Deliver Us From Evil Kind of Thing

Tuesday, November 08, 2011 8:00 AM Comments (62)

The time:  earlier this year.  The occasion:  a post-operative tonsillectomy visit with my son’s ENT.  She was telling me what to watch out for as his scar sites healed.  “You might see some . . . you know?  kind-of-thing,” she explained.  And then she just looked at me, expectantly.

“Nnnn-no,” I wanted to say.  “No, I do not know what kind of thing.  Because you . . .  you did not say anything!”  Grateful to have the printed materials from the hospital, I just bundled up my son and got out of that strange, vague place where they put you to sleep and remove parts of your body kind of thing.

The always-specific Rebecca Teti pointed out this dismally hilarious piece, “What Happens in...READ MORE

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Vincible Ignorance

Friday, November 04, 2011 8:00 AM Comments (37)

image
(photo

fault

courtesy of Thomas L. McDonald)

Alphonse Ratisbonne, a French Jew and devout hater of Catholicism and religion in general, converted more or less without warning, and apparently without effort.  He happened to travel to Rome in 1842, where Our Lady herself appeared to him.  He says:

All I can say is that the moment when the Blessed Virgin made a sign with her hand, the veil fell from my eyes; not one veil only, but all the veils which were wrapped around me disappeared, just as snow melts beneath the rays of the sun. . . I am asked how I attained a knowledge of these truths, since it is well known that I never opened a religious book, had never read a page of the Bible, and...READ MORE

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Vatican Does Horrible Job of Being Anti-Science

Thursday, November 03, 2011 8:00 AM Comments (56)

In a move utterly devoid of shock value to Catholics who have been paying attention at all, the Vatican has announced plans to fund NeoStem, a small adult stem cell research company in New York.  According to the Los Angeles Times,

[NeoStem CEO Dr. Robin] Smith . . . was quick to emphasize that the Vatican is not investing in her company, which is publicly traded on the New York Stock Exchange. Most of the collaboration will involve a nonprofit company established by NeoStem, the Stem for Life Foundation, she said. The Vatican’s role will include fundraising, launching educational campaigns, contributing to research and sponsoring the Rome conference, Smith said.

The Vatican signed a $1...READ MORE

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Unearned Love

Tuesday, November 01, 2011 8:00 AM Comments (60)

As the old joke goes, I used to have several theories on parenting.  Now I have several children, and no theories.

This line rings because there are so many different kinds of children, and also because there are so many different kinds of parents.  If we all tried to raise our children the same way, most of us would fail miserably, because our personalities are gifts from God as much as our skills and talents are, and we are supposed to work with what we have.

Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something terribly wrong with one mother’s approach.  She wrote in to Slate’s advice column:

Q. I have been told that I am a cold and unloving mother because when my children get...READ MORE

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On-screen (and On-couch) Behavior

Friday, October 28, 2011 8:00 AM Comments (73)

Since the world doesn’t always accommodate a Catholic idea of modesty, we are supposed to maintain “custody of the eyes.” We work at keeping our eyes to ourselves, learning not to stare at things we shouldn’t be seeing, whether they’re in real life or on the screen.

I once startled someone (really, she was extremely startled) by describing how, when my husband and I watch movies or TV, we sometimes reach scenes that make us shield our eyes or make mood-killing noises until the scene is over. She could see why a single person, or a dating person, or a married person trying to abstain would want to guard himself from temptation. But a married couple with, shall we say, a green light? What is...READ MORE

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My Brilliant Parenting Idea

Thursday, October 27, 2011 8:00 AM Comments (35)

Sometimes parents have to make dramatic changes in our lives: break habits, shift gears, or renounce cherished parenting theories for the good of our children. Sometimes, though, we can do something really good for our kids by just looking at the natural pattern of our lives, and squeezing every bit of good we can out of what’s already there.

I’ve written about the advantages of having siblings, and I no longer worry that having a big family inevitably means that the kids will be neglected. It does take some vigilance, however, to make sure our kids feel important. No matter how much nurturing and support and benefit kids get from each other, they do need one-on-one time with their...READ MORE

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Twofer Costumes for the Conflicted Catholic Family

Tuesday, October 25, 2011 7:59 AM Comments (45)

I really don’t want to talk about Halloween.

I didn’t manage to prepare anything spectacular (read: anything) to celebrate All Saints’ Day this year. 
I do, however, want to immerse my children in the richness of the liturgical year. 
I don’t, however, have the energy to come up with any contorted logic about how dressing up as a zombie with bleeding eyes is actually a corking good, theologically sound method of laughing at the devil. 
I do, however, let my kids wear costumes involving fake blood, severed limbs and terrifying mustaches, if the spirit so moves them. 
I don’t, however, live in Amityville or Sunnydale, so as long as the little temporary pagans don’t show any particular...READ MORE

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Falser Words Were Never Spoken

Friday, October 21, 2011 8:00 AM Comments (114)

As a mother, hearing outrageously false statements is my bread and butter.  I didn’t even blink when my four-year-old daughter told me that four of her (she has five identical alter egos) grew wings and are flying around outside today.  I said that I would love to see them (and I can’t actually imagine a more glorious sight), but she said they are invizzerbul, but that if I listen closely, I will hear them walking around on the roof.

Some of the tall tales I hear are not quite so charming.  My two-year-old, for instance, hollered that she was NOT POOPY, even though the evidence of this falsehood was so overwhelming that the very air around her lower half was visibly quivering with...READ MORE

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About Simcha Fisher

Simcha Fisher
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Simcha Fisher, author of The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning writes for several publications and blogs at I Have to Sit Down. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and nine children. Without supernatural aid, she would hardly be a human being.