Every Part of the Buffalo

Friday, March 18, 2011 9:00 AM Comments (18)

Remember learning in third grade that the Native Americans used every part of the buffalo? The hide, the hooves, the horns, the organs, the bones, the sinew, and of course the meat—it was all put to good use, and helped them survive.  Nothing went to waste, not even the waste! They burned that for fuel.

Well, being a Catholic is kind of like that. Who could possibly find a use for a leaky pipe, a suicidal van, a five-year-old boy who routinely goes berserk, a bulging waistline, a wrenched back and another sleepless night, or fleas?

Who but God?

I certainly don’t want all of those things; I have no use for them at all. But when they come rumbling across the landscape at me in herds, I can...READ MORE

Filed under prayer, suffering

NFP Charting? There's an App for That

Thursday, March 17, 2011 10:00 AM Comments (51)

Now that the storm of ludicrous misinformation about the Confession app has all but died down, I’d like to draw your attention to another app that will be useful to many Catholics—and it was developed by a Baptist.

It’s an NFP charting app for iPad and iPhone.  There are several NFP apps available, mostly for the sympto-thermal method. They carry the warning: “for recreational purposes only,” which makes me giggle.  “Recreational?” I hate, dread, and stink at keeping charts. No, that’s not God’s way of telling me that NFP is inherently sinful, or that I should just go ahead and have 11 more babies. It’s just that I and my household are utterly, tragically unsuited for handling routine...READ MORE

Filed under apps, catholic, nfp

What We're Willing to Live With

Tuesday, March 15, 2011 10:00 AM Comments (9)

On Sunday, my husband and I had a home date. For reasons beyond my control, it featured red wine, fresh mozzarella with prosciutto, and sun dried tomatoes with basil and chopped almonds ... served on Goldfish crackers. It was very romantic, because my husband was super nice about the Goldfish crackers. Sometimes we do the whole “tablecloth, soft music and candlelight” bit, but we looked at each other and realized that we wanted nothing more than to zonk out in front of the TV for a while. So we watched Insomnia (2002), which is available for instant viewing on Netflix.

I didn’t zonk out! The movie was too good. And highly appropriate for Lent, since it’s all about self-examination and...READ MORE

Filed under compromise, lent, movies, reviews

Just How Holy Are You?

Friday, March 11, 2011 10:04 AM Comments (46)

In these early days of Lent, we can get to feeling pretty holy.  The bloom is not yet off the rose.  It’s the first week, and our souls are filled to the brim with a bracing combination of pious fervor and healthy humility.

But just how holy are you, really?  Here’s a handy quiz to help you keep track of your spiritual state.

1.  It’s Ash Wednesday Mass, and it’s so crowded with novelty-seekers that you and your kids can’t find a seat.  Do you:

(a)  Praise God that you may, all unknowing, be witness to the miracle as the Holy Spirit plants the seeds of faith in the hearts of your fallen-away brethren?
(b)  Force yourself to smile and nod at all the strangers busily texting their friends...READ MORE

Filed under catholic, garlic bread, lent, music

Gail DeMasi: "The Basic Knowing Is Already on Our Hearts"

Thursday, March 10, 2011 10:00 AM Comments (6)

One nice thing about living in a small state?  You run into the new President of the NH Citizens for Life while waiting for the deli man to slice your ham.  Gail DeMasi has always been more than approachable, though.  She and her husband Andy are down-to-earth, literally: they plow roads and cut wood in their rural neighborhood, as well as renovate and sell houses, raise purebred dogs, sell gelato, and teach the deaf, among other enterprises.  Did you guess that DeMasi also home schools?  Of her fourteen children, five are still at home, along with a few grandchildren.  Her grown children have spread out around the country and the world.

Did I mention she’s taking a Criminology course, is...READ MORE

Filed under abortion, citizens for life, planned parenthood, politics, pro-life

You Don't Have to Do This

Tuesday, March 08, 2011 10:00 AM Comments (62)

I was shopping for toiletries at Walmart one evening, and came across a young couple—a very young couple—browsing in the condom aisle.  By their manner, you could see this type of outing was a novelty for them.  They must not have been any older than 15.  I could have picked them both up in my arms without breaking a sweat—they were so puny, so spindly and young.  It was revolting to think of him taking any girl into his bedroom, so far was he from being anything like a man, with his googly eyes, his drooping pants, his acne.  They were both giggling, shoving each other in a teasing, panicked way, the way kids do when they’re making dares.

I wanted to tell the girl:  Do you know that you...READ MORE

Filed under contraception, girls, planned parenthood, sex

When Someone Is Wrong on the Internet

Friday, March 04, 2011 10:00 AM Comments (31)


(“Duty Calls” at xkcd.com)

I’m not always proud of my behavior online.  No, really!  Still, I am better than I used to be; and, as I always tell my kids, you can’t ask for more than progress.  Here are a few things that help me behave when discussing important topics (especially religious ones) online:

Remember there’s a person on the other end. When things get intense, I sometimes mention something personal to bring the conversation back to a human level:  Instead of “I’ve wasted enough time with you, thickhead” try “Gotta go throw that meatloaf in the oven now.”  Someone else is likely to say, “Hey, we’re having meatloaf, too!” and everyone suddenly remembers that, if we were sitting...READ MORE

Filed under courtesy, internet, meatloaf

New Study: The Church Is Right About Everything

Thursday, March 03, 2011 11:45 AM Comments (77)

Last week, The New York Times wrote about the results of a new scientific study: man are more attracted to a woman when she is ovulating ... but only if he’s not already in a relationship with someone else.  Men who are already in a romantic relationship will get the heck away from an ovulating women he’s not committed to, because—well, you know.  They don’t need that kind of trouble.

This kind of study drives the women of DoubleX cuh-razy.  For you happy innocents who know not DoubleX, it’s a feminist blog whose tagline is, “What women really think.” This always makes me imagine a box of salt with the tagline, “What slugs really want.”  Not this slug!  This slug thinks it’s fascinating...READ MORE

Filed under feminism, fidelity, science, sex

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About Simcha Fisher

Simcha Fisher
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Simcha Fisher, author of The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning writes for several publications and blogs at I Have to Sit Down. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and nine children. Without supernatural aid, she would hardly be a human being.