How To Date Your Wife

Tuesday, February 14, 2012 9:00 AM Comments (43)

Oh, aren’t I lucky?  Last year, I got to write a post on Good Friday.  This year, it’s Valentine’s Day.  Different decor, same general atmosphere:  suffering and tears, remorse and reparations.  At least on Good Friday, you don’t have a bunch of single people watching you suffer and saying, “Oh my gosh, you’re so lucky!

Cream of tartar!  Semiconductors!  Onomatopoeia!  Gerbil bedding!  Notary public!  Joint compound!  Abstract expressionism!  Borscht!

That was me, trying to think of something, anything, to write about other than Valentine’s Day.  What do I know about Valentine’s Day, anyway?  It’s taken me most of my married life to admit that there’s not really anything wrong with women...READ MORE

Filed under

Fight Globally, Be At Peace Locally

Friday, February 10, 2012 9:00 AM Comments (53)

Ha, we thought it was a big deal when the new translation of the liturgy came out.  Remember how worked up Catholics got? 

Then, like a one-two punch, came the Komen debacle and the HHS contraception mandate.  Catholics who are plugged into Catholic news all day long might feel like we’ve spent the last few years carefully applying paint to a canvas—a little cobalt blue here, just a dab of burnt umber over there.  We’re paying close attention to composition, not wanting the warm tones in the background to overwhelm the subtly-weighted dynamic lines in the foreground.

And then, this past week, someone came along and said, “Ooh, you’re doing spin art—awesome!!”  and flicked on the switch....READ MORE

Filed under

Mama's Day: the Soundtrack

Thursday, February 09, 2012 9:00 AM Comments (45)

It’s not that I have anything against Burl Ives.  “The Wayfaring Stranger” is a very fine album, and I’m happy to have exposed my children to the rich smorgasbord of folk music Mr. Ives shares with us.

On the other hand, I now have a DIN tool.  With it, I intend to pry the entire stereo out of my van, because it’s become clear that that’s the only way I’m going to get Burl Ives to come out.  Someone pushed a little too hard (on the cassette tape, I mean, although there is no lack of other kinds of pushiness around here), and the tape has been stuck in the tape deck for close to four months now.

Well, there comes a time in a woman’s life when she simply does not wish to hear “Hey...READ MORE

Filed under

In Training

Tuesday, February 07, 2012 12:01 PM Comments (77)

A couple of guys were chatting as they waited for their sons’ turns at Supercut.  I was waiting, too, and tuned them out until I heard one say enthusiastically, “Hey, there’s a new place over on Water Street that does prostate!”

“Awesome!” crowed the other.  “I’m really into prostate, but I wasn’t crazy about the facility I was using.  What do they charge?”

What, now?

Listening more attentively, I soon discerned that these two cheerful fellows were actually discussing something called “CrossFit,” which turns out to be some sort of intensive fitness program “that combines weightlifting, sprinting, gymnastics, powerlifting, kettlebell training, plyometrics, rowing, and medicine ball...READ MORE

Filed under

Why I'm Donating to Susan G. Komen - UPDATED

Friday, February 03, 2012 8:55 AM Comments (108)

UPDATE:  Well, Komen has caved into the thugs.  Sorry to hear it.  James Taranto in the WSJ called it yesterday when he said,

Planned Parenthood’s bitter campaign against Komen—aided by left-liberal activists and media—is analogous to a protection racket: Nice charity you’ve got there. It’d be a shame if anything happened to it. The message to other Planned Parenthood donors is that if they don’t play nice and keep coughing up the cash, they’ll get the Komen treatment.

Well, don’t give up hope.  Fast and pray, and put not your trust in princes.  (Following is this morning’s original post, before the news of the reinstatement of funding broke.)

———————————————————————————————-

Oh,...READ MORE

Filed under

Just a Reminder

Thursday, February 02, 2012 9:00 AM Comments (51)

Have you been watching the news?  It’s hard to tell, in the last month, whether to weep or rejoice.

On one hand, every drive down the road, with its bedraggled array of mud-spattered campaign signs, is a dreary reminder of our damp and dismal choices for the next four years.  We can’t remember the last time there was a candidate to vote for, rather than an opponent to triangulate against.

On the other hand, the Obama administration’s new unconstitutional insurance mandate seems to be jolting weary and jaded voters into action.  Those who had given up on the political system and weren’t planning to vote, even with a clothespin on their noses—they’re suddenly realizing that it’s imperative...READ MORE

Filed under

What's Your Apology Policy?

Tuesday, January 31, 2012 9:00 AM Comments (46)

To those of you who never offend anyone:  read no more.  This is not the post for you.

For those, however, who go through life like some kind of possessed windmill that’s come unmoored from its foundations and goes blundering across the landscape, whacking and smacking and swinging indiscriminately, leaving wreckage and pain in its path:  Hello.  My name is Simcha Fisher, and I’m a windmill.

Which is to say, it’s a rare day when I don’t offend someone.  Writing publicly is still new to me, and I’m trying to figure out my responsibility when someone’s offended.  I’ve been thinking about apologies lately, and have discovered several categories:

1.  The official apology for serious...READ MORE

Filed under

Ten Reasons There Are No Women in Hell

Friday, January 27, 2012 9:00 AM Comments (84)

Every month or so, I check my blog stats, and discover that someone who ... well, someone who is not like me finds my blog by searching for some variation on the phrase, “women who have gone to hell for wearing trousers.”

Now, I’ve seen Pulp Fiction, too. I know what the Lord says about those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. FURrrrrious anger! Ka-blammo! That was awesome.

I mean, it was a terrible, immoral film which I regret watching seven times to figure out if it was actually about anything. (Conclusion: No. But The Big Lebowski definitely was.)

But really, does He send women to Hell for wearing trousers? Does He send women to Hell at all? Maybe that was the original...READ MORE

Filed under

Page 42 of 60 pages ‹ First  < 40 41 42 43 44 >  Last ›

About Simcha Fisher

Simcha Fisher
  • Get the RSS feed
Simcha Fisher, author of The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning writes for several publications and blogs at I Have to Sit Down. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and nine children. Without supernatural aid, she would hardly be a human being.