Are You Attached Enough?

Friday, August 03, 2012 7:00 AM Comments (148)

When I was a new mother, I let the pediatric industrial complex push me around like pawn.

My baby, for instance, spent most of her night in a "c" word -- yes, a crib.  I naively thought she was "safe" behind those bars, and it never once occurred to me that, behind her happy squeals and contented gurgles, she sensed that she was imprisoned, caged like a lab rat.

I bought shoes for her feet, if you can imagine such a thing (hello, is this 12th-century China? Unreal).  I used to put her in a bouncy chair when I wanted to do laundry.  I might as well have come right out and told her, "Yes, you little parasite, mother cares more about clean clothes than she does about you.  You see this...READ MORE

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Women Are the Battlefield

Thursday, August 02, 2012 7:00 AM Comments (117)

Reader Elisa Choffel Low writes,

I'd love to see a post on how to get beyond the two sides of finger pointing to address sexual woundedness in our culture. On one side [people say that] it's all the fault of feminism and women dressing immodestly, and on the other side it's that the patriarchy has oppressed women and objectified them.

The closest thing I have seen to anyone getting beyond this back and forth was when a guy in a combox commented that women need to understand that men are visually stimulated and out of compassion should dress more modestly, and a woman responded that the best thing he could do was to recognize that women have a deep need to feel valued and admired...READ MORE

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The Sorrows of Young Sexpot

Tuesday, July 31, 2012 7:00 AM Comments (176)

Were you ever made to read Goethe's The Sorrows of Young Werther? I tossed out my copy long ago, but I vividly remember the scene where the appalling young hero almost wets himself as he ogles sweet Lotte, a pure and virginal young maiden who has a knack for nurturing children.  For him, she thrillingly combines the best of both worlds:  a pristine and blushing virgin maidenhood and a full-throated, full-blooming, rosy maternity; and he finds her all the more desirable because she's engaged to someone else.

Of course he's a self-absorbed sturm-und-drang Romantic whose head is so firmly lodged up his own grandiose sense of  self-loathing that he can't do anything about any of this,...READ MORE

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Stress Busters!!

Friday, July 27, 2012 7:00 AM Comments (30)

Do you wake up with a sore jaw from clenching your teeth all night?  

Are you nervous, jittery, irritable and gloomy?  

Do you roll around on the floor shrieking, "Argh, argh, argh, I just don't know what's WRONG with me" and end up missing the Summer Reading Program party at the library because you refused to acknowledge that any of the pants proffered you are actually your pants?  Even the puppy pants?

If so, you are either (a) my three-year-old daughter, and you are beyond hope; or (b) like a large part of the American population:  just a little bit stressed out.

It doesn't make you feel any better when you take a little break to go on Facebook, and learn that everyone else in...READ MORE

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The Unsustainable Name

Thursday, July 26, 2012 7:00 AM Comments (51)

There was an amusing piece on NPR a few days ago:  When Hyphen Boy Meets Hyphen Girl, Names Pile Up.  It introduces a young couple, Brendan Greene-Walsh and Leila Rather-Knowles, who have absolutely no idea what they will end up calling themselves if they ever get married.  Do they keep all of their last names?  Or some of them, or some parts of them?  Or none?

"We can go the route of Prince and just drop our last names just, be like, 'I'm Brendan.' " — The Brendan formerly known as Brendan Greene-Walsh.

Things will only get more complicated if they have children.  The NPR story goes on:

 Hyphenating has waned since its peak in the '80s and '90s, in part, experts say, because...READ MORE

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Fun and Games and Rain of Knives

Friday, July 20, 2012 8:57 AM Comments (86)

If this were one of those parenting blogs about how to peacefully empower your spirited, red-shirted, kale smoothie-sipping child, who is named Ceydaenne, to be centered and free-range and whatnot, I would explain about how vital it is to provide s/him with lots and lots of unstructured, self-directed discovery time in order to non-violently foster a healthy sense of wonder and whatnot.

If you have been following my blog, however, you'd immediately recognize that what I'm really talking about is telling the kids to get away from me and find something to do, lest I strrrrrrrrangle them.

And yes, this means that they ride their scooters in the house.  Because that way, at least they're...READ MORE

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The Cruel and Caring Parent

Thursday, July 19, 2012 8:55 AM Comments (76)

"I Don't Own My Child's Body" is the weirdly melodramatic title of a recent parenting piece from CNN Living.  You can see from the URL that the original title was probably something more like, "Give Grandma a Hug" -- and that's really all the piece is about.  The author's kid sometimes doesn't feel like hugging or kissing somebody, so her mom doesn't make her:

She doesn't have to hug or kiss anyone just because I say so, not even me. I will not override my own child's currently strong instincts to back off from touching someone who she chooses not to touch.

Okay, lady.  Big deal.  I don't make my kid take off her favorite outfit, which happens to be a heavily upholstered puppy...READ MORE

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Err on the Side of Joy

Tuesday, July 17, 2012 7:00 AM Comments (47)

Last week, the Catholic blogosphere was all alight with the great good news that actress Katie Holmes is escaping Scientology and rejoining the Catholic Church.  This meme

was passed around faster than an amusing but accurate commentary on the nature of Mondays by Maxine.  The typical comment from my Catholic friends was, "Praise God!"  "How wonderful - prayers for Katie!"

Okay, but you see the little curved line at the bottom of the picture?  That's from the original, uncropped version (origin here; don't bother clicking.  A more dismal stew of blasphemy and foolishness you'll never find).  The original Katie Holmes photo from that page looks like this:

And I can't find the...READ MORE

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About Simcha Fisher

Simcha Fisher
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Simcha Fisher, author of The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning writes for several publications and blogs at I Have to Sit Down. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and nine children. Without supernatural aid, she would hardly be a human being.