While many people think of donating to established charitable organizations around Christmastime (or around the end of the tax year), other people like to make it more personal.  But this is easier said than done.  We all know what we would like or need for Christmas, but what about an entirely different family in an entirely different situation?  Here are a few things to keep in mind, if your kind heart is leading you to help out a local family in need.

1.  Beggars can't be choosers -- and that stinks.   Gift cards or cash may seem like a dull and impersonal gift to you, but the gift of choice is a big deal to someone who rarely gets to shop for whatever they want.  If you really want...READ MORE

As some of you know, I got a little irritated at the news that Michael Voris and the mostly-reliable Fr. Z have chosen to launch a bizarre Lenten retreat Carribean cruise (I believe that's what's known as a "statistically improbable phrase").  I was planning to write a mildly snarky post called "Ten Ways to Spend a Thousand Dollars," listening nine ways you could spend your money well and wisely, and then also this dopey "retreat" -- which, yes, costs over a thousand dollars per person, and takes place on a luxury cruise ship which, like all cruise ships, offers those three pillars of the Lenten season:  cocktails, casinos and show girls.

So I started hunting for the names of worthy...READ MORE

Yesterday, I was chatting with the editor of my upcoming book about sex, marriage, and NFP.  As a non-Catholic, she rejects the Church's teaching abut sex, marriage and NFP; but she enjoys and respects the way Catholics think and speak about the world in general.  Because of the theological disparity between us, and because she's a good editor, she is very aware that she needs to separate her editorial judgment from her moral opinions of my work; and I enjoy hearing the professional perspective of someone with a different personal point of view.

We were chatting about a passage I wrote, describing a woman as "gluttonous."  Here, my editor's professional poise broke down.  She simply...READ MORE

We don't celebrate Hanukkah every year.  But this year, my gentile husband and I both agreed, almost without discussion, that we would.  We keep it simple.  After we light the candles on the advent wreath, and pray and sing, we borrow the flame and light the shamash candle and then the rest of the candles for the rest of the days of Hanukkah.  The wreath on the table burns, and the menorah burns on the windowsill, their light doubled and tripled in the insulating glass. 

How strange it is to stand for a minute between these two lights, the light of Advent steadily growing as we look forward to Christmas, and forward to the Second Coming -- but unmistakably, there is an older part to...READ MORE

Is it my imagination, or is the Catholic internet just bristling with lists of gift ideas for men this year?

Are there suggestion lists like this for women's gifts?  Is it my silly little lady imagination going all kookie again, or is it actually fairly easy to buy presents for women?  Of course it's  possible to go astray, but most women will tell you exactly what they want, if you ask them.  Then what you do is you go out and buy or make or get or do that, and then either add an unexpected upgrade, or add something a little extra to show that you like buying stuff for her (which you don't, but shut up, it's Christmas).  It's pretty easy.

But buying presents for men is quite another...READ MORE

A reader writes:

After converting to Orthodox Judaism, I adopted a very "frum" life in a tight-knit Orthodox (although non-Chassidic) community. After several years, though,(and for various reasons) I drifted away from yiddishkeit and eventually came to know Christ. (This is, of course, a very terse summary of my spiritual journey.) The main difficulty I have encountered with my new faith is the lack of community I feel in the Catholic world. In the Orthodox world, there were relatively easy and concrete ways in which to forge that connection with your community. There were Shabbos and Yom Tov meals to share, everybody attended the same shul, and holidays were very much communal...READ MORE

All mothers think that their babies are special.  As a young and insecure mom, I was really hung up on this concept of specialness.  I constantly compared my kids to other people's kids, reassuring myself that my kids were at least a little bit above average in every way, if not off the charts.  They were smarter, more beautiful, more agile, more alert, more talented, more promising in every area -- they had to be.  I forget why, exactly, I felt that way; but I was completely in that feeling's thrall.  I even felt slightly scornful of people who went ga-ga over some other, inferior baby's big blue eyes, as if blue were a good color for a baby's eyes, for goodness sake, when clearly brown...READ MORE

1.  You don't know how to do it.

You know how to talk, don't you?  That's what prayer is -- talking to God, and learning how to listen.  Like any conversation, it feels awkward if you are more or less strangers, or if you've been away for a while, but prayer is something that everyone can learn.  Try some Ignatian Spirituality for some gentle, practical advice on how to get the conversation going.

2.  It seems childish.

Religion seems childish to people who stopped learning about religion when they were children.  Don't think that whatever you learned about God in second grade is all there is to learn!  Read some Aquinas, or learn about the martyrs, and then get back to me about...READ MORE