Pro-Life Teens Give Women a Voice

Friday, December 30, 2011 9:00 AM Comments (21)

Teenagers make great bellwethers:  when you hear one of them, you know there must be a whole crowd behind them.  There is safety in numbers, and vocally pro-life teens are making it “safer” to be pro-life. 

Everyone has seen true birth stories on TV; everyone knows a pregnant teenager.  Ultrasound images are everywhere.  For better or worse, the topic of pregnancy and abortion is unavoidable.  It’s no longer a taboo subject, and it’s no longer possible for the typical socially conscious teenager to have no opinion about it.

While pro-choicers are laboring to “normalize” abortion, young pro-lifers are reaching out to their peers, in person and online—working to normalize having babies! ...READ MORE

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You Say You Want a Resolution?

Thursday, December 29, 2011 9:00 AM Comments (95)

You know why January 1 is a holiday, right?  It was instituted to commemorate the deification of Julius Caesar.

Now, far be it from me to suggest that this year’s presidential candidates should honor the memory of our ancient Roman forebears by thinking of the good of the Republic and then, I don’t know, stabbing each other to death. 

I do have some advice for them, though.  I’m offering ready-made New Year’s resolutions for the folks who— oh, I can hardly bear to make my sad, disbelieving fingers type these words—might be our next president:

NEWT GINGRICH: First, so as not to appear biased, I want to put to rest once and for all the dastardly rumor that Mr. Gingrich divorced his...READ MORE

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What To Do Over Christmas Vacation?

Tuesday, December 27, 2011 9:00 AM Comments (20)

Keeping the kiddies occupied over summer vacation isn’t that hard.  Normally, Christmas vacation isn’t much of a dilemma, either:  you put on a lot of layers, you wallow around in the snow for a while, and then you come in and demand something hot to spill on yourself (or so I’ve gathered.  I haven’t actually left the house since 2004).

But we have no snow.  None at all, and so far, no one has conceived a burning desire to spend long afternoons walking back and forth in the frozen mud of the driveway, even though sometimes this activity is punctuated by the thrill of a pigeon flying by and looking at you for a minute.

We do have over a week off school, though.  What to do?  Here’s my...READ MORE

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My Favorite Christmas Album

Friday, December 23, 2011 9:05 AM Comments (27)

I fell prey to Amazon’s come-on to order just a little bit more, and bought A Medieval Christmas by the Boston Camerata (directed by Joel Cohen, Elektra Entertainment, 1991)

It is delightful.  We had a wobbly LP of this album when I was little, and played it all during Advent and Christmas.  It’s not just childhood nostalgia that makes this music wonderful, though.  If I had to be transported to some other age during Christmas, I’d chose some time and place in the medieval world.  They understood Christmas so well!

Sadly, I haven’t been able to upload the tracks I wanted to use.  You can get just the merest taste of each piece here on Amazon’s page. Here’s why I love this album:

The...READ MORE

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Eight Ways of Looking at a Baby

Thursday, December 22, 2011 9:07 AM Comments (43)

Hey, I finally had that baby!

And now, rested, relaxed and rejuvenated from maternity leave, I’m ready to be articulate and entertaining once again.  Like this:

 

Yeh, yeh, yeh.  Oooh!  Heh heh.

That is to say, I couldn’t be happier with our new little girl.  But so far, she hasn’t made me any smarter.

But she has found several others ways to improve the world, despite being only two weeks old.  For instance, she has accomplished:

Instantaneous Rejuvenation of Hope for Modern Yoot:  I’m walking down the aisle in Walmart, and here comes a wave of teenage girls, with hard mouths and stick thin legs, ironed hair, nasty, razor-slashed clothing, eyes blackened with enough eyeliner to...READ MORE

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Martha and Mary and Primitive Screwheads

Tuesday, December 06, 2011 9:00 AM Comments (79)

This year, we were bound and determined not to ruin the last few weeks of Advent with shopping.

This year, no sobbing in the aisles of Target as some undeserving jerk nabs the western hemisphere’s last remaining copy of Godzilla Unleashed for Wii. No tense evenings hunched over the computer as mom and dad show their love for their family by nearly coming to blows over whether or not one can trust the Amazon reviewers of the Li’l Cutie Maggot Farm Starter Kit.

No, this year, we were going to dispense with that foolishness, and keep Advent the way it ought to be: a holy season of quiet anticipation and preparation. We were, for once, going to choose the better part.

We accomplished this by...READ MORE

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Big and Angry Goes for a Drive

Friday, December 02, 2011 8:55 AM Comments (153)

Warning:  the following post is uncharitable, nasty, brutish, and too long.  It’s inappropriate for Advent, and unbecoming of Catholicity in general.

Think of it as a kind of therepeutic literary effleurage:  by indulging in some light grousing, I’m distracting myself from my larger, more serious beef, which is that I’m still here.  Not lying in a hospital bed with heated blankets tucked around my legs, hearing the nurses say, “You know, Mrs. Fisher, all babies are beautiful, but this one is really something special.  Here is some food that you didn’t cook, and when you’re done, you really must take a nap.”

All right, so here we go.

We don’t have any bumper stickers on our vehicle.  I...READ MORE

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Breastfeeding Bullies

Thursday, December 01, 2011 9:00 AM Comments (212)

At my last prenatal visit, I saw a new midwife.  Her exam room had all the usual distracting mobiles and soothing photos of crocuses and placid water birds.  It also had, right on eye level as I leaned back on the paper-covered table, this photo  (WARNING:  not for sensitive viewers).

I was stunned—first, from the incredible insensitivity of displaying the image.  At 38.5 weeks, I am barely keeping my head above the flood of a thousand anxieties about my baby, myself, my family.  Maybe I’m a pampered American brat, but when I recline to hear my baby’s heartbeat, I don’t expect to be confronted with horrors.  But there was a suffering child, one who was not saved, and the image of her...READ MORE

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About Simcha Fisher

Simcha Fisher
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Simcha Fisher, author of The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning writes for several publications and blogs at I Have to Sit Down. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and nine children. Without supernatural aid, she would hardly be a human being.