No Thanks Giving

11/25/2011 Comments (32)

It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and you guys are all either breathing your last as the hordes of shoppers trample on your head to reach the last Lalaloopsy Silly Hair doll available in North America, or else you’re weeping into a pan of leftover cornbread stuffing, wondering how you’ll ever face your girlfriend again after that . . . thing you did at her parents’ house.  In any case, I know perfectly well that no one’s reading this.

I, for one, had a lovely Thanksgiving.  The food was great, I didn’t make any of it myself, and there were cousins galore. My husband stuck to his “do not mention” list of interesting factoids about Newt Gingrich, and we’re fairly sure that, in the absence of...READ MORE

Filed under

Thanksgiving and Desire

11/24/2011 Comments (15)

My daughter is in kindergarten, and we had the following conversation last night:

Sophia:  In school we were making these leaves, and we had to put things that we were thankful for.  Everyone else was just putting their family.  But I didn’t.
Me:  Oh?  What did you put?
Sophia:  I just put Jesus.  Our family is TOO BIG.
Me (a little taken aback):  It is?  Do you really think our family is too big?
Sophia:  Yeah!  It has alllllll these people in it!
Me (thinking, “Rash words from child number six!”):  Well, which person do you think is extra in our family?
Sophia:  The new baby.  Yeah, the new baby is definitely extra.
Me: (really kind of stunned now, because this kid loves babies): ...READ MORE

Filed under

Dangerous Books for Teenage Girls

11/22/2011 Comments (107)

Believe it or not, I still haven’t seen the final installment of Stephenie Meyer’s masterful saga, Pretty Hair, Platelets, and the Hottest Chastity Ever, or whatever it’s called. From what I hear, it’s either fiercely and unexpectedly pro-life or horrifyingly damaging to the pro-life movement.  One things seems certain:  it’s a pretty crappy movie inspired by a crappy book.  So.

More interesting than the books themselves is the debate over whether or not they are dangerous to young women’s ideas about love.  I’ve made sure that my own daughters would rather eat Vaseline than read a Twilight book (snobbery has its benefits).  But as a dopey and malleable teenage girl, I came across lots of...READ MORE

Filed under

True Grit and Winter's Bone

11/18/2011 Comments (17)

By coincidence, I watched both True Grit (2010) and Winter’s Bone recently.  Both films were nominated for Oscars in 2011, and much has been made over the parallels between them: incredibly tough teenage girl, left alone to care for her siblings and hapless mother, shows preternatural courage and determination on her quest— in True Grit, to find and kill her father’s murderer; in Winter’s Bone, to find her father, dead or alive.

It’s irresistible to compare the two movies, and it’s refreshing that neither girl is made a puppet for either feminist or conservative agitprop.  But it doesn’t serve either film well to rate them against each other.  They aim for and achieve different things.


Filed under

Wegmans Erects Retaining Wall

11/17/2011 Comments (106)

Here’s something cheering:  Wegmans supermarket recently snagged the attention of Jezebel when a reader sent in this photo of a magazine for sale.  The store chose to partially cover the magazine with a black shield:


If you’ve ever seen Cosmo magazine, you might assume that the store was doing the decent thing by covering up some ridiculous starlet’s writhing, naked torso, because every month is Writhing Naked Torso Month at Cosmo.  (You know, because it’s a Women’s Magazine.  They also have Cosmo for Men, which is like having a distinct line of Meow Mix which is specially for cats.) Jezebel says of the store’s decision to cover the cover:

t’s hard to understand the rationale. . . ....READ MORE

Filed under

Making Room

11/15/2011 Comments (87)

My youngest kids are finally getting the idea that there is a baby—not an image, or a concept, or one of those weird grown-up stories, but an actual human being—inside my belly. They can tell it’s true, because they can see what is unmistakably a little baby butt, bopping around about 18 degrees northwest of what used to be my belly button.

“But—” asked my kids, “But how is there room in there for a whole baby?”

Well, I’ll tell you. There isn’t. There is no room. My midwife said today that she thought baby was “maybe a little on the big side.” Hearing that was like passing a highway sign that warns, “LOW FLYING AIRCRAFT.” Thanks for letting me know, but what am I supposed to do about it?...READ MORE

Filed under

Teshing It Up a Notch

11/10/2011 Comments (52)

I was listening to “The John Tesh Radio Show:  Intelligence for Your Life” the other day, and I thought—

Hold on, let me back up for a minute.

The reason I was listening to John Tesh is because, see, my husband was working late, I mean really late, and I kept on eating Fudgsicles while waiting for him to come home, and I still had to clean up the kitchen, and I knew I’d never put the Fudgesicles down and do the dishes if I didn’t have something to listen to.  But the kids broke the antenna off the radio, so the only station that comes in clearly is a station which sucks you in by playing something good, like U2, and then something tolerable, like Tracy Chapman, and then the next thing...READ MORE

Filed under

Deliver Us From Evil Kind of Thing

11/08/2011 Comments (62)

The time:  earlier this year.  The occasion:  a post-operative tonsillectomy visit with my son’s ENT.  She was telling me what to watch out for as his scar sites healed.  “You might see some . . . you know?  kind-of-thing,” she explained.  And then she just looked at me, expectantly.

“Nnnn-no,” I wanted to say.  “No, I do not know what kind of thing.  Because you . . .  you did not say anything!”  Grateful to have the printed materials from the hospital, I just bundled up my son and got out of that strange, vague place where they put you to sleep and remove parts of your body kind of thing.

The always-specific Rebecca Teti pointed out this dismally hilarious piece, “What Happens in...READ MORE

Filed under

Page 58 of 72 pages ‹ First  < 56 57 58 59 60 >  Last ›

About Simcha Fisher

Simcha Fisher
  • Get the RSS feed
Simcha Fisher, author of The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning writes for several publications and blogs at I Have to Sit Down. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and nine children. Without supernatural aid, she would hardly be a human being.