READ MORE

Filed under

Ten Pleasures Gwyneth Paltrow Will Never Know

04/14/2015 Comments (65)

"We felt very nice and snug," says Ishmael in chapter 11 of Moby Dick,

The more so since it was so chilly out of doors; indeed out of bed-clothes too, seeing that there was no fire in the room. The more so, I say, because truly to enjoy bodily warmth, some small part of you must be cold, for there is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrastIf you flatter yourself that you are all over comfortable, and have been so a long time, then you cannot be said to be comfortable any more. But if, like Queequeg and me in the bed, the tip of your nose or the crown of your head be slightly chilled, why then, indeed, in the general consciousness you feel most delightfully and...READ MORE

Filed under

Salon Christianity Secrets: The Fine Art of Doing Zero Research

04/09/2015 Comments (75)

Oh, this is fun. I stopped by Salon.com to see what my intellectual superiors were up to today, and their huge headliner made my eyes bug out: 

Jesus went to hell: The Christian history churches would rather not acknowledge: Prior to his resurrection, Christ descended to the underworld -- a paradox most churches would rather not confront.

Yup, that's right: it's a shocking, unbelievable exposé about . . . something that Catholics say out loud that they believe, every single Sunday. Or more often, if they say the rosary. The lede from Salon:

“It was Saturday that Jesus Christ went to Hell.”

 This is one phrase that Christians, whether mainline or evangelical, Catholic or Protestant,...READ MORE

Filed under

I Don't Know Nothin' About Raisin' No Babies, Apparently

04/07/2015 Comments (26)

"Assume I don't know anything." This is what I always tell the nurses in the hospital when I have a new baby. And I'm not just being modest or cute or something. I have picked up a few things about caring for babies in the last seventeen years (SEVENTEEN YEARS); but there are a few things that I will never, ever learn.  For instance:

1. That baby is asleep. Sleeping babies breathe very shallowly. If you really, really feel the need to freak out over whether she is breathing or not, you can slowly, quietly go in real close and listen, and you will be able to tell if she is breathing. It is not medically necessary to swoop down upon the child, hear her gasping with fright, and then clasp her...READ MORE

Filed under

Grace Is Free, But Not All Fees Are Simony

04/02/2015 Comments (31)

Here's welcome news: the diocese of Pittsburgh has joined the list of those who will not charge for annulments. According to the Star-Tribune (h/t Deacon's Bench

 The fees [for annulments] in the six-county diocese ranged from $50 to $650 depending on the complexity of the case, said the Rev. Thomas Kunz.

In some dioceses, the fee are even higher.  Pittsburgh's Bishop Zubik said,

"My hope is that this decision will enable many people to participate fully in the sacramental life of the Church."

Catholics are rightly pleased at this development. The expense of obtaining a decree of nullity makes it difficult for some people to come into full communion with the Church. When...READ MORE

Filed under

Nobody told me!

03/31/2015 Comments (43)

There was a commotion in the communion line. I couldn't hear what the deacon was saying, but the woman who approached him was responding to him in a loud, conversational tone that rose above the reverent murmur in the church. "What are you talking about?" she called out. "Is this what you mean? This?"

Horror: she was waving around a consecrated Host like it was a business card or a cookie. I started to put the baby down, preparing to rush over and tackle this woman before she did something unthinkable.

Then I realized she was smiling, embarrassed. She gave the Host back to the deacon and said, just as loudly, "I didn't know! Nobody told me!" And she walked away. As far as I can tell, she...READ MORE

Filed under

Let's Ditch the Prom

03/26/2015 Comments (51)

A Pennsylvania Catholic high school is requiring girls to submit photos of their prom dresses for approval, before the actual night. Deacon Greg Kandra passses along the story here

Such policies always sound a little heavy-handed (and students claim that the guidelines were issued at the last minute, which means that already-purchased, non-returnable dresses may be ruled inappropriate), if not downright oppressive (well, by American standards of oppression), but I sympathize with the school.  If students showed up in appropriate dresses, the policy would not be necessary; but flat out hooker wear is still very much in vogue. So schools can't simply count on kids, or their parents, to...READ MORE

Filed under

Page 2 of 66 pages  < 1 2 3 4 >  Last ›

About Simcha Fisher

Simcha Fisher
  • Get the RSS feed
Simcha Fisher, author of The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning writes for several publications and blogs at I Have to Sit Down. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and nine children. Without supernatural aid, she would hardly be a human being.