What's Your Apology Policy?

Tuesday, January 31, 2012 9:00 AM Comments (46)

To those of you who never offend anyone:  read no more.  This is not the post for you.

For those, however, who go through life like some kind of possessed windmill that’s come unmoored from its foundations and goes blundering across the landscape, whacking and smacking and swinging indiscriminately, leaving wreckage and pain in its path:  Hello.  My name is Simcha Fisher, and I’m a windmill.

Which is to say, it’s a rare day when I don’t offend someone.  Writing publicly is still new to me, and I’m trying to figure out my responsibility when someone’s offended.  I’ve been thinking about apologies lately, and have discovered several categories:

1.  The official apology for serious...READ MORE

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Ten Reasons There Are No Women in Hell

Friday, January 27, 2012 9:00 AM Comments (84)

Every month or so, I check my blog stats, and discover that someone who ... well, someone who is not like me finds my blog by searching for some variation on the phrase, “women who have gone to hell for wearing trousers.”

Now, I’ve seen Pulp Fiction, too. I know what the Lord says about those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. FURrrrrious anger! Ka-blammo! That was awesome.

I mean, it was a terrible, immoral film which I regret watching seven times to figure out if it was actually about anything. (Conclusion: No. But The Big Lebowski definitely was.)

But really, does He send women to Hell for wearing trousers? Does He send women to Hell at all? Maybe that was the original...READ MORE

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Talk to Your Mother!

Thursday, January 26, 2012 9:00 AM Comments (30)

Popular science has a lot to say about mothers and children lately. (Or maybe it’s just like when you buy a new car, and suddenly you see that model everywhere—maybe it’s just me!) There was this lovely little piece about what happens when a mother and her infant smile at each other. According to Science Now,

A new study shows that 3-month-old infants and their mothers can synchronize their heartbeats to mere milliseconds. Researchers sat 40 pairs of mothers and infants face-to-face, equipped with sticky skin electrodes on either side of their hearts. Beat for beat, mother-and-child hearts thumped together almost instantly as they shared loving looks or contented coos. This cardiac...READ MORE

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Bene, bene, bene

Tuesday, January 24, 2012 9:00 AM Comments (42)

Occasionally, you’ll hear about a child named “Princess” or “Precious” or even “Perfect.” Makes you cringe, but anyone with a beloved new baby will understand the impulse, if not the offense against taste and common sense: You want to make an official record of the fact that you love your child. You want to imprint the little one, from the very first moments of life, with the knowledge that he is welcome and cherished, that the world is better because he is here.

Okay, so naming him “Yourhighness” is a bit much, but most parents want to choose a name which makes a favorable impression on the world and on the child himself, especially since the world can be so hard.

My baby is just over...READ MORE

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Tired Pride

Friday, January 20, 2012 11:07 AM Comments (47)

It’s a pretty swell age, if there’s something wrong with you.  You name it, and there’s a support group ready to encourage you to wear your infirmity with pride.  Some of this is downright horrible (and, after searching for quite some time for a link that was both sufficiently horrible and appropriate for the Register, I gave up), some vaguely depressing (I’m wearing, for instance, jeans with the brand name that cheerily boasts, “Just My Size!” because the company apparently didn’t realize that, when you suggest that it’s a real accomplishment to sufficiently cover my entire hindquarters, THAT DOESN’T HELP), and some are probably onto something

Now, there’s not really anything wrong...READ MORE

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To the Mother With Only One Child

Thursday, January 19, 2012 9:00 AM Comments (689)

Dear Mother of Only One Child,

Don’t say it.  Before the words can even pass your lips, let me beg you:  don’t say, “Wow, you have nine kids?  I thought it was hard with just my one!”

My dear, it is hard.  You’re not being a wuss or a whiner when you feel like your life is hard.  I know, because I remember having “only one child.”  You may not even believe how many times I stop and reflect on how much easier my life is, now that I have nine children.

All right, so there is a lot more laundry.  Keeping up with each child’s needs, and making sure they all get enough attention, is a constant worry.  And a stomach bug is pretty much the end of the world, when nine digestive tracts are...READ MORE

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Why Should I Listen To You?

Tuesday, January 17, 2012 9:00 AM Comments (21)

I want to improve my life.  I want to be more open to the will of God, more ready to hear His voice.  Like the child Samuel in the temple, I’m not expecting to hear God speaking to me directly—so I try to be alert to other voices which have some authority, and to answer when they call.

Easier said than done.  There are many worthy voices out there saying many worthy things, but here’s the catch:  not all of them are talking to me.  When I hear a good idea, a criticism, a suggestion, a plan, a description of a lifestyle, I often think, “Oooh, that’s absolutely right!  I ought to be doing, thinking, or being that way!  I’LL START RIGHT NOW!”  Every day, I thread my poor conscience onto a...READ MORE

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Just Call Me Corrie ten Boom.

Friday, January 13, 2012 9:00 AM Comments (12)

I’ve read a few religious blogs in my time, which is why I’m such a good person.  It’s also why I know the routine: You’re doing some unpleasant task, and you hates it, you just hates it. It’s hard, it’s boring, if only you had some money you could hire someone, and why did you go to college if you were just going to end up thisaway, and you bet Julia Roberts doesn’t have to do it, and she’s not even very talented! And so on.

You go on, you go on, you’re pouting and grousing and making the whole world dark and angry, when suddenly . . .  LIGHT DAWNS.  Right in the middle of your lousy attitude, the sun comes out and suffuses the workaday haze with a glow straight out of Zeffirelli.  Or...READ MORE

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About Simcha Fisher

Simcha Fisher
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Simcha Fisher, author of The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning writes for several publications and blogs at I Have to Sit Down. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and nine children. Without supernatural aid, she would hardly be a human being.