Don't Bubble-Wrap Your Kids

10/14/2014 Comments (26)

This year, I'm not seeing a lot of hand-wringing over the dangers of the occult during Halloween. Most of the Hallowangst of 2014 seems to be focused on how much cancer we are willing to give our kids via the delicious, delicious GMO toxins in the candy they get. My policy on that score is: I love my children so much, and am willing to sacrifice for them; so rather than exposing them to danger, I think they should give me all their candy.

Back to the occult. On the way to school, we pass a house which gets decorated a little bit more for Halloween each year. There are the typical Halloween decorations, like skeletons, spiders, vampires, and jack-o'-lanterns, all falling into the category...READ MORE

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At Synod, Sex-Obsessed Catholic Church Finally Talks About Sex, Finally

10/09/2014 Comments (53)

Need a good laugh this morning? NBC's Ann Curry delivers. The headline: 

Can They Say That at the Vatican? Pope Francis Promotes Sex Talk 

The gist: Everybody knows that the main thing about the Catholic Church is that it is obsessed with sex, and can't stop meddling with people's sex lives, and thinks it has all the answers about sex, and the Church has no business having all these opinions about sex because Catholics have too many babies and think about sex all the time, and has way way too much to say about gay sex and unmarried sex and married sex, and why can't the Church stop talking about sex all the time, the big pervs? Also, this just in: the Church is finally talking about sex,...READ MORE

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Believe It Or Not, Having Ten Kids Changes You

10/07/2014 Comments (31)

Autumn is a naturally nostaligic time of year, when we think back on the past, take stock of how far we have come and how much has changed. Myself, I'm thinking back a good 16-17 years, when I was pregnant with my first child. And yes indeed, a lot has changed since then. I've gone from a little slip of a premip to a grand (even "great grand" in some places) multipara of (argh) advanced maternal age, and what a long, strange trip it's been. Here are a few differences that leap to mind:

Baby #1: Ooh, I can't wait until tomorrow, when I will be 172 days pregnant! I remember back when I was only 163 days pregnant.  Boy, that was a week to remember. So much has changed! 

Baby #10: I must be...READ MORE

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How Welcoming Is Your Parish?

10/02/2014 Comments (76)

Is your church welcoming to outsiders? Or to insiders? The other day, Dom Bettinelli hosted an interesting conversation on Facebook, wondering what lay Catholics would suggest to make their parishes more accessible and inviting.

His original question was about how to make parishes more welcoming for people who aren't familiar with the Faith, but I'm expanding it a bit here, and thinking about things that most people could use, whether they're regular parishioners or someone who just stumbled in to get out of the rain.

The one rule is: it has to be fairly cheap, and cannot cause major upheaval or headaches for the pastor. No "replace everything with marble" or "assign a 24-hour on-call...READ MORE

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Catholics, Cotton Candy, and Comeuppance

09/30/2014 Comments (19)

When I was about eight years old, I decided that, just once, I was going to read a story that turned out the way I wanted it to turn out.  So I wrote it myself. It was about a little girl who went to a fair, and she got to go on all the rides as many times as she wanted, and all the vendors thought she looked like such a neat kid that they gave her tons of food for free, and then she played a bunch of games and she won prizes every single time. Then she went home when she was ready to go home.

Even I knew that this was the worst story ever. Even though the little girl was tired at the end, nothing had happened. The story was devoid of conflict, which is the tension necessary to make the...READ MORE

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Should Catholics Read Anti-Catholic Materials?

09/23/2014 Comments (119)

Yesterday, someone shared this picture with me.



Well, that's silly. The statue labelled "Semiramis" and "Nimrod" is clearly European and clearly Medieval, which is about as far from "Ancient Babylon" as you can get. A few hardy souls went to the source of the meme and let its anti-Catholic authors know that the statue of "Semiramis" was, in fact, indisputably a Madonna and Child who reside in the South Portal of the Cologne Cathedral.

And guess what? No one cared. They didn't even have the good grace to feel sheepish over the goofy historical error. What mattered to them was that Catholics are wrong, Catholics are always wrong, and if Catholics defend themselves with demonstrable...READ MORE

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Tantrum Ergo Sacramentum

09/18/2014 Comments (18)

It's a whole year away, but I'm starting to get excited about World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia! There are going to be tons of fantastic speakers, and best of all, there will be a Papal Mass. 

Imagine, if you will, how much preparation goes into a huge, complicated event like this:  the scheduling, the promotion, the legal issues, even just making sure there are enough bathrooms. And how about the music? Which hymns would be appropriate for a Mass which culminates a celebration of all things pertaining to family life? Here are a few suggestions, from someone who's spent the last 17 years drowning in rejoicing in Catholic family living:

  • Recalling the importance of preparing...READ MORE

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What Are You Doing for Catechism This Year?

09/16/2014 Comments (42)

The first few weeks of school are accomplished. We've picked up most of the important pieces of our shattered psyches, and are looking around for ways to move forward, rather than just survive. Top of the list: what to do about catechism for nine kids? Even though the summer was technically full of free time, somehow we never managed to get any regular catechesis in. Well, better now than never. On the principle that doing something second-rate consistently is better than doing something first-rate hardly at all, here is our sustainable plan:

The toddler, who two-and-a-half, is perfecting her sign of the cross CUTE!), shouting "SAY HAIW MARY!" when we hear a siren, and learning how to...READ MORE

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About Simcha Fisher

Simcha Fisher
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Simcha Fisher, author of The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning writes for several publications and blogs at I Have to Sit Down. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and nine children. Without supernatural aid, she would hardly be a human being.